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Rap Lyrics Explained With Charts and Graphs

aclevercookie.com — Absolute genious. Compiled from the phishook forums. Let’s see how many you can figure out.

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  • brooklynzoo, on 01/24/2008, -26/+8what? im confused now
    • jemka, on 01/24/2008, -7/+10It doesn't make any sense without the music links.
    • ccourt23, on 01/24/2008, -2/+16It used popular sons over the previous 15 years or so.... you have to know the song to really get it.
      • OwdenBowden, on 01/24/2008, -0/+1So are you saying its a "Rap Thing"?
    • virtualball, on 01/24/2008, -3/+1You wouldn't...
    • ryan00davis, on 01/24/2008, -1/+14I wish I was little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her, I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat, and a '64 Impala
    • busybenj, on 01/24/2008, -0/+4Your name is Brooklynzoo and you're confused by this? Ironic-----WUTANG
      • sancho320, on 01/24/2008, -0/+2Maybe its the charts part he didn't get.
  • Sparkster185, on 01/24/2008, -26/+159This was on digg like a week ago
    • DJ1101, on 01/24/2008, -12/+1yes it was. i figured sum1 else would member seein this
    • MasterPlayer, on 01/24/2008, -7/+14Not to mention the week before that, and the week before that...
    • asurroca, on 01/24/2008, -6/+19Someone needs to make a chart about frequently it has been posted on Digg......
    • downwiththeking, on 01/24/2008, -7/+1Its diff....
    • elfs1der, on 01/24/2008, -5/+2this is wack
    • sotopheavy, on 01/24/2008, -0/+28I have been on Digg for two years and I must have missed it every time. Spaghetti bless the guy who posted it for the 10th time. To them it may be old, but to me it's genius. Props to: It's like "this" [and like] "that" pie chart. How can you deny that!?
    • inquebiss, on 01/24/2008, -4/+5Some of us don't have that rss feed for digg, because we don't spend 12 hours a day on a computer.
    • markp93, on 01/24/2008, -0/+7If you havin' Digg problems I feel bad for you, son.
  • ggping64, on 01/24/2008, -11/+17Bacardi is spelled with an "i"
    • sloppjyoe890, on 01/24/2008, -6/+3It doesn't matter it ain't shawties birthday anyway.
      On the subject of shawties. Let me pose a quick philosophical question thats been on my mind lately. The ability to get low is perhaps the most important criteria to consider when trying to be a shawtie, so what happens when shawtie ceases to be able to get low? Is shawtie still a shawtie? Or for that matter has the level of lowness ever been established as to how far a shawtie can truly go? And does the level of getting low depend on the shawtie? Is it learned or innate? Are shawties born with the ability to get low or does it have to be learned, and who teaches such a trade? Is it a trade? Why does rap have to be so confusing? :(
    • dunk71, on 01/24/2008, -1/+4Iacardi?
  • Thoric, on 01/24/2008, -2/+67Dugg for the "Mom's scare chart".That's just brilliant
  • suhielhabib, on 01/24/2008, -5/+0For the other side of your brain
  • KokomoNYC, on 01/24/2008, -11/+2So...Bitches ain't *****, yet some bitches are hoes, others are tricks, and some are hoes and tricks?
    • winmywii, on 01/24/2008, -1/+1.
    • mindinrewind, on 01/24/2008, -1/+27Bitches ain't ***** but hoes and tricks.
    • offwithyourtv, on 01/24/2008, -1/+13This almost sounded like a failed attempt at one of those standardized test questions....If some bitches are hoes, and some bitches are tricks, are all tricks hoes?
      • Kiwibomb, on 01/24/2008, -0/+1the answer would be (A) True.......right?

        or is it (B) False?

        *****.....
        • ctrlv, on 01/24/2008, -0/+2Don't worry, just remember: B is the new C.
      • psykiv, on 01/24/2008, -0/+1False
      • ayeroxor, on 01/25/2008, -0/+1no, but if that's the full data, then all tricks and hoes are bitches.
    • SLYK, on 01/24/2008, -1/+1bitches ain't ***** but hoes and tricks...
    • kayala, on 01/24/2008, -5/+2They've already said it, but I'll say it too.
      bitches ain't ***** but hoes and tricks.
    • ayeroxor, on 01/24/2008, -0/+2Listen to UC Berkeley break it down for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjNNxnKVEpQ
  • simplicityiskey, on 01/24/2008, -5/+4Dugg for comparison of money to problems graph and the flowchart explaining the necessary features to a "good day" in the hood, but this whole thing was pretty funny.
  • Sedako, on 01/24/2008, -4/+50YTMND version:

    http://pptalbum.ytmnd.com/
  • Retnuh730, on 01/24/2008, -8/+22It's a damn shame you can only digg stuff like this once.
    • thugok, on 01/24/2008, -1/+10It's OK, you can dig it again next week when it's resubmitted.
  • Thecatman11, on 01/24/2008, -2/+115this site is WAY better
    http://jamphat.com/rap/
    • fancyj, on 01/24/2008, -0/+3"A Study of the Trickyness Involved in Rocking a Rhyme" brilliant.
    • tidu, on 01/24/2008, -1/+1Things Getting Supermanned:

