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The 5 Greatest Things Ever Accomplished While High

cracked.com — Thanks for the 20th century cocaine!

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  • panicbombs, on 08/04/2008, -9/+410That picture looks like a good hearty breakfast.
    • CeilingTiles, on 08/04/2008, -1/+68For Hunter S. Thompson.
      • bennyb123, on 08/04/2008, -3/+3Looks like its only missing the vial of pure adrenaline.
      • bweltondav, on 08/04/2008, -0/+16You need a hearty breakfast when you're about to venture into bat country.
    • enjoyincubus19, on 08/04/2008, -5/+11Steve-O's Breakfast of Champions
      • JaronDiggGuy, on 08/04/2008, -7/+3You're stuck in the 90's, dude...
    • Managua8Green, on 08/04/2008, -0/+6yum.... I just dont' know where to start! They all just look so good.
    • jorichter, on 08/04/2008, -3/+32OM NOM NOM NOM

      I am so sorry... It fit...
    • goodinohio, on 08/04/2008, -0/+10What will Denny's name it?
      • LeonHRodriguez, on 08/04/2008, -0/+3The Grand Moroccan, I'd think.
      • brundlefly76, on 08/04/2008, -0/+3Denny's calls it "The Parking Lot Special"

        Is it just me, or are the correlations made in the story a bit of a stretch?
    • hauntedchippy, on 08/04/2008, -0/+18That's your five main foodgroups right there
    • abajaj2280, on 08/04/2008, -2/+3Hmmmm, bacon.
    • Cheeseburgers, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1hearty...as in heart attack.
    • GraceHead, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1Sober is better.
      Digg me down.
    • Nollykin, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1Can someone name them all? I've got weed, pills, coke, ?Hashish? - whats the brown powder? Heroin?
  • sonar1, on 08/04/2008, -13/+389There are two major products that came out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
    • spinchange, on 08/04/2008, -0/+79the cross-pollinated descendant distro is FreeLSD
    • Asdfglpwglion, on 08/04/2008, -5/+62I realise that you are being humorous, but LSD was discovered by a Swiss guy in Switzerland

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Hofmann
      • houndeyex, on 08/04/2008, -6/+60Where else do Swiss guys come from?
      • Ayavaron, on 08/04/2008, -4/+16@houndeyex
        It could've been invented by a Swiss guy while he was in Germany or something like that. There's nothing wrong with a little clarification.
      • WiretapStudios, on 08/04/2008, -4/+25Their mothers vaginas.
      • purzzzell, on 08/04/2008, -4/+20Yeah, but Timothy Leary, who got his PhD and was an assistant professor at Berkeley, is credited with spreading and popularizing LSD in the US.
      • akoostik, on 08/04/2008, -1/+3Albert Hoffman first tripped while riding on the back of a bicycle in 1938.
      • DeathJux, on 08/04/2008, -9/+3@purzzell

        If by "popularizing" you mean demonizing. Timothy Leary is almost single-handed responsible for the prolific misuse that spread after LSD was discovered, and the subsequent damnation by the government and the public in general, which led to tons of legitimate research being yanked and ridiculous potential benefits from that research destroyed.

        ***** Timothy Leary.
    • dn11, on 08/04/2008, -2/+10That should be in quotes......

      but anyway, UNIX, hell - the whole tech industry. The guys at Xerox that invented the GUI, the mouse and object oriented programming also partook. Back in the early 60s there were companies actually encouraging their engineers to take LSD!
    • TomSawyer, on 08/04/2008, -2/+24You're also wrong about UNIX. It came from New Jersey.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell_labs#1970s
      • spinchange, on 08/04/2008, -0/+10With respect to Ken Thompson and Dennis Ritchie, you're absolutely right, but were there no BSD it's fair to say "Unix" (vs. UNIX) would not be what it is today - or all that it has given to the field of CS. (not to slight the contributions of other branches, developers, etc)

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berkeley_Software_Dis ...

