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Taking a look at some really lame Xbox 360 achievements

destructoid.com — Whether you like to collect them (or buy them), Xbox 360 achievements have been the new e-peen for everyone to flash. It's almost like you aren't a real man unless you have an uber achievement score. Here are the top 17 lamest achievements according to G4, Now I hate G4 as much as the next guy but just look at the list.

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  • HexInfinity, on 10/12/2007, -0/+32Anyone who gets that FFXI achievement yearns for the final reward, the sweet caress of death, because their life meant nothing.
    • Emanji, on 10/12/2007, -8/+5the final fantasy one is pretty funny. 700 hrs play to get to 62 is kind weak though. If you play hardcore you can get to 75 in about 300-350hr play. /sigh i remember my old Everquest 2 toon having 225 days of PLAYED TIME, good thing I call it quit before i turn into a complete zombie.
    • GutterMoo, on 10/12/2007, -5/+6im an ffxi addict, going on three years and this number of 700 hours to get to 62 is incorrect. it depends on what job you play and how good of a player/person you are. If you make a good reputation for yourself as being a person who knows how to do your job correctly and are pretty cool to talk to you can get through 75 levels relativly quickly. That being said I don't have any of the achievements from this yet because updating my 360 would take hours. However, im able to get 2 of those 30 point awards.
    • LogicBomB, on 10/12/2007, -4/+5Some of those weren't too bad. The WORST acheivements are the unreasonably hard ones:

      (off the top of my head)
      Gears of War: 10k kills (not too bad if you play this all the time, casually this could take months)
      Chromehounds: Maxing out specializations are next to impossible. Some people have this acheivement but it's less than 1% of all people playing. Same goes with the achievement for being ranked first (or first clan) out of EVERYONE playing - not reasonable.
      Bejeweled 2: I don't know what kind of addict you need to be to get some of these. Get to level 8 on action seems easy. Except that as soon as you hit level 5 your "health/timer" bar drops faster than you can replenish without constant, unrellenting combos.
      GRAW: I believe there is an acheivement (ala chromehounds) for being first on the leaderboard.

      Ridiculous.
    • sscaff1, on 10/12/2007, -3/+2700 hours to get to level 75?

      I was a FFXI addict for 2 years and I knew people at level 75 even though I never got there. It took them like 130 hours. I understand that 3 years ago there was a lot more people playing so it was a little easier but in some update they did lower the leveling curve so that you didn't need as much experience to reach level 75 as before. So I would estimate it only takes a little longer now a days. Unless EVERYONE quit this game. Which is very possible.
    • Sedaak, on 10/12/2007, -5/+2This article was incredibly lame... game developers have no reason to make the 1000 points easy, every reason to throw in some achievements for the insanely hardcore, and every reason to encourage people to host regardless of the game.
    • xVebx, on 10/12/2007, -2/+0logicbomb, the developers put those into the games because they were something extra for hardcore players to strive for. A "good" achievement is one that takes time and persistence to accomplish, not ones that are abused by score-whores solely for the points they provide *cough*Madden and NBA *cough*.
    • xelloss, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1Lol, I got my Samurai to 75 then quit.
  • tempest89, on 10/12/2007, -5/+9I liked searching for cog tags
    • smergs, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7Yeah, I didn't mind the COG tags. Sure it doesn't do anything but give you points, but I don't think it's lame. I'm still missing 2 right now though.
    • briguymaine, on 10/12/2007, -0/+18doesn't do anything? Oh my friend, those tags represent your fallen brothers. The tags are sent home to the departed soldiers' loved ones and are the only things that some of the families will have to remember their soldiers. Plus it got me, like, 30 points.
  • Ashkc88, on 10/12/2007, -1/+19They forgot these G.R.A.W. achievement:
    World Champion in multi-player (40 points): Climb to the top of the universal leaderboard.
    Solo Champion in multi-player (32 points): Climb to the top of the solo leaderboard.
    Team Champion in multi-player (32 points): Climb to the top of the team leaderboard.
  • twatwaffle, on 10/12/2007, -10/+2I'm trying to focus on the 'lame' xbox 360 achievements but...

