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10 Items You Think Make You Cool, But Don’t

holytaco.com — Being cool is normally subjective. But there are some things that unequivocally make you uncool. We ’re not saying we’re cool, we’re just saying if you own any of these items, you’re not.

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  • kidfinesse, on 05/15/2008, -113/+569I would also add: Tribal tattoos or any tattoo for that matter. People think it makes them stand out as rebellious, but so many people have them now it actually just makes you a boring follower.
    • mywhitenoise, on 05/15/2008, -62/+57add piercings and goatees while you're at it.
      • NathanielJ, on 05/15/2008, -10/+75Add mustaches, beards, sideburns and shaved faces too. Oh, and make-up and shampoo.
        • BECoole, on 05/15/2008, -1/+33You are homeless, aren't you?
        • greatkingrat85, on 05/15/2008, -8/+4Mirror: http://64.233.183.104/search?q=cache:d4o6j0zqLDcJ: ...
        • VinceNoir, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3The real solution to not being a conformist is to stop being a human being. There are two choices: become an animal, or become a machine. I've chosen to become a machine. Of course, that will be old hat in about 15-25 years. But by then it won't matter because I won't be human any more. I'll just be data in a machine.
      • lolinyerface, on 05/15/2008, -5/+31add hair styles, collars on shirts, shoes while you're at it.
        • edwartica, on 05/15/2008, -1/+17add belts and socks and underwear.
        • VinceNoir, on 05/15/2008, -0/+9What about arms, legs, heads and torsos? Look at how many people have those thing! ***** poseurs!
      • swimmin00, on 05/15/2008, -15/+13Sure, everyone's entitled to their opinion but... no. There's nothing wrong with piercings and goatees.
        • bluto36, on 05/15/2008, -10/+5if you want to be a sheep following the nasty looking dirty flock than you are right, there is nothing wrong with piercings
        • BabyWookie, on 05/15/2008, -6/+2Chicks ***** hate goatees. I used to have one in college. I got a lot more game after I shaved it off. Right away, there was a noticeable difference. Chicks would smile and flirt with me more often, etc.
          • VinceNoir, on 05/15/2008, -2/+11Actually it depends on a whole bunch of factors:

            1. There are women who do find goatees attractive. But do you find THEM attractive?
            2. Do you have the right body type to carry it off? If your tall and thin, then no you don't. If you're short and kind of portly, and look OK with a shaved head (no weird shaped heads) then you can.
            3. Does the goatee make you look more like a serial killer than a stud? Probably serial killer is more likely. Especially if you don't look good with a shaved head.

            And there's more factors than that. No matter how much I tried to have the mid-western prep look, I couldn't pull it off. But when I got hip to the punk rock look in my teens, I found something that worked. Not only did it get me more girls, but also just in general more respect from the people I liked.

            Pretending to be something you're not is always bound to cause problems. Which is why when I reached my mid 20s I just stopped caring, My punk rock friends didn't like the new band I was listening to? Screw 'em. What happened? The cool ones who actually liked me for me and not an image, didn't care. That turned out to be... 99% of them. So in the end, just ***** be who you want to be and tell anyone who comments on it to ***** off and die. In general, it will make you quite happy. Nothing better than being yourself.
        • kenedamick, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2You sound like a humongous douche, sir.
      • benjorino, on 05/15/2008, -2/+67I can't read the word 'goatee' without a certain disturbing image appearing in my mind.
        Damn you internet.
        • MoofTheStoof, on 05/15/2008, -0/+6Then try "van dyke," which is what 90% of what we call "goatees" actually are. Me? I just have a beard. I maintain it like I maintain the lawn. Let it grow too wild then grudgingly trim it back to stubble. Then I ignore it until the process starts all over.
          • cdahlkvist, on 05/15/2008, -4/+12"I just have a beard. I maintain it like I maintain the lawn."

            So you let the neighborhood dogs use it as a toilet? Interesting. Sick, but interesting.
      • Shots, on 05/15/2008, -0/+41Tramp Stamps.
        • RonBurgundy76, on 05/15/2008, -0/+10You mean bullseyes?
        • sdub74, on 05/15/2008, -2/+2There's nothing wrong with a Tramp Stamp. It just lets you know she likes to party.
      • rex84, on 05/15/2008, -1/+18And clean underwear, bunch of sheep!
      • yogiincork, on 05/15/2008, -2/+8add piercings and goatses?
      • 11oops, on 05/15/2008, -1/+33Exposed fingers. Man, I'm so goddamn sick of seeing people's hands waving around and *****.
      • catfish182, on 05/15/2008, -1/+12In my defense i have a goatee to cover the double chin.
        • bbardlbradd, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4The goatee to goatse mistake make this post 100% more appealing.
        • diktator279, on 05/18/2008, -0/+1A beard is not a substitute for a jaw line
      • cupid311, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3sooo you pretty much described me... I have a goatee, piercings, and tattoos. Damn i must look like a loser. Well time to go get prepped out! But seriously I like my tattoos, piercings, and my goatee, I don't care what you think I look like or what you think of me, and i grew out of the "trying to be cool" thing a while ago. By the way I also have a 'fro. I wear a chain mail bracelet and a hemp necklace. Just figured i would give you more ammo to shoot at me. Bring it on! :D
      • quomen, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2Can people stop making generalizations about people who have certain things. It's just like those lists with drinks that somehow hinder your manliness. It's all about how you feel about yourself. If you're using a tatoo or longboard or bluetooth headset to try to boost your self esteem then you have it for the wrong reason. However, to call people losers for having those things only puts the blog writer's self esteem into question.
    • schuder, on 05/15/2008, -10/+76So what tribe are you a part of whitey?
      • VinceNoir, on 05/15/2008, -0/+5Hmmm... the VanSnootenbys of Worthington Massachusetts?
      • Enron, on 05/15/2008, -1/+10I am part of the Ubuntu tribe.
    • Rahodeb, on 05/15/2008, -15/+102It depends on the tatoo. Some are very cool looking, and are genuinely pieces of art. The tribal stuff, and a lot of the generic fierce cat, trying to look like a badass stuff is just follower crap. Besides, everyone knows that scarification is the new hotness, literally.
      • cJw314, on 05/15/2008, -3/+14"Beware the mutilators of the flesh..."

        ...
        • tech42er, on 05/16/2008, -1/+1For what it's worth, that refers to circumcision. St. Paul is telling Christians that they don't have to follow Jewish rituals, like circumcision or only eating kosher foods.

          /Catholic
          //libertarian
      • swimmin00, on 05/15/2008, -2/+30This guy's no follower: http://bestpicever.com/pic-3091-Mr_Cool_Ice
      • cupid311, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2I agree, a tattoo should be something that is personal to you or unique. I hate the shaded star that everyone seems to get. Both of mine i designed myself.
    • listrophy, on 05/15/2008, -3/+222What about 1, 2, 3, or even 4 popped collars?
    • shutaro, on 05/15/2008, -3/+123That Chinese character doesn't mean what you think it does!
      • Shots, on 05/15/2008, -1/+15Just heard a funny story of an ABC (American born chinese) who thought it would be cool to have the word "Dragon" tattooed on this chest, but some how got the words "television" instead....
        • shutaro, on 05/15/2008, -1/+18Hey, TV's cool too... At least he didn't get "power piglet".
          • VinceNoir, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2Which is what most idiot Americans have tattooed on them in Chinese.
      • badjoke, on 05/15/2008, -0/+22I heard about a guy who purposely got the Chinese symbol for "Chinese symbol" tattooed on his arm. Awesome.
        • TSSaloic, on 05/15/2008, -0/+8Exception to the rule.
        • ElSnuggles, on 05/16/2008, -0/+2That's clever, but I'm not sure I'd want to permenantly tattoo my body with something poking fun at other people. Might not be funny when you're fifty.
      • res8qr6m, on 05/15/2008, -0/+7But what if I really, really love beef and broccoli?
      • OakRidger, on 05/16/2008, -0/+4Good thing mine is in Latin.
      • tech42er, on 05/16/2008, -0/+4This is why knowledge of Chinese is such an important skill. Give me a pic of someone with a Chinese tattoo and I'll tell you what it means.
    • 1033, on 05/15/2008, -9/+2unless you want to look like Picasso did you up in the next 10 years... thats what a temp tattoo is for. Theres only so may ways you can touch up a black blob
      • Gir53457, on 05/15/2008, -2/+6I have a picture of Hilary tattooed on my ass so I can keep in touch with what spews out of her mouth.
    • jeffinfremont, on 05/15/2008, -7/+113I'm looking forward to being the last person in Seattle with no tats or piercings. I'll walk down the street and all the people will look at me and go "whoa, check out that rebel".
      • Klisk, on 05/15/2008, -5/+11People with tattoos are still in the minority as far I've seen from both NJ and Seattle.
      • SwankRock3000, on 05/15/2008, -6/+18"...he looks really boring"
        • cJw314, on 05/15/2008, -3/+38..."he looks like he actually respects his body - that's crazy!"