        A more accurate (and less funny) take on the joke would be, 'What Berkeley also did for Unix, Berkeley also did for LSD - We don't believe this to be a coincidence.'
      • B3nno, on 08/04/2008, -0/+4Man, Berkeley did nothing then!
    • dormat, on 08/04/2008, -3/+5BSD came out of Berkely, not UNIX. UNIX came from Bell Labs at AT&T.
    • djlmnts, on 08/05/2008, -1/+0Actually the Person who made LSD Main stream and out of the "spiritual" realm was Ken Kesey. Timothy Leary was very spiritual and used it in more controled settings at first. However Kesey was part of the MKULTRA Project at Stanford in 1959 where people volunterrred to be dosed with drugs including LSD. He wrote about his experiences in the book "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". He then began working at the lab as a night janitor and had the keys to the LSD. Then him and the Merry Pranksters took a trip across the country and on that trip realized that EVERYONE should be turned on to LSD. So then they began having the San Francisco Acids Tests in the early 60's. Along comes Owsley Stanley who thought big... REALLLLY BIG and began with Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters to dose anyone and everyone they could. The laws passed in California to outlaw LSD were actually called the Owsley Laws. So that is a brief history of how LSD got popular...
  • feshmania, on 08/04/2008, -14/+338Worst product to come from getting high? White dudes with dreadlocks.
    • edwartica, on 08/04/2008, -22/+2No, no, no. I nominate Jim Carey movies myself!
    • efitz11, on 08/04/2008, -0/+8bronson arroyo
      • foofightrs777, on 08/04/2008, -0/+2No wonder his starts are so hit and miss lol
      • serif69, on 08/04/2008, -0/+2^^ I'd say they're more hit and hit.
    • NSResponder, on 08/04/2008, -3/+16No, white chicks with dreadlocks are far worse.

      -jcr
      • mitch3323, on 08/04/2008, -1/+6actually i saw one who was extremly gorgeous
      • CindyMindy, on 08/04/2008, -2/+1Ever seen the bitch from 10,000 BC? The movie was *****, but she was fine.
    • samw1ns, on 08/04/2008, -1/+3and the bible in general, someone had to be high to make that ***** up.
      • MeatPlow, on 08/05/2008, -3/+1I remember reading in the Bible that Jesus got stoned off his ass. Get it? Ass...donkey. They threw rock at him...stoned.
    • theOster, on 08/05/2008, -1/+1the 80s douchebag
    • burnin8r28, on 08/05/2008, -0/+2"i just wanna fit in ],="
    • johnroth, on 08/05/2008, -1/+1I vote for Cakesters instead. Those things are ***** disgusting.
  • skewl, on 08/04/2008, -15/+92It really makes me want to see this new movie called Pineapple Express.
    • SquareHipster, on 08/04/2008, -8/+13That advertisment was so blatant that I actually cringed.
      Have they always been doing product placement like that and I've just failed to notice it, or what?
    • scheibs14, on 08/04/2008, -1/+30Product placement or not, the movie looks ***** hilarious and I was going to see it anyways
    • jorichter, on 08/04/2008, -9/+2"it really makes me want to see this new movie called Pineapple Express..."

      Fifth comment posted under the article... Steal much?
    • kakwakas, on 08/04/2008, -9/+5I'm leaving to go see an advanced screening of it in a few hours, suckers. :]
    • MRintheKeys, on 08/04/2008, -1/+13So am I....but I'm getting baked first......
    • Ryan166, on 08/04/2008, -10/+2That movie looks lame. And yes I'm a stoner, and I love M.I.A. Paper Planes.
      • faatbuddha, on 08/04/2008, -4/+2Listen, I'm sorry, but what the ***** does loving Paper Planes have to do with the movie? It's just a ***** trailer, the song probably isn't even in it.

        I'm sick and tired of everyone tying M.I.A. to something that is completely unrelated.
      • nuvarsity, on 08/04/2008, -2/+3dude, why you pissed? it's just a song, and some people like it for their own various reasons. and it was just in a trailer. get with the world buddy.
      • tyler0is0sexy, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1You're cool.
    • ZeroIce, on 08/05/2008, -1/+2I saw last Wed... It's hilarious. You should get ripped before seeing it though..
  • lnf69, on 08/04/2008, -4/+7I couldn't read the site, blocked from here at work.

    I was wondering if anyone would be so kind as to post the list here, please?
    • pinguy, on 08/04/2008, -1/+33Why would cracked.com be blocked but not digg?

      anyway.

      5. Francis Crick Discovers DNA Thanks to LSD
      4. Freud and Cocaine Invent Psychoanalysis
      3. A Coke Addict Makes a Coke-Flavored Cola and Calls it Coke
      2. Dock Ellis Trips His Way to a No-Hitter
      1. Moses Takes 'Shrooms, ***** Out Ten Commandments
      • lnf69, on 08/04/2008, -1/+33I told my boss Digg is important for my research. I think I would have a hard time selling cracked.com as such.


        anyway.....
        on a more serious note:

        Sir Arthur Canon Doyle was a dope addict and usually stoned while writing, that's why he made Sherlock Holmes a dope addict.

        I've also heard similar rumors about Charles Lutwidge Dodgson/Lewis Carrol (Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass).

