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The Terrifying (Inevitable) Future of Advertising

cracked.com — No man can know what the future will look like, but we're willing to go out on a limb and say that 1) there will still be advertising and 2) it will be even more annoying than it is now. Here are 30 visions of what might be in store.

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  • Fhwqhgads, on 09/04/2008, -8/+80Number 25 FTW!
    • lawrenceboland, on 09/04/2008, -10/+19dude... #16 ftw, what are you talking about?
      • JoeF8577, on 09/04/2008, -0/+10how the ***** can 8 people digg down boobies?!?!
      • gbarberi, on 09/04/2008, -0/+78 is the total number of females on Digg.
      • groo68, on 09/05/2008, -2/+1Well they are fake.
      • shenaniJen, on 09/05/2008, -4/+0Actually, there are 9 of us. :)
    • gbarberi, on 09/04/2008, -0/+37Number 25 was inaccurate. That's the present, not the future.
    • gothgeek, on 09/04/2008, -0/+33"They Live" What an awesome movie!
      • Andrwmorph, on 09/04/2008, -0/+2And it starred Roddy Piper!
        http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0684929/
      • s3d1t0r, on 09/04/2008, -0/+2THEY LIVE! Watch it, that movie is so true it's scary in a way ordinary horror movies cannot match. Unless of course you've already consumed to much Fluoride then you might not get it.
      • graeh, on 09/05/2008, -0/+1With one of the greatest two person fight scenes ever recorded.
    • lacrimosa2008, on 09/04/2008, -3/+1And #8 could be Memento.
    • gobbstopp, on 09/04/2008, -11/+2since yours is the first comment, i paused on #25 for a few minutes because - well, i dunno. the power of 'first comment'

      "ok, a bunch of ads - in times square... like...normal. does the black and white through the glasses MEAN something? huh. instead of ads for products, they tell you to do stuff, which is actually, not even the purpose of the contest. aaannd.......???"

      by FAR, the least creative one on here
      • StrangeFamous, on 09/04/2008, -0/+9It's a reference to John Carpenter's "They Live".
      • grumpychris, on 09/04/2008, -0/+8Through the glasses, you're seeing what's behind the ads, the hidden message.
      • ezcheezbandit, on 09/05/2008, -1/+2You sir (gobbstopp) just suffered what we like to call an epic fail. You missed the reference to a fantastic movie completely.
    • Fhwqhgads, on 09/04/2008, -7/+4dumb people just don't get number 25 which is why it is so full of win.
    • kocurejd, on 09/05/2008, -0/+1Lol, #13
    • IUAndar, on 09/05/2008, -0/+3I'm all out of bubblegum...
  • KevinFederline, on 09/04/2008, -25/+7Digg the first submission:
    http://digg.com/comedy/The_Terrifying_Inevitable_F ...
    • Algaroth, on 09/04/2008, -3/+7Why? This one has more diggs.
    • edwartica, on 09/04/2008, -1/+11I dugg this one because the digg button on crack brought me here,.
    • benologist, on 09/04/2008, -0/+3Just go shoutspam / digg exchange another story to the front page....
    • Synn, on 09/04/2008, -0/+11Really? You're going to cry over a 1 minute difference?
      • Whaines, on 09/05/2008, -0/+1It's his...
      • Synn, on 09/05/2008, -0/+1Yeah, I know...still I am surprised he'd try to push his submission even though his is barely first.
    • SamPollock, on 09/05/2008, -0/+2Who the hell would digg someone named kevin federline?
  • ravetildon, on 09/04/2008, -1/+12Nice, seems giving away products free is becoming the norm. We just have to watch advertising first. Works for me.
  • nsanidy, on 09/04/2008, -13/+40I almost ALWAYS disagree with the placement of cracked.com's photoshop contest entries. Some of these were just idiotic, yet made it into the top ten. Ronald McDonald saying "Let's put a smile on that face!" beside a Fox News advert stating "This never happened" is gold, yet it was dead last.