          ...
          • diversionmary, on 05/15/2008, -4/+4"...I bet that guy is one of those preachy xXedgeXx ***** that won't shut up. Let's look busy so he doesn't talk to us."
          • bbardlbradd, on 05/15/2008, -6/+2xXedgeXx: "What the *****, why aren't you answering me? TURN AROUND AND LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME IN THE FACE YOU ***** PUSSY, because I just asked you a questions... oic how it is"

            *xXedgeXx punches xXxTat'edxXx in the face for lack of respect and fear of someone that doesn't look like him*
    • m0zzie, on 05/15/2008, -6/+81wow, to say that people think it makes them rebellious/stand out is a pretty close minded and judgmental statement.. my brother has a tattoo on his chest where his heart is of someone that was extremely close to him, and i know for a fact that he doesn't show it off or be a dick about it. it's just a constant reminder, a personal thing.
      • chuckDontSurf, on 05/15/2008, -41/+14That's really gay.
        • VeritasAequitas, on 05/15/2008, -5/+23chuckDontSurf you're a juvenile. Go back to playing with your middle school friends and when you grow up come back. Thanks.
          • chuckDontSurf, on 05/15/2008, -20/+2Some people have no sense of humor.
          • chewbie, on 05/15/2008, -2/+9so much lack of a sense of humor actually, that *some* of them not only dugg you down but reported you for being offensive as well
          • bluto36, on 05/15/2008, -8/+4wow what a bunch of babys
        • rezonq3, on 05/15/2008, -3/+1Yeah actually I am really confused at how you think someone getting a tatoo for a good and understandable reason is homosexual in nature...

          Are we to assume that if you do something that is right by you and for your own reasons, you are a *****? This just doesn't make sense...
      • GJBlizzard, on 05/15/2008, -3/+48Yeah well your brother is just doing it so you can then post about it on Digg and seem cool and then he gets that coolness/rebelliousness through your proxy.

        I don't think I need to label this as sarcasm but I'm going to anyways just to be on the safe side.
      • lysdexic, on 05/15/2008, -3/+25Yeah, that's a pretty broad generalization there. Believe it or not, KidNarcissa, some of us get tattoos for ourselves. We don't get them to impress anyone.

        As such, I prefer to keep mine covered when I can, and I don't like talking about them when people do see them. They're personal. It's none of their business why I have them or what they mean.

        • SpectralSounds, on 05/15/2008, -16/+5So, you stand in the mirror and look at yourself a lot then? Big surprise.
          • lysdexic, on 05/15/2008, -2/+4Well, of course. Everyone knows people with tattoos are completely vain and one dimensional, and we all fit perfectly in the nice little boxes people like you put us into.
          • KingBabi, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2Get over yourself, man.
          • SpectralSounds, on 05/15/2008, -7/+3@lysdexic.

            You yourself said they were very personal and that you don't show or talk about them with anybody. So, then I assume you look at yourself then correct? They are to be looked at. If you or nobody else is going to look at them, then what is the ***** point of even having them?

            You want to act like you are all ***** deep, because somebody drew on you. Har. I know I'm getting dugg down and this post will get dugg down as well, but please don't act like like you got the tattoo for yourself. You got it so that you could be a moving billboard. It's a conversation piece. You just pretend it's not, and that sir is why you are vain.
          • snoox, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1go try and talk to the next tattoo'd person you see about their tattos and see how wrong you are, unless it's a hipster girl and her butterfly tatt, in which case she might go on about..plus SCORE you're talking to a girl, hopefully cute
        • bluto36, on 05/15/2008, -9/+6"Believe it or not, KidNarcissa, some of us get tattoos for ourselves. We don't get them to impress anyone."

          what a load of crap
      • ngmcs8203, on 05/15/2008, -16/+6Your brother has a "tribal" heart tattoo? That's pretty gay, no matter how close the person is. The OP said tribal tattoos, not tattoos in general.
        • GJBlizzard, on 05/15/2008, -2/+9Did you just take random words out of all the comments?

          He said "my brother has a tattoo on his chest where his heart is of someone that was extremely close to him."

          Read it carefully because it doesn't read: tribal heart tattoo.

          And the OP said "tribal tattoos or any tattoos for that matter," which does read: tattoos in general.
        • yohnstoppable, on 05/15/2008, -4/+2He was responding to someone hating on tribal tattoes, saying it was close minded. How would his brother's tattoo be relevant if it isn't a trendy tribal tattoo?

          Although I agree he was a dick about it.
      • scoetrain, on 05/15/2008, -8/+4He should just put a picture in his wallet.
    • jggr, on 05/15/2008, -8/+57So, you're suggesting that instead of following someone else's view of cool, we follow yours? Do you see the problem here? Or should I draw you a picture?
      • Nekronaut, on 05/15/2008, -3/+31You could then tattoo that picture on your body so everyone would know!
      • bluto36, on 05/15/2008, -4/+4make sure you tattoo that picture somewhere personnal so you will know it is for you and not anyone else. really heavy and deep man!
    • Mier, on 05/15/2008, -0/+35How about a 3g iPhone...would that make me cool? I promise not to put it on the table.
    • craigtmackenzie, on 05/15/2008, -12/+25@kidfinesse whoa. what a narrow minded ***** you are, people have tattoos for all number of reasons, not "just because". dick.
      • bluto36, on 05/15/2008, -8/+8no tattoos are always retarded no matter what... always

        well except actual tribal members

        /said as someone who got personal tattoos that i now look at and think what tard would do that to themselves?
        • bbardlbradd, on 05/15/2008, -0/+5Mmm, no. I don't like tats, don't have one, don't particularly want one, but so long as it's meaningful I don't see a problem. I know a guy that has a whole period of his life symbolized via random things all worked together as sleeves, and it's all custom, though he didn't do them himself, he sketched them all. It's a really neat idea, and to hear it explained is always interesting. He's not a show off either, which probably helps.
        • cupid311, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2Just because you were an idiot and didn't think about what you're putting on your body doesn't mean anyone else is. the 2 tattoos that i have I have wanted since childhood. I have had them for a while now and love them. I could care less if others like them or not. And i guarantee i will look at them and smile when i am 80. People like you are always retarded (and close minded) no matter what.... always.
        • bluto36, on 05/15/2008, -2/+2thanks i have seen the errors of my way. i now look at the tattoos i have that each took me months to draw up myself with much research on who would do the work, as awesome art work.

          sorry nope couldn't do it tats are dumb. if you need tattoos to make you feel good about yourself then you are the retard. i am keeping mine just to remind myself how much smarter i am now. i don't hide mine i want people to see and comment on how cool they are (and everyone thinks they are so cool) and then i tell them about how stupid tattoo's are. if you felt good about yourself, like i do now, you will also realize you don't need tattoos.

          /putting the soapbox away now
        • cupid311, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1@bluto36:
          That is the dumbest thing i have ever heard. Can you say "scream for attention". You are arrogant as hell man. Might as well cut your wrists and wear bandages around so people can comment on them. Then tell them that it isn't cool and they shouldn't do it. Hypocrite.....
    • GJBlizzard, on 05/15/2008, -3/+33It's a good thing my identity isn't contained in my tattoos then, because I would hate to be a "boring follower."