        Also, Ken Keasy was on LCD and worked in a mental hospital, which was his inspiration for One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
        I just wanted to add that to the list, but perhaps the list was more of a joke.
      • toxicshok, on 08/04/2008, -3/+1He must have had a big mouth to eat all those tabs of LCD.
      • purzzzell, on 08/04/2008, -3/+4I've worked at at least two companies that blocked Cracked and not Digg.
      • bwdd, on 08/04/2008, -5/+1One time digg was blocked at my school, but a week later it was back 0_o.
    • revjustin2, on 08/04/2008, -2/+1Seth Rogan: "It's about getting high and shooting guns. I want to see that movie right now!"
  • PathmarkPolice, on 08/04/2008, -15/+8What about Bush while he was becoming president?
    • RoccoMcTaco, on 08/04/2008, -0/+18That would be the opposite of this article.
    • coyote1284, on 08/04/2008, -2/+3Great accomplishment for *him*, the world OTOH... you get the idea.
    • edwartica, on 08/04/2008, -1/+9They said the greatest things ever acomplished, not the worst blunders.
    • leojsoap, on 08/04/2008, -1/+4I think he did a pretty good job of proving that just being president is not a great accomplishment if you're consistently high/idiotic in office.
  • PSotter, on 08/04/2008, -2/+100Kary Mullis, total stoner, thought up the polymerase chain reaction (PCR) while tripping balls on LSD and completely revolutionized biotechnology for which he won the Nobel prize in 1993. Nearly ALL of biological and medical research is conducted using this method and we would be hopelessely stuck in the 70s (scientifically) without it.
    • aristone, on 08/04/2008, -1/+16++ PSotter, Kary should have definitely been on the list.

      His drug use was the reason he was NOT used as an expert witness for the infamous OJ Simpson trial.
    • SPRFRKR, on 08/04/2008, -1/+3I think that is great. But if you hear Richard Feynman tell his tale about his LSD experience when he had one of the standard acid epiphanies while mid trip and get all excited to think he had a huge, perfectly clear breakthrough in a physics problem, only to have it resolve to be completely untrue when he sobered up to where he even thought the concept was foolish. Though, no one can argue the change of perspective it gives.
      • the2989, on 08/05/2008, -0/+2Yeah, not everything you think up (sober or tripping) works out. Otherwise there probably would be scientists everywhere doing it all the time, and many more frequent breakthroughs.
    • toxicshok, on 08/04/2008, -1/+4Yeah but Kary Mullis isnt' the greatest example since it's been down hill for him. Ever since he denied HIV causes AIDS and that CFC deplete the ozone.
    • Triticum, on 08/04/2008, -0/+3How true is this really? I mean, it's not like the idea came to him out of nowhere (Kleppe et al., 1971. J Mol Biol., for example). Plus he was working alongside a team at Cetus. That's not to say he didn't contribute significantly to the development of PCR, and he may well have been tripping in those days, but it's not like a totally brand new process just materialized out of the ether because he was tripping...it seems more like it was something he and others had already been thinking about for a while.
      • the2989, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1"but it's not like a totally brand new process just materialized out of the ether because he was tripping"

        Actually, it probably was. If you've never tripped, you can never realize just how much your thinking mechanics are changed during the experience, not to mention the simplicity that it comes to you with.
      • Triticum, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1In my experience, when things appear out of nowhere or appear to be something they are not, they always take the form of something that my mind has already been exposed to (true even of abstract/geometric shapes and patterns). If you've never been to DisneyWorld, you can't take LSD and know what it's like to be at DisneyWorld...you can only take LSD and imagine what it's like to be at DisneyWorld based on what you may have seen or read about DisneyWorld. Somebody who didn't even know DisneyWorld existed wouldn't spontaneously be able to accurately imagine that place (though they might see flying elephants). So all I'm saying is that if LSD helped him develop PCR, it's because he had been thinking about the subject already...he had primed his brain for the revelation, so it wasn't a de novo epiphany. He was already a biologist, and that prepared him to make a biological realization. I'm sure you know how when tripping, you can actually see things you could only otherwise imagine (or at least trick your brain into thinking you see things). Maybe he tried to see the DNA, or brought it from his realm of mental pictures to the realm of visual pictures, enabling him to grasp the concept better.

    • melissa1031, on 08/05/2008, -0/+2i get to use mr. mullis' discovery nearly every day of the week. i think about his stonage often when my pcr products get jacked up. i need the answers for a certain knock-in gene. note to self: i can haz drugz!!1
  • MaxIsBored, on 08/04/2008, -43/+5People already know about cracked.com. every time a new article comes out, it's front page on digg.

    We get it. Cracked is funny, but we don't need to be reminded all the time, find some original material.
    • jorichter, on 08/04/2008, -1/+10It's not about reminding people all the time... They consistently have funny articles and update daily, so people Digg them to share the funny...

