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See the original image at cracked.com —

The 10 Commandments of Facebook

cracked.com — This is the internet, after all, and if something on the internet can be used in an annoying way, you can safely assume that 99% of the population will proceed to use it in exactly that way, repeatedly.

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  • onejerusalem, on 09/10/2008, -7/+47Agreed !!
    • tykwondingo, on 09/10/2008, -1/+2Social Sites + booze = winning combination.
  • HeDiggMe, on 09/10/2008, -12/+19Agree with all of them except #3. I just put all randoms in a friend list who cant see my wall. Kinda stupid going online to talk to people you know already.
    • morphinapg, on 09/10/2008, -1/+8we are digg users, we don't get out too much
    • jotux, on 09/10/2008, -1/+4"Kinda stupid going online to talk to people you know already."

      Seems like the better I know someone the more I talk to them online, and the less I know them the more likely I'll have to talk to them in person or on the phone.
  • bamafun, on 09/10/2008, -4/+27Amen !
  • ani625, on 09/10/2008, -1/+37Quoting from a comment - "I will definitely be sending it to my friends who horribly violate all the rules."
    Amen
  • duthel, on 09/10/2008, -22/+8Forgot it. Is over.. No I use twitter, 100 times better and faster
    • cmakvaca, on 09/10/2008, -0/+6that's like a turtle gloating over a snail
    • MarshalBanana, on 09/10/2008, -1/+10Twitter is esentially the most annoying part of facebook. and that's it.
    • jotux, on 09/10/2008, -0/+10"Forgot it. Is over.. No I use twitter, 100 times better and faster"

      I see twitter is doing wonders for your spelling and grammar.
  • BCCStu, on 09/10/2008, -4/+10I will break the stone tablets :)
  • dezweber, on 09/10/2008, -5/+182How about "Thou shalt not recommend friends from high school that other friends have spent their entire adult life trying to forget"?
    • cjacks9, on 09/10/2008, -3/+17I think we have our 11th Commandment here.
    • getpumped87, on 09/10/2008, -0/+6i have nothing valuable to say, just...i agree, i agree. *hug*
    • rameznabel, on 09/10/2008, -7/+1i'm sorry for you
      • dezweber, on 09/10/2008, -3/+1And, I'm sorry for YOU! What the hell does that mean, anyway?
  • AmyVernon, on 09/10/2008, -1/+21Agree wholeheartedly. I hate getting friend requests from people I have never heard of and are obviously looking to have more friends than their friends have.
  • WriterSD, on 09/10/2008, -2/+24FTA: "Thou Shalt Not Contact People From Your Distant Past While Intoxicated"

    I have received several messages on Facebook that could fit this description, sadly enough. Oh, might as well also add a #11: "If you know someone can't stand you, don't request them as a friend." Should be common sense, but...
    • otros, on 09/10/2008, -1/+21On the same note, If I ignore your friend request three times, take the hint.
      • xxpor, on 09/10/2008, -0/+21The problem is that it doesnt say if someone ignores your friend request, so sometimes you can forget if you requested someone a year ago, for example.
      • WriterSD, on 09/10/2008, -0/+10Or... If I ignored your friend request on LinkedIn and MySpace, I will probably ignore it on Facebook too.
  • Mangotastic, on 09/10/2008, -5/+145Thou shalt not tag me in a photograph where I am a horrible drunken mess
    • bunk3rk1ng, on 09/10/2008, -1/+14Haha I love doing that to my friends. As long as they return the favor :)
    • edwartica, on 09/10/2008, -12/+2Yeah....the worst picture of myself ever - after about four beers at a BBQ. My hair was messed up and guess what? SOME ASSWIPE POSTED IT!!!
      • OMGWTFROFLMAOx2, on 09/10/2008, -1/+14oh no, not your hair!

