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6 Terrifying Things They Don't Tell You About Childbirth
cracked.com — You know what's scarier than death? Birth. For those of you about to have your first child, or who are considering it, you should know that there are some things about childbirth they don't include in the movies. Disgusting, horrifying things.
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- Fhwqhgads, on 08/01/2008, -8/+155One of the grossest Cracked articles.
- DarkSpoon, on 08/01/2008, -1/+104My God, i was expecting jokes and laughter. All I'm left with is terror and a glassy look in my eye.
- po43292, on 08/01/2008, -0/+18And a new irrational fear of babies...and your girlfriend wanting to take a relationship to the "next level".
- thcobbs, on 08/01/2008, -0/+8That's ok... the terror will go away. Unfortunately, the glassy-eyed look never ends.
- rollem, on 08/02/2008, -0/+9The linked image of the placenta was awe-inspiring.
- jen79, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1Don't worry, it gets a lot easier to laugh about it after the fact...when other people are going through it!
- ngmcs8203, on 08/01/2008, -1/+33We're having our first in 3 weeks, should I not open this one?... Oh what the hell.
- Disease, on 08/01/2008, -0/+15You should know the truth.
Even if the truth isn't pretty. - sunkist22, on 08/02/2008, -0/+3At the time it's all happening, some of those things are the least on your mind. I never saw the placenta with both of ours, but experienced it all , except for the last one. Mostly you just want to make sure the child is healthy, not who could be witnessing some of the grossest moments of your life. :)
- Disease, on 08/01/2008, -0/+15You should know the truth.
- ngmcs8203, on 08/01/2008, -0/+37Wasn't too bad since I was made aware of all of these by our new fangled health provider... but this one can easily be solved by baby showers.
"But tack on the cost of the car seats, baby clothes, toys, diapers, bottles, play pens and aforementioned placenta memory-erasing Belgian ale, and you can plan on having spent more than your burger-flipping ass makes in a year before you even leave the hospital."
Friends and family members will spend exorbitant amounts of money on your baby at these parties. I never knew what it was like to receive 8 versions of the same outfit until we had a baby shower. Free stuff = Kick ass!
About the placenta... I still can't believe that some hippies actually save the thing and fry it up with their eggs the next morning because they feel it will benefit the mother and child after birth.... blech!- GassyTurd, on 08/01/2008, -0/+4Good luck.
- RobotBuddha, on 08/01/2008, -0/+23"receive 8 versions of the same outfit until we had a baby shower. Free stuff = Kick ass!"
Except for the fact that they'll outgrow all of them, really soon. - AnarkeIncarnate, on 08/01/2008, -0/+6Congrats. My wife is due around the same time.
- po43292, on 08/01/2008, -1/+24"About the placenta... I still can't believe that some hippies actually save the thing and fry it up with their eggs the next morning because they feel it will benefit the mother and child after birth.... blech!"
Please tell me that's a joke. I will not sleep tonight. - ngmcs8203, on 08/01/2008, -1/+24@po43292
Google "placentophagia" and have sweet, sweet dreams. - thcobbs, on 08/01/2008, -0/+4Good luck with that one ngmc. Baby showers will only get you past the first 6 months.
- Misterberu, on 08/01/2008, -0/+12http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Cookbook:Placenta
Yum. - cliffzdude, on 08/02/2008, -0/+5"receive 8 versions of the same outfit until we had a baby shower. Free stuff = Kick ass!"
Damn straight, most of the goodies come from seasoned parents, thus lots of the freebies are for later on, not just newborn clothes. Our kids both made it past 2 years without our needing to buy many clothes at all, on top of that little ones go through clothes like adults go through tissues when we have a cold. Leaky diapers and spit are the rule rather than the exception. And don't mention all the free diapers, oh the diapers. We know multiple couples who planed to be green and use cloth, ya, that lasted like 2 weeks.
- DagonNL, on 08/01/2008, -13/+5The strong suggestion is to TO STOP BREEDING ADDITIONAL HUMANS.
6 billion and counting. If we ground all humans up to meatloaf that is more
than a kilometer by a kilometer by a kilometer of human meat. That is
ENOUGH ALREADY.- MacEnvy, on 08/01/2008, -0/+16What a strange way to measure biomass. Also inaccurate, it would be much larger than that.
- smurfsahoy, on 08/01/2008, -0/+7Only underdeveloped nations need to stop breeding. Europe, Japan, the US, etc. are losing population too quickly (the US not quite, but only due to immigration), and it will start to hurt us soon. (Like when baby boomers start getting more retirement benefits)
- icexe, on 08/01/2008, -0/+8Correction: ..."STOP BREEDING ADDITIONAL IDIOTS"
- mohsenxp, on 08/01/2008, -0/+5km by km by km?
Did I actually just read that?
- KJSatz, on 08/01/2008, -0/+11Oh wow, I can't believe I clicked the link to see a placenta on wikipedia....
BTW they forgot #7, circumcision. Only for the lads.- colinmcd, on 08/01/2008, -0/+3So did I man....WOW. The description of 'the vagina blowing a meat bubble' didn't exactly calm my stomach either :S
- CryRightardCry, on 08/01/2008, -3/+8I was foolish enough to do that too.
Didn't that placenta attack Spock in an old episode? - Ramble, on 08/01/2008, -0/+2Ewww.
Must not be suggested to do things by random comments again.
- Misterberu, on 08/01/2008, -2/+1http://www.cracked.com/article_14979_6-most-terrif ...
Balut.
You'll understand when you see the final item on the list.- Purkake, on 08/01/2008, -0/+1Bah, they had it on Survivor and Fear factor. That birth article is a lot worse.
- ligyron, on 08/01/2008, -2/+1There were too many metaphors and puns in this article.
- bullhead2007, on 08/01/2008, -0/+3I'm suprised they left out crowning. For some reason something the size of a football busing a vagina open from the inside just looks terrifying. It's like the scene in alien where the alien busts out of a human's chest.
- bone625, on 08/01/2008, -0/+2http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIs9VLDRCPQ
Delicious...
not. - panteradactyl, on 08/01/2008, -0/+5Imagine going through all of it like i have, and twice. Tis a little worse
- PintOfGuinness, on 08/01/2008, -1/+7My wife is about to give birth this week and you've just freaked the ***** out of me you bastards!
- xomb13z, on 08/02/2008, -0/+6Grossest? Give me a break. This is real life compared to most of the ***** on the internet.
- paulsabo, on 08/02/2008, -2/+0I had some great wood goin till I saw that placenta...
- darkciti2, on 08/02/2008, -2/+1#0: Dude, that ***** ***** hurt !
I don't know about you guys, but all that pressure on my cranium and then being cinched around my neck before having my shoulders pinched together like I was a packed trashbag in a 'chute hurt like hell !
I couldn't ***** relax until after my shoulders cleared the exit.
I came out head first though, so your experience(s) may be more pleasant...
- DarkSpoon, on 08/01/2008, -1/+104My God, i was expecting jokes and laughter. All I'm left with is terror and a glassy look in my eye.
- gramophone, on 08/01/2008, -7/+426The miracle of life is disgusting
- Antz0rz, on 08/01/2008, -20/+1I laughed
- erichw1504, on 08/01/2008, -14/+1Correction: You LOL'd
- Tolzmaniac, on 08/01/2008, -1/+8I buried.
- deviouskoopa, on 08/01/2008, -1/+34"First off, the mom-to-be is going to take a big fat dump on the hospital bed."
I agree.- reeder84, on 08/01/2008, -1/+10easy remedy: request an enema.
- neeks, on 08/01/2008, -3/+1Administered by the father-to-be? Might as well make it interesting.
- someone173406, on 08/01/2008, -0/+12Lol i remember watching a video called miracle of life in health class. Some of us suggested to watch it backwards, especially the birth part.
- mnortei, on 08/01/2008, -0/+7http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Human_placenta_ ... warning: disturbing, maybe NSFW
- caborobo, on 08/01/2008, -0/+24Believe me guys, the scariest part about child-birth is the bill. My third and final child, my only daughter, had to spend a week and a half in the NICU. The bill ended up at $40,000.
- mwrl, on 08/01/2008, -4/+4Join the military. Your bill will be $38 total.
- etherreal, on 08/02/2008, -0/+7My son spent 12 days in the NICU in 2000. $750,000 before insurance.
- konforce, on 08/02/2008, -0/+2What was he doing having a child???
- lamecore, on 08/02/2008, -0/+1there goes her college education
- KingBabi, on 08/02/2008, -0/+2So it's essentially cheaper to go and live in Canada for a year.
- mmastrac, on 08/03/2008, -0/+3That doesn't make sense. We had ours for free.... oh yeah, Canada. Ooops!
- Ladymongoose, on 08/01/2008, -0/+10Actually, they DO tell you all this stuff, more or less, when you take a child birthing class, oh, say 2-3 months before you actually give birth. Then, you have many, many days to contemplate when you are about to go through. Fun!
- Disease, on 08/01/2008, -6/+7Guess who's gonna take the old fashioned route and wait in the waiting room like the man is supposed to be.
- kujo740, on 08/01/2008, -3/+5"Honey come see, isn't this beautiful?"
"..OH MY GOD NO!"
- kujo740, on 08/01/2008, -3/+5"Honey come see, isn't this beautiful?"
- 1nhuman, on 08/01/2008, -6/+16Man, you people and your ***** Hollywood fobia of childbirth.
My wife had 2 kids at home (which is common in the Netherlands) without anything for the pain (also very common in NL). She said it was though, but she could handle it. Both kids took about 30 minutes to be born.
We think having a baby in a relaxed environment, in a natural way, meaning not flat on yer ***** back, not in a place full of sick and injured people with tube lighting and masked doctors and not doped up, so you have your natural muscle contractions somehow makes for a easier childbirth. For me the experiences were pretty awesome, although you get shout at a lot, helping your kid into this world is brilliant. Btw, the bill part is about zero in NL, but he, we have social health care, which isn't perfect but a lot better then some "other" systems (you get a nurse to help out for a week as well, no, not like that).