      Deal with it.
    • 6minuteabs, on 08/05/2008, -0/+0Cut/Paste your comment to that digg firehose of ***** called Huffington Post. I'll actually read this one.
  • lacaid, on 08/04/2008, -8/+255"If you don’t believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor. Go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your CDs and burn them. Because you know what? All those musicians who made that great music that’s enhanced our lives throughout the years? Real *****’ high on drugs." -- Bill Hicks
    • galvo, on 08/04/2008, -3/+113R-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-rr-r-r-rr-r-r-r-r-rr-r-real *****' high on drugs.
      • 1807, on 08/04/2008, -1/+2You know I believe that was also at the end of a TOOL Album. I wanna say Undertow or Aenima
    • edwartica, on 08/04/2008, -8/+1Ok, as someone who writes and does not do any drugs, I take issue with the mindset that one must be high if they let there creative centers run wild. Sure, a lot of creative people have been high while creating, but a lot of people just have a talent to see things differently.
      • JustShutUp, on 08/04/2008, -2/+12and a lot of those people use the word "there" instead of "their"
      • dlllb, on 08/05/2008, -0/+3A 'talent' as you put it is a skill that is defined by the rules you set around yourself. If you take drugs and become high then those rules are no longer valid and your 'talent' can become more free.
      • JustinHopewell, on 09/13/2008, -0/+1dlllb, can't agree more!
    • possiblyneil, on 08/04/2008, -1/+11God:
      Oh my Me I have left pot everywhere. *sigh*
      Now I guess Il have to create republicans.--Bill Hicks
    • 33PercentGod, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1Hello...

      Is there anybody in there?
  • beaverfetus, on 08/04/2008, -13/+24I call a big BS on the first entry about DNA.

    the discovery of DNA has been described by many times by journalists including James Watson, and Francis Crick was neither high nor the person to come up with the idea of the double helix.

    He was instrumental in helping Watson actually turn the vague idea of a double helix into a model that made scientific sense, and convincing x-ray crystallographers that they had something.
    • toxicshok, on 08/04/2008, -4/+13Yeah and it was actually a third person a girl named Ruth something, who never got any credit, who's x-ray crystallography pictures they "borrowed"
      • hush79, on 08/04/2008, -0/+11Rosalind Frankiln
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosalind_Franklin
      • Dainjah, on 08/04/2008, -0/+10Franklin's partner Maurice Wilkins got the Nobel Prize along with Watson and Crick. Franklin died before they won it; unfortunately they don't award it posthumously or she would have got one too. Any genetics class will go into detail about Rosalind Franklin's contribution so she gets a lot of credit just not the mainstream recognition Watson and Crick get.
      • Psi57, on 08/04/2008, -1/+3They basically went to Science and said "Listen, we figured out DNA, but we stole this chick's research to do it. She should probably get credit, but she has a vagina and thus can't do science."
    • chemchris, on 08/04/2008, -0/+24correct, it was Rosalind Franklin. W & C took her xray pictures from her and published their results first.

      You could add Kekule to this list though. He was the first to propose the cyclic structure of benzene (though the formula was known prior.) He envisioned the structure while tripping on LSD and looking into his fireplace, where he was a dragon eating its own tail and related it to the ring structure of the molecule.
    • itspuddingtime, on 08/04/2008, -0/+7the 1953 Watson & Crick paper, if anyone's interested (read it, it's only one page):
      http://www.nature.com/nature/dna50/watsoncrick.pdf
      They actually do cite Dr. Rosalind Franklin's x-ray diffraction images in the final paragraph of the article. Like all scientists, they took the mountain of evidence amassed by others before them, and took the final step themselves (and got all the credit).
      • slodojo, on 08/04/2008, -0/+1Thanks for that. Never even thought to look up the article.
      • Niightwitch, on 08/04/2008, -0/+5"If I have seen farther, it's because I have stood upon the backs of giants."

        - Isaac Newton -
    • sporefrog, on 08/04/2008, -4/+2The idea had for the helix (single, double, triple) had been put forth by many other scientists, and was based off of years and years of theory produced through dedication, creativity, and hard work. LSD played neither a crucial role, nor even a mentionable role, in the discovery of the double helix, and had Watson and Crick not published their paper then, hundreds of other scientists who were all working on the problem would have.

      Though self-justification and sensationalist claims are fun anyway, right?
    • MarkCiccone, on 08/04/2008, -0/+5On more than one acid trip I've seen DNA strands in the clouds, trees, ground rocks where ever. It makes perfect sense that he discovered the helix while tripping, and coupled with his scientifically trained mind was able to realize how this shape could be how DNA looks.
    • Rikka, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1I honestly don't know why you aren't getting dugg up more, because you're perfectly correct. I can also say for sure that this is true; my biology class covered this, and If you want a citation: http://www.accessexcellence.org/RC/AB/BC/Search_fo ...
  • leladax, on 08/04/2008, -22/+31The Revelations of John.