      I'm glad to see we're still making sweeping generalizations about huge groups of people.
      • SuperWinner, on 05/15/2008, -0/+5I agree thinking you have more self esteem simply because you have a tattoo is stupid, I derive all my self-esteem from being a fan of a particular sports team instead...
    • kaniz, on 05/15/2008, -4/+19Flip through say, *NSFW* modblog.bmezine.com *NSFW* some time. A number of the tattoo's on display there are real pieces of art and are not done simply for the matter of being 'cool' or 'rebellious'.

      Yeah, there are some people who do get them to 'act out' or 'get attention', but for many Tattoo's they are simply art. When it comes to more intense body modification, there is a certain element of ritual and ownership o the body and its done for more personal reasons then "Hey, look at me and how big I can stretch my lip!"

      (note: I am tattoo, piercing and body mod free, but I do appreciate the art that gets put into quality work)
      • eggsovereasy, on 05/15/2008, -5/+4No... it really is "look at me and how big I can stretch my lip!'
    • saturnx8, on 05/15/2008, -6/+8and fat computer dorks who talk about work all the time, incessant droning about legalizing weed, and obama supporters should be on the list too. As too tattoos, you tell a Maori tribesman or a Samoan or any of those tribes that use tattoos as a spiritual right of passage.
      • bluto36, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2ill do that if you tell the fat computer dork that warcraft is dumb, tell the weed jockey he should go to jail and tell the Obama supporter that Obama is not the Messiah. i ll take the Samoan any day.
    • BohicaTwentyTwo, on 05/15/2008, -1/+36So my wife's friend tells her she wants a tatto. My wife asks her what kind of tattoo and she replies, "I want a tramp stamp."
      Yeah.
      • SuperWinner, on 05/15/2008, -0/+7I'll take herpes for $500 Alex.
      • BabyWookie, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1Well, they do help you with your aim when you pull out.
    • MindTrigger, on 05/15/2008, -4/+10I've stayed away from tats for this reason. I can understand people who truly enjoy body-art, or when the image has special meaning to them, but most tats out there today are "Hey, Look at Me (please)" signs. Tribal arm bands are just friggin' hilarious on most people.
    • sw33tsarin, on 05/15/2008, -4/+13That's an extremely ignorant thing to say. I have two half sleeves and my entire back is covered but you cannot see any of my tattoos when I have a Tshirt on. All of my tattoos have deep meaning for me and I didn't get them just to look cool or to be badass like most of the "frat boy bros" you see running around with ridiculous faux tribal tattoos.
      • BECoole, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1Yes, those tattoos are so intellectual. Like a Mexican gangster.
    • shauncorleone, on 05/15/2008, -3/+8Fortunately, many people who have tattoos get them not so they can "look cool", but rather do it independent of what anyone thinks about them. What a concept!
    • Chompy, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2TLDR: no consumer product will make you cool.
    • haunt, on 05/15/2008, -3/+1comment buried for being half accurate but then losing total foundation for debate. yes tattoos are more common than not now, but hell no you're not cooler than everyone else just because you never figured out what you wanted to get.
    • Synyk, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3The thing about this article is that it's precise about the various subjects. Saying all tattoo wearers are boring sheep is just ***** dumb. Alot do it for personnal reasons.
    • kenedamick, on 05/15/2008, -4/+9Let me get this straight - having ANY tattoo makes you a follower? What about simply liking body art?

      You're a dumb *****, dude.
    • trademaak, on 05/15/2008, -5/+1Actually you are right. Tattoos have become almost mainstream. Every second person has at least one. About the bluetooth headset - im my opinion it is kind'a cool, because it looks a little futuristic and I personally favour futuristic styled accessories, however it also looks pretty heavy and not refined enough.
    • HelloNavi, on 05/15/2008, -0/+13HAH! You're just as guilty dude. Caring about people thinking your a follower is just as bad as caring about people thinking you're not. Honestly, who gives a *****? Just be you. You wanna get a tattoo? GET A ***** TATTOO. You want an iPhone, get a god damned iPhone. If you spend so much time caring about what other people think of you you'll never be happy.
    • ryanhayn, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3unless you have a tattoo that says "tattoo"...then you're cool. I'm getting a "tattoo" tattoo.
    • Nerolus, on 05/15/2008, -2/+2I don't have tattoos, but I think tattoos that you've drawn and put the effort into YOURSELF are totally fine. It doesn't have to be a symbol of "cool", it's self expression. I agree that the myspace guys/gals that take 10 pictures of the same tattoo in different poses, are out for attention. But it doesn't always mean that anyone with a tattoo is out for attention, it can be a personal reminder, for instance.

      Compare tattoo's to writing songs. It's usually something someone poured their heart and soul into, to express feelings, events, whatever. I think that there is a difference somewhere in there. I'm not sure weather to call it "tattoos and body art"...

      Think of it this way. Have you ever seen Chris Rock preform his "Black People vs. *****" bit?
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpUSElgJcyI
    • SuperWinner, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3Oh crap, here comes the new comments system..

      Wonderful, it scroll around all by itself, this is fantastic! /s
    • Chronoped, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3... I just want a tattoo because I think it would look cool? Is that bad? I'm not really taking into account what other people are doing or thinking, I just want some tattoos... Does that mean having beautiful body art is always based around an obsession of others?
      • Nerolus, on 05/15/2008, -0/+5Tattoo's from the poster rack in the tattoo shop = ***** stupid.
    • alpinweiss88, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3You are 100% right. I have a tattoo, and I got it for myself, years ago before it was mainstream. I didn't get it to look cool. It took me a long time to find the right person to do it, and I couldn't be happier with it. Those that do get one just to be cool are f'n morons. All those dopes did was put money in the pockets of bad tattoo shops. They're forever kids, enjoy your tribal armband or your name in "bad ass" lettering or your chinese symbols for "power", "love", or "I am a stupid American". Most tattoo shops are to tattooing what OCC is to motorcycles - overpriced, over-hyped pieces of bragging-***** that will be embarassing in 5 years.
    • Hangly, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2#11. Snarky top ten lists.

      Why people think it makes them cool:
      Hey, I just made fun of a bunch of people, that makes me cool by comparison!

      Why they aren't:
      Do you seriously have nothing better to do? Oh that's right, top ten lists and being a bitter ***** will make you popular with other undersocialized bitter assholes and propel you to the front page of digg so you can get more traffic to your banner ads. Financial independence here I come!
      • Volatile, on 05/15/2008, -1/+1Maybe it's just funny. You're seem to be a bit bitter at the digg community yourself.
    • McDeath, on 05/15/2008, -2/+1Hey I like tramp stamps.
      It pretty much tells you which chicks are an easy *****!!!
    • treecha02, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2People get tattoos for other reasons than looking cool or being a non conformist. To lump every tattooed person into that category is a little insulting. I have four tattoos and I didn't get any of them with the intention of being unique or non conformist. I got them because they mean enough to me for me to want them forever and I like the way they look.
    • liquisoft, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1I don't think _any_ tattoo is uncool. Mostly it's just the types of tattoos people tend to get. How many dragons or barbed wire tattoos does a person need to be cool? :-P
    • Calcularius, on 05/15/2008, -2/+40. Blog

      WHY YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL: Listen World! I've got something to say. I can put my thoughts out there for the masses at the speed of light. My wit and sarcasm will enlighten the world and all it takes is a few paragraphs with some funny borrowed images!

      WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: You're a squeaking speck of malcontent with the longevity of a fart smell. Nothing you've said is original or meaningful and comes from a personality that only gets satisfaction by putting down others. Most people take pleasure when a douche like you suffers frustration and angst, so keep it up!
    • madm0nk, on 05/16/2008, -0/+2It's ignorant close-minded comments like this that have kept me away from digg lately.
    • chaoticedge, on 05/16/2008, -0/+2"All generalizations are false, including this one." To claim that tattoos and piercings are merely an act of rebellion, and reduce the wearer to the status of 'follower' is shameful.

      I have four tattoos, only one of which is visible, and I assure you that the ink on my body is no act of rebellion, nor is it a social marker. It is a testament to my father's near-death, my heritage, my views on what makes life worthwhile, and a name that has come to mean more to me than anyone could guess.