And jesus, poop? whooo.... please grow up and deal with it.- CryRightardCry, on 08/01/2008, -4/+6Just one more thing to love about the Netherlands.
- ajde, on 08/02/2008, -1/+16Oh my God. A nurse to help out for a week? Free? My boyfriend's son cost $250,000. A QUARTER of a MILLION dollars, just to be born (a month premature, one of a set of twins, the other twin was lost in utero early in the pregnancy, hospitalized for like a month after birth, etc). So yes, your system is perfect in comparison to the cost of having a kid here in the US.
Also, I admire those who give birth naturally, but it took my mom 36 hours to have me, and another girl I know nearly bled to death giving birth at home, so you can't discount hospitalization. Furthermore, hands down, it's miraculous but it's a nasty process, painful and messy and dangerous. Your wife was blessed with short, easy childbirths and a free nurse, but we don't often have those same options here. - FullMetalNIN, on 08/02/2008, -6/+0I'm not ready to comprehend that girls fart let alone *****
- sunkist22, on 08/02/2008, -1/+10Homebirths are nice. If I wasn't in the hospital for both my children, they may have died. One was 10 days overdue, the 2nd had to be c-section. You're lucky to have textbook births. Please do not attempt to tell women who need assistance or bury their child that they are doing it wrong.
You grow up and don't be an insensitive ass. - bownasterm, on 08/02/2008, -2/+6I was born as a C-section...sorry but i would rather have been born in a hospital for 50K than be non-existent today thanks.
- spaceddaisy, on 08/04/2008, -1/+3@Sunkist I'm from the Netherlands too and trust me your doctor will tell you if you're not fit to have a home birth. And midwives, who are almost always present at home births, are educated to get you to a hospital at the first sign of trouble.
They're just way less keen on medicating and messing with natural processes. It can't be that bad for us, I mean our infant mortality rate is among the lowest in the world.
Doctors here believe that a natural birth helps prevent post-natal depression
And I agree, I can't believe how many people are afraid of childbirth! I mean yes, us women poop! Honestly we do! Expect me to hold it in while I try to push a baby out? - 1nhuman, on 08/04/2008, -1/+3@sunkist
I was generalizing. It is something that annoys me very much, and I tend to react a bit too strongly on this subject. Obviously, if there are any complications, even very minor ones, a hospital birth is the only way to go. However I do believe that in many countries doctors will push you for a hospital birth. Same thing with breast feeding (they push for formula). I think it should be the other way around.
- CryRightardCry, on 08/01/2008, -4/+6Just one more thing to love about the Netherlands.
- siobhankeogh, on 08/02/2008, -5/+9Seriously. Excuse me while I go get my ***** tubes tied.
- IceOfDiamonds, on 08/02/2008, -4/+3life is not a miracle, ffs. theres no such thing that would qualify as a miracle either
- Antz0rz, on 08/01/2008, -20/+1I laughed
- FlyCO, on 08/01/2008, -11/+84I used to say the pain during childbird was no worst than being kicked in the balls. I take that back.
- macbookhair, on 08/01/2008, -14/+3Unless you take a big ass *****, get your dick cut off, etc etc.
- inigomntoya, on 08/01/2008, -0/+12Wha?
- Disease, on 08/01/2008, -1/+1Did that happen in Pain Olympics?
- dk75eclipse, on 08/02/2008, -0/+1The pain olympics thing was faked...
- DagonNL, on 08/01/2008, -2/+23The pain is described as LESS bad than having cluster headaches.
"The degree of pain involved in cluster headaches is markedly greater than in other headache conditions, including migraine. It has been described by female patients as being more severe than childbirth. "
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cluster_headache
I have those, if I don' take proper meds, on a weekly basis.- halfdirt, on 08/01/2008, -0/+28According to the article, cluster headaches are also known as 'suicide headaches'. The whole article is pretty horrifying.
- WallnutBoy, on 08/01/2008, -1/+15My dad suffers from cluster headaches. It's really really terrible. Just wait until I tell him that he goes through more pain than mum has ever gone through.
- seraph582, on 08/01/2008, -13/+17worst??? Christ that made you look retarded.
- mohsenxp, on 08/01/2008, -4/+14No it didn't.
You're reply however made you look like an *****. - kylejn, on 08/01/2008, -1/+22And "childbird" didn't?
- mohsenxp, on 08/01/2008, -4/+14No it didn't.
- BOFH2, on 08/01/2008, -11/+4I talked to two different mothers who described it as less painful then a severely sprained ankle.
- RoyMan0, on 08/01/2008, -3/+2and I thought I was a BAMF for getting fillings at the dentist without Novocaine....
- Nosferotu, on 08/01/2008, -0/+11What, you've never been kicked in the balls so hard you ***** yourself?
- puck, on 08/01/2008, -1/+3I've had two women with kidney stones as patients say that kidney stone pain is far worse than delivering a baby.
- sealink, on 08/02/2008, -1/+1And gallbladder blockages? What are those on the baby-birth scale?
Cause I've had gallbladder attacks, but not kids. I could live through it again, I guess, but I just don't want to know if it's any worse than that, honestly.
- sealink, on 08/02/2008, -1/+1And gallbladder blockages? What are those on the baby-birth scale?
- SteveHoltAD, on 08/01/2008, -1/+5well personally, i would rather get kicked in the balls then give birth to a childbird.. that just sounds horrible
- glibpaxman, on 08/01/2008, -1/+5if only getting kicked in the balls lasted for hours, sometimes days, then perhaps it would be a comparable experience. alas, i think i would probably just die if i were repeatedly kicked in the balls for more than just a few minutes.... no oxygen.
- fuzzybeard, on 08/02/2008, -2/+2Dude, try passing a kidney stone sometime. Imagine something that looks like a sea urchin, only it's rock solid working it's way out through a heavily enervated passage that's too small for it. Did I mention the sea urchin part? Think the Death Star covered in spikes.
That has been the only time in my life I've been in so much pain that I've *****, puked, had my eyesight white out, puked some more, and begged my wife and mother-in-law to kill me to stop the pain.
Then we got to the hospital...It's amazing how fast you can get seen when you are screaming in pain and bazooka barfing at the same time. One very healthy whack of morphine later, I was peeing something that looked like automatic transmission fluid through a strainer, when THEY plopped out. They looked like spikey little grains of sand.
Anyway, this whole experience lasted FIVE HOURS! I've been kicked in the balls before; the kidney stone pain was orders of magnitude more severe than that. - inigomntoya, on 08/02/2008, -0/+3@ fuzzybear - Digg +1 for Bazooka Barfing.
I had 3 kidney stones pass in 12 hours before. They weren't huge, but it felt like I was being repeatedly kicked in the balls until they gave me Lortab. Then it only felt like someone was kidney punching me. Luckily I never pissed blood. But the worst was thinking everything was over and then getting hit again a few hours later.
We didn't have insurance at the time, so I just passed them at home without the morphine (you lucky bastard) - fuzzybeard, on 08/03/2008, -1/+3@ inigomntoya:
Sir (I presume), I salute you and raise a big glass of cranberry juice in a toast to having come out the other side of the experience (pun intended) and are able to tell the tale of a battle honourably fought.
- fuzzybeard, on 08/02/2008, -2/+2Dude, try passing a kidney stone sometime. Imagine something that looks like a sea urchin, only it's rock solid working it's way out through a heavily enervated passage that's too small for it. Did I mention the sea urchin part? Think the Death Star covered in spikes.
- Ortheos, on 08/01/2008, -2/+5I don't know..getting kicked in the nuts makes most men fall over and whimper on the ground holding their precious. If thats not comparable I guess kidney stones are, which do the same as they tear their way through your penis.
- veijeri, on 08/02/2008, -1/+1Twisting your epididymis as a man is more painful than childbirth as well (akin to the sensation of someone stomping on your balls for hours after a shotgun blast to the pelvis).
- fuzzybeard, on 08/03/2008, -1/+1Testicular Torsion is NEVER to be taken lightly!
Link to PSA:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHKMCrDaHRY
- fuzzybeard, on 08/03/2008, -1/+1Testicular Torsion is NEVER to be taken lightly!
- macbookhair, on 08/01/2008, -14/+3Unless you take a big ass *****, get your dick cut off, etc etc.
- SpiritOfRock, on 08/01/2008, -35/+15The pain of childbirth is about equivalent to the pain of having your balls disintegrated by a flaming 20 ton weight with spikes all over it dropped from the Empire State Building directly onto your crotch, followed up by having your penis laid flat on a cutting board and sliced, diced, cooked up in a frying pan, and force-fed to you through your nose.
- Bosoxmrkn, on 08/01/2008, -1/+53How does anyone have a comparison between childbirth and a traumatic ball mangling? Has anyone who has had balls ever given birth and can give us an account, or are you just making ***** up?
- Sornos, on 08/01/2008, -0/+24I've always wondered that. Women have no idea about the pain of a square kick to the balls (protip for any ladies here [laugh], you feel like dying) just as we have no idea about the pain of child birth. So how can we say that childbirth is more or less painful than having someone attempt to forcefully reinsert your testicles into your torso.
- TerraIncognito, on 08/01/2008, -6/+4Let me give my opinion as someone who just went through the pain of labor. I've seen a man get hit in the balls and from their reaction it is no way as close as the pain of labor (and don't say men can handle pain better because we all know that is not true).
I thought I had a high tolerance for pain until I went into labor, it gave me a new meaning to pain, it was the worst thing I've ever felt and I wanted to die (it does not feel like bad menstrual cramps at all).
All that said, men don't have the option of an epidural when they get kicked in the balls so I guess labor pain could be considered a better option. :) - GassyTurd, on 08/01/2008, -2/+9It depends on the woman. Some chicks have orgasms during birth.
http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/sensual/orgasm ...
Whores. - flailking, on 08/01/2008, -0/+7Try kidney stones!!!! I have to say they might top the childbirth pain.....
- Namco, on 08/01/2008, -0/+5My mother in law said that kidney stones were as bad as childbirth... but the wife said that she had an easy labor.
