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Make no mistake, Wesley Crusher may have sucked... [COMIC]

abstrusegoose.com — ... but Wil Wheaton rules!

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  • Hortos, on 06/07/2008, -7/+31See you at Pax 08 Wil
  • mopper, on 06/07/2008, -9/+224when did Wesley suck? He got to bang a shapeshifting princess beast, saved the crew from a brainwashing mind game and got to hang out with that weird traveler... I think I watched too much tng
    • tomiwk, on 06/07/2008, -1/+46yeah, and let's not forget he had something going on with Ashley Judd in one episode!!
      • careyt, on 06/07/2008, -0/+15Ashley is rather hot now, but DAMN she was really gorgeous back then
      • jeremyosborne81, on 06/07/2008, -0/+13That would be the episode where he "saved the crew from a brainwashing mind game." If it wasn't for the emergency/addictive nature of the crew, he would have got some nookie from her.

        Damn! Foiled by the immaturity of your superiors once again!
    • wilwheaton, on 06/07/2008, -2/+87The truth is, Wesley Crusher sucked until Ron Moore got ahold of him and made him a living, breathing character instead of a one-dimensional deus ex-machina.
      • Sokkratez, on 06/07/2008, -0/+16Ron Moore, a boon to Sci-Fi.
      • warplayer, on 06/07/2008, -2/+4Hi Wil :)
      • olliholliday, on 06/07/2008, -2/+3wilwheaton's my only friend on digg :(
        how i yearn for his little green emblems decorating my tech news.
      • Goblin, on 06/07/2008, -0/+1No clevernickname?

        Let's check just how geeky the Digg crowd is :)
      • MrPeach, on 06/07/2008, -3/+0Was he a douche ex-machina?
    • smacksaw, on 06/07/2008, -5/+3Wes, Wil...both have 3 letters and start with a "w", so...
      • boyghost, on 06/07/2008, -1/+19Your powers of deductive reasoning are infallible! You must have watched Sesame Street this morning.
    • zarvensha, on 06/07/2008, -1/+12He pashed Ashley Judd.

      How can that be bad???
    • Rizmaster, on 06/07/2008, -4/+3You seem to be describing events after the first 2 seasons. Which is exactly the answer you're looking for. Maybe you should have examined your data before asking a question relating to an obvious conclusion?

      God damn did those early episodes suck.
    • cjh24, on 06/07/2008, -3/+2I always get him mixed up with the dude from Seaquest.
    • carrtoonist, on 06/07/2008, -0/+7He also accidentally created a life form that nearly destroyed the enterprise, got his mom sucked into some sort of shrinking alternative universe and participated in a illegal stunt maneuver that got one of his co-students killed.

      Though truthfully, it was before all that when he was a "can do no wrong" golden boy that he was most annoying.
    • StratoStreak, on 06/07/2008, -0/+11His mom was a MILF.
  • myodometer, on 06/07/2008, -12/+21Wil Wheaton - you're my hero.
    • WNW3, on 06/07/2008, -0/+3Buried Ferris Bueller reference? Blasphemy!
  • djAnakin, on 06/07/2008, -20/+22Wesley Crusher wasn't that bad. I've always been quite fond of the character, even to this day.
  • metapop, on 06/07/2008, -5/+59michael dorn would destroy wil wheaton if he looked at him the wrong way.
    • DivisibleByZero, on 06/07/2008, -5/+2I've always been a Kate Mulgrew fan myself....
  • Ravenhawk, on 06/07/2008, -5/+20And Wil Wheaton moves one more step up the super hero ladder.
  • mikesbaker, on 06/07/2008, -24/+132make no mistake that comic sucked and isn't XKCD by a long shot
    • ICSU, on 06/07/2008, -1/+13I was looking at Hawking the whole time because he didn't say anything and hoped he will save the joke. WTF
      Where is the funny or at least meaningful part?
      • mistermaster, on 06/07/2008, -0/+5Me too. I was expecting Hawking to come up with an even more amazing solution, that he has been typing in his voice synthetizer since the beginning of the strip.
      • praisethelard, on 06/07/2008, -0/+1Haha...the best part was how Hawking didn't move or have any speech the whole time. Though, the author kinda killed it with the nod at the end.
    • karmadispenser, on 06/07/2008, -0/+12I don't know why you're comparing it to xkcd but now that you brought it up, the same cartoonist did a tribute not too long ago:

      http://abstrusegoose.com/16
    • arobicha, on 06/07/2008, -0/+0Yeah, XKCD would have come up with a good explanation at least.
    • Ridesabike, on 06/07/2008, -0/+5Oh yes, because XKCD was the stick figure first geek comic around.
  • ay1ene, on 06/07/2008, -6/+18I blame my junior high crush on Wesley Crusher for my current preference for tall geeky guys.
    • grungegbunny, on 06/07/2008, -1/+2single? j/k
    • BattleScars, on 06/07/2008, -0/+8single? Not j/k
    • gameyharp, on 06/07/2008, -0/+2*expresses amazement of a female on digg*
      • daRoach, on 06/07/2008, -1/+5That's no female.
      • ay1ene, on 06/07/2008, -0/+4I'm very female, just check out my YouTube channel if you need further proof.

