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Digg Users Hate Everything; Bury Internet

freeasspress.com — COMEDY--Great article about the trials and tribulations of trying to get on the front page of Digg!

Bury
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  • sunwoman, on 07/07/2008, -19/+91I'm lovin' it! OH THE POWER!
    • unravelled, on 07/07/2008, -2/+14Digg algorithm hates everything. Digg users follow each other. Original and interesting content continues to dwell in the black hole that lies between upcoming and popular.
    • DroogInPhoenix, on 07/08/2008, -5/+2More Britney Spears and Amy Winohouse articles please!
    • AudioDan, on 07/08/2008, -1/+6f**king lame sh*t written by a 12-year-old.
    • Jorry7, on 07/08/2008, -1/+0Digg! FTW
  • yourpalchris, on 07/07/2008, -23/+466Inaccurate. Boring. BURIED.

    Just kidding.

    Great article.
    • CutlassSoupReam, on 07/07/2008, -16/+43Everyone knows that the NASDAQ dropped 46.99999999998 percent, not 47 percent. Plus, this was on the front page three minutes ago. Buried to make room for a real article.
    • themastersb, on 07/07/2008, -11/+3This article is blog spam. Burried.
    • coolcash2005, on 07/08/2008, -8/+1Ya. I was a little disappointed though that this wasn't one of those graveyard comment threads where everything gets dugg down.
    • yuanzhoulu, on 07/08/2008, -2/+8so somebody ***** do something about it! i want this digg friends concept abolished and everyone required to use the 'upcoming' section to see what's new. that's what i call fair chance to the front page.
  • becurious, on 07/07/2008, -35/+26ha-ha! you're right!
  • spoonboy, on 07/07/2008, -28/+362Should've asked Mr.Babyman to submit it. Would've been on the FP instantly.
    • redscofield, on 07/07/2008, -8/+230he'll just repost this in 30 minutes and bury the original...
    • HxChris91, on 07/07/2008, -19/+2Is he still around?
    • kleash, on 07/07/2008, -2/+52Now we all know where his icon came from
    • Majjoodi, on 07/08/2008, -6/+2Dugg for the correct use of "have".
  • alllo, on 07/07/2008, -15/+150The photo was taken from one of my recent submissions http://digg.com/odd_stuff/Don_t_bury_me_sign
    the story got 276 DIGGS but failed tho reach the FP...
    Moreover the source was banned from DIGG....
    Anyway thank you for the article...
    Good read!
    • yourpalchris, on 07/07/2008, -5/+4Just read your submission from above and the comments. Hilarious! The Jabba the Hutt reference was the best one.
    • AWBoy666, on 07/07/2008, -9/+23This article got over 600 diggs in 2 days (now 800 in 4) and didn't make it:

      http://digg.com/comedy/Woman_explained_Scientifica ...

      Digg admins selectively choose which stories to promote to the front page. Some make it in 50, some never make it no matter how many they get.

      This one (my submission) had over 200 in TWO HOURS and didn't make it: http://digg.com/health/50_Things_guys_wish_girls_k ...

      Digg censors they content just like any other site. Time to just accept it.
      • ThinkBox, on 07/07/2008, -1/+5I saw that on a napkin in the 6th grade in 1997
      • Seafea, on 07/07/2008, -3/+8Why are half-decade old e-mail forward jokes front-page worthy?

        I'd prefer they keep stuff like that off the front page.
      • Vhaeos, on 07/07/2008, -4/+6You do know that the admins don't decide on each story, right? That's ridiculous. It's all decided by an algorithm, automatically.
      • Gizza, on 07/08/2008, -3/+3If censoring means they keep ***** like that off the FP then I'm all for it.
      • LethalJizzle, on 07/08/2008, -0/+1I remember seeing that 50 things guys wish girls knew on diggnation ages ago, so either you made it eventually or someone beat you.
      • MavRevMatt, on 07/08/2008, -5/+2@Seafea, that's not the point. Digg is supposed to be about the community deciding what is important, not some admin.
        @Vhaeos, you're really ignorant aren't you?
      • Vhaeos, on 07/08/2008, -2/+4@MavRevMatt
        So all the stories on digg are chosen by editors and not by an algorithm? It's done by an algorithm, it's not about the most diggs, either. Especially not now that it takes into account who is friends with who, etc.

