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See the original image at cracked.com —

The 6 Most Disastrous Uses of Work Email Ever

cracked.com — They say you should never write anything in an email that you don't want to see on the front page of the New York Times. And while you may shrug and ask why in the world the Times would print your email about how drunk you got last night, well, you'd be surprised.

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  • Sublex, on 10/14/2008, -4/+36"I have 5 guys at the moment. haha."

    Fail.
    • Sublex, on 10/14/2008, -1/+26Or win. I'm not really sure.
    • simplyphp, on 10/14/2008, -0/+3Maybe if all 5 looked like the clown...
    • gn0stik, on 10/14/2008, -0/+12Plenty of old horse fat for one chickie. Let's hope she used domes, and thought their semen was yum. One thing's for sure, if she gets it on her dress it'll cost at least $4 to get it out.
    • fate3, on 10/14/2008, -1/+35 guys is some delicious burgers
    • passedoutghost, on 10/15/2008, -0/+1I love how half this ***** happens in law firms. I can't wait :D You'd think that lawyers would be more professional, but quite a few aren't.

  • ani625, on 10/14/2008, -3/+15Do i have to see George costanza on cracked pages?
  • WiretapStudios, on 10/14/2008, -19/+18These weren't very funny.
  • Fhwqhgads, on 10/14/2008, -4/+11Those grumpy old bosses just pissed that they weren't getting any.
  • DBSABZB, on 10/14/2008, -4/+14I wonder if Lucy Gao hired Taco to sing at her party
  • Jabrams2, on 10/14/2008, -3/+55The old horse fat huh? thats a new one
    • valis, on 10/14/2008, -0/+6Ok. This is going to sound like quite a stretch because - well - it is. But does anyone remember Horselover Fat? (Philip K Dick's alter-ego in his novel "VALIS") Well, word is that it is a play on his own name. Philip being 'Horselover' and Dick being 'Fat'. Stretch that out in standard UK wordplay and it comes out "Dick Lover." How's that for a stretch?

      Now I must be punished. I know.
  • lexf, on 10/14/2008, -26/+4Dear Maude,

    Check out this Cracked story I found on digg. It's really frigign' funny.

    Then later, I'd love to donkey punch you in the vagina. Sound cool?

    -Lex

    PS: Please don't forward this.
    • FlyCO, on 10/14/2008, -1/+44Dear Lex,

      The term "Donkey punch" relates to the act of punching the back of your partner's head or neck during anal intercourse, making the use of the phrase "donkey punch you in the vagina" incorrect.

      - Donkey Punch Nazi
      • lexf, on 10/14/2008, -1/+14How the hell did you intercept my letter to Maude?
    • fandyboy, on 10/14/2008, -5/+2M-M-M-M-M-Monster FAIL
  • AmyVernon, on 10/14/2008, -3/+72My favorite line:
    "Bradley and Claire quickly became internet famous, as web surfers everywhere were enthralled with the idea that somewhere in the world two people were having sex."
  • dezweber, on 10/14/2008, -2/+6Dugg for #5 which reminded me of the movie Secretary...
  • ivencente, on 10/14/2008, -1/+12dirty laundry sells.
  • cyberquog, on 10/14/2008, -3/+23At the last company I interned at one of the orientation topics was appropriate emails.
    Turns out about a year before there was an intern who was trying to sell his bird, so he decided to email the entire company (executives included) pictures of the bird and an offer to buy it.
    Unfortunately, he accidentally attached pictures of himself holding a 3 foot home made bong instead of his bird. He also had used the companies machine shop to make parts of the bong which people realized after seeing the pictures.

    No matter what I did at that internship I couldn't possibly screw up as bad as that kid.
    • butch456, on 10/14/2008, -10/+1i'm sure you wish this happened, but part of me doesn't believe you
  • MrWally, on 10/14/2008, -3/+9This really reminded me of Michael Scott from The Office when he forwarded the picture of him and Jan from vacation.

    I guess the writers knew what they were talking about.
  • Dagreenman, on 10/14/2008, -6/+3#8

    Emailing a pixture of you and your boss to the entire company.
  • 5fifteen, on 10/14/2008, -1/+6Dugg for 'unrelated photo' in #3
    • simplyphp, on 10/14/2008, -0/+4Dugg you for digging for an unrelated photo.
      • cesar33, on 10/14/2008, -0/+3Dugg you for digging someone who dugg an unrelated photo.
  • fant0m, on 10/14/2008, -0/+32This ***** just got extremely real.
  • kolyana, on 10/14/2008, -0/+13Dugg for "Dramatic reenactment of Old Horse Fat."
  • JFitzpatrick, on 10/14/2008, -0/+8I'd say something like "There is no way people are that dumb" but the five examples in the list prove me wrong.

    But seriously. Who is stupid enough to use their work email for that kind of nonsense?
  • MalarkeyPN, on 10/14/2008, -0/+67Anyone else notice how EVERY LAST ONE of these involved law firms and banks?

    What did we learn?
  • biz20, on 10/14/2008, -2/+4oh lawd. these stories are priceless.
  • Osmose1000, on 10/14/2008, -0/+23Dugg for Ritz Crackers.
  • speedk0re, on 10/14/2008, -1/+3that picture is ***** scary. God i hate clowns
  • IphtashuFitz, on 10/14/2008, -0/+2Why is it that most of these happened in London? And none of them happened in the US. I'm surprised, and saddened that we're so lame when it comes to these sorts of antics...
  • CCunitz, on 10/14/2008, -1/+2But what about New Horse Fat?