        -1
      • Felix2Fingerz, on 09/10/2008, -0/+17wow......4 beers and messed up hair. You party animal you.
      • karmon3, on 09/10/2008, -0/+11Four beers?
      • edwartica, on 09/10/2008, -2/+3Yeah, what can I say - I'm a lightweight. But at least I don't have to spend a lot of money when I want to get drunk.
      • TomRemixed, on 09/10/2008, -0/+8Yeah....the worst picture of myself ever - I was doing a few lines of coke and shooting up some heroin at my friends HOUSE. My nose was bleeding and I still had some needles sticking in me but worst of all my hair was a bit ruffled and guess what? SOME ASSFACE UPLOADED IT!!!
      • yaddayaddayoda, on 09/11/2008, -0/+1PWNT
    • kocurejd, on 09/10/2008, -0/+4Some girl I knew from high school got tagged in a photo of her copping a squat in a Denny's parking lot.
    • Mangotastic, on 09/10/2008, -0/+1the amplitude of diggs related to my comment really shows the level of dependance we have all developed towards alcohol
  • Mangotastic, on 09/10/2008, -11/+6Thou shalt not add either of thy parents as a friend. although I think this goes against one of God's ten commandments :S
    • thesoze, on 09/10/2008, -3/+3I agree " NO FRAKEN PARENTS!!!"
    • pathouston22, on 09/10/2008, -2/+2My damn mother added me as a friend the other day.

      I clicked the IGNORE button and told her NO. She wasn't happy, but she'll get over it.
    • ShortyR19, on 09/10/2008, -0/+4Limited profile...everyone's happy.
  • pbmoe1, on 09/10/2008, -7/+2people who break these rules are olive-backed forest robins.
    • captainanndor, on 09/10/2008, -0/+1I have no idea why you keep posting this in every story to make the front page, but I'm kind of put-off by the fact that I keep laughing at it.
  • supertom, on 09/10/2008, -2/+123"Thou shalt not join groups that claim that Facebook is closing down or some ***** like that."
    • spoogieking012, on 09/10/2008, -2/+11or bitching about the new layout
    • nomarsh, on 09/10/2008, -1/+10Everybody join my new group! if we all boycott Exxon Mobil gas stations for three months, then they have to give us FREE gasoline for a YEAR!! Simple economics!! INVITE YOUR FRIENDS!!!
  • Surferess, on 09/10/2008, -12/+4My favorite was this one:
    "8. Thou Shalt Not Contact People From Your Distant Past While Intoxicated"
  • Spankus, on 09/10/2008, -8/+0Did they just change the title and a few key words from an old myspace list?
    • ahawks, on 09/10/2008, -0/+8Yes, because Myspace also has apps, and gifts, and the poke, and groups. That right there makes up 40% of the rules on this list, and don't apply to myspace.
      • Spankus, on 09/10/2008, -11/+0that's why I said "key words". numbnuts.

        now go poke your crippled cousin
  • cadmiumpaint, on 09/10/2008, -1/+20how about....there is really good reason i haven't talked to you since high school. don't contact me.
  • fuckingusername, on 09/10/2008, -12/+411 , build a real website
  • AvonBeWeak, on 09/10/2008, -9/+7Thou shalt remove Fight Club and The Shawshank Redemption from favorite movies even though they are good movies.
    • josephbloseph, on 09/10/2008, -4/+0Can I list Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption as a favorite novella?
  • ievanssc, on 09/10/2008, -1/+14I think we're all missing something here: Cracked is mocking Gladstone. Marvelously. When did this start happening?
  • ThomasNewman1, on 09/10/2008, -7/+4I wish I could dig it again.
  • wwwonka, on 09/10/2008, -19/+1111. Thou shall hate the new Facebook layout.
    • javiero, on 09/10/2008, -2/+2I hate it so much...
    • AzBats, on 09/10/2008, -0/+5If you hate it then you're using it wrong (it makes peoples pages load faster as least).
      • anononon, on 09/10/2008, -0/+1... while managing to suck more cycles out of your CPU.
    • wwwonka, on 09/10/2008, -1/+1negative DIGGS, really? It's nice to see the employees of Facebook have access to the internet at least.
  • misterchanesaw, on 09/10/2008, -7/+67Thou shalt not list "Sports, girls, partying" as your only three interests

    Thou shalt not list "I like anything but country" as your favorite music
    • Gndoab, on 09/10/2008, -1/+81but I like anything but country.
    • Scira, on 09/10/2008, -3/+5I like everything except country and pop.
    • lolmax, on 09/11/2008, -0/+8have we considered the inverse? its terrifying :

