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The 5 Most Overrated Jobs Of All-Time

cracked.com — Whatever happened to the real men? The gunslingers and swordsmen who charged into adventure on horseback? Well, it turns out they all quit, because being a real man kind of sucked. All of those badass jobs they made movies about were all pretty much worse than the job you have now. Such as ...

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  • BeShirtHappy, on 10/03/2008, -11/+55lol. Being a knight would really suck when you had to go to the bathroom.
    • leerayIG88, on 10/03/2008, -0/+13You could wear a diaper. It's perfect for 'on the go' situations.
    • lilq87, on 10/03/2008, -11/+0I also thing so
    • frasermoo, on 10/03/2008, -3/+1"nothing says excitement quite like forcing a dim-eyed beast into a corner to have someone saw off its balls"

      I just cried. This article makes up for some of the recent crappy ones they have done.
    • rpgmaker, on 10/03/2008, -0/+3It sucked for the guy that had to clean the armor in which the knight made all his physiological needs when he was in a battle...
    • ModernGeek, on 10/03/2008, -0/+10Firefighter needs to be on this list. We look all cool on TV and such, but when it is all said and done, what your job really involves is walking through a charred home, pulling down sheetrock and getting blown insulation all over you, looking for hot spots after the fire is put out in a few minutes. If it is a huge fire, everything is so unorganized, the place burns to the ground, and instead of sifting through a charred single family home, it is an industrial complex. The worst is when something has a metal roof, and you have to somehow remove the big sheets of metal to get to the hot coals.
      • Niightwitch, on 10/03/2008, -0/+7I think cops and firefighters have some of the toughest jobs in the world - you earn every penny you're paid and you're not paid enough.
      • ModernGeek, on 10/06/2008, -0/+1I'm volunteer, so I don't get paid a cent, my full time job is in IT Consulting. Don't get me wrong though, I love almost every aspect of firefighting, and would recommend that anybody join their local volunteer fire department. It's a great way to help out your community, and become connected to the people around you.
    • TheMagician2007, on 10/03/2008, -0/+1Being an F1 driver during a race would also suck when you would have to go to bathroom.
  • RevAradia, on 10/03/2008, -10/+15NO joke. But what about the other baddass jobs. Policemen, firemen, or did I miss that part?
    • redfred18t, on 10/03/2008, -2/+51I'm pretty sure being a cop or fireman isn't overrated
      • dafragsta, on 10/03/2008, -1/+12Aside from the getting shot or incinerated part.
    • Alli3388, on 10/03/2008, -2/+5Yeah, I think being a cop and fireman is actually a really good job in the scheme of things... Sure, there is a small chance you'll die, but the enormous ego you're allowed to have if you're a cop or a firefighter is more than worth it as far as I can tell. Plus, the ones who don't have the cajonies to put themselves in danger can do ***** like being a school liaison, a desk jockey, or a city embassador cop, who dresses in formal gear and gives tourist direction and poses for pictures... Whatever floats your boat I guess.
      Wish I'd become a cop when I had a chance. I think I was scared I'd be humiliated in the physical tests. :-P
  • jasonXhendrix, on 10/03/2008, -2/+67I wanna be batman on horseback.
  • amitait, on 10/03/2008, -14/+97Is it so hard to put it all on the same page?
    • Sunflare670, on 10/03/2008, -2/+5Yes. Yes it is.
    • JesperL, on 10/03/2008, -1/+27Craaaaaaazily enough, sites like Cracked.com do rely on advertising money, and more page views mean more money.