    I cant get past the LAME 1980's looking website.

    /woe is me
  • CaptMonkey, on 10/12/2007, -1/+20I hate how some games give you a thousand points for doing something incredibly easy which must involve something along the lines of booting up the game and pressing start - 950 points (you get the other 50 for completing the tutorial). Meanwhile, other games have things like "Kill 1,000,000 people and become the top-ranked player on Earth for 6 months." - 10 points. And yes, I hate all of my friends who play most of those stupid sports games. I see how you all padded your scores since you've all got 900-1000 points in every one you've ever played. Very clever.
  • Scopitone, on 10/12/2007, -1/+28You can NOT have a "lame" achievements article without mentioning the incredibly broken and hilariously easy to obtain King Kong achievements...

    Pyromaniac (100)
    Jack used fire to scare off enemies and get out of harm's way

    King of the Jungle (100)
    Kong has imposed his supremacy over the inhabitants of the jungle

    V-Rex Annihilator (100)
    V-Rexes got a taste of Kong’s power

    King of the V-Rexes (100)
    Kong has killed numerous V-Rexes

    Protector (100)
    Jack has protected his friends from getting harmed

    Foodchain Master (100)
    Jack used the foodchain system in order to escape certain death

    King of Skull Island (100)
    Kong has killed the Giant Snakes

    King of Demolition (100)
    Kong has destroyed the village of the Natives

    Completed game (200)
    Complete the game

    Using cheat codes doesn't disqualify you. Takes a couple hours. 1000 points. It's like steroids for your score.
    • jonnyeh, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7I give launch games a pass, the developers didn't quite understand the purpose of points.
    • briguymaine, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4I found a copy of King Kong used at a cd shop and I'm slogging my way through it just for the points. Ugh, can't wait to be done with this thing...
  • Darksaber11, on 10/12/2007, -3/+4Heh, this is a truly silly article. If you don't think the achievements are worth the idiocy, don't bother getting them.
    • daedalus1982, on 10/12/2007, -3/+4no dammit its too much fun to bitch n/ moan about the problems that plague us than to actually talk about fixing anything

      what the hell do you think this post is about? round corners? we don't fix things on digg, just bitch
  • capwn, on 10/12/2007, -12/+7personally, i'm tired of all these damn lists who make it on the frontpage, top ten this, top this, top that. I couldn't careless. Also the fact that this list comes from G4, makes me care even less,
    • Odiumjunkie, on 10/12/2007, -5/+5Yeah, this article is blatantly and unashamedly stolen wholesale from G4.
    • daedalus1982, on 10/12/2007, -6/+2@capwn

      but we feel priveleged that you took time out of your busy day to tell us so.
  • twatwaffle, on 10/12/2007, -4/+12I looked at the website and AAAHHHH MY EYES!

    WTF were YOUUUUU thinking when you created that site?
  • DrGamez, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8All the early LIVE games from EA should be on there. Hell I just got 950 points from NBA Live 06 in about an hour.
  • kevin45, on 10/12/2007, -12/+4Aren't achievement points lame in itself? I mean, they really don't mean anything and accumulating a lot doesn't get you anything.
    • Echuta, on 10/12/2007, -2/+11^^^ PS3 victim.
    • kevin45, on 10/12/2007, -8/+2I don't own that piece of ***** they call PS3. I have a 360 and never saw the point in achievements.
    • Nobi-Wan, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2It's genius marketing. I'm renting and occasionally buying games just for the achievement points because it brings a whole new dimension to gaming for me. Also when I'm wasting my life away playing pointless games at least I'll have something to show for it.
  • spyrochaete, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3On one hand, I hate the idea of achievements. Maybe it's the games I play, but when I'm playing I don't want anything to interrupt that experience. I play to suspend reality and fall into the story. I don't want to be interrupted by notifications that I've attained the Militant Leftist title for making 300 left turns just as I'm about to find out whether the butler did it.