      "I like nothing except country"
  • axpdocbrown, on 09/10/2008, -3/+63This is facebook, not Nam, Facebook has rules.
  • FearisFailure, on 09/10/2008, -0/+2
    • FearisFailure, on 09/10/2008, -0/+6F-ing Firefox messed up!! Put my comment under this crap!!!
  • commiecat, on 09/10/2008, -1/+14Dugg for Einsturzende Neubauten.
  • jtsf43, on 09/10/2008, -2/+26Thou shalt get a life
  • ff4marvel, on 09/10/2008, -10/+3211. Don't talk about Facebook in real life.
  • illogik, on 09/10/2008, -5/+2Fela Kuti is actually in my favorite music. I'll see you in hell Gladstone.
  • borez, on 09/10/2008, -2/+23Thou shalt not forget that there was a reason we split up in the first place, before trying to befriend me.
  • aguynamedben, on 09/10/2008, -3/+35hahaha "Nobody is impressed by ANYTHING on the Internet."
  • Apocolypse007, on 09/10/2008, -5/+3I just ignore online social pages altogether and talk to people in real life. Its much more fun poking people when they can actually feel it!
  • overzero, on 09/10/2008, -8/+69Thou shalt STOP MOANING ABOUT THE NEW LAYOUT
    • singularityv, on 09/10/2008, -10/+2I'm not just moaning about it, I'm deleting my account. For good.

      The new layout literally gives me a headache trying to read it. I am not sacrificing my health that much just to use Facebook.
      • ryanfaith88, on 09/10/2008, -1/+12Ha ha.

        It's funny because you can't delete it...
      • singularityv, on 09/10/2008, -1/+2I can still deactivate it. It'll still hit their ad revenue at least a bit, and maybe it'll inspire others to do the same.
  • randomizer82, on 09/10/2008, -2/+2011. Thou shalt not upload embarrassing pics of me piss drunk lying in my puke and tag me for the whole world and their friends to see.

    12. Thou shalt not update your status with incomplete stories like ' ___ is really pissed at what happened this morning!' or ' ___ can't wait for Tuesday evening!' . WTF is happening on Tuesday evening? I'm not going to message you to find out, you d1ck!

  • flegory, on 09/10/2008, -6/+0Bitter party of one? Why does the author invest so much effort and time into hating other peoples profiles and how they manage said profile? Perhaps he should append "Thou shalt not waste time keeping record of others stupid profiles."
  • twisterrust, on 09/10/2008, -6/+24What is facebook? :|
  • insanebrain, on 09/10/2008, -10/+4What's facebook ?
  • Slayerdude51982, on 09/10/2008, -0/+8Holy crap this is a record, two cracked articles in two days that are all on one page. I'm pleasantly surprised and only think a few of the "commandments" actually good. Some I think they're just stretching for, like number 1, 2 and 7. The free gifts can be amusing at times.
  • Gndoab, on 09/10/2008, -1/+20Had to agree 100% with rule #10. Facebook isn't MySpace.

    Seriously, I thought it was obvious when my eyes didn't want to detach from my brain to stop the horrible layouts and terrible flashy things.
  • awsftball13, on 09/10/2008, -3/+14Thou shalt never claim to be in an "it's complicated" relationship...

    no, it's not complicated, you are just in denial
    • thesoze, on 09/10/2008, -4/+1I put that in....I like to date but I'm moving abroad in a few months...complicated enough!! hahaha
    • tejanse, on 09/10/2008, -0/+4In another words you will be single in few months while still pretending "it's complicated" - thus proving the poster's point.
    • lolmax, on 09/11/2008, -0/+2Am I the only one who thinks every relationship is complicated?
  • yomamaphat, on 09/10/2008, -1/+6Too damn bad it's turning into My Space anyway.... and nothing can stop the masses from clicking on stupid *****.
    • pathouston22, on 09/10/2008, -0/+11It dosn't have music yet. That makes it 5000000x better than myspace. I hate hearing people's ***** music when I'm already listening to my OWN music in winamp.
      • cjshamrock, on 09/10/2008, -0/+5I agree, that sucks.
      • Slade605, on 09/10/2008, -0/+3Yeah, Facebook makes it so much easier to stalk people, because no one look at what you're doing when a ***** song starts playing louder than it should.
    • dondara, on 09/10/2008, -0/+5Anything popular turns to *****.
  • petaganayr, on 09/10/2008, -8/+3Facebook is useless and so as most of the social networking sites on the web.
    • jsauter, on 09/10/2008, -0/+4No friends?
      • dezweber, on 09/10/2008, -0/+1No, he's probably 80 years old or something...
      • petaganayr, on 09/10/2008, -1/+0I am just being realistic. Let me give you an example. If Facebook shuts down tomorrow, would you still be able to function, find friends, and communicate with them? Most social networking sites are marketing tools. Do you really care what your friends' updates say?
      • jsauter, on 09/10/2008, -0/+2Sure, I find it interesting what my friends are doing. It sure is a hell of a lot easier to post "going to the bar anyone wanna come?" to facebook then it is to call 20 different people.