      ***** man, it's 2 pages. It's hardly overkill.
    • cor315, on 10/03/2008, -1/+1210 pages is when I get pissed, but 2 pages. Give me a break man, it won't kill you to hit one button
    • rockon4life45, on 10/04/2008, -0/+5is everybody really that lazy?
  • S7aind, on 10/03/2008, -1/+29This was posted a few weeks ago, strange Cracked removed it and put it up now.
  • AmyVernon, on 10/03/2008, -0/+56Notice how many of these involved pooping?
  • jasonXhendrix, on 10/03/2008, -1/+10This is a great article. I'm surprised it doesn't have more diggs. I guess the readers don't like to think of manly jobs as genuinely *****. Makes them feel less like they'd be able to do them.
    • Hetman, on 10/03/2008, -0/+2Here is the thing. I do not digg cracked articles. It is not because I dislike cracked. I just prefer to go directly to cracked in the morning and see if their is anything that is new or look interesting. I do comment on some stories but it just seems odd to digg them when you can go directly to cracked.
  • drmobutu, on 10/03/2008, -11/+5POTUS...gets no respect, these days...
    • IphtashuFitz, on 10/03/2008, -3/+17POTUS deserves no respect these days...
  • KenSPT, on 10/03/2008, -1/+25Since when is Samurai actually considered a job?
    • zacbro, on 10/03/2008, -2/+42It's a way of life... Much like file clerk.
    • IphtashuFitz, on 10/03/2008, -1/+19It's basically the same as a knight...
    • CrushThemTorg, on 10/04/2008, -0/+5Thank God I didn't get that samurai job I saw on Monster.
    • Samurai77, on 10/04/2008, -0/+3Your other choice was rice farmer, that's how; you worked or served the shogun.
  • PrinceMissile, on 10/03/2008, -0/+17MY TIME MACHINE WORKED!
  • fadetoone, on 10/03/2008, -9/+3Steve Jobs.
  • Misinformant, on 10/03/2008, -15/+8#6: architect

    TRUST ME
    • Scott83k, on 10/03/2008, -0/+5Agreed, I as well was looking for this on the list.... ***** my life
    • CrushThemTorg, on 10/04/2008, -0/+5Wait ... are you telling me that being an architect isn't an orgy of post-structuralism and Howard Roark monologues?
  • Codik, on 10/03/2008, -9/+2Lawyer should be on that list.
  • bcrich999, on 10/03/2008, -9/+1At 207 diggs so far, this is the most overrated "funny" list of all time.
  • smaskat, on 10/03/2008, -8/+24#7: Computer Programmer

    You may assume computer programmers are all hackers like those in the movies, with almost unrestricted access to do anything in the world.

    Why it sucks?

    Because computer programmers don't have such power.
    • baldgye, on 10/03/2008, -3/+4who rates a computer programmer as a good job?

      people who know ***** about programming, will think your a nerd.
      and people who do know ***** about programming wont talk to you.
      • smaskat, on 10/03/2008, -11/+5Are you kidding me? You should see the women who fawn over me when I mention that I am a computer programmer? They instantly attract to me like flies to a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. But that is because of the assumption in their minds that I am capable of world domination through my awesome computer programming skills. But alas, it is not true, I can only dominate so much.
      • TechMike, on 10/03/2008, -0/+3Architecture and design are good jobs. Coding takes the fun away.
    • meruru, on 10/03/2008, -0/+38I don't think anyone looks at computer programmers that way. It's more like "oh you're a computer programmer, would you mind fixing my computer for me?"
      • speedk0re, on 10/03/2008, -0/+10that why i always told people my major is astronomy. You get a lot less calls on the weekend for fixing people's printers/Linksys problems.
      • TSK05, on 10/03/2008, -0/+5I always tell people my major is astronomy because it is astronomy.
      • m00n1, on 10/04/2008, -0/+10Hey, my telescope is broken. Would you mind popping over and having a look at it for me?
      • jikuty, on 10/04/2008, -0/+3^^^

        I logged in just to digg that.
    • IglooBurner, on 10/03/2008, -0/+18I'm a programmer, I actually enjoy my job.
      Programming can be fun, if given enough freedom.
      Problem is it makes for horrible bar talk.
    • speedk0re, on 10/03/2008, -0/+11i call *****!!! Try being QA. If things go correct, it's "GREAT JOB MR COMPUTER PROGRAMMER!!"
      If things go wrong, it's "WTF Q.A. How could you have not spotted this?!?" At least programmers/developers get the glory.
    • trollick, on 10/03/2008, -0/+7I think you are mistaking a programmer with an uber hacker villain, which is not even a job.