        http://www.youtube.com/user/ay1ene

        I'm single, too.
        • MadOgre, on 06/07/2008, -0/+2Allow me to be the first to say it, but you are hot as *****. Ahem... Sorry... I'm a pig. Dig me down for it...
          But yeah, your smokin. I think I'm in love.
        • lordsteve, on 06/07/2008, -0/+1Holy crap! You're a young Beverly Crusher!! ... how ironic!
        • drexl, on 06/07/2008, -0/+1ay1ene! Watched that new youtube vid....lucky you...going to PAX!
    • Anonyblessed, on 06/07/2008, -0/+1What qualifies as tall?

      Also that question definitely puts me in the geek category because only a geek would ask such a logical yet stupid question.
      • Svizac, on 06/07/2008, -0/+3Geeks don't verbalize to such extent.

        You're a nerd.
    • LadyJenn, on 06/07/2008, -0/+1Wesley was cute, but Geordi is my hero.
    • OffPiste, on 06/07/2008, -0/+2A/S/L?

      Have you ever had a desire to meet a well endowed midget?
  • lordtyros, on 06/07/2008, -9/+140That comic was full of anti-humor.
    • luciferin, on 06/07/2008, -0/+2If a patch of anti-humor contacts any amount of humor the world will end in an ear shattering explosion!
      • Kronos6948, on 06/07/2008, -0/+1Dilithium crystals will keep the reaction in check. Just make sure you have strong containment fields.
      • lordsteve, on 06/07/2008, -0/+1If the world is ending in an explosion the ears are the last thing I'm worried about shattering...

        Also, if you're alive to hear the explosion you would have to be in space... where there is a vacuum... which means no sound...

        Of course we ARE talking about Wesley from Star Trek where we heard the warp engines in every episode, soooo.... ::shrug:: whatever
    • clearwaterlab, on 06/08/2008, -0/+1If only everyone that didn't like the story actually pushed the bury button... Then digg would actually work right.
  • Lane, on 06/07/2008, -12/+31Terrible
  • smacksaw, on 06/07/2008, -16/+3Speaking of sucking dick, didn't we all get enough of Wil over at FARK? I know I have. Buried.
  • hybridjosto, on 06/07/2008, -9/+4I found it funny and I like xkcd, wait... my world has not imploded!
  • kingofinternet, on 06/07/2008, -10/+136that was about as funny as a warp core breach
  • Gatorclix, on 06/07/2008, -4/+11I don't think Wesley Crusher sucked, I'd have taken that job in a heartbeat. I also have a lot of respect for Wil as he seems to have found a great way to make a living being true to himself. Now, that appearance on Star Trek Weakest Link - that was a problem.
  • digitalMessiah, on 06/07/2008, -5/+7Good comic and perfectly inline with the way the series went with the Wesley character.
  • Aviatrixt, on 06/07/2008, -10/+3And he's hot.
  • doctordbx, on 06/07/2008, -12/+87Make no mistake, that comic sucked!
  • Abomonog, on 06/07/2008, -7/+2...
  • ericjohnson0, on 06/07/2008, -13/+1Wil Wheaton...

    A Has Been who Never Was and want to be Again.

    No, I don't like Wil Wheaton or his twin brother John Mark Carr.
  • flinzo, on 06/07/2008, -9/+1http://myvix.com
  • emh924a, on 06/07/2008, -9/+1wesley, data and troi should never have been let near the enterprise every other week they were getting possed by some demon alien and nearly blowing up the ship or else they were saving it every other week a statistic impossibility that 7 people would allways have the right answers to save the ship
    • clvrmnky, on 06/07/2008, -0/+1Oops. You've found the Achilles Heel of every weekly show. Now you've gone and wrecked it for the rest of us.

      Thanks.
  • QGYH2, on 06/07/2008, -3/+19@original poster: I'm confused, how'd you not notice it had been already posted

    http://digg.com/comedy/wesley_crusher_sucked
    • defaultfilter, on 06/07/2008, -1/+4Ah, what the hell. Let's get them both on the front page. Digg this!
    • mhanley, on 06/07/2008, -0/+5Probably because the Digg Search sucks.
      • MrTulip, on 06/07/2008, -0/+1yeah, the last article i submitted had been submitted 1 hour before mine. even the base url was the same. didn't show up in the article list...***** thing sucks
    • ThinkBox, on 06/08/2008, -0/+3also because only 54 people noticed... and that is about 54 too many.. its hard to believe this got so many diggs. I like wil but this comic wasnt funny at all..
  • Owwmykneecap, on 06/07/2008, -4/+28didn't Wesley ***** Ashley Judd?