- LeviTheSmith, on 08/01/2008, -1/+4Gary (SpiritOfRock)
A 27 year-old transgender from Port Richey, Florida (US) who joined Digg on July 9th, 2008 - KingBabi, on 08/02/2008, -0/+1A cousin of mine passed out from the pain while passing a kidney stone. He is the "manliest" guy I know (served in the army, goes on safari, hunts).
- Sornos, on 08/01/2008, -0/+24I've always wondered that. Women have no idea about the pain of a square kick to the balls (protip for any ladies here [laugh], you feel like dying) just as we have no idea about the pain of child birth. So how can we say that childbirth is more or less painful than having someone attempt to forcefully reinsert your testicles into your torso.
- selrahc, on 08/01/2008, -0/+22Wait, you've experienced both of these things? I feel sorry for you.
- smorse, on 08/01/2008, -6/+1Awesome explanation!!!
- Kas70, on 08/01/2008, -3/+8I concur with SpiritOfRock, childbirth is a whole other realm. It's like a slow, escalating torture that has killed many women throughout time. You *do* want to die, and recovery is slow and painful. This is the reward of 9 months of being an incubator.
And what's more amazing is that many of us do this more than once. That the whole process goes right most of the time and we are instilled with such love for the child that most of us get over the trauma as soon as we see their faces is the miracle. - spoonchucks, on 08/01/2008, -5/+5Go make me a sandwich, woman...
- pudgyv, on 08/01/2008, -2/+5My mother said, "Would it hurt you to shiat a watermelon?" That told me everything I needed to know.
- po43292, on 08/01/2008, -0/+2Dugg for crazy talk.
- icexe, on 08/01/2008, -2/+5Don't worry, a nice epidural injection of drugs will take all that pain away. However, NOTHING takes away the pain of a kick to the balls.
- Kas70, on 08/02/2008, -2/+2Has anyone ever died from a kick to the balls? Is the recovery weeks long?
Please...
- Kas70, on 08/02/2008, -2/+2Has anyone ever died from a kick to the balls? Is the recovery weeks long?
- aznegglover, on 08/02/2008, -0/+1I truly hope that this isn't from personal experience.
- Bosoxmrkn, on 08/01/2008, -1/+53How does anyone have a comparison between childbirth and a traumatic ball mangling? Has anyone who has had balls ever given birth and can give us an account, or are you just making ***** up?
- PathmarkPolice, on 08/01/2008, -14/+4That made my butt wince. I think we're going to see a huge drop in the number of natural child-births for our generation.
- macbookhair, on 08/01/2008, -2/+42babies don't come out of your butt lol
- GassyTurd, on 08/01/2008, -0/+30[citation needed]
- tightscrummy, on 08/01/2008, -2/+11Having witnessed two vaginal births and one C-section the C-section was far more disgusting, assuming you don't like seeing your wife with her intestines dumped out on her chest like some medieval execution.
- Disease, on 08/01/2008, -0/+3o.o
- queenstarsha, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1oh god. intestines... out? do not want. my maternal instinct is teetering at about 2% right now.
- leerayIG88, on 08/01/2008, -3/+4what what in the butt?
- davdev, on 08/01/2008, -0/+10I think you need to see a C-section. It is not simply a cut open, pull baby out scenario. The entire womb is pulled out of the woman, then, while it is laying on her stomach, they cut it open and pull the baby out. They then take out all the crap that is no longer needed, and push the rest back in. Plus, a woman can typically be recovered from a natural birth in a day or two, where a C-Section can take weeks to recover from
- aquireworth, on 08/01/2008, -0/+3Sadly our country has very few "natural" child births. It's like less than 8 %.
- neeks, on 08/01/2008, -0/+4 Cesarean sections are performed more than are necessary according to certain statistics. Its major abdominal surgery vs natural process of childbirth performed for ages? oye
- macbookhair, on 08/01/2008, -2/+42babies don't come out of your butt lol
- whirlingderv, on 08/01/2008, -1/+379New mandatory reading for sex ed. And an unbeatable ad campaign for condom and birth control pill companies.
- lisaawesome, on 08/01/2008, -0/+93When you tell young girls what episiotomies are you have instantly granted them at LEAST a few years of birth control. My mother bestowed that gem upon my younger sister recently who immediately began screaming in horror and insisting she will never ever have a baby.
- KibblesnBitts, on 08/02/2008, -1/+4not my senior year sex ed teacher......she told us how great episiotomies were, and that the doctor "Stitches it back up soon afterwards and will stitch it up even more for good luck"
......i still don't know what she was on
- KibblesnBitts, on 08/02/2008, -1/+4not my senior year sex ed teacher......she told us how great episiotomies were, and that the doctor "Stitches it back up soon afterwards and will stitch it up even more for good luck"
- ishdawa, on 08/01/2008, -0/+10unbeatable is definitely right
- krische, on 08/01/2008, -3/+2Just put up posters with a picture of a placenta on it. Nothing else is necessary.
- tech42er, on 08/02/2008, -4/+2And abortion clinics. Of course, an abortion might be worse, so you decide.
- sfour, on 08/02/2008, -0/+8They should have snuck that tidbit into Juno. Just to counteract the "cool" factor.
- lisaawesome, on 08/01/2008, -0/+93When you tell young girls what episiotomies are you have instantly granted them at LEAST a few years of birth control. My mother bestowed that gem upon my younger sister recently who immediately began screaming in horror and insisting she will never ever have a baby.
- salamnder, on 08/01/2008, -17/+5Hell yeah, just think about pooping in the bed with your cut hoohaa ...
- robotabot, on 08/01/2008, -4/+75great. now when i hear about someone's new baby, instead of saying, "aw, congratulations!" i'm just going to eye them uncomfortably and unwillingly think about them pooping in bed.
- reastydirtstar, on 08/01/2008, -6/+3there's probably seeds and corn kernels in the ***** too. Just a thought.
- nickrct, on 08/02/2008, -1/+1"Yahweh, always pain before the child is born."
- Rotzooi, on 08/01/2008, -32/+290Anal sex ftw
- solesoul, on 08/01/2008, -4/+90Technical virgins FTW!
- nibster, on 08/02/2008, -1/+3that's what catholic school girls are all about.
- leerayIG88, on 08/01/2008, -3/+65Goat sex FTL :(
- Puffles, on 08/01/2008, -0/+19Hey, at least you won't get charged $10,000 when the baby comes out.
Granted, I'm sure it'll be a lot more horrifying.
- Puffles, on 08/01/2008, -0/+19Hey, at least you won't get charged $10,000 when the baby comes out.
- PathmarkPolice, on 08/01/2008, -3/+22Pink socks are far, far worse than what Cracked is showing/discussing here............*shivers*
- BabyWookie, on 08/01/2008, -6/+1If by "worse", you mean "hotter", then I agree.
- andrew1338, on 08/02/2008, -0/+1Wow, I think I missed a meme somewhere. How the ***** did that get to the top of a google search for "pink socks"
Please don't tell me pink socks is a technical term. :-0 - cnot3, on 08/02/2008, -0/+1That's the same thing I thought of. Anal isn't all fun and games boys and girls. Personally I don't see the point of ***** a chick in the ass when they have a perfectly good vagina, least you can't turn it inside out. Pink socks give me nightmares.
- monkeeofevil, on 08/01/2008, -15/+8who are the three prudes who dugg you down for saying Anal sex ftw? anal sex is awesome...if your not on the receiving end. lol
- appleseed1234, on 08/01/2008, -0/+15You talk as if it's not exactly a team effort.
- SpectralSounds, on 08/01/2008, -12/+1If you've tried it a couple of times, it kind of loses it's novelty. It doesn't feel like much of anything in there... Sort of like having sex with air almost.
- buba1243, on 08/01/2008, -1/+7I would say its good for both parties if they both finish.
- Zarokima, on 08/01/2008, -2/+9Spectral: You're either making ***** up or your dick is just way too small. It certainly feels like a LOT of something until she (or he) can loosen up, then it's pretty good. But yeah for someone with a normal sized penis it's way too tight and hurts like ***** if his partner can't loosen up. Think doing a virgin, and multiply by 3.
- SpectralSounds, on 08/01/2008, -7/+1Zarokima you are so full of *****. You are harboring childhood fantasies. It isn't what you think it should be like. Maybe if you ever get lucky enough to try it out, you'll see what I mean.
- 2Deluxe, on 08/01/2008, -0/+4No, Spectral, you're full of *****.
- ahawks, on 08/01/2008, -0/+15Right, because we really needed to think about MORE *****, and rubbing your penis in it. Thanks.
- Darkyuubi, on 08/01/2008, -3/+17What What in the butt?
- SugarCoatedSalt, on 08/01/2008, -3/+9that's ***** nasty, when you do it...take your dick out, rub your hand over it and smell it.
- chockZ, on 08/02/2008, -2/+7You must only have sex with baked goods
- SugarCoatedSalt, on 08/02/2008, -3/+6good one pal, I do it the way it was meant to be. What? just because I don't like anal and don't want to get my dick smeared in ***** makes me any less of a man?
- Sonique99, on 08/01/2008, -2/+12It's the only 100% guaranteed method of contraception. Even abstinence failed once.
- Drugx2, on 08/02/2008, -0/+6oh my, your right......
Mary should have done it in the butt - queenstarsha, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1abstinence fails every time someone *****.
- Drugx2, on 08/02/2008, -0/+6oh my, your right......
- DeFex, on 08/02/2008, -7/+2you might as well be gay. not that there is anything wrong with that.
- czeman, on 08/02/2008, -1/+7Blowjobs FTW
- cnot3, on 08/02/2008, -0/+2mouth babies
- solesoul, on 08/01/2008, -4/+90Technical virgins FTW!
- kingmanic, on 08/01/2008, -6/+87Well #1 will be a bit easier on me. I live in Canada so you amortize the bill over all your tax paying years.