      That Ho
    • newprohibition, on 01/24/2008, -1/+1Yes Jamphat is the original creator of ALL of these images. I was surprised he did not get credit for them. He posts on a lame forum I frequent.
      • ilskootli, on 01/24/2008, -0/+1Close. Jamphat didn't make them, he just hosted them.

        The ODB one on there is mine, haha.
    • CrankyPants, on 01/24/2008, -0/+1Ethnicities that do the hump

      That's an old one.
    • CrazyDEX, on 01/24/2008, -0/+0Ok... a lot of these suck. The other site was a bit more selective
    • Javlington, on 01/24/2008, -0/+1http://jamphat.com/rap/index_files/image141.jpg
      Look what's in the overlap between "Hey" and "Listen"!
      Also, between "Hey" and "You" (Pink Floyd ftw)

      I like this image best :)
  • mjpanzer, on 01/24/2008, -16/+58buried- rappers can't do math
    • mcgarry83, on 01/24/2008, -0/+5Unless it has to do with rim size relative to vehicle hight.
    • navster15, on 01/24/2008, -0/+3But how else can they count them stacks? Keep track of gats? Step up on them hood rats?
    • Digger1218, on 01/24/2008, -2/+1ZOMG RACISM!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111!!!!!!!!!

      /sarcasm
  • elef3u, on 01/24/2008, -7/+6Hahaha...best one is the b**ches ain't s**t but h*s and tricks Venn diagram hahahahahaaha!
    • xaxxon, on 01/24/2008, -1/+2but that's not what it means. It doesn't mean "bitches are not *****" but some are hos and some are tricks and some are, in fact both hos and tricks and some are neither, just bitches.
      "Bitches ain't *****" - bitches have NO qualities "but hos and tricks" except that they are hos and tricks. There is no "*****" involved at all - that part is figurative. You could say that all bitches are both hos and tricks in which case there's a circle for hos, a circle for tricks and the bitches circle would be enclosed by both.
      That's how I always understood it.
    • markr, on 01/24/2008, -2/+1no - he got it right: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/drdre/bitchesaintsh ...
  • TomPlansMedia, on 01/24/2008, -3/+22NOW they're speaking my language
  • XxFinalexX, on 01/24/2008, -17/+2Really?

    This is retarded.
    This is not absolute 'genious' as the topic claims.
    :|
  • Raphyy, on 01/24/2008, -12/+2Dugg for the jeezy comment, otherwise, stupid.
  • compgeek, on 01/24/2008, -4/+6dug for types of black people chart Hood N*gga rofl
    • sloppjyoe890, on 01/24/2008, -0/+2I heard somewhere that he runs the town. :( dictatorships suck
  • lukeydukey, on 01/24/2008, -2/+1dugg to hell after 116? you gotta be kidding me.
  • cobrapeed, on 01/24/2008, -5/+2LOL @ "Shorty's Birthday" in the amount of Party and sipping Bacardi chart.
  • KineticShampoo, on 01/24/2008, -5/+7It gets old after the sixth chart.
    • asurroca, on 01/24/2008, -2/+8*****...you just didn't get it so you hatin
  • riverstyx, on 01/24/2008, -14/+6Cute page. Very funny. I hate rap, a lot actually.
  • AngryIrishMan12, on 01/24/2008, -12/+6This is hilarious, you crackers just don't know rap.
    /I don't mean cracker offensively, I'm taking power away from the word.
    • elmetald00d, on 01/24/2008, -5/+14it's ok porch monkey
      /no really, I'm bringin it back!
  • RSS14, on 01/24/2008, -7/+8This was submitted more than a week ago.
    http://www.digg.com/comedy/What_Happens_When_Rappe ...

  • Emnsta, on 01/24/2008, -11/+10Interesting and Funny, since i love rap.
    I think a lot of the rock punks are going to say, "rap sucks, rap is all about money", ***** like that, but i disagree. I like rap not for what the majority of American rap artists are saying, i like the beats, the way the words are being said. I agree a lot of current rap is meaningless and stupid though. You shouldn't hate a genre just because you don't like what's being said in certain songs or artist. There are many raps I've heard that are truthful and even helpful at times, but they're usually not too mainstream.