    Oh well.
    • mauso, on 09/05/2008, -0/+3It wasn't really last, as there are hundreds of entries which don't make the final cut. (These are submitted via the Cracked.com forums).

      Amongst the runners up, I don't think Cracked tries too hard with the ordering. It's the same with any other Cracked list: it may be presented as a countdown, but the items are actually arranged to suit the flow of the article.

      And remember, #29 is the first entry that newcomers see, so it actually needs to be quite good so that people stick around (and click onto page 2). The ordering isn't logical but I understand why Cracked does it that way. I agree that #29 is one of the funniest in the entire list.
  • edwartica, on 09/04/2008, -6/+104This did not happen! Fox news!
  • xmjwx, on 09/04/2008, -17/+5***** FOX NEWS! ***** FOX NEWS!
  • InJectaH, on 09/04/2008, -7/+0#4 had me dying lol
  • Krissam, on 09/04/2008, -5/+22Gotta love #1
  • TheToecutter, on 09/04/2008, -17/+4Buried for picture or blatant ripoff from They Live movie.
    • oldhick, on 09/04/2008, -0/+10I saw it as more of an homage or tribute to They Live.
    • sindex, on 09/04/2008, -0/+1Pretty sure the point was that you'd pick up on the reference. Duh.
  • wafflepiano, on 09/04/2008, -10/+74Because looking elsewhere would be even more gay.
    • miggie, on 09/04/2008, -16/+5I'm a woman so why would you look at the guy next to you peeing? That is so rude!
      • edwartica, on 09/04/2008, -0/+44Well, if you're a woman, why are you peeing in the urinal to begin with?
      • Disease, on 09/04/2008, -1/+9You women don't know what it's like peeing in a urinal with your private stalls. Eyes wonder and light rays bounce.
      • CrunchyDeluxe, on 09/04/2008, -9/+1And disease spreads.
      • DangQuesadilla, on 09/04/2008, -1/+17You would look at the guy next to you to avert your eyes from the gay abercrombie ads......but oops in averting your eyes you're being even gayer than if you look at the ads. So you have to look at them. That's the humor. In real life guys never look.
    • tehWhisp, on 09/05/2008, -0/+4No longer can I use the excuse of "I just couldn't go."
  • DeuceDiggalow, on 09/04/2008, -18/+4um that suxed
  • NeoCon4Life, on 09/04/2008, -9/+35"because looking anywhere else would be even more gay" i lol'd
  • Foenetik, on 09/04/2008, -16/+2I ***** LOATHE cracked.
    • KingGorilla, on 09/04/2008, -1/+2that doesn't sound very loathey
    • CrunchyDeluxe, on 09/04/2008, -1/+2Perhaps Foenetik doesn't actually know the meaning of the word "loathe"...
  • quiggibub, on 09/04/2008, -0/+48I happened to like the last place (# 29) finisher the best just for the Fox News comment.
  • Takfam, on 09/04/2008, -0/+35I'm Secretary of State, brought to you by Carl's Jr.
    • y3rt, on 09/04/2008, -0/+26Do you like money? I like money? We should hang out sometime.
    • captmorgan555, on 09/04/2008, -0/+9brought to you by Carl's Jr.
      brought to you by Carl's Jr.!!!
      brought to you by Carl's Jr.!!!!!!
    • swanny89, on 09/04/2008, -0/+12EXTRA BIGASS FRIES!
      Would you like to try our EXTRA BIGASS TACO!?
    • ezcheezbandit, on 09/05/2008, -0/+2... it's got electrolytes.
    • CaptObvious, on 09/05/2008, -0/+1***** you, I'm eating!
  • fattehboi, on 09/04/2008, -1/+152Man those were great...just imagine if Photoshop had never been invented.

    *Brought to you by Adobe*
    • utahnkid, on 09/05/2008, -4/+3Who the hell dugg this down?