- seraph582, on 08/01/2008, -29/+4there's a reason plenty of canadians pay those taxes but still elect to pay for and use american health insurance
- kingmanic, on 08/01/2008, -1/+7Got any stats on how common that is? It's not American health insurance it's out of pocket. Some will pay for procedures out of pocket because either that specific doctor is a better specialist or the specialist is booked in Canada. It's uncommon. It's a subsection of the people who can afford to pay 100,000 for a 30 day stay in a hospital like an acquaintance of mine did when she got really sick in the states. Her travelers insurance defused the cost a bit but her parents where rich so it wasn't a big deal to them.
- dsmx, on 08/01/2008, -5/+12It's free in the UK, yes the NHS does do some stuff right.
- WallnutBoy, on 08/01/2008, -2/+14It's hardly free. Like in Canada, we pay taxes for the NHS.
- dsmx, on 08/01/2008, -1/+4But I'm guesssing you pay less than 10k in taxes to have the baby, in the uk you do.
- Yookji, on 08/01/2008, -2/+2However over your entire lifespan, you'll end up paying more than that.
- dsmx, on 08/02/2008, -0/+3Yeah I'm sure people in america don't pay anything for healthcare after they have had a baby....
- i38warhawk, on 08/02/2008, -2/+3Only about 15.6% of American's don't have health insurance. The problems isn't the cost of insurance, it's the absurd cost of all health care and an aging population.
- jpete71chevmal, on 08/02/2008, -7/+1What if you are healthy all your life and rarely use the health service? Do you get a refund when you die? The government takes enough money from me, I'll cry "No mas" on this one.
- sunkist22, on 08/02/2008, -0/+5So if you buy health insurance in the US, and are healthy and rarely use the health service, does you insurance carrier refund YOU when you die?
- DeFex, on 08/02/2008, -4/+5yes including us people who decided there are enough kids already int he world
paying for your brats with our taxes.- sunkist22, on 08/02/2008, -3/+5Maybe, but we're also paying for your upkeep when you get old and crotchety, and others who smoke or eat or drink themselves into a hospital bed. Stop whining like you're special. Just because you decided to be a lonely old ass and not have kids doesn't mean you're better.
- DeFex, on 08/02/2008, -5/+2unless you have especially good ones. your kids will be brought up so badly. not by you but by the school system, peers, media and government they will leave you to rot anyways. ill be paying for you as well.
and im not bitter lol im enjoying my freedom. no kids = enough to pay my own upkeep DUH - sunkist22, on 08/02/2008, -1/+2Well thanks for the lovely vote of confidence on my parenting, seeing how as you know nothing about me. Just because a few children ignore their parents as they become adults does not mean every single child does that. Why do you people have to generalize things like this? You see one child behaving a little loud in public you assume they are all like this.
I can see what you mean about the school system. Judging from your ignorant post.
Your freedom also means selfish. I hope the extra money you have to "pay for your own upkeep" keeps you company at christmas. Me I will be enjoying my family and all my other relatives. - sunkist22, on 08/02/2008, -0/+2Oh, and I pay more in medical than a single person, because of children. So if we are very healthy and rarely use it I wind up paying MORE than YOU over a lifetime.
Everyone winds up paying for someone else's health problems or someone else's kids or someone else's drug habits over the years. Stop being a whiny little baby and try to make yourself special because you have no one.
- seraph582, on 08/01/2008, -29/+4there's a reason plenty of canadians pay those taxes but still elect to pay for and use american health insurance
- kd420, on 08/01/2008, -3/+46I'm so glad I'm a guy, this stuff freaks me out just thinking about it. Imagine how ***** terrified you would be if the only way you could have children is by first going through Nature's gauntlet of pain and disfigurement.
- RedReplicant, on 08/01/2008, -4/+6Voluntary C-sections FTW.
Or just skip the whole mess and adopt. - NCg8r, on 08/01/2008, -3/+7I found out I was a C-section and it ruined my birthday for me forever. It is no longer the ocassion of my birth. but an anniversary of the day Doctor Rockso had nothing better to do on his calendar.
"3:30pm work for you? See you then!"- halfdirt, on 08/01/2008, -5/+3What is it with the disrespect to doctors here? It is in the article too, "You let the (the article assumes male) doctor touch your wife's vagina and then pay him for it!" Childbirth is only getting safer, compared to half a century ago, or a century ago.
Modurn dokters & siense r good!! - NCg8r, on 08/01/2008, -1/+15To be quite honest, I just wanted a reason to type "Doctor Rockso"
- MikeEnIke, on 08/01/2008, -0/+8Halfdirt... it's a joke dude.
- tech42er, on 08/02/2008, -4/+3What the *****? You're mad because you feel your birth was artificial. Jesus ***** christ, you're pathetic.
- halfdirt, on 08/01/2008, -5/+3What is it with the disrespect to doctors here? It is in the article too, "You let the (the article assumes male) doctor touch your wife's vagina and then pay him for it!" Childbirth is only getting safer, compared to half a century ago, or a century ago.
- cwmather, on 08/01/2008, -5/+50Man, I hate when people make childbirth out to be worse than it is. Articles like this just play on people's fears and most of the stuff they talk about either doesn't happen very often or is just misleading.
#6. The placenta is a non issue. Most of the time if you don't even see it since it comes out after the baby and that's where all the focus is obviously.
#5. Episiotomies - Once again, this may be someone common, but it happens less than 1/3 of the time. My wife and I are working on #4 and she has had no complications whatsoever.
4#. Pooping on the bed? - Ok, this is misleading. This will happen sometimes, but it's not nearly as common as stated in the article. They make it sound as if it happens every time.
#3. Not all baby's heads come out mishapen to the degree shown in the photo. Maybe a little bit, but how is that terrifying? The doctor warns you of this and it goes away after about a day or so.
#2. Fetal monitoring is not like the Matrix . - They put some suction cups on the baby and have it sleep under a lamp that is 98.6 degrees on a blanket. The baby's love it since they are warm and out of the dark finally.
#1. The Bill. Ok, whoever has a baby without health insurance is just a retard. If you can't afford it, get Medicaid, they pay for the entire bill, even room food. Plus, if you have a baby shower, more than likely you won't be buying anything for a while but diapers and wipies. Plus, if you can, breast feed, it's healthier for mom and baby, and it's WAY cheaper.
I think someone needed to mention that the experience is not always a nightmare. Yeah, it's painful. Yeah, you lose sleep for a while, but, well... Ah forget it, unless you have kids, you won't get it... :)- tallassrob, on 08/01/2008, -0/+11Your reply made me feel a little better as my wife is pregnant. Although I think you might be a little off with fetal monitoring, since there are different types of fetal monitors. The article obviously chose the most horrific disturbing type of fetal monitor which is only used for high risk mothers: http://www.childbirth.org/articles/efmfaq.html
- chuckDontSurf, on 08/01/2008, -5/+3See, there's this thing called "humor"...
- EntropyFan, on 08/01/2008, -0/+13#4 if you can't deal with poop, don't ever be around a baby.
Or a puppy. Or a kitten. - pbostley, on 08/01/2008, -1/+4#2. RTFA. They were talking about intrauterine fetal monitoring, not post-birth. For the prior, they actually screw the pulseox into the child's head..
- AngelaQ, on 08/01/2008, -2/+11The article is mistitled. The title should be "6 things that guys who are weenies will find so terrifying about childbirth that you can use them as an excuse to not help your wife out during labor". The article has nothing whatever to do with women or real childbirth.
- Quake120, on 08/01/2008, -2/+7I totally agree with you, cwmather... My wife had our baby via c-section so I didn't have to go through labor and childbirth like described in the article, but seriously, the minute the baby is born, you will never remember those parts, you will only remember the baby being born.
You would have the be the coldest, most inhuman person on EARTH to feel anything but sheer joy and happiness when your son or daughter is born. - rhapsodisiac, on 08/02/2008, -1/+3Quake, that's such a ***** thing to say. Childbirth can put hormones through the roof and into the basement at the same time, meaning that mothers can end up numb or depressed and be completely unable to help it.
Never mind the fear and dread felt by poor parents without means of support, and the women, I mean children, forced into chattle childbearing in the world's, erm, less egalitarian circles. Open your friggin' brain up a bit, will you?
- czeman, on 08/02/2008, -0/+4Just wait till you're in the room during birth, kd420. Actually, cwmather hit the nail on the head. Sure, it's not exactly a picnic. They didn't get to my wife in time with the epidural and she gave birth without ANY pain killers. She was in so much pain I was crying!
- fuzzybeard, on 08/02/2008, -1/+1I actually thought of it more as the Play-Doh Fun Factory of Life.
- RedReplicant, on 08/01/2008, -4/+6Voluntary C-sections FTW.
- Oddog, on 08/01/2008, -15/+4I might add: pregnant women have 80% chance their vagina rips during birth and usually they throw up, they piss and they fart. Viva la vida! :D
- GassyTurd, on 08/01/2008, -5/+1lol birth farts FTW.
- Oddog, on 08/01/2008, -2/+0it's just the truth.. try search on the web XD
- deweyhewson, on 08/01/2008, -35/+1707. Doctors still try to force new parents to circumcise their male babies, despite lack of any medical reason to do so.
Genital Mutilation, for the win!- macbookhair, on 08/01/2008, -50/+14because it looks better... ask any woman
- Rikkochet, on 08/01/2008, -2/+21Uhm, that's still not a reason you know.
- SammyJr, on 08/01/2008, -2/+28"because it looks better" ... these are baby genitals you're talking about. Where's the pedo bear guy?
If the guy thinks that being cut looks better, he can get it done for himself and then spend the next week high on codiene while it heals. His body, his choice. - Namco, on 08/01/2008, -3/+31Yeah, and I'll bet my arm would look really cool without any skin, kinda like the Terminator's... but that doesn't mean I'm going to do it.
- H4n90fThur5D4y5, on 08/01/2008, -8/+32Umm...No. It doesn't.
-a woman. - NCg8r, on 08/01/2008, -10/+2Whore.
I keed! - ashfish, on 08/01/2008, -0/+7Um, most girls in the US don't even know what an uncircumcised penis looks like so I'm not quite sure how you got that one. And its not as practiced around the rest of the world so again...not sure where you're getting this form.