        What's ignorant?
  • luv2sor, on 07/07/2008, -12/+33This deserves the FP!
  • acmaurer, on 07/07/2008, -10/+37Hilarious because it's so true. Thanks for the early morning laugh!
  • Fangsinmybeard, on 07/07/2008, -11/+15Those who buried the important stuff should BREATHE STUPID, because thats is how one gets to live.
  • dsoleil, on 07/07/2008, -9/+76This is like therapy. "My name is Bob and I've buried 4 times since our last meeting." Great stuff.
    • PoonGnarfler, on 07/08/2008, -0/+2"My name is Joe and I just buried the comment "ha-ha! you're right!" by becurious (see above) because it is selfish and no one wants to read your actual opinion on digg, only funny puns and sexual references."
  • richmcl, on 07/07/2008, -10/+30so, people will go out tonight?
  • AmyVernon, on 07/07/2008, -9/+25good stuff. love the fondue pot guy.
  • HookmasterCH47, on 07/07/2008, -10/+47NASDAQ is lame
  • Lucas123, on 07/07/2008, -15/+176From the article: "The New York Times covered the NASDAQ story and tried to post it, but Digg users immediately buried the article for being inaccurate, boring and older than eight seconds."

    My experience has been the opposite. Digg users vote up dumb-ass photos and videos posted by top users as well as some stories older than a petrified forest, but bury anything outside of a niche of far left-wing stories. What Digg needs is more diversity.

    I'm not a big McCain supporter but you'd think he was Adolf Hitler based on the content on Digg. I've seen a few disparaging stories about Obama, but the VAST majority canonize him.
    • GonePostal77, on 07/07/2008, -15/+3Satire dude. Satire
    • EatingPie, on 07/07/2008, -2/+71Satire used to make a point though.

      And I absolutely agree with the lack of diversity here. I am often challenging the mainstream ideologies on digg with my comments. Not because I'm liberal or conservative, but because I hope people will think beyond the same-old-same-old on Digg, PARTICULARLY in regard to politics. As you say, Digg has all but Canonized Obama, and vilified McCain (and Bush).

      In other mediums, I'm pretty sure this would be called *propaganda*. And I think the term applies here on Digg as well.

      -Pie
      • celkin, on 07/07/2008, -9/+1*obligatory post criticizing your sig*

        -ce
      • caseycoold, on 07/10/2008, -0/+1Whenever I read though the comments (and I try to always go from top to bottom, reading them all as I go) I see each side of the debate, usually split between the top and the bottom: +100 for the for a liberal near the top, and the conservative reply buried at -20, but 3/4 down the page, a liberal comment is buried and the conservative comments are dug up.
    • deadlogic, on 07/07/2008, -5/+23I agree. I think both political candidates should be ripped to shreds. They're both power-hungry money grubbing whores. Unfortunately people cannot seem to pull their heads out of their respective political candidate's crotch long enough to come up for air and allow enough oxygen to get to their brains to allow for something resembling a thought process to start to develop.

      If they did, maybe they would be a bit more skeptical and not swallow everything that comes their way.
      • Aorawn, on 07/07/2008, -8/+2The media rips Obama to shreds, Digg rips McCain to shreds. It creates a balance type thing, you know?
      • EatingPie, on 07/07/2008, -2/+2Aorawn, you don't read the New York Times, I take it.

        -Pie
      • swrostmore, on 07/07/2008, -0/+3NY Times editorial, July 4th 2008:
        "New and Not Improved"
        Barack Obama’s shifts are striking because he was the candidate who proposed to change the face of politics. Yet now there seems to be a new Mr. Obama...etc etc

        -Pie
      • celkin, on 07/07/2008, -1/+3These comments suck.

        -Pie
    • neuen, on 07/07/2008, -2/+15I'm just glad someone has said well what many have been thinking. Diversity is definitely a good thing. Like an old wooden ship.
      • RockeN5, on 07/07/2008, -0/+9Ron, I don't think the network cares about the lack of an old wooden ship.
    • grahamvinyl, on 07/07/2008, -2/+4Holy crap you didn't sign this post.
    • AWBoy666, on 07/07/2008, -8/+7Republicans have better things to do like make money and procreate while liberals whine in their parents' basements.

      Seriously, that's why everything on Digg is leftist. They waste more time in the upcoming stories section.
      • EricSchC1, on 07/07/2008, -5/+6"Hater? Hater, party of 1. Your table is ready"
      • Vibratic, on 07/08/2008, -1/+14/10
      • birdly, on 07/08/2008, -0/+3I know the perfect job for you, AWBoy666:
        Prostitution!
        Make money! Procreate! Make the world a little bit colder for everyone!
  • GonePostal77, on 07/07/2008, -9/+26Pfft, everyone knows that Digg users are the most qualified to judge what is funny, newsworthy, or of any abject value. Why, without Digg we'd never know that the 2008 Baseball All-Star Teams have been picked. I mean, where else but Digg would you find that?