      You want to come to Jersey and do that in front of my face?
  • Lostthenfound, on 09/04/2008, -2/+3With the downfall of network tv advertisements Im surprised that ads haven't been popping up at more and more atypical locations. I went to a movie a couple weeks ago and instead of previews and the typical pre-movie noise, I instead came face to face with dreaded TV commercials (my DVR remote was no where to be found :( ).
    • edwartica, on 09/04/2008, -0/+7You haven't been to the movies in a while if this is the first time you've seen this.
    • Lostthenfound, on 09/04/2008, -0/+0Yeah I take pride in not giving into the nonsense that Hollywood spews out and rarely go to the movies.
      • seanduggit, on 09/04/2008, -1/+1thats why i pirate movies. down with consumerism!
  • UnMannedMission, on 09/04/2008, -0/+9I could see #7 happening next week.
  • zerohelix, on 09/04/2008, -4/+15***** Abercrombie & Fitch
  • pros599, on 09/04/2008, -3/+24Sad, but true...

    This post brought to you by T-Mobile...
  • McGuinness, on 09/04/2008, -12/+60Uh, one of them is a little NSFW. Lets not put massive ***** barely covered up on digg during work hours, eh? Or at least warn us.
    • freezerburn666, on 09/04/2008, -6/+74not our fault you almost got fired because of your boner
    • NJank, on 09/04/2008, -0/+13is it just me or was there something strangely disturbing about the appearance of that picture. (not including the text)
      • Disease, on 09/04/2008, -0/+12It's called defying nature.
      • tykwondingo, on 09/04/2008, -0/+11If by "disturbed" you mean wanting to have sex with the girl in the picture, than yes I was very "disturbed".
      • austin006, on 09/05/2008, -0/+2the disturbingly fake titties, perhaps?
    • ohbrilliance, on 09/04/2008, -4/+3So it's fine in general to surf digg at work?
      • edwartica, on 09/04/2008, -0/+6Hey, my boss encourages me to surf digg!
      • ohbrilliance, on 09/04/2008, -0/+0Why?
      • Takfam, on 09/04/2008, -0/+6Yes it is. There's a big difference between a picture of huge pair of ***** and the mix of current events, rabid Ron Paul support and constant whining about the inequities of the world that makes up Digg.
      • tykwondingo, on 09/04/2008, -0/+1Yes.
      • purzzzell, on 09/04/2008, -0/+4well, we're not discussing what's appropriate to do, we're discussing what's managable to get away with.
      • AnOMNOMymous, on 09/04/2008, -1/+1Working on a computer all day must ***** suck. My heart goes out to you, cubicle rats.
    • tykwondingo, on 09/04/2008, -0/+116 was the best.
    • xmizzbojanglesx, on 09/04/2008, -0/+1Yeah.. work and CLASS hours.. oops.
    • bieber, on 09/04/2008, -0/+10It's Cracked.com, man. You've just gotta assume a high probability of boobs before you click the link...
    • austin006, on 09/05/2008, -0/+3Let's not browse non-work-related websites during work hours, eh?

      -your boss
    • firebhaal, on 09/05/2008, -0/+1L2SCROLL?
  • tidu, on 09/04/2008, -9/+4so this is somethingawful except with less clever submitters?
  • loulan, on 09/04/2008, -7/+1Seriously, these aren't even photoshops. It's paints.
    • xptoast, on 09/04/2008, -0/+1Your ninja skills could improve but eh...
  • erictheturtle, on 09/04/2008, -0/+4Given the relentless history of advertising, we can pretty much expect advertising to become one of, or a mixture of the following:
    - advertisements on every single visible surface, everywhere--and then some projected into mid air (i.e. holograms, like in Back to the Future 2)
    - advertisements perfectly well crafted and specifically targeted to you, because they know everything about you
    • edwartica, on 09/04/2008, -0/+2I've actually seen ads on the lines separating parking spaces in a parking garage.
    • GovernmentsGun, on 09/04/2008, -0/+1I would think more like "Minority Report" where they used lasers to beam advertisements directly into your eye. They already have directional audio.
  • fish0507, on 09/04/2008, -0/+3Nobody cares anymore that the corporations have taken over every space that people own. To define fascism briefly; is when corporations and big business become our government. The reality is, the same people behind McDonald's are the same people behind the police force - turning them into a complete tool for the police state. globalization ..
    • CrunchyDeluxe, on 09/04/2008, -3/+2That's not fascism at all...