    It's a good surrealistic read. Genuinely good fiction.
    • ladysherwood, on 08/04/2008, -5/+3NICE!!
    • leladax, on 08/04/2008, -3/+9I'm honest. I find it as a very good example of surrealism. If you read it as fiction you'll be blown away by its metaphorical wit.
    • BIGJHUB, on 08/04/2008, -2/+4You are a fool.
  • leladax, on 08/04/2008, -44/+7Reads like an LSD user's rant.

    Bury it to hell.

    There's absolutely no proof "the drug invented it".

    Clear advertisement for drugs.
    • boojoy, on 08/04/2008, -3/+15...sigh....
    • txtphile, on 08/04/2008, -2/+25"Drug dealers don't sell drugs. Drugs sell themselves. It's crack. It's not an encyclopedia. It's not a ***** vacuum cleaner. You don't really gotta try to sell crack. Ok?

      I've never heard a crack dealer going "Man, how am I gonna get rid of all this crack?!"

      -Chris Rock
  • dn11, on 08/04/2008, -21/+3Freud inventing a whole system of pseudo science based around his own personal coked out fantasies about raping his mom and murdering his father? No. Not a great accomplishment or a great contribution to western civilization. Thanks for nothing nut case.
    • jorichter, on 08/04/2008, -2/+4You just don't get it do you?
    • Cenobite, on 08/04/2008, -2/+7Thanks for your input, Mr. Cruise.
    • dn11, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1excuse me? Freudian psychology is not science. It is pseudoscience of the highest order. I would have thought people on digg would understand that. I guess not.
  • edwardmluk, on 08/04/2008, -2/+19Where's the Charlie Murphy/Rick James shenanigans?
  • galvo, on 08/04/2008, -24/+70The Bible was definitely written by some dude smoking way too much weed and taking way too much ergot.
    • Garlik, on 08/04/2008, -1/+8"Some dude" implies that the Bible was written by one person...
      • Wakkyweed, on 08/04/2008, -0/+8Some dudes. There, fixed it for ya.
      • edwartica, on 08/04/2008, -1/+3It should actually be "some people." Parts of Genesis were written by a woman.
      • insllvn, on 08/04/2008, -0/+5edwartica: Where did you hear that? I don't disbelieve you, I would just be interested in any knowledge we might have on the authors of genesis.
    • zip000, on 08/04/2008, -1/+2I was surprised that the article didn't mention ergot...I'd think that Moses was more likely to get stoned on that than on mushrooms.
    • Stavrosian, on 08/04/2008, -3/+13I have a feeling the Old Testament may have been written during a very nasty comedown.
      • serif69, on 08/04/2008, -2/+6Or a bad trip.
      • dylio, on 08/04/2008, -0/+5*two guys light up*
        "Hey man, what if like some dude came and made all this ***** in seven days? Like he made rivers and oceans and then plants and land and *****. Then the animals, and then like, us!"
        "Yeah, and what if like our ribs made that chick over there"
        *passes bowl around*
        "This is some good *****."
        "Yeah, hey chick this out. It's some new ***** the guys in the village got. It's these mushrooms they found"
        *they nom on them*
        "This isn't that ba- hey, hey man why you freaking out?"
        "OH *****!!!! OUR CREATOR WANTS ABRAHAM TO KILL HIS SON!"
        "WHO THE ***** IS ABRAHAM?!"
        "BAAAAAD TRIP!"
    • ax8284, on 08/04/2008, -0/+3Ergot isn't something I imagine too many people experimented with. Most people that had ergot poisoning didn't survive their rampant trip.
    • Qumahlin, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1Actually they were chewing on bark. Acacia bark to be exact. Which also happens to contain a powerful hallucinogen similar to Iboga or DMT.

      If you've never tried DMT or Iboga....go do it. It's life altering, and not in a bad way.
  • leladax, on 08/04/2008, -17/+2The author tries to prove "the drug invented" them. That's ridiculous, stupid, and proves how drugs can inflict a common case of idiotic stupidity with overtones of bollocks.
  • lmp49, on 08/04/2008, -11/+5i love this list, but wish it were longer. it's a shame they couldn't include anything by artists (Zeppelin, Jim Morrison, ... )
  • leladax, on 08/04/2008, -27/+4digg users try to prove again smoking pot is going well in their lives.
    • bullox, on 08/04/2008, -2/+21Step off the soapbox and preach to someone who will give a *****.
      • leladax, on 08/04/2008, -13/+2why are you so protective of your *****.
      • bullox, on 08/04/2008, -0/+20I don't smoke weed, and I don't pretend that I'm above anyone who does.
    • raquel9e, on 08/04/2008, -0/+8Actually, not a single one of these had to do with marijuana. I saw LSD, cocaine, cocaine, LSD, and shrooms. Now please stop spamming comment threads.
    • ireland88, on 08/04/2008, -0/+3I know my life is in ruins ever since i started smoking pot. : ( ......sike!!!!
      • Wakkyweed, on 08/04/2008, -1/+3Were you too stoned to spell "psych"?