      But no, I'm just a follower, with no original thoughts of my own, and no concept of what it is to be "cool"
  • yorkhock, on 05/15/2008, -23/+12DId we forget Mandals?
    • schuder, on 05/15/2008, -2/+13Socks and mandals.
    • melonhedd, on 05/15/2008, -5/+7That's not a word.
    • Chompy, on 05/15/2008, -0/+9I wear sandals, but not because I want to appear cool. Hell, I know they look goofy. I wear them because I live in the frigging desert, and they're comfortable. I couldn't care less about whether or not other people are judging me based on my footwear.
      • shutaro, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2Hear, hear! You are not your sandals!
    • CrackIsWack, on 05/16/2008, -0/+2You forgot Poland.
  • mrbubby, on 05/15/2008, -41/+404Having a big penis. Right? Who's with me? Anyone?
    • syphern, on 05/15/2008, -32/+2No you dont
    • CCB0x45, on 05/15/2008, -2/+59No one got what you meant, but I thought it was funny.
      • Synyk, on 05/15/2008, -1/+20did you have to do schematics?? because the joke is REALLY complex I can't crack it
      • Volatile, on 05/15/2008, -6/+1Uhh...not really that complex of a joke. :P
      • CCB0x45, on 05/16/2008, -0/+2haha to be fair, when I commented here he had -11 diggs, and it went up to 293 which makes me look like a moron.
    • unionaire, on 05/15/2008, -8/+2i took a while to understand what you're saying, except i don't think many treat their penis as an "item"...
      • SvenGeiss, on 05/15/2008, -0/+12I do... i call him.. cliff
        • Gryphon09, on 05/15/2008, -2/+1I call mine THE HUMMINGBIRD!
        • Nescirian, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3I call mine diabeetus.
          Because I tell all the girls they're going to get it, but in the end only the fat ones do :(
    • seamushc, on 05/15/2008, -2/+1Seemed simple enough to me. OP is saying that having a big penis does not in fact make you cooler. Whats the problem?
    • MixMasterK, on 05/16/2008, -3/+2i actually think having a big penis would make you hotter, rather than cooler...
  • bennylava123, on 05/15/2008, -19/+687You forgot crocs
    • TomK88, on 05/15/2008, -37/+24Who wears Crocs to be cool? They are just comfortable, something to wear around the house.
      • apoupada, on 05/15/2008, -8/+38They shouldn't be worn period!!!!
      • CCB0x45, on 05/15/2008, -4/+29Yea cause you you really need rubber non slip shoes around the house... they definitely not cool to wear around the house.
        • chuckDontSurf, on 05/15/2008, -12/+9Unless you have hard wood floors, which kill your feet if you walk barefoot around on them enough. Crocs are perfect for this. Easily to slip on and off.
          • SpectralSounds, on 05/15/2008, -1/+16I have all hardwood floors and I get around just fine without crocs.
          • bananaspiders, on 05/15/2008, -9/+3oh you suck
          • MikeSD34, on 05/15/2008, -2/+14Have you tried socks? I find they work quite well.
          • matthewf01, on 05/15/2008, -0/+11slippers.
          • bluto36, on 05/15/2008, -0/+12i have hard wood all the time and it has never hurt my feet
          • matthewf01, on 05/15/2008, -1/+1bluto, hard wood could hurt feet if youre into that kinda thing...
          • gh0st3000, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1whoa there, we're talking about floors here, take the asian porn fetishes outside.
          • Punkazz189, on 05/15/2008, -0/+0I can see where crocs would be useful for hardwood floors.
            This scenario only works out when you replace "hardwood" with "broken glass"
      • bananaspiders, on 05/15/2008, -8/+5oh you suck
      • tyywebb, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2Yeah and seriously, I wear my velcro laced shoes because they're convenient, not cause they're cool!
      • usafdave, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2Sure... if they stayed the ***** INSIDE your house and away from public.
      • zimmbear, on 05/16/2008, -0/+12 words: Croc Butter
    • syphern, on 05/15/2008, -5/+23or during surgery when you have to stand for 6 hours straight
    • kirkis, on 05/15/2008, -3/+18they make your feet smell horrible
      • qwertydvorak, on 05/15/2008, -2/+20i think your feet are making the crocs smell horrible.
      • ChromaVita, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2They make your feet look horrible.
    • Shots, on 05/15/2008, -1/+35I pity the person who thinks that wearing Crocs makes them cool....
    • Zippo, on 05/15/2008, -4/+3I'd love to have a pair of crocks... for comfort and all that... but damned if I'm paying $30 for foam poured into a mold.
    • j3oomerang, on 05/15/2008, -2/+2crocs are definatley gay, the original style atleast. I couldnt pass up the flip flops though, extremely comfortable.
    • ezran, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2You forgot FAKE LV bags
    • stalman, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3There's no excuse for these atrocities. I don't care if they're comfortable, so are millions of other shoes that don't make you look like my friends mom.
    • Synyk, on 05/15/2008, -4/+6This is ***** dumb. Everyone knows crocs are ugly, those who wear em do it because they're comfortable, not to look cool. Even if they were trying to look cool, what the ***** do you think you're trying to do by posting here? Same thing as them...trying to look cool.
    • huertanix, on 05/15/2008, -7/+2My crocs are comfortable and have yet to make my feet smell.
    • telnet, on 05/15/2008, -2/+10learn something you croc wearing morons: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=fa ...

      maddox>crocs
      • heypetray, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1Beat me to it!

        BTW, you can get some real speed on long boards. I've biffed a couple times on those, and the pain is fairly comparable to street skating (Depending on how fast you're going)
    • MSstar, on 05/15/2008, -1/+213 crocs lover dugg you down
    • PabloIV, on 05/15/2008, -1/+1I'm ashamed of wearing them but I do none the less. It's really hard to put insoles in flip flops.
    • BuzzedMonkey, on 05/15/2008, -4/+1Have you ever worn crocs? They are extremely comfortable and very useful. I work on the water all summer and they float, they don't absorb water, and they are comfortable.
    • Estaris, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2The ugliest shoe ever invented.
      I had no idea what they were until someone I knew pointed them out that they bought a dood-dad to clip to the shoe. I was very confused as they were the ugliest rubber shoe slipper shoe with a bunch of holes in them... hum coooool...
      If you are toting on about the functionality of it for a water environment I can see how it could be functional, at best.
      If you are toting on about how it is made to form your foot... there are few shoes/sandals out there that do that and do not look like life-like Barbie doll shoes. :x
    • coldeve, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1http://media.tumblr.com/4oGr72N6n91qgzxfvEvP8AWq_4 ...