      ... but nice try.
      • fish0507, on 09/04/2008, -1/+1well the actual definition defines it when the government seizes control of businesses, but right now in the United States it is working the opposite and the businesses are controlling the state
      • CrunchyDeluxe, on 09/04/2008, -0/+1Of couse it's a problem when either one controls the other. I'm just not entirely convinced that the businesse are controlling the state, as you say.

        Eh, but maybe that's just me.
      • GovernmentsGun, on 09/04/2008, -0/+1@fish0507

        I wouldn't classify it as the businesses controlling the government. It's more like they're two humping dogs tied together. Government can't maintain power like it does without the force of business. Business can't get as powerful without government.

        Government relies on business.
        Business relies on government.
      • jasonbalmforth, on 09/05/2008, -0/+1"Fascism should more properly be called corporatism because it is the merger of state and corporate power" - Quote allegedly attributed to Benito Mussolini.
  • Shurayuki, on 09/04/2008, -0/+0#17 is brilliant. xD
  • jgauder, on 09/04/2008, -1/+8#25 - They Live - "I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass... and I am all out of bubble gum!"
    • jasonbalmforth, on 09/05/2008, -0/+0"Put on these glasses or start eating that trashcan"
  • slsashrk, on 09/04/2008, -1/+34After flipping through the article, I was inspired to write some obligatory Idiocracy reference... but I haven't had enough coffee to inspire me to find the perfect quote. I think I'll have another cup of coffee...

    Speaking of coffee, I recently purchased some Folgers Gourmet Coffee. This coffee does not disappoint. I primarily drink flavored coffees, either vanilla or hazelnut, and this coffee is one of the best ones I've tried. It has a great aroma while brewing, in the cup, and then it follows through in the taste. Through February Amazon is offering a coupon on this item, which then gets the price down to around $5.25 a pound; this is a great deal and a terrific way to get your morning started.
    • CrunchyDeluxe, on 09/04/2008, -7/+3I prefer Terroir's Sumatra Mandheling, South Italian Espresso Roast. THAT is a god cup of coffee...
      • nlight, on 09/04/2008, -1/+6*WHOOOOSH*
      • y3rt, on 09/05/2008, -0/+1I don't need you to tell me how ***** good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys *****. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead ***** in my garage.
      • CrunchyDeluxe, on 09/05/2008, -0/+2Pulp Fiction?
      • y3rt, on 09/05/2008, -0/+1Check out the big brain on Brad (CrunchyDeluxe)
      • CrunchyDeluxe, on 09/05/2008, -0/+2AHA! So I WAS right! ^_^

        BTW... ain't it Brett??
      • y3rt, on 09/10/2008, -0/+1correct my bad
  • Homerr, on 09/04/2008, -3/+8Idiocracy
  • Asianwaste, on 09/04/2008, -3/+3I've always imagined a military so strapped for cash that one day it'd seek sponsorships. Perks would be that servicemen would get awesome healthcare (from the big medicine companies), messhall meals (although 3 square McDonalds meals a day just isn't healthy), and great furnishings in your barracks room (sony TVs for all).

