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See the original image at cracked.com —

8 Badass Sci-Fi Predictions That Came True In Lame-Ass Ways

cracked.com — The disappointing truth is that the futuristic devices we've demanded for so long are already here. Just different ... and kind of *****.

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  • mepostpunk, on 07/17/2008, -2/+27Dang! Ray guns and food pills? What's next... perfume for your armpits?
  • digmark, on 07/17/2008, -3/+36I was really banking on the whole "Globally Unified Society" thing too. Instead I live in a hyper-PC world with ridiculous rules, stifling creativity in the shock-horror it might offend someone.

    That'll make us get on. Let's group hug! (But no touching). Also, with the recent story on Digg about paedophiles, to make sure I'm legally in the clear the group hug invitation is only open to 18 and older, please bring photo-ID.
    • briankoenig03, on 07/18/2008, -1/+4Be sure to retain a photocopy of all of those ID's indefinitely in case somebody sees a picture of your group hug 8 years from now and wants to verify the age of all participants.
    • jbmcb, on 07/18/2008, -0/+4Unified society is not necessarily a good thing, as evidenced in Science Fiction:

      Star trek = Usually good
      Logan's Run = Bad
      Blade Runner = Probably bad, looks pretty bad
      Brave New World = Looks OK on the surface but is really awful

      I like the Star Wars model - kinda like the wild west.
      • NoDisk, on 07/18/2008, -0/+7Have we learned NOTHING from Firefly!?
      • coyote1284, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2Dugg for Brave New World
        /Praise Ford!
    • fatjoe, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2Unified society?
      Second Life of course. Where geeks worldwide can anonymously, and, in unison, fulfill their wildest fantasies
  • thrikulam, on 07/17/2008, -6/+140A cracked.com article that's all on one page?

    No one could have predicted that.
    • SilverBack101, on 07/18/2008, -1/+4The end is nigh!! O_O
    • alexkim804, on 07/18/2008, -0/+6i dugg the article just for that reason.
    • Equinox2012, on 07/18/2008, -1/+4The US is going down the ***** like a bad Sci-Fi Channel remake.
    • megamod, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2It'll be on their next article (8 Badass Sci-Fi Predictions That Came True in cool-ass Ways: #1 One page articles)

      Unfortunately though that article itself will probably 2 pages.
  • Soulbow2, on 07/17/2008, -1/+41I'm still waiting for speed sidewalks like are in airports, but you gradually step onto faster and faster sidewalks, until you are walking at over 100mph. It would have to be in a tunnel, so people don't get blown over.
    • Hockey13, on 07/18/2008, -0/+1I think eventually a system like this won't be needed. If we can program some sort of vehicle to travel at super fast speeds without getting into an accident, it'll be like a computer version of that India video where everyone just meshes together. Or....at that point I'm sure we can get auto-flying cars or whatever.
    • StoatLad, on 07/18/2008, -0/+6Sidewalks like in Asimov's "The Caves of Steel"? Those'd be pretty sweet.
    • jacobj, on 07/18/2008, -2/+5How is the tunnel going to stop people getting blown over? If you move through the air at 100mph and the air is still, then the relative wind speed is still 100mph. Plus, with all those people rushing through, vortexes would build up. It'll have to be a vacuum: that's the only way. Breath out everyone and close your eyes!

      Teleportation is the only way
  • sonar1, on 07/17/2008, -1/+18im waiting for the hoverboard
  • bluepill2, on 07/17/2008, -2/+28I'll just come out in the open and say it: I want hot, fully programmable, personalized AND modularly-upgradeable sexbots. I want the equivalent of custom case-mods, and let my creativity flourish. I'm done.
  • BedPost, on 07/18/2008, -16/+35Some cracked articles just suck. This is one of them.
  • vkiperman, on 07/18/2008, -6/+8Total waste of time.
    • xirtap, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2Yeah no kidding. What piece of *****. Everyone knows that cool stuff wasn't cool when they first made it. It was boring, lame and barely useful. The computer? A huge piece of amazingly slow machinery(Sure, it was awesome for the scientists, but people couldn't care less.). Today? People love 'em. Give the ray guns a few years.
  • Hockey13, on 07/18/2008, -1/+6I felt this was a bit of reach. Firstly, it's not as if we're at the end of all time (though don't tell that to the End-Time Handmaidens). Not everything has been invented yet. Secondly, I disagree on the topic of robots. You can look a little further than Gigapets to find awesome, innovative robots out there that will ultimately change our lives.
  • radsprack, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2I don't really agree with #2 there. That "prediction" has not yet ceased. The final product has yet to be seen.
    • DeathJux, on 07/18/2008, -0/+6What?? You're telling me that, in time, some of these things predicted may indeed come true as originally thought?? That the future may indeed not yet be here?