      This store admits its ulgy
    • mllawso, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1Harley Davidson clothing/accessories.
  • sjbdallas, on 05/15/2008, -94/+235You really had me until Guitar Hero.
    • mywhitenoise, on 05/15/2008, -6/+130Offended? I have and love Rock Band, but there's no doubt in my mind that I probably look like a douche bag while playing on a toy Strat instead of the Tele that's been pushed to the corner of my room.
      • asylumua, on 05/15/2008, -40/+12Who THE ***** says Strat and Tele?
        • mywhitenoise, on 05/15/2008, -1/+40Everyone who owns those guitars? I RARELY ever hear people call them "Stratocaster" or "Telecaster".
        • Klisk, on 05/15/2008, -0/+36Pretty much everyone with minimal guitar knowledge?
        • bagelmaster, on 05/15/2008, -20/+5I dugg you up, because no matter how much they defend it, it's still guitar player jargon and confusing/annoying to everyone else.
          • mywhitenoise, on 05/15/2008, -0/+12You think that's confusing? Haha
            That would be like a gamer owning an Xbox 360, but not knowing what a 360 is.
          • fictionalOne, on 05/15/2008, -8/+1Don't have an xbox, but I can pull a 360 flip down a set of 5 stairs.
          • Pulch, on 05/15/2008, -0/+14Confusing jargon would be if he said that he has a pre-CBS strat lying around, on which he needs to loosen the truss rod because he's getting a buzz on the 3rd fret of the high E.
        • BobbyMC, on 07/21/2008, -4/+5If you can't tell what a Strat is you need to make things easier on your family and go kill yourself.
        • jankind, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3I have had both and never referred to them as Stratocaster or Telecaster. EVERYONE calls them Strats and Teles. Well, everyone who plays guitar on guitars and not on video games.
      • Impeller, on 05/15/2008, -0/+14Real-Guitar players...
    • burrgrinder, on 05/15/2008, -2/+77Hey, Guitar Hero is a great game that's tremendous fun, but admit it, you will never look cool holding a dumbed down fisher-price guitar and watching a TV screen.
      • Gir53457, on 05/15/2008, -2/+7Sorry, what? I wasn't paying attention, I'm having too much fun.
      • SuperWinner, on 05/15/2008, -1/+4Playing the drums in Rock Band is actually pretty close to playing real drums...
      • Textzilla, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2Unlike the hip individuals on the Internet, I don't strive to look cool in every aspect of my life. Actually I don't strive to look cool in any aspect of my life.
        • IKORKYI, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1well you appear to be finding success in your quest
    • IKORKYI, on 05/15/2008, -14/+20i haven't once met a person who isnt familiar with the game that doesnt react with amazement when they see someone being succesful on expert
      • synyster, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4to them,they can't even differentiate easy and expert on guitar hero
      • RustyJ, on 05/15/2008, -3/+11To the latter part of that statement, Hi, nice to meet you. I don't care if you can play a dragonforce song on expert. Honestly.
      • oldhick, on 05/15/2008, -8/+8Hello. Nice to meet you. I'm familiar with the game and not amazed at all. Why be "virtually" good at something, when you could be good at the real thing. See I love playing guitar hero with friends who are goofing around. But as a guitar player, its really stupid to watch people work and practice so hard to be good at a game, when they could play the real thing.
        Enjoy it, have fun with it, don't practice it and try to impress people with it. Thats just ridiculous.
        • Gir53457, on 05/15/2008, -2/+4Because playing guitar Hero is fun and Learning to play Guitar takes years of practice?
          • oldhick, on 05/15/2008, -1/+5Yeah, I mentioned that in my comment. See I was pointing out that if you "practice" your ass off to get good at the EXPERT level of Guitar Hero, you could just practice to be alright at the guitar... Sorry if I wasn't clear on that.
        • bobartig, on 05/15/2008, -3/+5This is because you're not a gamer. You might dabble casually in video games, but to the hardcore gamer, practicing, grinding, and becoming an expert at a particular game is nothing new, we've been doing it for decades since we were beating Contra on one man, or getting the high score on Pac Man every time we visited the arcade. We master our hobbies and past-times, and, yes, they have no practical applications. Deal with it.
          • oldhick, on 05/15/2008, -2/+5Yeah, I get it. And in "games" you typically are doing things you can't do in reality. Like ***** hookers then kill them for the money or pop the heads of aliens at 200 yards.
            Practicing to be really good a guitar hero is stupid because you CAN play guitar in real life with practice.
      • atchon, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2Challenging yourself to be good at the game is what some people find fun. Why does anyone practice to be good at any game, video game or sport. Also what makes guitar any less of a game? I am guessing you play for the joy, and haven't made any money off of playing it. So why not do something useful, and do something that makes money or helps out others? Being bitter about what other people find fun is dumb since it is a personal thing.

        I am a guitar player, and enjoy rockband. I do it for fun though.
      • BobbyMC, on 07/21/2008, -1/+2There is a lesson here, and its that rather than arguing over two things that aren't inherently comparable, look to the fact that if someone developed a game that taught guitar in the same way someone learns Guitar Hero, it would probably be pretty ***** epic. GH is played because the person is looking at 5 buttons max, and the game starts you out with 3 and works up to five.

        What we need is a program that uses a limited number of frets/strings at the lower level. You pluck around on a few with the beat at first, and as you get better the complexity is slowly tweaked to where you have more to do and required to move around more to do it. Do that and you have something that might actually distract those kids who are too good at GH already.
        • Lith25, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1We have something like that...it's called a book. Grab a guitar, grab a book, sit down, and learn.
        • IKORKYI, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1@NenDaiKi - what you are explaining is like putting training wheels on a ferrari, there's no reason to further simplify the guitar
    • apackofmonkeys, on 05/15/2008, -7/+38I harbor no delusions about being cool while playing Guitar Hero. But Guitar Hero itself IS cool.
      • tyywebb, on 05/15/2008, -1/+5Seriously who over the age of ten thinks they look cool playing guitar hero?
        • Stupidumb, on 05/15/2008, -4/+3Do you think you look cool commenting on Digg?
      • inditech, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1I agree - I love guitar hero. Have tried and tried to play the real thing and I suck. It basically makes me smile after a ***** day at work - anything wrong with that? An no, I don't think I look cool, but it does make me feel happy!.
    • adderx99, on 05/15/2008, -9/+4FTA -'I am going to take a pee inside the nearest PS3." lets just hope he truns it off 1st. they have seen everything at the ER, but really?
    • Primatelord, on 05/15/2008, -3/+41That's the key: we know we don't look cool. The idea of the article is that it's stuff you think make you look cool but actually don't. I feel sad for anyone who genuinely thinks have that rock star aura when shredding on a string-less guitar.
      We know we look retarded, but we don't care.
    • Morality, on 05/15/2008, -3/+8Primatelord is correct. I get pussy with my yamaha. I get drunk and hang with my mates on rock band.

      And no I can't bloody afford to buy the correct distortion, a better amp for my dean, a mic stand and mic, a new snare cover and a bloody ***** bass guitar just to play welcome home. So yeah, actually GH/RB is fine.
    • xbrok3nxfairyx, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3Rockvband is pretty fun, but when you aren't the one playing it anymore it can get irritationg. My neighbors in the dorm next to mt are constantly playing it and it does tend to get on peoples nerves. Say it aint so can only be listened to off key so many times before you have to steal your neighbors mic for sanity.
    • Stupidumb, on 05/15/2008, -0/+19Why do people need to defend themselves when playing Guitar Hero/Rock Band. Nobody actually thinks that they will become slash. Only non=gamers who carry some kind of grudge assume such things.
      "You retard, you think playing StarCraft will get you into the space marine corp?! That DOESN'T EVEN EXIST"
      • CrackIsWack, on 05/16/2008, -0/+3I draw the line at even the possibility of insulting Starcraft.
    • Spoomeister, on 05/15/2008, -1/+5Actually, there should have been a 2a: People who think playing the real guitar makes them cooler than GH/RB players, when they can't even play well enough to perform at their local bar. Especially if they point out that they can play the real guitar to GH/RB players.
    • yohnstoppable, on 05/15/2008, -1/+9It isn't about being cool. it is about having fun

      http://xkcd.com/359/
    • edwartica, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3I made a comment to my then girlfriend a few months back, that I wish Guitar hero was a stand alone game. I don't do console gaming. She made the point that - maybe I should just learn how to play the guitar.
      • Textzilla, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2Apparently you've never noticed that Guitar Hero III is out for PC.
        • edwartica, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1It is?!?!?!?! OH *****! I'm totally running down to the software store like NOW!
    • Refridgeron, on 05/15/2008, -2/+1That's not true... there is one person that makes guitar hero look cool... http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ig6ClFm_yhM&feature= ...
      • Nappuccino, on 05/15/2008, -0/+0I don't know.... I guess this is a step above air guitar.
    • ninja0, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2Agreed. We have a doorway near our xbox which has a direct view of a window... I always close the door though so people on the sidewalk cant see me playin my fisher price. I think its fun and cool amongst my friends and I who play it, but I don't think it makes me cool....
      I don't agree with it being on the list. Same with longboards. I simply want one so it makes my 30 minute walk from my bus stop a little faster. I don't think I'm "just a laid back dude who likes to cruise the streets and board walks but still has the credibility shared by those who ride smaller, more dangerous boards." Thats just stupid. I honestly think this guy doesn't really know what he's talking about on some of these...
  • nancyargent, on 05/15/2008, -34/+24I second crocs
    • McDiggity, on 05/15/2008, -0/+10I think you might be missing the concept of digg...if you 2nd the idea, just hit the thumbs up button next to the post :)
      /sarcasm
    • SuperWinner, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3I second your concept of digg.
  • sdsu, on 05/15/2008, -10/+37Are double bicycles tricked out bicycles? Because who doesn't love a good double bicycle ride?
    • ElAssoWipo, on 05/15/2008, -2/+38People who don't have friends.
      • Nekronaut, on 05/15/2008, -4/+6I just shot water out of my nose when i read your comment. Brilliantly obvious.
    • umdigger, on 05/15/2008, -0/+7Double as in tandem? or doub as in having someone else ride on the handle bars? I'm all for the second, especially if you have been drinking.
    • MattB123, on 05/15/2008, -1/+10Do you mean a tandem?
    • dougmc, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4Tandems? No, they aren't tricked out -- they're practical and sold at the bike shop.