    Also, why do those that like rock feel obligated to talk ***** about rap?
    • praisethelard, on 06/06/2008, -1/+9Huh? Not everyone is either "here" or "there". I enjoy all forms of music, myself. I can enjoy any artist from any genre as long as it meets my particular tastes.
      • TheBEAST205, on 01/24/2008, -11/+4Why I hate rap with such a passion? Because it takes very little to no skill to produce the "music" and it doesn't have half the feeling or emotion that other music does. It's also an extremely ignorant genre, and I have little or no respect for "rappers" in general. It's basically a scam, but people that like rap music are just too stupid to realize it.

        If you can listen to say, Dark Side of the Moon, then tell me that rap is better with a straight face, you deserve to be shot. Rap is seriously one of humanity's biggest jokes.
        • djbon2112, on 01/24/2008, -0/+6I don't have a problem with rap per se, just the commericalised ***** being pumped out by the truckload today. Back in the early days there were some guys writing genuinely meaningful lyrics put to good beats. Now, rap is no different than pop. All of it is *****.
        • Myonosken, on 01/24/2008, -1/+2It takes no skill? But..but.. you've got to superman dat hoe!

          But seriously, you're saying that some rap songs (like that one at the minute that samples Planet Telex and is ***** intelligent) take less skill and less emotive than say...ohhh...everything made by American emo bands?
          • TheBEAST205, on 01/24/2008, -0/+1Yes, but I hate most modern Rock too. So I guess that makes two of us?
        • chocolatetacos, on 01/24/2008, -0/+3"If you can listen to say, Dark Side of the Mood, then tell me that [punk rock] is better with a straight face, you deserve to be shot."
          What a load of crap. You try going and making a mil' saying nothing on a track.
          Comparing ANY form of music with one of the best alums of all time is ridiculous. But if you ask me, Green Day, or Common, I'll go with Common every time. Go listen to "Suicidal Thoughts" by Notorious B.I.G. and tell me there isn't any emotion to it.
        • Dubbsacc, on 01/24/2008, -0/+1Do me a favor, listen to Tupac - Crazy.
          I'm guessing you won't. Why? Because you've convinced yourself it's a joke. There's a story in that song, there's a story in pretty much every rap song, you just need to listen and comprehend it. Now most of the mainstream rap is crap, but so is mainstream rock, etc. You have to look past the mainstream.
          I'll tell you something though, I've listened to plenty of Dark Side of the Moon, why? Because I'm not a judgmental prick and I actually LISTEN to the music. There's good songs in every genre of music, nothing is better then the other. Music is music, appreciate regardless of the genre.
          • TheBEAST205, on 01/24/2008, -0/+1Meh, no thanks. The closest I go to rap is trip-hop.

            I actually listen to quite a diverse array of music, I just don't do rap.
        • harp818, on 01/26/2008, -0/+0I agree with Beast.
      • fancyj, on 01/24/2008, -1/+1The problem is you've never heard a talented MC that doesn't care about money and hoe's, only self absorbed corporate rappers. There is plenty of really good hip hop out there and you'd be surprised as to how complex some beats can get in a good hip hop song. Make no mistake, I can't stand "mainstream" rap but to base an entire genre off the crap that's on MTV is pretty narrow minded.
    • alienSkull, on 01/24/2008, -2/+2because even the rappers know that in order to do it right, you need to party like a ROCK STAR... and not a rapper.
      and if you such a big fan of the beats... listen to techno
      • gingerchris, on 01/24/2008, -0/+5Are you implying that techno is instrumental hip hop?
      • solid12345, on 01/24/2008, -0/+1techno is totally unlike rap. Rap tends to sample real world instruments, old jazz, and funk records.
        • BlackBloc, on 01/25/2008, -0/+1ever listened to daft punk? all funk samples.......
    • pooptaster, on 01/24/2008, -7/+2You like rap because you are black.
    • kevinwiz, on 01/25/2008, -0/+2although i agree with what you're saying, it's like you're talking just for the sake of talking. nobody brought up the argument
  • machocheese34, on 01/24/2008, -3/+12Jesus died at age 33, there's thirty-three shots
    from twin glocks there's sixteen apiece, that's thirty-two
    Which means, one of my guns was holdin 17
    Twenty-seven hit your crew, six went into you
    • jtjdt, on 01/24/2008, -7/+2Can-i-Bus
    • buymeachicken, on 01/24/2008, -1/+5You should have replied to mjpanzer's "buried- rappers can't do math"
    • omgosh, on 01/27/2008, -0/+2OMG someone on Digg who knows Nas.
      Your arms are too short to box with god
      I don't kill soloists, only kill squads.
  • seanc6610, on 01/24/2008, -3/+18dugg for 93 to infinity, I doubt too many people got that one.
    • Jacobi, on 01/24/2008, -1/+2That was my favorite one as well. Definitely the most clever thing on that page. I want it on a t-shirt.
    • djbon2112, on 01/24/2008, -4/+3I don't. I don't listen to rap though...
  • DefianceOhioFan, on 01/24/2008, -2/+4This is absolutely hilarious. The "like this and like that" pie chart is pure genius.
  • Makaveli604, on 01/24/2008, -6/+1omfg I love this. A friend had an email link, great to see it on digg.
    • willynilly, on 01/24/2008, -4/+1First of all, if you abbreviate something, it's capitalized: OMFG.