        Not that there's anything wrong with that...
  • roddack, on 08/04/2008, -6/+5damn now I got the munchies
  • 5xSTUN, on 08/04/2008, -5/+50I think that it's hilarious that the most vociferous adherents of ancient, drug-fueled religions will gleefully support our draconian anti-drug laws, promising long stretches in prison for those who would experience the very types of hallucinations that are written down in every holy book in the world. Read the Book of Revelation sometime... that was a shroom trip if I've ever heard one.
    • Carsonauto, on 08/05/2008, -6/+1"...most vociferous adherents of ancient, drug-fueled religions will gleefully support our draconian anti-drug laws... "

      ***** you
  • dmark77, on 08/04/2008, -2/+10Its amazing how clean I get my place after smoking up. Kitchen, living room, bedroom - all vacuumed, dusted, and polished :)
    • zombies187, on 08/04/2008, -0/+15You should come over and get high...
    • Wakkyweed, on 08/04/2008, -0/+41. Hotel hands out weed to maids at start of shift.

      2. Maids clean hotel with obsessive-compulsive intensity.

      3. ?????????

      4. Profit and good times for everyone!
    • ax8284, on 08/04/2008, -0/+7this sounds more like the smoking up of meth.
      • bweltondav, on 08/04/2008, -0/+3A little, but I think the implication is that he wants to rid his home of the weed smell.
    • nathanbutnet, on 08/04/2008, -0/+2Dusted with what?
  • GibitStylin, on 08/04/2008, -2/+99pitching a no hitter on acid. what a mind *****, there would be trails on everything.
    • WiretapStudios, on 08/04/2008, -12/+4And tails on everyone.
    • 8randon, on 08/04/2008, -0/+17ya, it's pretty amazing. but still, the article fails to mention that ellis had EIGHT walks and even hit a batter..

      http://www.snopes.com/sports/baseball/ellis.asp
      • ronaldinho, on 08/10/2008, -0/+1Even then, he's still got a no-hitter. Props to him, dugg!
    • rationalbeats, on 08/04/2008, -0/+11I went and read his wiki entry and it's quite a read.

      "Attempting to hit every batter in the Cincinnati Reds lineup on May 1, 1974. In an effort to prove a point to teammates, Ellis hit Pete Rose, Joe Morgan, and Dan Driessen in the top of the first. The clean-up batter Tony Perez avoided Ellis' attempts, instead drawing a walk, and after two pitches aimed at the head of Johnny Bench, Ellis was removed from the game by manager Danny Murtaugh. Ellis' box score for the game reads: 0 IP, 0 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 0 K.[5]"
  • FlorenceW, on 08/04/2008, -16/+8Anyone ready to begin the list the 500million saddest things that never got accomplished becuase the poor mo fo was a stoned bum?
    • zombies187, on 08/04/2008, -0/+11That would be not very funny and too long. I would have to bury it.
  • WeedCollege, on 08/04/2008, -16/+6They forgot to mention the Potman game on my website. I can personally guarantee this was created while high...
    http://www.weedcollege.com/potman/
    • BoneStamp, on 08/04/2008, -3/+3Pac-man + Pot = Awesome
    • ireland88, on 08/04/2008, -1/+3Cool I get to make a flash game this month in class, I think I will spark up and see what happens haha.
  • cbegin, on 08/04/2008, -8/+3How did Ross Rebagliati not make this list? The dude won a gold medal while smoked out on pot... not exactly a performance enhancing drug. At least not if I believe the PSAs.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ross_Rebagliati
  • orangefly, on 08/04/2008, -0/+10also, about 1,000 things to do with ramen noodles....
    • hairyshins, on 08/04/2008, -0/+4i myself have come up with at least a good 30...
  • chompapotamus, on 08/04/2008, -4/+3bad ass. pitchers can trip their balls off until they are throwing in bullet time!
  • borez, on 08/04/2008, -4/+4Good list of famous drug addicts

    http://www.erowid.org/culture/characters/character ...
    • Knives, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1They're not all "addicts," just users.
  • Session88, on 08/04/2008, -7/+0awesome, hahaha

    although i didn't know shrooms could kill you, have to take that one of the list
    • Protoss, on 08/04/2008, -2/+5Well..they are poisonous.
      • kerbe6, on 08/04/2008, -3/+1No, no they're not, actually.
      • monroylobo, on 08/04/2008, -1/+2Yeah, the toxicity is what gives them the hallucinogenic properties.
      • kerbe6, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1Wrong. Something that is toxic causes damage to the body. The chemicals in magic mushrooms do no such thing.
    • cawpin, on 08/04/2008, -4/+2Anything, including water, can kill you if you consume too much of it. I'm just giving an example here, so don't take it to mean that shrooms are safe. They're really not a good thing to do to yourself.
    • jorichter, on 08/04/2008, -1/+1"of the list"

      ...
    • whatno, on 08/04/2008, -0/+6The WRONG kind of shrooms will kill you. There are very poisonous ones and non poisonous obvoiusly.