    What would that imply in the Queen's Country?
  • HippyInASuit, on 10/14/2008, -0/+3Hey, Marie. Lets chew the old horse fat for a minute...
  • Premier, on 10/14/2008, -0/+3wtf happened to the horse?
  • KyleGoetz, on 10/14/2008, -0/+17WARNING: NSFW. Strippers in thongs doesn't go over well in the office (or classroom).
    • IphtashuFitz, on 10/14/2008, -0/+13Depends on where you work.
    • WELLDOITLIVE, on 10/14/2008, -0/+2Works fine in my University's computer lab,
    • ohcoaster, on 10/14/2008, -0/+5strippers in thongs go over desks quite well actually.
  • fandyboy, on 10/14/2008, -2/+10$4 to clean a suit in London eh, last time I checked we still had our own currency? I smell *****!
    • Supernova36, on 10/14/2008, -0/+15I was thinking that, but if you look at the source article it says £4. Seems someone doesn't know how the world works.
  • gordigor, on 10/14/2008, -0/+7probably NSFW. The stripper's asses my not be appreciated.
  • sonicEd, on 10/14/2008, -0/+1Well done, Mr. Tran. Keep up the good work.
  • Albear89, on 10/14/2008, -0/+6Dugg for the pic of fat horse.
  • s9er80, on 10/14/2008, -1/+0can i get a copy and paste of the article, cracked is blocked at work....
  • P522, on 10/14/2008, -3/+1Burying cracked articles never gets old!
  • jeremyduffy, on 10/14/2008, -0/+1This is an excellent set of stories that show the danger of thinking that e-mails are and will always be private.
  • bjs3171, on 10/14/2008, -2/+2uh...who the ***** says that? I'm pretty sure i've never written one email I'd like to see on the front page of the New York Times.

    Let's see...
    Discussions with tanneries about leather orders? No.
    Don't forget to pick up the dog's heart worm medication? No.
    Meeting next week? No, don't think that would be very interesting for anyone else anywhere. ever.
    Friend's and Family footlocker coupon? Ok, maybe.
    A request to redesign my outsole? No.
    My new outsole design? Definitely.

    So basically, I should only be sending one out of every 6 emails? My boss is not going to be happy about this.
  • Nekura20x6, on 10/14/2008, -1/+1LOL - I work at one of those companies and remember the incident vividly...
  • decker12, on 10/14/2008, -0/+6Related article (including a picture!) about good old Lucy Gao:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-402244/Emb ...

    Lucy in some video: (skip forward to about 2:26)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ke2U-JVjKw
  • EarthDivide, on 10/14/2008, -1/+1Dugg for the HP 9010 picture at the top of the article.
    I can only guess how well it actually runs.

    Also the Peter Chung story was awesome.
  • kingm1k3, on 10/14/2008, -0/+3This one guy at my work sent an email out to "All Staff" (CEO included) asking who stole his tacos and saying how he'd never steal from anyone so why should people steal from him. The funny thing is we were lying to him in the first place and his tacos never even existed.

    He didn't last much longer.
    • petefic, on 10/14/2008, -1/+2LOL THATS SO FUNNY /sarcasam
      Seriously your a douche
    • passedoutghost, on 10/15/2008, -0/+1While that's true, the guy shouldn't have sent out a personal email using the company's system. It's only tacos. If someone stole my lunch I wouldn't give a *****. If it started happening on a regular basis, then it means you should stop leaving your lunch in places where people can get at it.
  • ErickStevenson, on 10/14/2008, -0/+1"Old horse fat"... lol that was new to me...
  • tofuMYtofu, on 10/14/2008, -0/+1That was good. Like a cigarette after sex with a dome good.
    • chinolofus, on 10/14/2008, -0/+1sex without a dome is much better.
  • RunningWolf, on 10/14/2008, -0/+1This is quite a good article, reminding you what not today on your work e-mail :)
  • SanTe, on 10/14/2008, -0/+1Dugg for "Unrelated photo." Also, for pointing out that lawyers and investment bankers and the people who work for them have cornered the market on something other than credit default swaps and general greed.
  • tehgoatman, on 10/14/2008, -0/+1funny story about that working here, about a year ago an e-mail went out (i saved it) that said FirstName LastName if she calls in get her over to me but scrolling down you find a past conversation (he prolly used the wrong window to send the email to whole dept)

    dude this is *****. just call it off sierras mom is a bitch. she to busy to ***** do it so she is just going to have to go with out im not looking for her again.

    with the reply of

    that's cool, Yeah, tell her if she doesn't do it tonight not to try to go through me again... Iwill tell her no if she bales on me today, I dont care if she has the money up front...

    The 2 involved denied it was about drugs, got the choice of UA or fired, and actually both passed UAs
  • Inaktivist, on 10/14/2008, -0/+4If there's something wrong with inviting a good buddy over for a double-stuff is wrong, I don't want to be right.
  • nowusa, on 10/15/2008, -0/+2That was good. Like a cigarette after sex with a dome good. Keep up the good work.
  • xhikari, on 10/15/2008, -0/+1funny *****!
  • KellyIrish19, on 10/15/2008, -0/+0oh no... these are terrible. But who does that at worK?
  •  

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