    The drawback, is that corporate logo patches sewn on your BDUs make you look silly, and I imagine military lingo and nomenclature will just not sound right. Something about the hearing air traffic controllers on the USS Chicken McNugget instructing pilots to land between the golden arches doesn't ring right to me.
    • allisonivy, on 09/04/2008, -3/+1Thats what the MIC is for. The only reason we go to war is so companies can make money. All that death, destruction, suffering, Its all so that s few people who already have obscene amounts of money can have even more.
  • TheLoneWolf071, on 09/04/2008, -0/+1Honestly, I believe this is where the US(Idk about the rest of the world, I mean this is America :D) is heading. It seems more and more like advertising is trying to cater to you specifically, Say if you have a card to get a discount at a local store, now you have mail coming to you catered to what you shop for. Your ISP may be monitoring all your web traffic and selling(not giving, selling and not passing the profit to you) your information to outside markets so that they can target advertisements directly to you.
    • unpolloloco, on 09/05/2008, -0/+1Isn't that the goal of advertising in general? Is that a bad thing? If you are a vegetarian, would you rather see ads for steak or vegetables?
    • Iztikeit, on 09/09/2008, -0/+1Uhhh, everyone is trying to market to everyone.
  • Mangotastic, on 09/04/2008, -2/+2man i hate advertising. im really angry now, i think a need the smooth all american taste of an ice cold coca-cola to cool me off.....
  • sindex, on 09/04/2008, -0/+3#13 might actually work on me. Except that I can't read.
  • slapded, on 09/04/2008, -0/+5when e-ink comes around its going to be a crazy time.
  • kmckanna, on 09/04/2008, -3/+2"Take a BRAKE?"

    Uhmmm, is this referring that advertisers will eventually forget how to spell basic words?

    (Refer to image number one)
  • Awspire, on 09/04/2008, -0/+6The riot shields should have advertisements for Bail Bonds, Criminal/Civil Rights Lawyers, and Plastic Surgeons. Though, they may not want the Civil Rights lawyers to advertise.
  • forevernomad, on 09/04/2008, -0/+3I can see some poor sod getting tattooed at birth with a Vagicream logo across their forehead.
  • aydoubleyou, on 09/04/2008, -0/+3What a great movie that was...
  • insomniac8400, on 09/04/2008, -1/+128,27,26 are already done today. 22 would be appealing if it meant the bill was free. And based on that list, is 29 supposed to be the winner? The only one below 29 that was good was 7.
  • GiJoeBob, on 09/04/2008, -0/+4reminds me of "Idiocracy"
  • matthewjosephm, on 09/04/2008, -0/+18How about:

    CAPTCHA
    Please type the following text to do anything: "I really love rolaids."
    • kefkaantakrist, on 09/05/2008, -0/+1Okay, I know (or think) you were joking, but that's not even really a bad idea.
  • Boarhead, on 09/04/2008, -0/+11I like 16 for some reason but I cant put my finger on them..I mean it...
  • ThenWang, on 09/04/2008, -0/+1well if we will have sighting-control sunglasses,we will have adblocking Contact lenseses too,which are open sourced
  • alexkball, on 09/04/2008, -4/+1stupid.
  • EmberToInferno, on 09/04/2008, -0/+5Hmm, free breast implants? Being a guy I wasn't really thinking about getting any, but if they're free how can I lose?
  • apr35, on 09/04/2008, -2/+32 questions:

    1) Are those boobies real?
    2) Someone please explain the Kate/Lost one...
    • LogitechG15, on 09/04/2008, -0/+3About as real as Michael Jacksons face.
    • allisonivy, on 09/04/2008, -0/+2I was totally disgusted by those breasts. They looked so... hard.
      • Enigmocracy, on 09/05/2008, -0/+2They looked like massive warts on her chest.

        bleh
      • darkphenox, on 09/05/2008, -0/+1to me the entire body looked like a manecan its the skin colour that is off
    • redsoxmb545, on 09/05/2008, -0/+1What's the Kate/Lost one?
  • spiderworm, on 09/04/2008, -3/+2My favorite is #3. By far.

    "So easy a human can do it."

    Lol
  • iPanda, on 09/04/2008, -1/+5wow didn't even laugh once...
    • Vodd9, on 09/04/2008, -1/+2I thought the "let's put a smile on that face" was pretty funny.
  • DangQuesadilla, on 09/04/2008, -1/+0#23 FTW ...... almost like mr. burns' evil plot.
  • koolmoecraig, on 09/04/2008, -0/+7Realistically, how soon til football and baseball players uniforms look like Nascar drivers? Has to be coming soon.
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