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See the original image at theonion.com

Nation's Poorest 1% Now Controls Two-Thirds Of U.S. Soda Can

theonion.com — A report on growing disparities in the concentration of U.S. aluminum-can wealth, released Tuesday by the Department of Commerce, revealed that 66 percent of the nation's recyclable assets are now held by the poorest 1 percent of the population.

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  • goerg, on 05/23/2008, -4/+60by just reading the headline i knew this was theonion...
    • duke3k, on 05/23/2008, -1/+12well done, sherlock holmes
    • acatzr800, on 05/23/2008, -0/+4obvious rip off of homeless james bond
    • themastersb, on 05/23/2008, -1/+4What's a "soda can"? Do they mean "pop can"?
    • Hawk2007, on 05/23/2008, -0/+2Totally missed the part that it was from the onion and it would explain why the article didn't make one damn bit of economic sense.
  • RudeTurnip, on 05/23/2008, -4/+12Could you imagine the boom in the economy if these people could somehow get together?

    Oh crap...I need to look at the source more closely the next time I try to think to hard about the story.
  • JoWiGo, on 05/23/2008, -0/+30Someone should phone homeless James Bond.
    http://www.comedy.com/embed/homeless-james-bond
  • mvanhorn, on 05/23/2008, -1/+9I wish theonion had another domain that mirrored their articles but looked like a real newspaper so I could fool friends.. that would be awesome!
    • texpundit, on 05/23/2008, -2/+17They already have that: http://www.foxnews.com/

      ;-)
    • mediaphile, on 05/23/2008, -0/+7Most people are gullible enough to not notice anyway.
      • xanadu2113, on 05/23/2008, -0/+1haha i admit i was appalled for about 30 seconds until i realized it was the Onion
    • desqjockey, on 05/23/2008, -1/+3Copy the text of the story into an email and falsely attribute it to the AP. Its also fun to do that with real AP stories you can edit to your taste.
  • trm3446, on 05/23/2008, -1/+6I always knew that not recycling my aluminum-cans would help the homeless.
  • levelred, on 05/23/2008, -1/+6for some reason this would make sense...
  • jman8888, on 05/23/2008, -6/+8Quick Help us hillary, redistribrute the wealth.
    • BlackJackJester, on 05/23/2008, -1/+2yes! rob from the middle class and give to the corporations!
    • Blitzenn, on 05/23/2008, -0/+1so.... more of the same? ;)
  • itsgotyou, on 05/23/2008, -1/+6All they need to do is convince the World Bank to peg the value of an aluminum can at $5 for crimped and $8 for pristine condition.
  • kyyv, on 05/23/2008, -6/+5Soylent Green is people!
  • BorsKaegel, on 05/23/2008, -1/+3From the picture, that guy is making a run on the plastic industry, too.
  • Spade914, on 05/23/2008, -6/+1I thought this was legit.....silly onion! you got me again. what will you do next?
  • TheMachine1, on 05/23/2008, -0/+10I decided (for a few months) when I was walking my dogs I would try to pick up all the cans I saw. I have like 10 (crushed can) trash bags full of them. Not sure what there worth but I think I can make it as a hard working homeless person.
    • nesagwa, on 05/23/2008, -2/+3If you can find places that actually pay for aluminum anymore its pennies per pound, so not a whole lot.

      You might make 10 bucks.

      But hey, you cleaned up, thats worth something too.
    • hatchetbearer, on 05/23/2008, -0/+4actually, here its about 75 cents a pound. easy money when all you drink is beer and pop and have lots of byob parties at your place
    • Matt2k, on 05/23/2008, -0/+5Scrap aluminum around here is about 70-80 cents a pound. And it may have gone up since I checked a year ago. That's about 24 cans. You're not going to retire on it, but if you're drinking them anyway and have a center nearby.. Why not?
  • riskybeats, on 05/23/2008, -1/+11First they get the cans... Then they get the bomb
    • DteK, on 05/23/2008, -1/+3no no you have it wrong.
      First they get the cans... then they get the money.... then the get the beeeches!
  • SoIcanDigg, on 05/23/2008, -2/+3Last time I give out a free apple.
    • bjornski, on 05/23/2008, -0/+1Because of a satire article on TheOnion?
      • SoIcanDigg, on 05/23/2008, -1/+1I know what theonion is. Just playing along. ;)
  • Duositex, on 05/23/2008, -20/+3Buried into the ground where onions belong.
    • grovest4life, on 05/23/2008, -3/+2Clearly those who dugg you down don't believe that onions grow underground.
  • LoudMusic, on 05/23/2008, -0/+21I've always thought, if they'd just crush the damn cans they could get more in a bag.
    • NJank, on 05/23/2008, -0/+8some recyclers don't want you to crush the cans. makes it harder on the shredding machine. crushed cans get jammed in the joints.
      • LoudMusic, on 05/23/2008, -0/+1For serious? I've never heard that before - but it makes sense. Good to know, thanks!
  • meruru, on 05/23/2008, -0/+8Our automobile economy may be on hard times but thanks to our 10 cent deposits the aluminum-can market has never been stronger in Michigan
    • Yez70, on 05/23/2008, -3/+3I HATE the 10cent deposits in Michigan now. You ARE NOT ALLOWED to crush the cans anymore. You can no longer drop them off and tell the cashier what amount you left on the honor system, you have to use the sticky machines tucked into the recesses of the store to scan each can individually now.