    Then again, my favourite edition of NHL (2002 I think) was the one where you unlocked all kinds of Tony Hawk style tricks like getting a hat trick or scoring within 30 seconds. Of course the NHL series is a joke in terms of gameplay so suspension of disbelief isn't much of an issue there.
    • kevin45, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10You can turn off pop up notifications for that, and friend status. I did this so I didn't see the pop up during gameplay.
    • isuisorisuaint, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3@kevin45:

      good call...didn't know that was an option.
    • kevin45, on 10/12/2007, -3/+2Sometimes those pop up events can freeze your game too... another reason I turned them off.
  • kevin45, on 10/12/2007, -11/+1Also remember... the only reason there are lame Achievements in existence is because MS mandates every game have a minimum of 1000 to attain.
  • sm4k, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1111. Gears of War - Series of Tubes - 20 points

    I understand hosting the game has its advantages, however I liked this acheivement because it encouraged people to host their own games. It lead to there being many more games available to join when you want to play.
    • Echuta, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Yeah I don't mind these...Similar to the RSV host a 16 player match. Just so long as they don't inflate the value.
  • enforcerpsu, on 10/12/2007, -3/+2I like achievments. It gives me a good way to compare myself against other people...granted the achievement isn't retarded. I enjoy browsing through other profiles and seeing how many people did X or Y and whether I was able to do it or not.

    I always wanted a system to track all the games I beat. Now I have it. Unfortunately its only come about in this new generation.
    • amiak, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1...when i'm old and usually have more important things to do... ;)
  • foolfromhell, on 10/12/2007, -7/+1"Our pals over at G4 scrapped together a top 17"
    As soon as I read "Our pals over at G4 scrap" I dugg it...
  • xVebx, on 10/12/2007, -5/+112. Gears of War - The COG tag achievements - 60 total points. Like most people, I love Gears of War. However, I haven’t liked searching for hidden packages since GTA 3, and even then it was more of a chore to get the good weapons in my hideout than anything else. The COG tags seem like nothing more than a throw-in for an otherwise great game, as they don’t really unlock anything other than some points.

    "Jpaulding" is an idiot. The whole point of the cog tags in Gears of War was for the achievements. How could these be lame? They actually required time and energy to get, and to me, that's the whole point of getting an achievement.
  • andy2na, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2def jam icon is a crappy game and the achievements are horrible. You basically get 50 points for beating the game on normal. 90% of the achievements are earned online or hard mode; the computer AI cheats as it is in normal and EA's multiplayer servers are pretty *****.
  • Ovenall, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2In Oblivion, you get an acheivement point for joining a guild. Walk to a town and press 'A' when asked if you want to join a guild. Acheivement!
    • Echuta, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2I can excuse this one since it's the start of a greater progression within a guild and the actual points are relatively low. I would rather have it this way than just one achievement for completing the guild quest line.
  • Topher06, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1Wow, never heard or seen e-peen before (can't for the life of me understand why it relates to pen*s size), but now that I have, I will probably see it a hundred times a day on Digg, like pOwnd, teh bomb, and amazing HDR pictures. Its like someone added the term first to Wikipedia or Urban Dictionary before they actually used it to try and lend credibility to their comments and look cool for using the lastest lingo.

    Please don't let losers start internet slang, its just sad. Dugg down for trying to promote another stupid iSlang word.
    • Wytefang, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Or one of the worst one - 'Toon' - for your stupid character in any crappy MMO (aren't they all?)
  • dixon151, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2God Damnit I Hate G4
  • MikeCortez, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2We all hate G4. I know I do. They killed TechTV!
  • ericeman, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1They forgot to mention the Viva Pinata achievements for naming a pinata and creating a label which are cleverly named Pinata Name Caller and Label Designer. They're worth 20 pts each.
  • crossers, on 07/19/2008, -0/+0I think this article so stupid!
    http://www.shpe-sac.org
    http://www.ocflex.com/
    http://www.trgovinca.org
    http://www.chasr.org/
  •  

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