      They probably don't make you cool, but then again you probably didn't think they made you cool, so they don't belong on this list.
    • gwaggy12, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2That's what she said.
    • Unclekoolaid, on 05/15/2008, -0/+6What about giant 1920's style with a huge front wheel?
      • MixMasterK, on 05/16/2008, -0/+2that, in fact, does make you cool.
  • koalaznbear, on 05/15/2008, -13/+458They nailed the PT Cruiser dead on. "Ever wonder what a gay transformer would turn into?" lol
    • SuperVepr308, on 05/15/2008, -2/+46Damn the PT Crusier. I hate those ***** things.
      • burnin8r28, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1i yelled at a guy for driving a pt loser once. he rolled down the window and yes he had a castro hat. true story
    • BohicaTwentyTwo, on 05/15/2008, -3/+27Hey, my grandparents drive a PT Cruiser. Wait a second, well, actually I think that says a lot.
    • jbellanca, on 05/15/2008, -4/+23Hey, I'm gay and I hate it too. And the only car worse than it - the Chevy HHR.
      • FlyingSpaghetti, on 05/15/2008, -7/+18The only thing worse than a PT Cruiser and Chevy HHR is being gay.

        I joke, I joke. Relax.
        • bluto36, on 05/15/2008, -1/+10hey this is Digg you can't even say gay... oh dammit

          i have reported myself
        • Synyk, on 05/15/2008, -5/+4lol you can't end an offensive joke with "I'm kidding" to save your ass, that's just dumb
    • yohnstoppable, on 05/15/2008, -1/+9The worst is the convertible PT Cruiser. That car is gayer than Richard Simmons cornholling Christopher Lowell while listening to Cher
    • KillerLettuce, on 05/15/2008, -0/+7And to think, there are digg users right now that own PT Cruisers now hoping no one will find out.
    • 13B1303, on 05/15/2008, -0/+5http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/5237/n538001423 ...
      For the record... the driver is not gay. He is gonna kill me when I send him this link though ahhahahahha!
      • yourmightyruler, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1Is that a turbocharged PT? Jesus Christ. What a waste of money.
        That intercooler in the bumper is huge though. If that intercooler was on any other car, I would be impressed.
    • Yarmin3, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4When did anyone ever think owning a PT Cruiser was cool?
    • Calcularius, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1Most of the gay people I know are big buff dudes that work out all the time.
    • KillerSe7en, on 05/15/2008, -2/+2Ok, I'll go on record and say that I own a PT Cruiser and tell you EXACTLY why it is a cool car.

      Cops around here don't pull over old people for anything and if there is any indicator of an old person driving, it's seeing a gay transformer on the road.

      As a self-proclaimed ***** driver.... haven't been pulled over since I got the car four years ago.

      But, I'll admit PT Cruiser Convertibles look like Liberace's picnic basket
      • ogre2112, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1Every time I see one I laugh so hard I pee a little.
    • TheGooseyOne, on 05/16/2008, -1/+2I'll admit I drive a cruiser too. Its what no one was driving in my family when I got a license so that's what I drive. But, not for ONE single second did I think I was cool driving in it. I hate how it looks. I hate its gay design. I don't know anyone who thinks they are cool or who would think they were cool if they were driving one. So, as far as I'm concerned, it shouldn't be on the list. Pick harder targets, no strawman IMO
    • MacintoshMan, on 05/16/2008, -1/+1my friend inherited one. we call it the PT-LOOSER
  • jazzgator, on 05/15/2008, -9/+125People also think pants make them look cool, but this is false.
    • allthosemoments, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3Hell yeah, wearing pants is so different and unique.
    • Mier, on 05/15/2008, -4/+9Pants are not optional. No one wants to see your scrawny pale legs
    • alittleroy101, on 05/15/2008, -2/+4Hey Krusty, don't you hate pants?
    • The4thBranch, on 05/15/2008, -10/+1Spoken like a true flaming homosexual... you jazz gobbler you.
      • diversionmary, on 05/15/2008, -3/+3BEEG AMERICAN TEETEES right cousin? We speak great English since arrive America!
        Let's go bowling and find girl to gobble jazz!
        • Synyk, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2I think I understood your joke...
          but I'm not sure.
    • sexyfridge, on 05/15/2008, -3/+1You must own a PT Cruiser.
    • ItsMyWii, on 05/15/2008, -9/+3I see what you did there...
    • coldeve, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1Some guys also think showing off their underpants by wearing their pants so low (below their ass) and ironicly held in place with a belt is cool.
  • valis, on 05/15/2008, -20/+38211. Sarcastic and judgmental blogs/bloggers - the new old school cool is getting old.
    • syphern, on 05/15/2008, -15/+5MADDOX!!!
      • bluntphallus, on 05/15/2008, -0/+0Maddox isn't a blogger, he's a ***** deity.

        Who happens to be on hiatus. Live with it.
    • suzywang3000, on 05/15/2008, -5/+1sarc?
    • orblivion, on 05/15/2008, -3/+11that think they can keep up with Cracked.com
    • sltandrew, on 05/15/2008, -2/+32Why You Think You're Cool: Because you think writing a sarcastic blog that judges people will make you feel better.
      Why You're Not Cool: Because people reading your blog feel nothing but shame because they do many of the things on your list. They will take that shame and put it on others by calling out how uncool their belt buckle is which only makes their friends feel crappy.

      How about "10 Things you think aren't cool that actually are?" Like hanging with your kid sister.
    • SasquatchBill, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4Can I digg you thrice?
    • ats314, on 05/15/2008, -0/+6I can't keep up with cool anymore. I mean, I gave up trying to be cool long ago, but I at least knew what was cool. I could recognize cool from a close enough distance (say 30 yards or less). But now, if cool came up and slapped me in the face and said "Sup bitch, I'm cool.", I'd be like "I'm sorry, have we met?"
    • MaxMWood, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1Whaaaaat. You summed my blog up in two words.
    • davidrools, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1Or good blog ideas poorly executed. Seriously did he get "ironic" confused with "iconic?" And last time I checked the iPhone's EDGE speed really can't be considered "high-speed." My old 56k modem performed better. Otherwise all the items are pretty much on point.
    • MasterGrief, on 05/16/2008, -1/+3I agree entirely. This guy writes like a crappy George Carlin.
  • ljsmithx, on 05/15/2008, -40/+410 Items You Think Make You're Cool, But Don’t
  • scottnash, on 05/15/2008, -59/+451Shouldn't cigarettes be on that list somewhere?
    • haylel, on 05/15/2008, -35/+49No. Cigarettes make you cool.
      • halleyscomet, on 05/15/2008, -19/+12No, they make you taste like an ash tray.
      • mobislink, on 05/15/2008, -13/+26Cigarettes make you die
        • haylel, on 05/15/2008, -5/+37Everything makes you die.
        • allthosemoments, on 05/15/2008, -14/+8That is a lie propagated by the government.
      • ODSTKuk, on 05/16/2008, -0/+3There is nothing cooler than smoking 3 packs of cigarettes before going into chemo.
    • Subhazard, on 05/15/2008, -30/+63No, ciggies are cool, there's no denying it. I'm sorry if you get cancer, but they -do- make you look cool.
      • Aensland, on 05/15/2008, -17/+26Not really. If you hang out with a mostly non-smoking crowd, cigs make you look like the uncaring douche who stinks up the air for everyone else.
        • Morality, on 05/15/2008, -5/+8I can't wait for the polarity flip and non smokers look like douches for getting onto us.
        • awtripp, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2check out Bill Hick's rant on non-smokers.
      • bluto36, on 05/15/2008, -6/+7a big hole in your neck is the coolest
      • lougoose, on 05/16/2008, -3/+3No, they make you look like a retard trying to kill yourself. And they make everyone around you angry because they smell just from walking by you and your disgusting habit that is not only killing you, but also those around you.
        • anononon, on 05/16/2008, -0/+2Somebody call the WAAAAAAAAAAMBULANCE!
        • ODSTKuk, on 05/16/2008, -1/+2The sooner I die from smoking, the less ***** I have to listen to from non-smokers
    • surfacewound, on 05/15/2008, -7/+16Maybe 30 years ago, but not so much any more. I used to smoke until about 8 months ago; I actually always felt awkward smoking unless I was in my car or at home or something. For me it was mostly about having something to do/play around with while bored.