- Namco, on 08/01/2008, -1/+8I'm uncut and I don't think my woman even knows what an uncircumcised penis looks like...yaknowwhaddimean?
- xstarsprinklesx, on 08/01/2008, -0/+5Most American women only think that because it's what they're (we're) used to. If they got rid of the practice as a norm it wouldn't make a difference.
- JessicaChrono, on 08/02/2008, -0/+4I've been with both cut and uncut men... Neither looks better, feels better, or has any advantage over the other... The uncut penis just had a little hoodie to wear when he was sleeping!
- docbob84, on 08/02/2008, -1/+0@Namco: So... your girl hasn't ever seen your dick? That's not something I'd be telling the entire interweb, but that's just me I guess.
- Namco, on 08/02/2008, -0/+1@docbob84: no genius, I'm just sayin' that ya should peel the banana before you let her.... oh nevermind obviously you didn't knowhadimeant.
- rhapsodisiac, on 08/02/2008, -0/+2Circumcision doesn't look better or feel better.
I talk to my boyfriend's natural member from time to time, and stroking his ego is a byproduct: I'm incredibly thankful for my luck in finding a wonderful guy with an equally wonderful attatchment. You don't know how rare that is.
- Sornos, on 08/01/2008, -27/+90In the US, maybe... In the civilized world, not so much.
- backseatchris, on 08/01/2008, -19/+8. Worldwide: (15-20% circumcised; 80-85% uncircumcised)
In the English Speaking World:
United States- (60-65% circumcised; 35-40% uncircumcised)
United Kingdom- (10-15% circumcised; 85-90% uncircumcised)
Canada- (50% circumcised; 50% uncircumcised)
Australia- (30% circumcised; 70% uncircumcised)
Oh yeah we are realllly far behind you there in Canada.
There are tens of millions of more men uncircumcised in the US than in all of Canada. So please, be quiet with your snobby remarks - Sornos, on 08/01/2008, -6/+25[citation needed]
By claiming there are more uncircumcised men in the US is silly because the ridiculous difference in populations. Secondly, at least where I am, circumcision is looked at as being disgusting, but Canada is a big country. - Sucka27, on 08/01/2008, -3/+3Digg's comment system is jacked.
- backseatchris, on 08/01/2008, -19/+8. Worldwide: (15-20% circumcised; 80-85% uncircumcised)
- realn0whereman, on 08/01/2008, -20/+12im a grown man and i rather have a circumcised penis... i just dont want to do it now because i dont want the pain or the swollen dick for a month :(
- Sornos, on 08/01/2008, -8/+26For the love of god, why? It's like cutting off your eyelid!
- CobaltBlue, on 08/01/2008, -1/+35I'm a grown man and I would love to cut of my eyelids. Blinking is sooo overrated.
- po43292, on 08/01/2008, -0/+11You can't even win staring competitions or anything. Blinking sucks.
- frepnog, on 08/01/2008, -10/+8"For the love of god, why? It's like cutting off your eyelid!"
oh ***** christ that is wrong. it is nothing like that at all.
the important part of your penis is that smooshy ***** at the end that keeps your hand from slipping off the end, also known as the glans. that piece of skin that the majority of newborn males gets removed is just that - skin. it doesn't make your dick more sensitive. It just makes chicks think that your dick looks like some kind of ***** sandworm and they get grossed out. Now... i am not saying it should be mandatory to have it done, personally i think it should be done, but when the person is old enough to make the decision for themselves, but trust me - sexually it makes little - to - no difference. except that you will be more likely to get a blow job cuz a chick wont look at your uncut tool and go
EWWWWW! - upnortherik, on 08/01/2008, -0/+1^ Buried for disagreeing with me, dugg for the lulz (sandworm reference ftw). We'll call it even.
- phorden, on 08/01/2008, -2/+5@frepnog
I'm uncircumcised and I have never had a woman have a problem hiving head. Most of them don't care either way.
- Xanrez, on 08/01/2008, -58/+107Do NOT have your male children circumcised!!!1!1!!! It's the equivalent of ripping off a girls clitoris. The practice is rooted in very old religion that has no bearing on today. For the love of god, let your boys keep the parts that will make sex twice as good as us poor circumcised slobs. If it's that big of a deal for the guy later in life, he can have it taken off with a relatively painless (friken) laser procedure. Leave the decision up to him! (it's his prick, after all...)
- toekneebullard, on 08/01/2008, -31/+19That's the dumbest comparison I have ever heard.
- thedymest, on 08/01/2008, -12/+44"let your boys keep the parts that will make sex twice as good"
True. - dood, on 08/01/2008, -8/+47Nobody can honestly know whether sex is actually better uncircumcised than it is for those circumcised at birth.
- howdareyou, on 08/01/2008, -12/+171Actually no, male circumcision isn't the equivalent of female circumcision.
It's not even close. - Antialias, on 08/01/2008, -8/+51There have been a number of guys who have had it done as an adult that report only very minor differences in sex except that they can generally last longer.
- notanidiot, on 08/01/2008, -3/+15So you guys didn't have your foreskin gnawed off by a foolish pterodactyl when you were too young to remember?
- AnarkeIncarnate, on 08/01/2008, -6/+36My friend has told me many times "Take the whole baby home."
- loutang82, on 08/01/2008, -30/+13You can't miss what u've never had.
..the process also helps to fight infections/disease by not giving bacteria a place to build up - SammyJr, on 08/01/2008, -12/+23@howdareyou, look at the WHO page on female circumcision. Male circumcision is the equivalent of a Type I FGM. Its a double standard in America - if anyone makes so much as a pinprick on the genitals of a little girl, they go to prison (and they should), but they can cut off a huge chunk of a boy's skin, relative to the penis size, and its a-ok. If you want cosmetic genital modification, it should be chosen by the adult who owns said genitals, not his parents.
@loutang82, if you can't figure out how to wash your dick, you fail at life. - mariecordona, on 08/01/2008, -3/+18@SammyJr I'm not for or against circumcision one way or the other. But you can't say a procedure done with sterile instruments in a hospital is the same thing as a procedure done using an exacto knife as a scalpel and pricker thorns as sutures (as I've read is very common). I'm sure they both hurt, but one procedure is done shortly after birth, the other is done much later causing profound psychological effects. Male circumcision does not cause impotence, but female circumcision causes the female equivalent. Again, I'm not an advocate for circumcision one way or the other, but they're vastly different procedures performed in extremely different environments with completely different standards of cleanliness and medical skill. Not comparable at all. Unless you know of some rogue mohel/doctor who is performing male circumcisions in alleyways with scissors...
- Echo18, on 08/01/2008, -7/+109I know I'm going to get dugg down to oblivion, but I really don't care at this point because I am sick and tired of seeing this comparison.
Really, how in the world can you compare female genital mutilation to male circumcision?
In female genital mutilation they take a girl when she 12-13 years old, bring her into a dirty hut and make her get on all fours, pull out a rusty knife, and slice off her clitoris and labia. She runs the risk of getting nasty infections, and this process makes sex incredibly painful for the rest of her life.
In male circumcision, they take a child when he is an infant (in most cases) and, with surgically clean instruments, snip off the bit of extra skin around the head of the penis. This minimally affects sexual pleasure (I have been in relationships with men who were both circumsized and uncircumsied, and noticed absolutely no difference between the two and their enjoyment of sex), and is a safe procedure.
However, the reasons for male circumcision are mostly obsolete at this point. Originally it was intended to prevent the diseases that could form under that extra skin in the old days when guys didn't have access to clean water and showers. Our level of cleanliness at this at this point makes this operation mostly unnecessary, so circumcision/no circumcision, it doesn't make much of a difference.
You can say both are related to "tradition" at this point sure. But with FGM the purpose is to make sex so painful for the woman so that she would not dare sleep with another man. Male circumcision was born out trying to prevent men from getting diseases.
Digg me down, I don't care, but it is completely wrong and unfair to ever think of comparing the two. - howdareyou, on 08/01/2008, -0/+22@SammyJr
My point was that cutting off a males foreskin shouldn't be compared to ripping off a females clitoris. - SammyJr, on 08/01/2008, -11/+4First, please read a little on the different types of FGM before responding with kneejerk burials. There are different kinds and they are of different severities. When Americans think female circumcision, they think Type III FGM, as is done in Africa. I'm not comparing a bush Type III FGM to a typical American circumcision as Echo18 did in his or her post.
http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs241/en ...
You have to remember that female circumcision is VERY common in Middle Eastern and Muslim nations. The typical female circumcision there is comparable to male circumcision and it is done in a sterile hospital environment.
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/01/12/10738777 ...
This is the comparison I'm making. - wyrdness, on 08/01/2008, -2/+23Sex twice as good? Where did you get that idea from? I was circumcised as an adult (my choice) and definitely think that sex was better afterwards.
My son was born 6 weeks ago, and there's no way that I'll have him circumcised. If he wants it, he can wait until he's an adult and make his own decision. Infant circumcision is child abuse, as far as I'm concerned. I'm glad that I had the choice and glad that I had it done as an adult so that I could experience sex both uncircumcised and circumcised. - norm7, on 08/01/2008, -6/+21"It's the equivalent of ripping off a girls clitoris."
NOT EVEN CLOSE YOU *****. - cnot3, on 08/02/2008, -1/+1I never miss a Bris.
- diggimator, on 08/02/2008, -0/+3@Echo18
Countries that widely practice FGM also widely practice circumcision. I doubt that in Egypt, for example, people take their boys to a sanitary environment in a hospital, but take their girls to some kind of preserved historical hut for cutting with rusty knives, of all things, just for the add cruelty. - cwmather, on 08/02/2008, -0/+4Hey, let's get all emotional about it!
Why not just look at the facts. It's a procedure that has numerous health benefits for the child, and they much of the time the child is under no distress during the procedure and forget shortly after it occurs. I'm sick and tired of these new age philosophies regarding circumcision which are simply not true. Read for yourselves...
http://www.circinfo.net/the_circumcision-debate.ht ...