    Great article guys. Keep 'em coming.
    • Ilyanep, on 07/07/2008, -6/+5Yay for not displaying sports stories on FP :)
  • kathcom, on 07/07/2008, -12/+13I tried so hard to get my Twitter Tragedy fake news post to go popular, it was pathetic. I finally got over 100 Diggs, then learned it had taken too long. I just didn't have the right stuff. At least it will never be important enough to be "disappeared" by Digg.

    This, however, deserves the front page. Great writing!
  • RicardoWilliams, on 07/07/2008, -15/+8Lawl.
  • life38, on 07/07/2008, -7/+10This post was the same as Allo's which got buried. To bad it depends on the poster.
    • yourpalchris, on 07/07/2008, -0/+4This post is totally different from allo's (which was great, btw).
  • kineticworm, on 07/07/2008, -18/+124"don't bury me, bro!"
    • xptoast, on 07/07/2008, -1/+7T-Shirt to be made... :)
      • Shadow503, on 07/07/2008, -0/+7Shout me the link once it's done.
      • dabura, on 07/08/2008, -5/+1The prince of Nigeria already mass-produce this epic Ts!
        Get yours today for only $19.99+ S/H
        Epic Edition with logo of MrBabyman will be available for $99.99!
        Please send your credit card number to diggdeezenuts@gmail.com
      • xptoast, on 07/08/2008, -0/+7Shadow...I couldn't send you a shout cuase you only allow added friends to. Here is the link though.

        http://www.cafepress.com/lucidthought/5748300

        I made it just for you dude. I like making fun stuff for people:)

        I will update the image for black and dark shirts later when I can. Send me a shout or reply to this if you want a dark colored shirt made. Sweet fun. I should buy one too lol.
      • xptoast, on 07/08/2008, -0/+2Just so people know...I don't make a dime off that design. I made the markup price for that shirt $0. I designed it just for the diggers:)
  • hydratedsquash, on 07/07/2008, -11/+3Comments Failure>1
  • noupsell, on 07/07/2008, -12/+4Buried as Ham j/k
  • wildfire, on 07/07/2008, -9/+76Okay, it's settled, lets use Digg for porn.
    • Uberinuka, on 07/07/2008, -2/+62nd comment ive ever actually lol'd on, you made my day
    • digitallysick, on 07/08/2008, -0/+5Sounds good, reddit has a NSFW section that is very nice ;)
    • Knucklecallus, on 07/08/2008, -3/+4Anything submitted under the porn sub-sections of "Fetish" and "Interracial rape" should automatically be buried. Goodbye 95% of all porn, you never had a chance...
      • BladeMelbourne, on 07/08/2008, -0/+2Not all fetishes should be buried.
        What's wrong with gothic ladies in black leather?
  • Red1Delta, on 07/07/2008, -8/+67Digg is one huge hate machine
    • Cornfedhusker, on 07/07/2008, -0/+8I thought that was 4chan -er... nevermind.
  • papastout, on 07/07/2008, -12/+25My god, what have I become??
  • SoopaflySAM, on 07/07/2008, -9/+35Buried for buried
  • username7410, on 07/07/2008, -11/+74How does this crap make it to the front page? BURIED.
  • thenativeraver, on 07/07/2008, -18/+8Buried.
  • Pittance, on 07/07/2008, -9/+132Buried as completely unfunny and ***** lame ***** written by a 12-year-old.
  • backslashdigg, on 07/07/2008, -22/+7OMNOMNOMNOMNOM
    • backslashdigg, on 07/07/2008, -2/+15I knew I should have went with **** the RIAA...
      • kraetos, on 07/07/2008, -1/+7It's okay, you can swear on the internet.
      • celkin, on 07/07/2008, -1/+7***** THE RIAA!!!

        /doing it wrong
      • Acglaphotis, on 07/08/2008, -0/+4om nom nom nom is only apropiate when something is eating something. ***** the riaa is always appropiate.
  • tykwondingo, on 07/07/2008, -7/+29Dugg for thought of burying internets :D
  • Infidelcastr0, on 07/07/2008, -7/+49Buried as hilarious.
  • Fleagleman, on 07/07/2008, -13/+0Please tell me this is not some guy submitting a story on his own blog. Or, perhaps the subject makes him think this story is immune from getting buried? Think again.
  • mlbwebdesign, on 07/07/2008, -11/+5Buried for not pluralizing Internets.