      Normal programmer=good pay, nice office, interesting work. Nothing is overrated about that.
      • pinniger, on 10/03/2008, -3/+2If you have good pay , nice office, and interesting work, then I guess I need a job where ever you work
  • PhAndrew, on 10/03/2008, -7/+5i still want to be a samurai :)
  • zzz@tkz, on 10/03/2008, -3/+28I always thought the Samurai code was badass. Seppuku was an incredibly honorable thing to do.
    • audomatix, on 10/03/2008, -8/+15and incredibly stupid.
    • Hetman, on 10/03/2008, -1/+47I agree with you Seppuku is an incredibly honorable things to do. It is still one of the reasons that japanese suicide rates are the highest of any devoloped country. At least when their bankers screw over their investors and the general welfare of the people, they have the common decency to kill themselfs.
      • RaulMuadDib, on 10/03/2008, -1/+6themselves
      • elijahalcantara, on 10/03/2008, -0/+6Right on. Their sense of shame is somewhat of a good thing, but I believe nowadays when some japanese screws up they either step down or resign. Unlike in other countries ...
      • ronaldinho, on 10/06/2008, -0/+1Like America. There. I completed your sentence.
    • Ramble, on 10/03/2008, -7/+2+1 for natural selection.
  • Weed86, on 10/03/2008, -9/+2Being a porn star is the most Overrated in my view!...

    Today i saw some hard-core ***** and i came close to vomiting!
    • veriix, on 10/03/2008, -0/+6Suck it up sally...



      ...thats a good one.
  • audomatix, on 10/03/2008, -0/+24I'm a professional ***** taker.
    • veriix, on 10/03/2008, -1/+25I have a pickup for you
      • audomatix, on 10/03/2008, -1/+14lmao no no no that's not what i meant!
      • collution, on 10/03/2008, -0/+5Those darn "Gotcha" Interpretations again!
  • davidkeithjones, on 10/03/2008, -4/+18Brain surgeon. All they do is open your head and poke around, its basically painting by numbers.
    • scamper22, on 10/03/2008, -5/+1and a million dollar salary...
    • arobar, on 10/03/2008, -0/+8Well you obviously know what you're talking about, no questions asked.
    • RaulMuadDib, on 10/03/2008, -3/+2Sylar?
  • pjsmike, on 10/03/2008, -4/+1Were there any jobs that was underrated in movies or TV?
  • fletcher008, on 10/03/2008, -5/+2I dont care what the article says, I still want to be a samurai. Minus the seppuku.
  • zewm, on 10/03/2008, -5/+19FTA - "Jessica Biel walking in and asking for a boob massage."

    mmmm
  • rupric, on 10/03/2008, -5/+3I love the Halloween costume companies and their tricks to get these ideas in our heads in early October.
  • LanaGK, on 10/03/2008, -3/+2I believe it was Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes who wanted to be a professional caveman. That would not be overrated...

    I think being a sportscaster on PTI would is overrated: http://www.digitalfuntown.com/videos/90
  • FlareHeart, on 10/03/2008, -6/+7Buried for an inaccurate description of Seppuku.

    It was not that you sliced yourself open from side to side...what happened was you stabbed yourself and then a higher ranking officer or honored samurai of some sort sliced your head off. There were mere moments between the stabbing of yourself and the removal of your head which made the death quick and relatively painless.
    • Hetman, on 10/03/2008, -3/+2I agree that the act of seppuku did happen sometimes the way that you described it. However if you are losing a battle, what else are you supposed to do? Call a time out get the highest ranking official over and ask them to chop off your head?
    • OrangeTide, on 10/03/2008, -3/+4Both wrong. You do slice yourself open side to side (always left-to-right). And you do have a second to chop you in the neck to finish you.
    • Volath, on 10/03/2008, -0/+4No, its stabbing yourself in the stomach and THEN cutting your stomach side to side. And the thing where another samurai does the honor of decapitating you as a quicker death wasn't very common. The main reason seppuku is considered honorable is because it involves killing yourself in an extremely painful way.
    • drgmdp, on 10/04/2008, -0/+4***** up japanese dudes...
  • mrdeathgod, on 10/03/2008, -1/+8"nothing says excitement quite like forcing a dim-eyed beast into a corner to have someone saw off its balls"