- Altotus, on 08/01/2008, -7/+17That used to be the case in the USA and pretty much nowhere else in the world. The American Academy of Pediatrics has stated that it is of no benefit and carries a small but notable risk, so they don't endorse it. You'd be hard-pressed to find a doctor that's going to suggest it, much less press for it today.
- SammyJr, on 08/01/2008, -4/+22Come to the midwest. The OBs and the Peds are seeing dollar signs whenever a new baby boy is born. You should have hear the disappointment when I told them that they weren't getting anywhere near my son's penis with a knife.
- phorden, on 08/01/2008, -1/+8Actually a lot of doctors will suggest it because it is a big money maker for hospitals.
- puck, on 08/01/2008, -1/+6Altotus, your absolutely right. @SammyJr, thats funny because I'm a doctor in the midwest and have worked at a variety of hospitals as a pediatrician. I've never known a doctor to push for routine circumcision. If anything, we do it reluctantly at the request of parents. None of my colleagues have had their sons circumcised. Way to overgeneralize. I'm sure there are some older ones out there that may push for it, but they are not the majority. If anything, its parents pushing for it and we're trying to explain why it is not necessary.
- SammyJr, on 08/01/2008, -6/+2@puck, glad to hear it that its not as common everywhere in the Midwest as it seems to be around here.
If you do it "reluctantly", why do it at all? Take a stand, tell parents its a bad idea, and don't do them. - puck, on 08/02/2008, -0/+2Its not this evil, awful thing either that it is made out to be by opponents. It is what it is, nothing more or less. As one individual it is not a battle worth fighting as there are a thousand other people that can do it and if parents want it done it will be done. Its a cultural thing that will only change with time. I generally don't do them, anyway, where I am now; usually, the OB does them.
- SammyJr, on 08/02/2008, -0/+1@puck, but if you, as a doctor, say its a bad idea and don't do them, it'll make an impression on the parents. Right now, you're making the opposite impression. Its 2008, not 500 BC, be part of the solution.
- puck, on 08/03/2008, -1/+3I tell them its unnecessary. I answer their questions in a factual way....if they even have any. The bottom line is most parents don't care that it is uncessary. What don't you get about that? I've never encouraged anyone to do it as a matter of routine, so I'm not sure how I'm giving them the opposite impression. As a physician I literally makes hundreds of recommendations daily. A good portion of those go unheeded. It is not my job, nor should it be largely, to make decisions for people. It is a relatively quite safe procedure that is a cultural norm; babies get more upset when they are hungry than they do during the few minutes it takes to do the actual procedure. Hell, they don't even cry if you feed them while you do it. Again, most parents are more familiar with circumcised penises, and boys that are circumcised seem to do just fine in adulthood. Unless laws change, it will take a cultural change which will take decades of saying it is unnecessary over and over again before it will ever go away. There are much larger issues out there that are more worthy to spend time and energy on.
- jcdick1, on 08/01/2008, -1/+75It really depends. My son had a circumcision at seven years old, because he had chronic UTIs. Had it done, and poof! No more 105 degree fevers and painful pee ... but I definitely chose not to do it until there was a medical reason for it and only after consultation with both his pediatrician and an independent pediatric urologist.
- irvin666, on 08/01/2008, -1/+3That is true, I had to be circumsized to fix my hypospadia. So technically, I still have my foreskin.
TMI? ...well, yah you betcha. - BoneheadFarker, on 08/01/2008, -1/+4@irvin666
It's more common then you think. I came about (-----) that close to needing the same thing, but the doctors decided at the last minute that it wasn't that bad. Came out of it with my dick intact, since they left the foreskin to do the operation. And I've been thankful everyday day for it.
@jcdick1
Along the same lines, I had the same problem as your son, which was part of the reason they wanted to operate too. Know what cured it? I accidently pulled the foreskin back in the bathtub one day, tearing it from the head and allowing me to clean in behind where the infections would start. I feel very bad for your son... - BigManOnCampus, on 08/01/2008, -0/+6The uncircumcised penis sometimes needs special care, care that fathers who either didn't have the same problems or were circumcised themselves know little about, and mom sure knows nothing about it. The fact is if we all weren't so ignorant, none of these things would likely be issues.
- irvin666, on 08/01/2008, -1/+3That is true, I had to be circumsized to fix my hypospadia. So technically, I still have my foreskin.
- GassyTurd, on 08/01/2008, -28/+12I'm snipped and I'm glad. Smegma FTL.
- SammyJr, on 08/01/2008, -6/+21Showers FTW!
- Jauladeoro, on 08/27/2008, -8/+20Both my sons are proudly uncircumcised. I have no idea how a parent can stand by and do that to their child. I used to cry just seeing them scream as infants during vaccinations. I can not even begin to imagine. I don't have a penis but the thought of cutting off a piece makes me want to curl into a ball and throw up.
- itsripitsrip, on 08/01/2008, -21/+8enjoy your aids.
and most uncut dudes say they don't feel anything pleasurable with the foreskin anyway. - Ladymongoose, on 08/01/2008, -5/+13Neither of my two boys are circ'd. In fact, the nurses at our hospital were relieved to hear we weren't going to do it.
- puck, on 08/01/2008, -2/+14No we don't. I'm a doctor. None of my colleagues recommend circumcision as a matter of routine, neither do I. Its ultimately up to parents, and the fact of the matter is, most males in the US are circumcised, so most parents (mothers and fathers) are more comfortable with getting their children circumcised.
- Sucka27, on 08/01/2008, -8/+2ANTEATERS FTW!!
- Ortheos, on 08/01/2008, -10/+7Male circumcision gets rid of the foreskin (obviously) with it's 50,000 or so nerve receptors. This means that sex is not gonna be the same, sorry fellas, but when my woman is rubbing my head and not stimulating my foreskin, it just doesn't feel the same, feels like something is missing.
- UsmanB87, on 08/01/2008, -7/+11I thought there was medical reason...It helps reduce the transmission of disease/infection.
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheets/circum ...- docbob84, on 08/02/2008, -1/+2Yeah, not so much. I know, I know, your website is the CDC and mine is the rest of the world. But look at our government's record with regards to disease and sex. The HIV thing used to be accepted wisdom. Turns out, it's not so wise. Leave boys intact.
- SammyJr, on 08/02/2008, -0/+2Condoms, FTW!!
- UsmanB87, on 08/02/2008, -0/+1docbob84, it isn't just the U.S. government suggesting the above--the CDC website references multiple studies which aren't all government sponsored. There are studies from many U.S. universities, worldwide universities, and WHO which are showing a connection between male circumcision and reduced contraction of infection for the male.
- Kas70, on 08/02/2008, -9/+4I had my son circumcised and I stand by that decision. I'm not for making anyone feel bad for whatever choice they make for *their* son.
- thankyousir, on 08/02/2008, -0/+3you uncircumcised guys don't have to prove that you have better sex, it is a moot point for most of us anyways
- rhapsodisiac, on 08/02/2008, -1/+3Kas70:
You need to understand something vitally important, as anyone who doesn't understand it shouldn't be allowed to raise children.
"Their," in the familial sense, does NOT imply OWNERSHIP. It implies RELATION. You don't own "your" parents OR "your" children, and they don't own you. It's YOUR SON'S penis, and by no means does it belong to ANYONE but him. As a parent, you are a steward, not a slaveholder.
I can not for the life of me understand why it isn't legally mandatory to allow children to grow old enough to make their own decisions regarding cosmetic surgery.- Kas70, on 08/02/2008, -2/+2Rhapsodisiac:
You need to understand that parents have every right to make decisions for their children if they feel strongly that it is in their child's best interests. Now you may disagree with me, but you don't have the right to accuse me of "mutilating" my child for "cosmetic" reasons. I happen to still believe that there are sound hygienic reasons why this safe and centuries old procedure ought to still be performed. You, and apparently quite a few people who are digging me down, don't agree and that's alright.
For the record, the day my son was circumcised, nearly 19 years ago, was a difficult day for both of us. He got over it and healed very quickly. As a young man now, he is happy I had it done...and that's good enough for me. - SammyJr, on 08/02/2008, -1/+2@Kas70, belief has no place in a doctor's office or hospital. What you believe is irrelevent. Proper, ethical care is what matters. The statements of all major pediatrics organizations from around the world say that circumcision is not a good idea and their opinions are grounded in science. Since newborn circumcision is not supported by medical evidence, it becomes a cosmetic procedure and no ethical doctor should perform purely cosmetic procedures on newborns or minors.
- Kas70, on 08/02/2008, -2/+1I stand by my decision and respect your right to decide what you feel is best for your own children.
- Kas70, on 08/02/2008, -2/+2Rhapsodisiac:
- fudged71, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1the decline in circumcisions is way smaller in the united states than it is in most of the world. Seems like people in the US have not changed their minds over the years, unlike other countries.
- macbookhair, on 08/01/2008, -50/+14because it looks better... ask any woman
- Cheeseburgers, on 08/01/2008, -47/+8How is babby formed?
How is babby formed?
How girl get pragnent?- po43292, on 08/01/2008, -1/+23Hopefully not by you.
- veijeri, on 08/02/2008, -0/+2I feel sorry for everyone who did not get this.
- BXRWXR, on 08/01/2008, -6/+94They left out C-Sections.
Fail.- rhartman, on 08/01/2008, -8/+2Spot on BXR. While a caesarian may not be a "natural" birth, they are starting to be the norm rather than the exception because they are less traumatic on child and mother both. Plus you get to avoid that whole, vagina tearing and pooping in the hospital bed thing. :O
- dood, on 08/01/2008, -0/+10I heard it's not so much that it's less traumatic on child and mother, but more easily controlled and managed by the doctor. No waiting for labor, no turning the baby, etc, just cut the mom up and pull the baby out, next patient!
- SpectralSounds, on 08/01/2008, -1/+7Less traumatic? You should have heard my wife in the operating room. I starting feeling a little woozy myself just listening to the noises, and imagining what was going on behind that curtain.
My daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me though. I can't imagine life without her. - ayiticherie, on 08/01/2008, -1/+6Less traumatic. Are you serious? I think you need to read up on the complications of cesareans versus childbirth. Why would anyone seek this procedure is beyond me. They are supposed to be for MEDICAL EMERGENCIES.
- sunkist22, on 08/02/2008, -0/+6It was way less traumatic for me. You try giving birth to a 10lb baby naturally and take an hour and a half to be sewn back together and we'll see how much you beg for a c-section. A lot of women I talked to said c-Section was awful... I dont know... it was painless during the procedure... uncomfortable yes, and I was up and around WAY faster than after my first 'natural' child birth experience.
- notanidiot, on 08/01/2008, -1/+40Yeah, my wife got a c-section with our child, and let me tell you, I saw her get chopped open as she lay there awake, and they would do this thing where they'd cut, and then grab the sides of the incision and yank to stretch open the incision, then cut more. I saw several layers of fat as a cross-section, which would squirt out blood periodically which they would suck up into this metal tube thing. I saw them from the side digging around her insides as she lay there, her face looking confused as hell.
THANK GOD that I did that instead of witnessing the stuff in the article. It wasn't so bad, actually pretty neat.- Namco, on 08/01/2008, -2/+33Damn. Wow. Oh *****!
- RUFuKinCrazy, on 08/01/2008, -0/+25You left out the part where the baby is all covered in a chalky substance (none of which was wiped off traveling thru the birth canal). When I first saw that, I thought my child had some sort of freakish skin disorder or something. I was greatly relieved when the "baby team" took over and wiped the baby down to reveal regualar skin under all that chalky crap. Definitely something they could have mentioned up front!
- soulkitchen, on 08/01/2008, -0/+6Kinda crazy that you've seen your wife's internal organs...Whats that like?
- Shogi, on 08/02/2008, -2/+1Just hope she doesn't get jealous.
- sunkist22, on 08/02/2008, -1/+2Mostly the woman just feels lots of weird pressure and tugging. It was the easier of my 2 births. Still scary to go under a knife and not feel your feet for hours. But worth it.
- j33pn, on 08/02/2008, -0/+4Yeah, seriously. My wife ended up having an emergency C-section with our first. I had a pretty general knowledge of the operation... cut, remove baby, remove placenta, sow it all up.
the part that blew me away was after the placenta was removed, they went and pulled a third big purple thing out. I think the anesthesiologist saw my confused / concerned expression. He says, "that's the uterus." WTF! Why is it sitting on my wife's stomach? Apparently they have to clean it out a bit.
My wife, a little groggy, asks, "What's happening?"
"I'll tell you later," is all I could say. I was holding a camera, I could have taken a picture of it.
The second time around, there was a lot more pulling involved in getting the baby out. I have an image burned in my head of this nurse lady pulling the incision gap open. I mean pulling as hard as she can, getting up on my wifes chest to get a better grip. My wife could feel something through the pain killers. She kept commenting that she 'felt a little pressure' or something to that effect, like she was letting us know that something might not be right. (they put up a curtain so your wife can't really see the action) Meanwhile everyone in the room, maybe 10 people b/c we had students observing, are watching this little lady (not degrading her, she was short) work up a sweat tugging and pulling on my wife's body.
Overall though, the birth experience is nothing new. It's intense, but it's manageable. Thank God I have had two healthy children. Our children's births cost us maybe $500 and $1,000 b/c we had switched health insurance plans between the two. That was in 2002 and 2007 respectively.
One thing about the $10k figure... When my wife was in labor the first time, there wa a lot of waiting. Just watching the screen of the baby monitor mentioned in TFA. On the monitor you can see contractions, for your room and other rooms on the ward. I asked her why there 5 monitors on the floor with no contractions. The nurse told me they were for ladies who were not in labor but were put on bed rest.
This is another secret of pregnancy. It is not unusual for a pregnant woman to spend a month or more in the hospital on bed rest and under observation. I asked the nurse how anyone could afford that... some of these ladies are in the hospital for weeks. She told me that the $10k price covered your stay, whether it took 1 day or two months. That seemed reasonable to me to defray the cost over all the births. - xonahuia, on 08/02/2008, -4/+1Post this video on youtube or it didin't happen!!!
- gigigugit, on 08/01/2008, -6/+0Check this out about C-sections...
http://youngvesalius.blogspot.com/2008/07/babies.h ...- superguysteve, on 08/01/2008, -0/+3no thanks.
- itsripitsrip, on 08/01/2008, -11/+7c-sections are much cleaner and not nearly as gross as natural birth.
- ayiticherie, on 08/01/2008, -5/+8Its a shame when people start to view natural events as abnormal and something that should be reserved as medical emergencies as normal. It is no wonder that the world is going to hell in a handbasket.
- jesusfresh, on 08/01/2008, -2/+5just because it comes from nature doesn't make it magically great. cancer, ebola, tooth decay...we can find all sorts of natural things we not only find abnormal but want to avoid...
- sabortijuana, on 08/02/2008, -3/+4But c-sections interrupt the natural flow of hormones in natural birth. Hormones such as oxytocin aren't released, and that can affect the bonding between new mother and baby. Women gave birth without doctors for hundreds of years with no problem...
If you want to learn more, find the movie "The Business of Being Born" http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/
If I ever decide to have kids, I'm getting a midwife. $5k for the whole shebang--prenatal care and the actual birthing. Cheaper, safer (if it's already a low-risk pregnancy), and better for mothers/babies. - docbob84, on 08/02/2008, -2/+2You may do that for the first one Sabor. I don't respect you until you do it twice. Not saying you won't, but until you do the tough gal act is empty.
Women did indeed give birth for millions of years with no problem. Women also lost more than half of their babies during the first year of life, and it was much more common for both the mom AND the baby to die during child birth. If you get a midwife, PLEASE make sure she knows what she's doing. If your baby is in breech position or, even worse, the arm is coming first, they have to be moved by someone who knows what they are doing. You can't just push harder and expect the baby to come out ok (well, maybe breech), and they can change position at any time up until they actually enter the birth canal. - itsripitsrip, on 08/02/2008, -0/+6what you have to take into consideration is how many babies/*future* mothers died in the process of childbirth. MOST of the time c-sections are done in emergencies, not for the fun factor.
- ayiticherie, on 08/03/2008, -0/+2docbob84
There are women, including myself, who have used midwives for each of their pregnancies and their children are perfectly fine. To say that Sabor should seek a midwife "that knows what she is doing" is condescending to say the least. Midwives have been delivering babies for centuries and they are certified and licensed in this male dominated birthing industry. They are not some random woman that you pull out of some back alley to deliver babies. I think that you should encourage people to be as equally skeptical of doctors and hospitals. Research the amount/percentage of c-section rate of your hospital/doctor. The United States is one of the few countries with skyrocketing c-section rates in the world. Compare this with the c-section rates of countries in Europe and research. - spaceddaisy, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1I don't understand all this praise for c-sections.
The risks for something happening to mother and child during a c-section is about four times higher than with natural child birth. You also raise the risk of post partum depression.
It's considered major surgery. And for a reason! It takes weeks if not months for your body to fully recover. Yeah you might feel better after a week or two, but it's in no way completely healed by then. Just because it goes pretty quick doesn't mean it's some risk-free surgery.
Maybe it's because I'm from the Netherlands and we all view birth differently (we can't ask for epidurals, we only get them if the doctor says we need them, we can't ask for a c-section, only a doctor can offer you one if medically needed), and much more women have a natural birth.
- itsripitsrip, on 08/02/2008, -7/+9i dunno why i'm being dug down.
i worked in surgery for two years and witnessed several natural births and cesarean sections.
all i tried to say was that the overall "cleanliness" factor is much higher in a c-section. you have a scar afterwards but i was talking about the actual birth itself. i never said that someone should get a c-section because it's not as gross.
see it's people like you (ayiticherie) that make no sense. a baby comes out of someones vaj and you say it's "beautiful". the ***** baby is purple and has a yellowy-green slime on it and looks like it had it's faced pressed up against the walls of someones uterus. oh wait. it did. it's not a pretty sight.
*edit*
and now i see why you said that. you're a 32 year old woman (who would argue to the death that childbirth is the most beautiful and painful thing in the world). keep your biased opinions to yourself.- sunkist22, on 08/02/2008, -0/+2I agree. child birth is in no way beautiful. I forbid my husband to video tape anything or take pictures of... that area... I dont want to see it. And he turned quite green when the doctors let him peek.
If someone was to go all 'new age' on me and talk about 'beautiful' and 'miraculous' during either procedure... I might have dropped kicked them. Epidural or not. I am so happy both babies are healthy and NOW they are beautiful, but childbirth I could live without if at all possible :)
hard to call anything beautiful when the doctors and nurses keep sticking their fingers in places that you normally wouldn't let a stranger put them. - basye, on 08/02/2008, -2/+3Well, I've done both and honestly would take a C-section again any day of the week. Nice and neat, scheduled and controlled. Perfectly shaped little heads.
- ayiticherie, on 08/03/2008, -0/+1Oh please. Read my comments itsripitsrip. I never said it was painless. I said SOME people experience painless childbirth. And I never said the process was beautiful. The end product is. Reread my comments. What I AM against is UNNECESSARY c-sections. Your apology is accepted. Thank You. :)
- ayiticherie, on 08/03/2008, -0/+1I agree sunkist. I don't know why you would want someone poking a video camera, particularly your husband, in your face when you're trying to push a baby out of your nether regions is beyond me but again to each his own!
- sunkist22, on 08/02/2008, -0/+2I agree. child birth is in no way beautiful. I forbid my husband to video tape anything or take pictures of... that area... I dont want to see it. And he turned quite green when the doctors let him peek.
- SharkyTech, on 08/03/2008, -0/+2"6 Terrifying Things They Don't Tell You About Childbirth"
Most people know about C-Sections, therefore it doesn't really qualify for the list.
- rhartman, on 08/01/2008, -8/+2Spot on BXR. While a caesarian may not be a "natural" birth, they are starting to be the norm rather than the exception because they are less traumatic on child and mother both. Plus you get to avoid that whole, vagina tearing and pooping in the hospital bed thing. :O
- BryanTravers, on 08/01/2008, -5/+25I couldn't make it to the end.