      These days smoking has become much more of a stigma than it is anything else.
    • Morality, on 05/15/2008, -10/+26No it shouldn't. Billions of dollars of revenue vs angry mothers and vegans.
      Even dying from cancer is cooler then dying from old age. Admit it, your just jealous of us.
      • mushroomsrmagic, on 05/15/2008, -3/+4Huh? I'm vegan and smoke cigarettes.
        • iRelinquish, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2and they environment loves you for it!
    • tyywebb, on 05/15/2008, -4/+17Nah, people might *start* smoking because they think it's cool but no one smokes on a regular basis for the "cool" factor.
    • veri745, on 05/15/2008, -5/+8People only think cigarettes make them look cool if they're 14 and aren't already addicted. I know no-one who smokes that still thinks they are cool.
    • prleet, on 05/15/2008, -4/+2Yes, cigarettes should be on the list..see below.
      http://www.freetaxdepot.com/images/ProductImages/1 ...
    • McDiggity, on 05/15/2008, -3/+14what about cigars
      • haylel, on 05/15/2008, -1/+5"It's like smoking 5 cigarettes at once!"
      • ExSlashdotter, on 05/16/2008, -0/+3just what i need, a middle-aged, overweight business man sucking on the wet end of a big brown dick. ~george carlin
    • UNDERSTAR, on 05/15/2008, -2/+7SMOKE!
  • rebump, on 05/15/2008, -4/+260One that still bugs me is the sideways turned baseball cap.
    • Spoomeister, on 05/15/2008, -1/+14"...as soon as you get older than 12, spin that ***** back around!" - George Carlin
    • dootisterhans, on 05/15/2008, -0/+14I like to keep the sun off of my ear
    • KillerLettuce, on 05/15/2008, -0/+6While it does make you not cool, it says your a douche bag even more.
    • 4degrees, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4I would have to say the slightly crooked baseball hat is a bit more irritating... :-P
    • LOCK3D, on 05/15/2008, -1/+5Flat brims on ball caps bother me. Price tags and stickers being left on bug the crap out of me too. I saw some guy the other day with the price tag sticking out of his Nike t-shirt. He left it there on purpose, I know because it flipped around and got partially stuck in his collar and he pulled it back out. Hi, I'm a douche that feels the need to advertise that I just bought these overpriced clothes or have simply never washed them.
    • TacticalPenguin, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3It's so they don't bump the brim when they go down on their buddies
    • lupuz2k, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1at least they are wearing them right on their head. over here in Germany the newest trend is to just "lay" them on the top of your head, not wearing them.
  • iNiz, on 05/15/2008, -52/+30211. Digg.com..............(i'm gonna get buried like a mofo)
    • gdehms, on 05/15/2008, -8/+31Because it's really not that funny.
    • syphern, on 05/15/2008, -9/+4lol like a mofo
    • RcHer, on 05/15/2008, -5/+34We never thought it made us cool.
    • kh99, on 05/15/2008, -6/+2312. Noting in your comment that your comment is going to get buried.
    • Vodd9, on 05/15/2008, -0/+10reverse psychology tells me to digg you up
    • iRelinquish, on 05/15/2008, -2/+3Ive tried explaining the concept of digg to my girlfriend, but she doesn't get it and just thinks i'm a nerd.. so i never talk about digg unless some one else brings it up
      • d0onut, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1It's not that complicated."It's a site that links you to news."
        • kingvik, on 05/16/2008, -1/+2It's much more then that.
        • iRelinquish, on 05/17/2008, -0/+1a site that links news to me, and i can comment on and people vote those comments up or down.
    • MuffinPatrol, on 05/16/2008, -1/+1I dugg you up but at least i didn't digg you up.
    • davidrools, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1like getting lots of diggs on a submission or a comment makes you think you're cool, but you're not...except for iNiz..that was pretty cool what you did there.
  • Obey666, on 05/15/2008, -16/+27Grrrr stupid filter at work won't let me see this article
    • ricperry1, on 05/15/2008, -36/+4So why did you comment? Buried as comment spam.
    • scottnash, on 05/15/2008, -2/+4710. iPhone
      9. Ironic Belt Buckles
      8. Blue Tooth Headset
      7. Quoting Austin Powers/Borat/Old School
      6. PT Cruiser
      5. Tricked Out Bicycles
      4. Fidel Castro Hats
      3. Guitar Hero
      2. Longboard Skateboards
      1.Funny Ringtones
    • web2pointYo, on 05/15/2008, -1/+9after reading it, i wish it had been filtered.
    • Morality, on 05/15/2008, -2/+2Well played web2pointYo, well played.
  • bag2p, on 05/15/2008, -13/+4hater.
  • FearFactory, on 05/15/2008, -23/+50111. Quoting Scarface and/or having Scarface posters all over your apartment
    12. Ghetto/Gangsta/Thug speak
    13. Wearing your baseball hat backwards or sideways
    14. Riced out Hondas
    15. Chrome spinning hubcabs
    16. Chrome breaklights
    • apackofmonkeys, on 05/15/2008, -2/+84"13. Wearing your baseball hat backwards or sideways"

      This. This, this, this. I can't say it enough. Backwards is just too 90s, but sidways makes you look like you're just too stupid to put on a hat.
      • buckbova, on 05/15/2008, -4/+34What about the flat bill thing? Please crease the bill on your cap. I just wanna punch those people in the face. What's wrong with you?!
        • apackofmonkeys, on 05/15/2008, -2/+9Yeah, the flat bill, and the hat itself is tilted way off. Do they need a user's manual?
        • munkyxtc, on 05/15/2008, -0/+25More than the flat bill is the leaving of tags and stickers on them, I just don't understand that one bit.
          • mlostracco, on 05/15/2008, -1/+9It was (and I'm not joking) originally because it made the hats look stolen, just as the baggy pants were rooted in the look of ill-fitting prison uniforms. Real classy like. Something to strive for.
          • LonesomeFighter, on 05/15/2008, -1/+9i heard having the pants sag below the ass originally came from prison to show you were available for butt sex. I dunno, one of my bosses told me that. I then proceeded to pull up my pants because it is an exit only.
        • Coffeedemon, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3Fool that might make the size sticker fall off or get bent. (apparently it is of utmost importance to keep all the original stickers on your hat).
        • AppleJacks364, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2Or worse yet the guys I like to call "Billas" i.e. the dumb ***** that think its cool to bend the bill up and put the hat on sideways while wearing a bandanna underneath. Also easily spot-able because all they wear is Fox, SRH and so on but don't even own a dirt bike...