      Poppycock!
  • burjzyntski, on 07/18/2008, -4/+4Science fiction is just science fact that hasn't happened yet.
  • h4mx0r, on 07/18/2008, -1/+19Tamagotchi's were the ***** back in the day before Pokemon hit. If you didn't have them, you weren't cool.
  • nizbit, on 07/18/2008, -2/+2Great, that means someone is going to make a lame version of the TARDIS.
    • Equinox2012, on 07/18/2008, -1/+5There is already one... it's called a phone booth.
    • Iconoclastic, on 07/18/2008, -1/+1No...just...no. The Doctor is a paragon of virtue and a shining beacon of badassery, the likes of which we all should hope to attain; simple put, he is beyond the scope of human adulteration, except insofar as merchandising is concerned.

      At any rate, as it stands now there is no other way to bring the TARDIS to life without a phone-booth and some very interesting chemicals.
    • nizbit, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2Hey Equinox its a police box, not a phone booth
  • Evilblobs, on 07/18/2008, -3/+0Dugg for obligatory Cracked front page article.
  • lnw4151, on 07/18/2008, -3/+16Dugg for the image with the segways: "This woman is fleeing a gang rape."
    (http://www.cracked.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/200 ...
  • webbsurfer808, on 07/18/2008, -1/+10"Robot factory workers? Illegal immigrants."

    Bwa ha HA HA HA
  • whazdown, on 07/18/2008, -3/+9''One one thousand, two one thousand, three... WAARRRGHA''
  • wildtangent, on 07/18/2008, -3/+1Yes , but besides the cyborgs... those ideas were lame in fiction too...

    I am glad they did not come true exact....
  • SidiousX3, on 07/18/2008, -3/+0seriously, wtf. The fifth element takes two of these out(food pill and flying car) and it isn't mentioned in either of them. There's even a picture of it in the flying car one!
  • Zuljin, on 07/18/2008, -0/+8...Jetpacks?
  • cowsgonemadd3, on 07/18/2008, -0/+1I seen no bad donkeys....
  • JasonCox, on 07/18/2008, -0/+3I'll just be getting back to work on creating the Holodeck now.
  • Equinox2012, on 07/18/2008, -0/+1I pity the army of pill popping, mattress wielding, elderly that tangles with the US.
    BRING IT ON!
  • MarrowMan, on 07/18/2008, -2/+3The Terminators are not robots, they are Cybernetic Organisms. Call one a "robot" I dare you.
  • KaJuN4, on 07/18/2008, -1/+3Instead of robot factory workers we have overpaid UAW employees who keep going on strike because they aren't happy with their wages and benefits. Sometimes I think it wouldn't be a bad thing if humans went extinct.
  • Chalks777, on 07/18/2008, -1/+4Dugg for the brief mention of Robert Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land. However, I wonder if the author realizes that Aldous Huxley's Brave New World was a (brilliant) satire.

    Speaking of satire, I have a modest proposal for you guys.
  • bxblox, on 07/18/2008, -0/+3Moller car is just a scam that shows up in popular mechanics with a new coat of paint, every once in a while, to take money from dumb investors.
  • stud76, on 07/18/2008, -4/+0what about hand held super computers?

    that's really all i want...
  • Tyrghast, on 07/18/2008, -1/+2Oh man tamogachi addiction was the *****!!!
  • Typhoon2009, on 07/18/2008, -0/+3Holy *****, they have whole grain frosted flakes now?!?!
  • Bowman3001, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2Remember these? ***** them.
  • kakihara0513, on 07/18/2008, -1/+3wtf this article sucks

    anti-dugg
  • ButterBuddha, on 07/18/2008, -5/+1A Globally Unified Society? ***** that...
  • TheImaginator, on 07/18/2008, -1/+2Dugg - especially for the Tamagotchi picture with the line "Remember these? ***** them".
  • mozartpena, on 07/18/2008, -0/+0..kellog's frosted flakes. UM NOM NOM NOM
  • Tordenflesk, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2"There’s someone painstakingly updating Josh Groban’s Wikipedia entry right now."
  • bjs3171, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2hasn't an ACTUAL raygun been developed? I remember reading about a laser invented that can vaporize without producing any heat. Short Wave Photon, or something. Or was that *****?
  • M724, on 07/19/2008, -0/+1Reality has a way of making things lame.
  • GuanoLoca, on 07/19/2008, -0/+0Nanobot brain farms, please.
  •  

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