      Second, you're a retard.
  • casspa, on 01/24/2008, -3/+4all I need is "1" digg...
  • vdgmr1213, on 01/24/2008, -10/+2I thank science every day that I only recognized a few of those. One being the Fresh Prince, others from their parodies done by Weird Al.
  • TheGreatBelow, on 01/24/2008, -4/+2The OT is strong in this thread. Long live fazle.
  • h2g242, on 01/24/2008, -2/+4Mirror: http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:eCskThzoyYUJ: ...
  • idc5, on 01/24/2008, -2/+3souls of mischief - 93 til infinity is the best one
    • tribecalledgreg, on 01/24/2008, -1/+0agreed! souls of mischief are teh sex.

      the forgot about dre one was hilarious as well
  • mazonrowes777, on 01/24/2008, -3/+1Ha! Dugg for all the older/good rap references
  • frankinuld, on 01/24/2008, -3/+1Tottally genious!
  • CrackIsWack, on 01/24/2008, -1/+12Oh wow, that "Bitches Ain't *****" venn diagram is hilarious and perfect.
  • Mosz, on 01/24/2008, -9/+1you gotta be ***** ***** me this has been front page 2 times in past 1.5 weeks and been on here before that....
    bury please +bad karma for everyone that bumped /dugg this
    • c0baltfish, on 01/24/2008, -0/+2I didn't see this last week, I'm glad I did now.
  • DavidGX, on 01/24/2008, -3/+3One of the best things I've seen on Digg so far.
    • willynilly, on 01/24/2008, -3/+2And you logged on three minutes ago?
      • DavidGX, on 01/24/2008, -2/+2I mean, since registering with Digg more than a year ago.
  • nhdw, on 01/24/2008, -6/+1I see what you did thar.
  • snackalacka, on 01/24/2008, -2/+14I used to think that math-related jokes weren't funny. Ever. Holy Jesus was I wrong. These killed me.

    Also to the people who flip out that it's already been on Digg (i.e. @ Mosz for 'you gotta be ***** ***** me this has been front page 2 times in past 1.5 weeks and been on here before that....bury please +bad karma for everyone that bumped /dugg this')...

    I check Digg, no joke, probably a dozen times a day. It's my homepage. And I missed it all those other times. So thanks to 5pudgun for making sure that I saw this. And other dudes, relax about double posts.
  • psykiv, on 01/24/2008, -3/+1Now I can understand those songs more! Thanks Digg!
  • jjpertusch, on 01/24/2008, -1/+1i liked the simple "***** bitches, get money" calendar.
  • tehnoobifier, on 01/24/2008, -1/+2this is absolutely hilarious
  • jsherlock, on 01/24/2008, -1/+3this is way better than I imagined....the nerd translation to rap
  • gamehunter101, on 01/24/2008, -7/+2the underground rap scene has some good content with rappers like immortal technique,jmt,etc
  • Beermonaut, on 01/24/2008, -7/+0really digg?.....really? no one saw it the last time it got 1,000 plus diggs? really?......really?
  • strikerzex911, on 01/24/2008, -2/+0lol 93 to infinity. bitches aint ***** lmao this is genius.
    • willynilly, on 01/24/2008, -4/+1See, abbreviations are capitalized: LOL, LMAO. But even then they reveal that you're a moron, so what's the difference?
  • UltramegaOK, on 01/24/2008, -1/+1Dugg for the "Amount you forgot about Dre" and the "Unified Bitch Theory".... bitches ain't *****........
  • ath1337, on 01/24/2008, -1/+3WHAT! no Lori Beth Denberg!!! NO THANK YOU
  • tgoose, on 01/24/2008, -1/+3I wouldn't normally point out spelling mistakes, but come on: "genius" is one of those words that loses its impact somewhat when it's spelt incorrectly.
  • knopper67, on 01/24/2008, -1/+1"The amount you Forgot About Dre"

    lol I have that song.
    • willynilly, on 01/24/2008, -4/+1WTF is "lol"?
      • adminmatt, on 01/26/2008, -0/+1read through willynilly's comments....habitual grammar nazi.
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