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Seven Supposedly Fun (And Actually Awful) Sex Ideas

cracked.com — If you're like me, and I think you are, seeing as we both share an affinity for the internet, you're probably bored with all the constant sex you're having. Even when it's with another person.

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  • DonMicle, on 10/04/2008, -3/+9Cracked hits the FP again !
  • dezweber, on 10/04/2008, -1/+7And, here I thought I was pretty well-rounded because I'd heard of a Cleveland Steamer (thanks to a friend forcing me to listen to Tenacious D), but now I have to picture a Blumpie? Who thinks that's fun?
    • DekarCorvus, on 10/04/2008, -0/+4I had NO IDEA what a cleaveland steamer was.....thanks to you...and urban dictionary....i'm sorry i asked. I consider myself rather adventerous...but that almost made me lose my lunch! lol

      • dezweber, on 10/04/2008, -0/+2It's ok...I think I was older than you when I found out and I now wish I hadn't.
  • andreo, on 10/04/2008, -3/+4I have to admit. I've tried all but the blumpie and MFM. Well, all except the blumpie. And that's because when I'm going to the bathroom that's my "me time". I don't want anyone watching (or listening) to me getting rid of by products that my body produces from the food that I take in.
    As for the MFM. Well, neither me or my buddy was going out with the girls. It was purely based on the fact that we couldn't afford 2 motel rooms in high school AND have money left over for booze.

    The other five things... Not first time with the your partner events. But they do come around in the "hey you ever try this" conversation eventually.
  • t3hmyth, on 10/04/2008, -2/+4Duped by a minute:http://digg.com/comedy/7_Supposedly_Fun_And_Actual ...
  • brainnovate, on 10/04/2008, -7/+2Dupe
  • TheBuz, on 10/04/2008, -2/+8The mutual masturbation one is dead on. Nothing creates a more guilt filled sexual experience than blowing a load before your lady can finish, then you just sit and watch and feel bad.
  • M1N3R, on 10/04/2008, -4/+5so whatever happened to just railing some chick? seriously in and out, in and out, repeat. i've always had fun doing that
    • Wakkyweed, on 10/05/2008, -0/+2And I'm sure she had lots of fun just staring at the ceiling while you did that.
  • uncleosbert, on 10/04/2008, -2/+9no sex acts are fun when you're as hung up as this writer.
  • simulated, on 10/04/2008, -1/+3Cleaveland Steamer! OMFG ffs this is whack!
  • Blacksoth, on 10/04/2008, -4/+4There are sooo many worse ones out there. The angry pirate, boston pancake, cincinatti bowtie, strawberry shortcake... the list goes on and on. It may be fun to mention it in a competition of one-upmanship but I doubt many are actually fun to do.
  • sgregory416, on 10/04/2008, -1/+2anybody in here that thinks sex should only be shared with that "special one" feck off! ya prude!
  • aud24, on 10/05/2008, -2/+2The blumpie?!?!?! ya learn something everyday. barfola.
  • GoKings, on 10/05/2008, -2/+2Since when is getting a blowjob while taking a ***** "supposedly fun"?
  • Newportbeachguy, on 10/05/2008, -0/+8You know, when you, like, you grab a woman's breast and it's... and you feel it and... it feels like a bag of sand when you're touching it.
  • teh_spazz, on 10/05/2008, -1/+3That's a blumpie, yo.
    • cesclaveria, on 10/05/2008, -0/+1and the sixth underrated smurf is...
  • whodoes, on 10/05/2008, -0/+1I feel terrible for the author of this list. I get the feeling that the "blumpie" was just thrown in to make sure that i HAD to agree with some part of it. As for the rest, it's mostly wrong. It sounds like the sort of cowardly rationalizations created to talk yourself out of trying something you're actually quite interested in.
  • wilf_brim, on 10/05/2008, -0/+2Yea, most of these are awful ideas. One isn't or two aren't so bad done right (won't say which), but filming and MFM is ALWAYS bad ideas. Video is good, though, for everybody else. Provided they share ;-)
  • yacks, on 10/05/2008, -0/+1I think 69 is an excellent idea and not that awful.. A) it turns her on.. B) it turns you one..and C) it normally leads to bumping uglies.
  • psplayer6, on 10/05/2008, -0/+3Am I the only one dissapointed by this article?
  • PabloIV, on 10/05/2008, -1/+1I've filmed, done it outside, facialed, mutually masturbated, and 69d

    #1: There's a porn industry for a reason. There's only so many times you can watch the same video of yourself doing it. It might be slightly more fun if you have a bunch with different women, but if you have that chances are you don't need to masturbate.

    #2: awesome and hot

    #3: awesome but she's gotta come up with it, or maybe slip it out as the end of a BJ

    #4: boring

    #5: The article is right on on this one. Also, you're both thinking so much about what you're doing that you can't just let go and have a great orgasm.

    I don't know about the other 2 and I'd rather not find out.
    • ligyron, on 10/05/2008, -1/+1By #1 do you mean #7, and by #2 do you mean #6, and by #3 do you mean #5, and by #4 do you mean #4, and by #5 do you mean #3?
  • aforce369, on 10/05/2008, -0/+1Yay. I like reading about things I will never do.
  • maretten, on 10/05/2008, -0/+2#8 - not using a condom.
    Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.
    The More You Know (rainbow)
  • Wakkyweed, on 10/05/2008, -0/+1I've always found filming to be fun, though I'm not that happy with the way my gut looks in the sideways shots. Mutual masturbation is booooooring! Facials can be awesome if she's into it, but you'd better find out BEFORE you try it! I find it's too hard for either party to come during 69, because you're too busy concentrating on what you're doing to really enjoy it. Outdoors is okay, but watch out for the sand and dirt in tender areas! The "blumpie" is just simply disgusting. MFM can be a hell of a lot of fun, though, if the chick is a nympho!

    Of course, that's just my own personal experience. Your experiences may differ.
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