- jave8u, on 08/01/2008, -1/+3Seriously, I stopped halfway through number 5
- Disease, on 08/01/2008, -0/+9You're not ready to be fathers.
- docbob84, on 08/02/2008, -0/+1How do you know they're fathers? Maybe they're mothers and decided "Nope, take the bastard back!" I can see it happening ;)
- lovecss, on 08/01/2008, -0/+30My God... you masturbated over this? What the hell is wrong with you?!
- fuzzybeard, on 08/02/2008, -2/+1Wuss. I was right beside my wife the whole time both times we were in L/D. Number one was a normal vaginal birth; Number two was an emergency C-section. They had a heard time finding scrubs that would fit me (6'6", 300# at the time, thankyouverymuch!).
- jave8u, on 08/01/2008, -1/+3Seriously, I stopped halfway through number 5
- billizm, on 08/01/2008, -0/+50The hospital bill was definitely the most terrifying part of my wife's birth. For me anyway - not her.
- backseatchris, on 08/01/2008, -0/+17Yeah I work at a hospital, And if you have twins (or more) may god help you. Some of the bills between the babies and the mother can reach upwards of $300k. Thats mainly because the more babies you have at once the more premature they are. Succcks
- AmICoolNow, on 08/02/2008, -0/+1Really? *****, I'm a twin, I didn't even know.
- zydeco, on 08/01/2008, -0/+17This article is way off. I just had a baby girl 12 weeks ago, straight delivery no complications or C-sections, and the tab was $20K, not $10K.
- magicdiablo, on 08/01/2008, -4/+13Join the military, it's free. Had my daughter on base, didn't pay a dime. And that was with my ex having a c-section.
- inigomntoya, on 08/01/2008, -8/+6@Magicdiablo - I commend you for protecting our country and for making sacrifices everyday to protect the freedom of others. But, I wouldn't suggest free health care as a reason to join the military. There are other options and greater reasons for becoming a soldier. I'm just sayin...
- sockpuppets, on 08/01/2008, -0/+16I just go to the hospital and borrow someone else's baby, it's much cheaper. I wear a Brad Pitt mask and they hand one right to me.
- smashhell, on 08/02/2008, -2/+2@ inigomntoya - And there are even more reason to not to become a soldier, such as not killing other human being and world peace .... =/
- feellife, on 08/02/2008, -0/+1@ smashhell - Not all people in the military kill other people. Some of them are just IT guys working on computers. Aside from that, it is a country's government (and sometimes the citizens of a country) that cause wars and fights that lead to people's deaths. The people in the military are just trying to make a living and protect their families and country, but they have to follow the orders that their government gives them unless the citizens stop the government from making such orders.
- xonahuia, on 08/04/2008, -0/+2I see, socialized health care is fine for those in the military but not for the taxpayers of this country who foot the medical expenses for the troops
- yesplease151, on 08/02/2008, -4/+1I worked at a hospital and my first baby cost me $7 total (phone bill). I could have gotten that waived, but what the hell...
My next one due in Sept. will be a different story since I have moved on to another company. - docbob84, on 08/02/2008, -0/+0You were there when your wife was born? That's kinda sick...
- backseatchris, on 08/01/2008, -0/+17Yeah I work at a hospital, And if you have twins (or more) may god help you. Some of the bills between the babies and the mother can reach upwards of $300k. Thats mainly because the more babies you have at once the more premature they are. Succcks
- sapphire9488, on 08/01/2008, -2/+10I've been by the side of two friends when they were in labor, one when she was giving birth & it's pretty frightening! There's so many gross things that happen to your body being pregnant and having babies, but it's all natural and every mother alive went through mostly the same experiences. I'm looking forward to be a mom, but still apprehensive about all that goes into child birth. Of course it is all worth it!
- wing05, on 08/01/2008, -0/+3I'm a guy with a three kid family.
I still have to wonder why it was my wife wanted to do this three times... what drives a woman's maternal instinct to squeeze children out. At least, after the first one, births are lickety split fast.- RedReplicant, on 08/01/2008, -0/+8"births are lickety split fast"
The reason for that makes me sad. - wing05, on 08/01/2008, -0/+1Heh.
Me too... somewhat...
However, you can't beat third trimester libido. - xonahuia, on 08/02/2008, -1/+2If you ever divorce her, she'll take you to the cleaners
- RedReplicant, on 08/01/2008, -0/+8"births are lickety split fast"
- RobotBuddha, on 08/01/2008, -3/+11"but it's all natural"
Natural is the majority of the people reading this having died from disease, birth, and a myriad of other things long before now. Nature is heart attacks, strokes, and families weeping for lost loved ones. ***** nature. - GassyTurd, on 08/01/2008, -10/+4No it isn't. Having kids is incredibly selfish in this day and age. They also destroy your finances and social life.
- Atomic1fire, on 08/01/2008, -3/+4But you share money with them, you share food with them, you share a house with them
I'm pretty sure parents are not selfish - xonahuia, on 08/02/2008, -0/+3I was a bratty kid so no way am I going to give birth to more brats!!!
- Atomic1fire, on 08/01/2008, -3/+4But you share money with them, you share food with them, you share a house with them
- TheShad0w, on 08/01/2008, -0/+5Yea. Even as a guy. I think I'll just avoid this.
- H4n90fThur5D4y5, on 08/01/2008, -2/+3Wow, you're a lot braver than I am. Adoption FTW.
- wing05, on 08/01/2008, -0/+3I'm a guy with a three kid family.
- Aslan72, on 08/01/2008, -11/+214buried as inaccurate. Mom always said I came from a stork!
- RealmDown, on 08/01/2008, -0/+50You misunderstood. She said, "you came from a PORK."
- smartguy4932, on 08/04/2008, -0/+1Heyooooooooooo!!!
- GassyTurd, on 08/01/2008, -5/+47Your mom ***** a stork? Kinky bitch.
- lovecss, on 08/01/2008, -0/+27"Lady, you and I are gonna *make* the baby"
- Drugx2, on 08/02/2008, -5/+4dugg for the family guy reference :)
- djqxero, on 08/01/2008, -3/+19Woman: Oh thank godness! The stork! Umm...where's the baby?
Stork: Honey, you and I are gonna MAKE the baby - mrzeero, on 08/01/2008, -1/+3Teach the controversy!
- RealmDown, on 08/01/2008, -0/+50You misunderstood. She said, "you came from a PORK."
- seandfeeney, on 08/01/2008, -21/+2How many people stopped after reading the first page?
- ninepointfive, on 08/01/2008, -0/+19only you, pansy
- freedomhater, on 08/01/2008, -7/+59We had to watch a full-blown birthing in grade 9. That ***** was traumatizing. It didn't help that the women was a fat cow.
- Antz0rz, on 08/01/2008, -0/+16why is this familiar.
also i didnt eat anything for the rest of that day. - lisaawesome, on 08/01/2008, -0/+34I saw it too. I really think they need to keep showing that over and over to those idiot 15 year old girls who want babies.
- FadieZ, on 08/01/2008, -0/+12You mean these?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRdJ49ItMnc - danielsamuels, on 08/02/2008, -0/+1Is there part 2 of that anywhere?
- FadieZ, on 08/01/2008, -0/+12You mean these?
- evilregis, on 08/01/2008, -0/+61Our teacher played it in reverse when it was over. That was way cooler.
- inigomntoya, on 08/01/2008, -1/+5Projectors - FTW
- backseatchris, on 08/01/2008, -0/+6We had the same thing happen to us in 9th grade back in highschool. Except this was a birth in some 3rd world country and the birthing went wrong and the cord was around the neck and the docs lacked the necessary tools etc.
Long story short, it was a painful, repulsive, messy experience. Only good thing that came out of that video is that it made me change my specialty for med school when i thought back about it a few years ago. - dlllb, on 08/01/2008, -0/+2Same here... They called it sex education but i'm not so sure... I was scarred for life.
- kylejn, on 08/01/2008, -0/+1We watched it in 9th biology. Fortunately, all I remember is that there was a mess of hair, limbs, and blood.
- Antz0rz, on 08/01/2008, -0/+16why is this familiar.
- sinkhead, on 08/01/2008, -6/+43Item #1 on the list doesn't apply in the UK.
Yay.- Smokeydabear, on 08/01/2008, -27/+2Or number six, don't you sick bastards eat that thing?
- sinkhead, on 08/01/2008, -2/+25No, we don't.
- notanidiot, on 08/01/2008, -6/+6Omnomnomnom.
- TimFrost, on 08/01/2008, -1/+9That would be Indians, so lets not call anyone a sick bastard when you don't even know if what you're saying about the culture is right. Weird dog-eating freak...
- dan0964, on 08/01/2008, -3/+19Why are people digging sinkhead down, Its true.
- Erythroxylum, on 08/01/2008, -6/+14Oh yeah, healthcare is totally free here. The doctors, nurses, hospital builders, supports staff and people from pharmaceutical companies all lend their services pro bono, their only reward being the smile (or pale horror after reading this) on your face.
- digggggggggg, on 08/01/2008, -11/+6And while we're being facetious, healthcare here in the states is simply amazing because it's _not_ free! Our "have insurance or be in debt for the rest of your life" system simply works because it's not based on intangible things like smiles.
- docbob84, on 08/02/2008, -0/+0Dude, if I could practice medicine knowing that every patient I saw was going to have the same look of pale horror that most men have when they watch either a C-section OR a vaginal birth, I would live in a cardboard box. So worth it.
- DarthDiabetes, on 08/01/2008, -1/+5You don't get a hospital bill in Canada either. There's a common misconception that socialized healthcare is free. It's not. It's more like mandatory health insurance that everyone pays. Sucks if you never get sick, have a baby, get in a car accident or need some minor plastic surgery to recover from a Pizza Pocket incident. For the rest of us that do need to go to the hospital at least once in our lives, the v
- Smokeydabear, on 08/01/2008, -27/+2Or number six, don't you sick bastards eat that thing?