      The shrooms people usually get high on are Magic Mushrooms, which are any shrooms containing Psilocybin. Psilocybin won't hurt you at all unless you take a TON of it.

      "The lethal dose from psilocybin intake alone is unknown at recreational or medicinal levels, and has never been documented; psilocybin makes up roughly 1% of the weight of Psilocybe mushrooms, and so nearly 1.7 kilograms of dried mushrooms, or 17 kilograms of fresh mushrooms, would be required for a 60kg person to reach the 280mg/kg LD50 rate of rats."
    • kerbe6, on 08/04/2008, -0/+9They weren't saying that "magic mushrooms" can kill you. They were warning against the danger involved in eating wrongly identified mushrooms. ..This is very easy to do as there are thousands of different kinds of mushrooms and identifying them properly is something that takes a lot of time and experience to learn.

      No one has ever died due to physiological effects of Psilocybin/Psilocin (Magic) mushrooms, by the way.
  • Namaha, on 08/04/2008, -10/+59Moses: "Guys! Guys! God just talked to me as a burning bush!"
    Random Hebrew: "...S-Sure he did. Moses, we think maybe you've been burnin' some bush..."

    -Jim Gaffigan
  • riptor666, on 08/04/2008, -7/+2So the lesson here is if I'm having a problem I just take drugs to make them all better, or better yet actually solve my problems unlike alcohol?
  • holyreality, on 08/04/2008, -3/+19kinda makes me want to drop at least 3 of those 15 hits of acid in my desk right now....
    • lolmax, on 08/04/2008, -0/+5do it. you can possibly be mentioned on cracked.com!
  • Namakemono, on 08/04/2008, -1/+30This coming from a magazine called "Cracked".
  • Br3ach, on 08/04/2008, -1/+8Must have been the life back then, they prescribed cocaine and heroine for every problem you can have.
    • toxicshok, on 08/04/2008, -0/+3heroin was only prescribe for morphine addiction, and heroine is a female hero
    • Psi57, on 08/04/2008, -1/+1Well, they do work.

      After all, how concerned are you gonna be about a toothache or something while you are tripping balls.
      • Iztikeit, on 08/04/2008, -0/+1Tripping does not help with pain, my friend. And Heroin definitely doesn't cause one to trip.
    • Qumahlin, on 08/05/2008, -0/+2I'll take cocaine and heroin over the ***** they shovel into us now like paxil
  • teethandeyes, on 08/04/2008, -17/+0No mention of Doc Ellis and his no-hitter thrown while high on LSD for the Pirates in the 70's?
    • enjoyincubus19, on 08/04/2008, -0/+13Did you read the article? Can you read at all?
    • dngbauer, on 08/04/2008, -0/+6Are you really that big of a dummy?
    • icantdenythis, on 08/04/2008, -8/+1He was being sarcastic. . . DUhhhhhhhhh
  • edwartica, on 08/04/2008, -3/+2One thing left from this list..."Ginsberg's "Howl." Such an interesting piece! And he was doped up on anything and everything he could get his hands on.
  • scot333, on 08/04/2008, -7/+11I love drugs.
  • galvo, on 08/04/2008, -12/+41. Lateralus
    2. 10,000
    3. Aenima
    4. Undertow
    5. Salival.
    • GenericJoshman, on 08/04/2008, -0/+4Woah woah woah, what the ***** is that list?
      You're clearly missing the point of Aenima if 10,000 days is above it..
      • galvo, on 08/04/2008, -0/+2It's not a top 5 list. It's a list of the 5 greatest things ever accomplished while high...

        Obviously you're a little high.
    • zip000, on 08/04/2008, -2/+5I happen to be listening to Tool right now at work, and you've got those in a crap order.
      1. Ænima
      2. Undertow
      3. Lateralus
      4. 10,000 Days
      5. Opiate
      6. Salival

      (I had to debate on 2 and 3)
      • galvo, on 08/04/2008, -2/+1Please refer to my other post. If you can actually READ something, you'd notice it'd not a TOP 5 list, but simply a list of 5 great things accomplished while high.
      • zip000, on 08/04/2008, -0/+3When I clicked reply, your second post wasn't there.