        Using your same logic, you could apply that to email, telephones, morse code machines, the mail system, pony express riders, messengers and finally smoke signals. All of those are used for advertising as well as communication. Big deal if facebook has ads, it is leveraging technology to facilitate communication and it just happens that you can throw in an ad to make money off of it.
    • Icyfenix, on 09/10/2008, -0/+1Amen. Stop using facebook to e-mail me.
  • jjtaj5656ts, on 09/10/2008, -0/+6I've been following these commandments forever, does anybody else feel like these are complete common sense?
  • Scira, on 09/10/2008, -2/+17And they shall combine and become Facespace!
    • jotux, on 09/10/2008, -0/+8Or Mybook. Actually, I think the longer myspace and facebook persist the more likely they are to transform into 4chan.
    • billbugger, on 09/10/2008, -0/+23Or Myface
      • cricketsymphony, on 09/10/2008, -0/+3that's what my dad calls it
        "so what's new on myface or whatever?"
      • billbugger, on 09/11/2008, -0/+1lol, that's just wrong for your dad to be asking you a question like that!!

        "another wrinkle"
    • captainanndor, on 09/10/2008, -0/+2I like Facespace better than the other suggestions, but I also like Spacebook.

      I think I would make a fictional profile on either/both of those sites. :D
  • hellalazy, on 09/10/2008, -2/+2mirror?
  • rowjimmy, on 09/10/2008, -3/+3after i stopped logging in to facebook (was travelling for a few months and when i got back there were too many requests, invites, messages, super pokes, zombies, and all other bs; didn't want to immediately deal with it, and soon enough it was 6 months later and the amount of crap i'd have to click through to just get rid of it all would take far too long) at first people thought i was sick or in jail or something, then they all started getting pissed off ("why aren't you responding to my facebook message?!" "do you think you're too good to talk to me?!" etc) and finally - almost a year later - people have learned to stop sending me ***** on facebook if they want me to receive it. i don't want to delete the account because it's a good way to get email addresses/phone numbers that i've misplaced, but there's far too much idle ***** on there for my liking. if you want to talk to me, call me, skype me, or send me an email. if you want to send a one-sentence "dude i was so drunk last night, i woke up in iowa" either keep it to yourself or im me. actually, just keep it to yourself. thanks.
    • telepheedian, on 09/10/2008, -0/+2You should have set your status to gone, that should have at least cut the torrent in half.
      • rowjimmy, on 09/10/2008, -0/+1but your status doesn't "stick" for months and months, does it? doesn't it change back to some blank default after X amount of time?

        there was some guy on The Story or some other NPR show a few weeks ago talking about how much he hates social networking, and how he's had clients & colleagues get seriously pissed when he doesn't answer linked-in/facebook requests. i really sympathize - social networking - while enabling contact never before possible - has also devolved much communication to a a pull-down "what mood are you" type menu, and very solipsistic "here's what i am doing right now" posts. not that that's the reason i don't use facebook, nor do i really have much of a philosophical qualm with the whole thing (though it certainly could be [and i'm sure is] the subject of more than a few theses) but in general, it just seems like a big time-waster. (ha, so i say as i obviously pay attention to digg enough to not only comment, but check my comments for responses and comment to them)
  • UnMannedMission, on 09/10/2008, -1/+57"It's not gay if your balls don't touch...right?"

    Right?
    • jordansky, on 09/11/2008, -0/+1That's quote I've been using all these years.
  • Nintendesert, on 09/10/2008, -10/+1Damn, I saw Cracked.com and was expecting something funny.
  • Epitaph, on 09/10/2008, -1/+5http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HE7tTT8khf0
  • edwartica, on 09/10/2008, -0/+3Hey, is there a way to post this list on facebook as an application?
  • knightwing23, on 09/10/2008, -0/+2I thought this was pretty funny, and makes sense
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