    Thumbs up for that.
  • WickEd101, on 06/07/2008, -6/+3Got to slide 4 and scrolled to bottomw. Then

    Worst comic ever?

    End
  • mamboboy, on 06/07/2008, -3/+11You'll have to be the biggest nerd ever to a) find this funny, and b) get further than half way
    • TVarmy, on 06/07/2008, -1/+5I read the whole thing. I guess I'm not much of a nerd, because I was thinking at the end, "Who's Wesley Crusher? And isn't Wil Wheton the guy who directed Firefly?"

      Oh, that was Joss Whedon. I only learn about this stuff from my nerd friends
      • warplayer, on 06/07/2008, -0/+6...and then come on digg to discuss it with nerds?
      • catfacem3n, on 06/07/2008, -0/+2@TVarmy

        that's exactly what i thought!
  • macaddct1984, on 06/07/2008, -19/+14For all those wondering, it's apparently a Star Trek reference...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wesley_Crusher played by http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wil_Wheaton
    • frelk, on 06/07/2008, -0/+16Good thing macaddct1984 is on the case people. I know those references to the Enterprise and TNG were probably pretty confusing without this central piece of information.
    • DivisibleByZero, on 06/07/2008, -0/+9A star trek reference? On the Internet?

      That's more implausible than the finglonger.
  • raydeen, on 06/07/2008, -6/+1That wasn't Wil Wheaton. That was FEDORA MAN saving the Earth with Linux!! Back off Vista! Step aside OS X! Only Linux can save us from Evil Black Holes!!!

    I"m guessing that was supposed to be an Indiana Jones hat, but all I could think of was Fedora.
    • JMSantos, on 06/07/2008, -0/+3really? I wonder why something that looked like an Indiana Jones hat reminded you of Fedora.
      • linuxpenguin, on 06/07/2008, -1/+1Probably because Indiana Jones has more of a brownish fedora, while this guy is wearing a red fedora like the guy in the Red Hat logo (which is why they call it Fedora Linux).
  • brett1337, on 06/07/2008, -3/+1god damn this article got popular at the wrong time of day >(
  • cjh24, on 06/07/2008, -2/+11stephen hawking has no defining features
  • DivisibleByZero, on 06/07/2008, -2/+10If I was Wil Wheaton, I'd sue whoever wrote this comic for defamation of character. Note that I said Wheaton, not Crusher. This comic was terrible, and its massive black hole of suck is powerful enough that even Wheaton can't fight it.
  • ghostoftomjoad, on 06/07/2008, -2/+4wtf?
  • warplayer, on 06/07/2008, -3/+1Hey on a side note, was there any progress with the hedron collider? I haven't heard anything in awhile...
  • V2012, on 06/07/2008, -6/+6Dog vomit is much funnier.
  • PamalaLauren, on 06/07/2008, -10/+2Wil Wheaton sucks!
  • dougvfr750, on 06/07/2008, -2/+5Spent some time with Wil at SuperCon in San Jose and he is an AWESOME guy.
  • heavystone, on 06/07/2008, -2/+10Wil Wheaton is a cool guy. He has a fascinating life, I always look in at his Flickr account and look at his pictures. He is an avid hobby photographer, and has a nice blogg. He is a true Nerd and proud of it! :D

    Blogg: http://www.wilwheaton.net/
    Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/wilwheaton/
  • flair1, on 06/07/2008, -6/+3will wheaton makes clay aiken seem manly
  • Dagny2003, on 06/07/2008, -5/+7FYI boys: Having the tingles for Wesley Crusher in our tween years helped convince us hot nerd chicks to keep to our own kind. I think all you who have benefited from this owe a debt of gratitude. We learned that a perfect face on a killer body doesn't substitute for a knowledge of quantum physics in getting us hot! :) Show a little love FFS.
    • ay1ene, on 06/07/2008, -0/+5Amen, sister!
      • GliTCH82, on 06/07/2008, -0/+3You're getting buried because, quite simply, even nerdy men engage in ***** blocking.
  • ultraJesus, on 06/07/2008, -1/+5I have no idea whats going on.
  • Liz99, on 06/07/2008, -2/+2People are picking on Wil/Wesley...I follow him on Twitter!
  • jimmyp80, on 06/07/2008, -1/+5Bring back Firefly!
  • dantrc724, on 06/07/2008, -1/+2Who are all those people? and should I give a damn?

    P.S. those were rhetorical questions. I doubt it would of been funny even if I did understand the joke.
  • sutherbj, on 06/07/2008, -0/+7Dugg for Stephen Hawking never speaking nor moving
  • Slides, on 06/07/2008, -0/+1He's the cylon god
  • Aonghais, on 06/08/2008, -2/+1Yay, another new low for digg.
  • duke1981, on 06/08/2008, -2/+1www.dugg down to much letters. com
  • Simus, on 06/09/2008, -0/+1The LHC will not create a black hole that can stabilize or grow, sorry folks, nothing to see here.

    Lrn2science
  •  

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