    Priceless!
  • asnider, on 10/03/2008, -2/+2Alas, being a pirate is far less awesome than I had hoped. I guess I'll stick to being an office drone.
  • slimkevi, on 10/03/2008, -8/+3Vice President: Palin makes it look like a ***** joke.
  • THESUPERDEVIL, on 10/03/2008, -2/+3shoe sell man

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-qRJM5750A
  • jeremyduffy, on 10/03/2008, -0/+35Two more that I think would be much higher on a digger's list:

    Video game tester - You spend all day playing games, but don't get to chose your game, stop when you're tired, and give up when you find that the game is a disgusting pile of disease and filth.

    Porn star - For the exact same reason
    • passedoutghost, on 10/04/2008, -1/+2Yeah, but with a Porn Star, most of the chicks are actually presentable (sort of...)
      • CapnFark, on 10/04/2008, -1/+7But there's no risk of herpes as a game tester.
      • ronaldinho, on 10/06/2008, -0/+1And what if you have to ***** old dudes and *shivers* grannies as a porn star? My boner shrank just by seeing Hillary, so anything worse than Hillary is.....you get the idea.
  • maxlightz, on 10/03/2008, -4/+2surprised Steve Jobs isn't on this list
  • andyduss, on 10/03/2008, -3/+1Dugg for samurais getting stabbed.
  • joot2112, on 10/03/2008, -0/+2How do you know it's worse than the job I have now?!

    -disgruntled postal worker
  • edud, on 10/03/2008, -5/+31. Bill Maher
    2. Hollywood Actors and Actresses
    3. News Anchormen and Anchorettes for National Shows
    4. Bloggers
    5. Community Activists
  • trollick, on 10/03/2008, -0/+18#6 Rocket Surgeon
  • trollick, on 10/03/2008, -4/+4#7 Crack Whore
  • blizihizake, on 10/03/2008, -0/+4Dugg simply for the samurai brochure.
  • eneshelon, on 10/03/2008, -5/+3they forgot to mention another reason why samurais would FAIL to make a great career choice: most of them were in love with their little boy apprentices

    http://www.gay-art-history.org/gay-history/gay-cus ...
  • Scira, on 10/03/2008, -0/+2For knights, i would have thought armor would be something farmers couldn't afford.
  • suzannethetiger, on 10/03/2008, -0/+14CIA agent. Talked to a couple of people who said that early on, you get sent out to some podunk town in the middle of nowhere, make 30k or less, and you can't tell anyone what you do.
  • vsujohn2, on 10/03/2008, -1/+3I'm pretty sure this was on digg a little while ago
    Even the link implies it, with the whole 2 thing going on
  • 18sheep, on 10/03/2008, -1/+15 perfect jobs, spoiled forever in 5 easy steps :(

    ;)
  • DekarCorvus, on 10/03/2008, -0/+5This is anti-Pirate propaganda!


    I'm a professional pirate...and i assure you its a wonderfull life!


    either way...this is getting dugged for this line..and this line alone:
    "These people managed to survive and kick ass even with Tom Cruise in their midst. It'd be like running a marathon while dragging a dead cow behind you."
  • GiulianoB, on 10/03/2008, -0/+9OBGYN
    • floorman56, on 10/03/2008, -1/+2Have you ever had to stick your hand into a overweight 60 year old woman to remove her yeast infection?
  • dar5139, on 10/03/2008, -2/+4Ninjas > Pirates
  • KingGorilla, on 10/03/2008, -1/+2That pirate was cute
  • camilos007, on 10/03/2008, -0/+11"the 'doctor' screamed, "None of my magic spells are helping! " "

    Brilliant.
  • zippperip, on 10/03/2008, -1/+2Auto Body shop manager is the most stressful & money really sucks
  • passedoutghost, on 10/04/2008, -0/+4Lawyer: long hours, little sleep, ***** clients.
    • ZBeeblebrox, on 10/04/2008, -0/+3Alright, good points..

      .. but you're leaving out the insane amount of money you'll be making, all the coke your body can handle, the wild orgies you'll be having and drinking enough booze that can kill an elephant.
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