      It's more time consuming and very unsanitary to stand there scanning can by can for half hour once a month (personal experience). In half an hour I can scan about $15 worth of cans. I could also be home making twice that working on a clients project.

      Due to the can deposit program recyclying is not available in much of the state as the can profit has been removed from the recyclers equations - so the few places that have recycling charge $10-$20/month to pick up your recyclables.

      I started throwing my cans in the trash again, the landfill can have my dimes....
      • weyr, on 05/23/2008, -0/+4You should see if you can find a recycling center instead of taking them to a store. Most centers you just empty all your cans into buckets and then they weigh them
  • naterpoke, on 05/23/2008, -8/+2this is what happens when the government gets involved in the waste of money and resources known as recycling. learn about it.
    • NJank, on 05/23/2008, -1/+5now the government is responsible for humor columns? Well done government!
      • bjornski, on 05/23/2008, -1/+1Sshhhhhhhh........

        Sometimes it's more fun to laugh at the ignorant than correct them.
  • TubeDigger, on 05/23/2008, -1/+4Just wait till the stock market hits a bad slump all the Aluminum will hit the market.... then watch your precious economy climb its way up from the rubble.

    The meek will inherit the earth indeeed Muahahahahaahha *cough* uahahrghh
  • kingofcuba, on 05/23/2008, -1/+0Dugg just for the headline!
  • wigginz, on 05/23/2008, -1/+2Damn! I'm going to Costco first thing after work this afternoon. They haven't put limits on how many cases of Rock Start you can buy yet right???? I wont stand for the poor having any advantage over the... non-poor.
    • wigginz, on 05/23/2008, -1/+1Ugh, not again... I meant Rock STAR.
  • bty2047, on 05/23/2008, -8/+1lulz I thought it was real ahaaha I was like whaaaaa dumb Americans..
    • Digger1218, on 05/23/2008, -1/+2You thought this was real? And you think that Americans are dumb?

      facepalm.jpg
  • Penguinsushi, on 05/23/2008, -2/+3clearly, these people have not seen my garage, nor do they correctly estimate the magnitude of my soda consumption...
    • jabz, on 05/23/2008, -1/+1Why is this guy buried so deep? I don`t get it. Dugg for pitty!
  • RedHeadedFreak, on 05/23/2008, -0/+9I clicked it, started reading, and got pissed off thinking, "who gives a damn!?" Then I stopped reading, went to look to see who wrote, then laughed at myself.
  • PhattyPhattMatt, on 05/23/2008, -1/+3It is difficult to imagine that so much of the cans that i throw on the ground everyday have benefited this elite group of people. i am going to throw my cans in the recycling can at my house from now on to cut down on the amount of power that they can accumulate, especially from me. i dont want to be the one responsible for their rise in super power...
  • JointVenture, on 05/23/2008, -1/+5So if I recycle my own cans does that mean I hate poor people?
  • chaos7, on 05/23/2008, -7/+1stop digging theonion.... fake news is lame
  • Cerebron, on 05/23/2008, -3/+0I worked with a complete dumbass a while ago who would rather dig through the trash looking for aluminum cans to recycle than do the work he was getting paid to do. He was fired not too long afterwards for being a lazy dumbass.
  • fulibs, on 05/23/2008, -4/+0MONOPOLY!!! Quick get the government involved, this MUST stop!
  • mecharabbit, on 05/23/2008, -2/+1Coming soon to VH1: "The Fabulous Life of Vagrants"
  • dislexicllama, on 05/23/2008, -0/+2I was going to forward this to a colleague, until I pasted the link in my email and saw the URL....... sigh
    • bjornski, on 05/23/2008, -0/+1At least you realized it was a joke.

      The comments posted above show that not everyone is that bright.
  • XanderDee, on 05/23/2008, -0/+1Had me going there for a second saying WTF as I read it and sad that has to be a joke... I did not look at the name of the publisher until my disbelief kicked in.
  • HolmWrecker, on 05/23/2008, -1/+1The story reeks of *****.
  • chrgrose, on 05/23/2008, -0/+1good for them. At least I don't have to see the cans on the ground.
  • menwuur, on 05/23/2008, -0/+1I need to start paying attention to the website before i start reading articles and trying to make sense of them lol
  • dadotron, on 05/23/2008, -0/+2this title is HILLARIOUS!
  • TheScotsman1980, on 05/23/2008, -0/+0I love the swastika shaped graph. It has no real message behind it, except that the onions graphic designer was bored.
  • BlackGum, on 05/23/2008, -0/+1heh heh heh onions
  • blipblipbeep, on 05/23/2008, -0/+0coff ***** coff
  • tmcdigg, on 05/24/2008, -0/+2Homeless people need a raise too! I think they should hold out for at least .15-20ยข a can/bottle!
  • Amburger, on 05/24/2008, -0/+0Here in Colorado these homeless people could make a killing!! We don't have deposit on anything. I would get pissed if I saw them trash picking in my garbage can though.
  • adampark, on 05/30/2008, -0/+0ALL YOUR CANS ARE BELONG TO US
  • qwonkerjawed, on 07/19/2008, -0/+1this isn't terribly far-fetched
  •  

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