        No need to be a douche about it.
    • psylemon, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1See, I think drugs have done some good things for us, I really do, and if you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor: Go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your CDs and burn them. Cause you know what? The musicians who made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years? Real *****' high on drugs
  • brstilson, on 08/04/2008, -4/+15They forgot one:

    Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
  • socialrebel, on 08/04/2008, -8/+3Dugg for the Moses bit. LOL!
  • cheekdog, on 08/04/2008, -1/+24"But baseball history was the last thing on Ellis' mind, keeping his ***** together while a bunch of giant lizards ***** in the on-deck circle being the first." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
    • DRUNKSLAMCHEST, on 08/04/2008, -0/+2picked out my favorite line too.
    • hotpuck6, on 08/04/2008, -0/+1Just about to post that too.
      best line of the day.
    • snafflepaffle, on 08/04/2008, -0/+5My favorite was "faced down a lineup that had woken up knowing what day it was, and also had the upper hand in the "not on acid" category"
    • nobleexperiment, on 08/04/2008, -0/+1My San Diego Padres = Giant Lizard Orgy Lineup.
      Awesome :(
  • dthebear, on 08/04/2008, -1/+8drugs are the lubricant of this world, makes it turn more smoothly and energetically.
  • dizilbdog, on 08/04/2008, -8/+20Ahhh now I see why drugs are illegal in the United States it's so we don't get ideas and use them to better the earth and the world and human kind. Ahhh now I see thank you marijuana he he.
    • paradox4190, on 08/04/2008, -0/+3Actually, the drugs mentioned are illegal in the majority of the world, not just the US, so your conspiracy theory should take that into account too.
  • digitalgreek, on 08/04/2008, -7/+2I love Cracked.com's cynical humor!
  • Flipperbw, on 08/04/2008, -16/+4The *Only* 5 things Accomplished While High
    • Luke1h7, on 08/04/2008, -1/+3That's not a good joke.
    • toxicshok, on 08/04/2008, -0/+6more than you have accomplished
      • Flipperbw, on 08/04/2008, -4/+1you sure?
      • psylemon, on 08/05/2008, -0/+2yeah, i would say discovering DNA, pitching a no-hitter and all of that other ***** are way more than you've ever accomplished. ..narrow minded *****
  • txtphile, on 08/04/2008, -3/+8I'd be utterly gobsmacked if there was a single religion that wasn't based on someone tripping on something.
  • Frozo, on 08/04/2008, -0/+4#6 The World of Sid and Marty Krofft
  • twmulloy, on 08/04/2008, -9/+66music today is horrible because there's not enough drug usage.
    • bunkka, on 08/04/2008, -1/+33not all music...electronic music is at its best
      • infiniphunk, on 08/04/2008, -0/+2nah, it was back in 1991-1992 when hardcore and jungle hit the scene. But then again there was still a lot of good acid around back then.
    • ireland88, on 08/04/2008, -1/+3Then bring on the extacy!
    • bosssmiley, on 08/04/2008, -1/+5And even the musicians who are on drugs (Docherty, Winehouse, etc.) don't have the musical chops to claim 'rock god' status.
    • dthebear, on 08/04/2008, -3/+3that, is on, please go to a rave, for the sake of love
    • sporefrog, on 08/04/2008, -0/+3Or the lack of musical prowess to play anything beyond power chords on an electric guitar, or the lack of intelligence and insight to come up with lyrics beyond highschool drama.... those might contribute too.
    • elscorcho717, on 08/04/2008, -0/+6i go to berklee... we're workin on it, ok?
      • MrSparkle666, on 08/05/2008, -0/+0Oh... THAT school Berklee... Enjoy working off your debt at starbucks after you graduate.
    • RcHer, on 08/04/2008, -0/+2It all makes so much sense now!
    • richmonkey3, on 08/05/2008, -0/+2it appears that way because the ones that do make good music don't get a lot of press. pop music is prepackaged. but queens of the stoneage, black rebel motorcycle club, the dandy warhols, and radiohead - they
      are totally on something.

      but yes they will never be as popular as the beatles or zeppelin or hendrix, drugs are bad in our society today so bands that do them will not be popular.
    • TheImaginator, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1Nah - it's because there's no joy in it.
    • PimpSetBitch, on 08/06/2008, -1/+0I agree. Music needs drugs. The beatles, eminem, jimi hendrix and bob marley were on some heavy ***** back then
  • briLo, on 08/04/2008, -9/+2Drugs are bad hmmmmmkaaaaaaaay!
  • derjames, on 08/04/2008, -0/+4What about Mario and Luigi?, they are high most of the time because of Mushrooms.
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