    :)
  • Grova, on 07/07/2008, -11/+5Epic?
  • liquidmetalband, on 07/07/2008, -9/+50Digg sucks.
    • 1timeuser, on 07/07/2008, -3/+21and yet we keep using it.
    • xptoast, on 07/07/2008, -11/+4Some women suck...yet we keep using them...:)
      • Nistelrooy, on 07/08/2008, -1/+6Yeah digg is like a bad hooker; its a terrible experience but it feels soo good!
      • BladeMelbourne, on 07/08/2008, -2/+1Women are like napkins you know - use them then throw them away...
  • slyzxx, on 07/07/2008, -12/+6Buried because i hate it.
  • ElBeh, on 07/07/2008, -7/+54It would have been more awesome if this thread was a Digg Graveyard.
    • kibbets, on 07/08/2008, -2/+12do i click the thumbs up or the thumbs down on you........... can't decide!!!
  • GinsuGuy585, on 07/07/2008, -9/+9Buried in solidarity.
  • fictionalOne, on 07/07/2008, -7/+52Buried as inaccurate because, according to a blog I read, only 99.9% of the internet was buried at the time.
  • Ilyanep, on 07/07/2008, -9/+10Who needs net neutrality when you're underground?
  • RATM4EVER, on 07/07/2008, -6/+14Damn, websense wins again.

    I guess I'll hang around until all the comments start getting buried or something interesting develops like a new meme, new ASCII characters, Bill O'Reilly quotes, or the latest craze, upside down text.
  • jjcyber, on 07/07/2008, -15/+12Lol, dugg for being insanely accurate. Bring on the Obama articles!
  • ansatsu29, on 07/07/2008, -13/+9Especially if you have been buried by the "Bury Brigade" (LOL) just joking.

    That's how it goes as well as the cliche "You just cant please everybody on the INTERNET".

    Anyways, its a great writeup though. I appreciate the hilarity.
  • myFriendDerrik, on 07/07/2008, -14/+10http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Navel-gazing
    • backslashdigg, on 07/07/2008, -2/+4WTF?
    • jaythewise, on 07/07/2008, -4/+3Hes saying digg is full of self-absorbed morons ...
      moron.
    • vexxefx, on 07/08/2008, -1/+1i'm not sure what that was, but it was brilliant
  • BoneheadFarker, on 07/07/2008, -11/+5Digg has a crack team? It all makes sense now...



    Don't Smoke Crack.
    • BladeMelbourne, on 07/08/2008, -1/+1Don't smoke crack, poke crack.
  • markwahlberg, on 07/07/2008, -13/+2buried for being boring
  • vinceislegend, on 07/07/2008, -12/+5No. ***** you guys. Dugg.
  • banido, on 07/07/2008, -12/+76Here's Rick Astley performing his song "Never Gonna Give You Up".
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI
    • Tyrghast, on 07/07/2008, -2/+10His 'hit single'.
    • vexingmodstwo, on 07/07/2008, -2/+14Well played.
    • MrMax182, on 07/07/2008, -3/+24I felt enforced to click it.
    • falafelkiosken, on 07/07/2008, -3/+36I thought it was the first reversed rick-roll ever
    • EwMo, on 07/08/2008, -1/+6I was in a mall yesterday and walked by Abercrombie, only to hear this song. I must admit that I did go in, but only to verify that it was indeed Rick. I was quite proud of some cynical geek who must've worked there.
    • TheLastEskimo, on 07/08/2008, -1/+4Dugg as accurate.
    • inos92, on 07/08/2008, -1/+4It's been so long since I was last rick-rolled, I felt a sudden urge to click.

      Haven't been dissapointed yet.
    • Acglaphotis, on 07/08/2008, -1/+4uuiU > oVI.
    • morpheus9602, on 07/08/2008, -6/+3I have to know............what is so great about Rick Astley?

      This song is like 20 years old, what is so popular about it?
    • CrazyEddie041, on 07/08/2008, -1/+5OMG WARNING: RICK ROLL!!!11!

      ... oh, wait.
  • SirPopper, on 07/07/2008, -8/+7"Buried to make room for a real article."

    Yeah some use it to get their monster diggs to the fp shame on you!
  • Odindon, on 07/07/2008, -13/+4 I don't hate everything , just all the stupid top (enter number here list) List.
    Top 7 reasons My cat Smells like Poop
    Top 10 Most Awesomest Left Handed guitarist this side of The Equator. (Awesomest was misspelled on purpose)
    • dsoleil, on 07/07/2008, -0/+8Your comment will be added to the top 10 articles digg haters hate. :-) Watch for it on the FP in about 6 hrs.
  • thegreenspanput, on 07/07/2008, -4/+3could have been funny... if they used different words.
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