          /rant
      • SmokeyTreats, on 05/15/2008, -0/+16I'm with you that sideways is crap but backwards is as old as baseball...
        • apackofmonkeys, on 05/15/2008, -4/+2I'd take the backwards-style over the sideways, but I don't personally know anybody who wears a backwards cap since like 1998. I think it'll be one of those things we'll look back on and sigh and say, "Oh, those old 90s styles!"
          • LonesomeFighter, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2you don't see backwards hats??? are you blind?
      • Punkazz189, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4Backwards hats can make you look like a middle school bully. Which is pretty bad ass.
    • Impeller, on 05/15/2008, -2/+5317. Guido look
    • petebot, on 05/15/2008, -5/+31Lemme guess, you've got a supercool mustang, and you're sick of all these riceburners and boys from the hood with their tricked-out rides?
    • bagelmaster, on 05/15/2008, -18/+13Oh god do I hate Gangsta speak. It's ALMOST acceptable when a truly uneducated person speaks that way, but when you grew up in suburbia, don't pull that ***** with me. I will probably ask you to your face "are you too ***** retarded to say "you" instead of "yo?"
      And Hondas (or really any brand of car) with large mufflers... don't even get me started ranting about those inbred rejects from hell. The government could start internment camps for those people tomorrow and I wouldn't give two *****.
      • buckbova, on 05/15/2008, -3/+11True dat!
      • petebot, on 05/15/2008, -3/+6I feel you, yo.
      • AppleJacks364, on 05/15/2008, -0/+5What about when you need that big ass pipe? Diesels need huge exhausts, cars with huge amounts of displacement or any car running a 56mm turbo or larger need them as well.
      • anatraj, on 05/15/2008, -1/+7Man, you are one angry *****. I'm going to guess you don't have many friends. Also, I'm not really sure why you're making a relation between "you" and "yo"?
      • bencefeher, on 05/16/2008, -0/+2I was going to digg you up until I got to the part about large mufflers. Some cars, trucks, and bikes need large exhaust for efficiency. Have you ever seen a race car of any type with 1" exhaust? Nope, and it's not because that driver/team wants to be a douche.
    • earlycj5, on 05/15/2008, -4/+18What are "breaklights"?
      • Impeller, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4Discolights...
      • Shots, on 05/15/2008, -0/+11Lights that people breakdance to?
      • culbeda, on 05/15/2008, -0/+11What the traffic patrolman does to your brakelights if you mouth off.
    • Scrappy1850, on 05/15/2008, -12/+717. Racisim
    • Tubilakken, on 05/15/2008, -3/+2718: sunglasses indoor
    • web2pointYo, on 05/15/2008, -1/+10have you been hanging around my apartments?
    • greeniemeani, on 05/15/2008, -3/+26The List was 10 Items That You Think Make You COOL, not black...
      • Nappuccino, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2You mustn't live in suburbia... black IS cool.

        Kind of.

        To some people.

        (not that there's anything wrong with black people)
      • aelias, on 05/16/2008, -0/+2I've seen white, male, middle-class suburb kids with all this *****. All of it.

        The black connotation actually didn't register till you said it. I don't see a lot of black guys rolling in tricked out Honda's at all, for that matter.
    • Morality, on 05/15/2008, -2/+8Are you stuck in 2001?
      • bobartig, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3No, but a lot of the urban/hiphop looking youth around Oakland, CA, definitely are. Of course, I don't point any of that out to them, because I like being free of bullet holes.
    • diggingaround, on 05/15/2008, -7/+217. Diamond (Zirconium, Glass) ear studs..
      18. Clark Gable mustache
      19. Bouncy-bouncy low rider car.
      20. Ultra-low ride off-road vehicle with 22" chrome wheels

      etc
      etc
      etc
    • badjoke, on 05/15/2008, -0/+13Let's add drinking Corona, wearing Corona shirts, hats, Corona posters, etc. We get it, you just turned 21 and LOVE beer.
      • Punkazz189, on 05/15/2008, -1/+4Too bad Corona tastes (and looks) like piss.
      • antonio97b, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4"You can have any beer you want, as long as it's a Corona."
    • diggydoc, on 05/15/2008, -2/+1what a loser
    • somedirtbag, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2121. Popped collar(s)
      • CasinoJack, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3Four, maybe. Five at a push, but twenty one?! Is that even possible?
    • awtripp, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2i saw someone who had the most gawdy plastic spinners -- on his ***** S4 Audi. I wanted to jack his car and run him over with it.
    • form3hide, on 05/15/2008, -0/+322. thinking non-geeks actually care about web2.0
      • davidrools, on 05/16/2008, -0/+223. thinking geeks actually care about web 2.0
    • LoneCrow, on 05/15/2008, -0/+213. Wearing your baseball hat backwards or sideways

      Making a movie on that actually. It explains how douche bags manage to get their hats into such ridiculous positions.
  • suzywang3000, on 05/15/2008, -5/+147grillz
    • allthosemoments, on 05/15/2008, -1/+17Gillz are so disgusting. I knew some people who thought they were cool in high school, except they had to take them out when they ate their lunch and it was disgusting and more like a retainer than something cool.
      • zerhynn, on 05/15/2008, -1/+23Yeah really. How do they even breathe on land with those ***** Gills. Absolutely disgusting.
      • SpectralSounds, on 05/15/2008, -1/+4You mean people actually wear those? HAHA. I thought they were just some novelty joke.
  • buffyangel108, on 05/15/2008, -18/+33911. Writing a blog entry on 10 items you think make you cool, but don't
    • WriterSD, on 05/15/2008, -5/+10Are you kidding? This was funny! Loved the "gay transformer."
    • Cowboy1015, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3That should be #1.
    • UnWeave, on 05/15/2008, -3/+1Um, no, the blog entry specifically states that those things do not make you look cool. Unless you meant that writing the blog doesn't make you look cool. In which case... Yeah.
    • EntropyFan, on 05/15/2008, -0/+7At least it was all on 1 page!
      That is pretty cool.
    • trane262, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3adding an 11. to a 10 item list makes you cool
    • AwesomePossum, on 05/15/2008, -2/+10. Your a pretentious ***** that uses your hip blog to condition viewers to accept your opinion and style.

      Why you think your cool: Your an idiot and don't know any better.
    • sideffects, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1That made me laugh so hard
  • frogstomp19, on 05/15/2008, -33/+191except, longboard skateboards are kind of awesome.
    • gutistg, on 05/15/2008, -2/+62I don't know how he came to the conclusion that longboards don't move as quickly as skateboards.
      • MixMasterK, on 05/16/2008, -0/+3ya - apparently he thinks he's cool by judging things he has never done before....
    • omgsideburns, on 05/15/2008, -5/+23too much time behind a computer, and not on a longboard. hater.
    • OisinT, on 05/15/2008, -5/+18lets never be friends.
    • JonTheGoose, on 05/15/2008, -1/+50I think it's a contextual thing. Longboards are awesome. Guys who bomb near vertical hills are awesome. The douchbags who feel the need to ride their longboard through campus walkways to a classroom 30 yards away while people on foot dive out of the way are not awesome.
      • jfowler27, on 05/15/2008, -1/+9It's so true. I hate the guys who ride their boards on the crowded sidewalks, but if they're in an open area or in the street they're pretty awesome. I also hate the idiots who just have to ride their bikes around campus on small footpaths when it would be easier and faster for everyone if they just rode in the street.
        • BoneheadFarker, on 05/15/2008, -2/+3Skateboarders in the streets are not awesome. I recently saw a kid nearly get hit by a truck, then screaming at the driver for it. If the dumbass kid stayed on the sidewalk, he wouldn't be risking his life and disrupting traffic...
          • gutistg, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3You want them to go 45 miles per hour on the sidewalk?
      • CabesMojo, on 05/15/2008, -0/+5I used to ride mine to school because it was faster than walking and we had some fun hills, but when classes were out and it was crowded I just walked.
        • jonr2219, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1I used to ride mine to campus too. Our paths were pretty wide though, and on the few narrow ones I'd pick it up and walk. Bombing hills is awesome too.
    • minusthebux, on 05/15/2008, -1/+15Yea, I think it's hard to watch this video and call long boarding lame http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMLFZcONQAs
      • ricoboy24, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1i have the loaded Vangaurd, kick ass board.
    • mitch54, on 05/15/2008, -1/+9It pisses me off when people see my longboard and ask "why dont you just buy a skateboard?" If it was just a long skateboard which made them less functional nobody would buy them.

      The difference between a longboard and a skateboard is the same between a roadbike and a bmx bike... some longboard setups come with ceramic ball bearings, as opposed to steel ball bearing which skateboards have. ceramic provides less friction and wont rust.

      • Mardi, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1you can get ceramic bearings, and swiss ball bearings for regular skateboards as well. alas, longboards still have bigger and softer wheels which make them go faster.
    • RobertGoulet, on 05/15/2008, -1/+4Agreed. love my longboard, love bombing hills, love carving hard. great cross trainer for surfing for me as well.

      this guy needs to step away from the computer and learn a little.
    • knightblade2oo4, on 05/16/2008, -2/+3as a longboarder, who races and slides, i honestly have to agree. nearly all longboarders i know do it to be cool or trendy. im not going to get all elitist and say im great or anything but i've poured over 3 years into becoming what i consider a respectable longboarder, while kids will have their parents buy them $300 setups to be the 'best' longboarder around. then they footbrake down 2% grades and cry over roadrash. ***** off.

      yeah im a little bit bitter.
    • delmar14,