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See the original image at businessshrink.biz —

Removing the nose to save the penis

businessshrink.biz — Researchers have revealed in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that removing the nose extension from a typical bicycle seat, creating a noseless seat, reduces perineal discomfort, genital numbness and all but eliminates erectile dysfunction caused from extended bike riding. The research could change things for nearly 5 million recreational cyclists.

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  • ironeus, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1497% choosing to go 'noseless' sure is staggering.
    • sanman, on 08/08/2008, -4/+3the nose doesn't like the penis
      I wonder why?

      maybe dogs are the exception, tho
  • kensavage, on 08/08/2008, -0/+18or just tilt it down 5 degrees relieves 80% of all pressure on the main vein so to speak.
    • sanman, on 08/08/2008, -1/+4otherwise your voice octaves might go higher than the sound of your bicycle squeaking
    • LowRentDiggs, on 08/08/2008, -0/+2I have tried tilting my seat down but I still get numb on my commute. I haven't been riding much lately but I need to look into another seat soon.
  • SuperWinner, on 08/08/2008, -0/+3How to "cut-out" seats stack up to these noseless seats? Thats what I have on my bike and I don't seem to get any numbness in the special region.
  • ZurMacht, on 08/08/2008, -7/+5Nice, but I think Lance Armstrong would of enjoyed this a few years ago.
    • GuntherMcBadass, on 08/08/2008, -3/+1Testicular cancer is nothing to play with.

      --Gunther
    • feliks2, on 08/08/2008, -7/+8"Would have" or "would've." Seriously its not like your 8. I'm assuming that at 19 years of age you've completed school.
      • RusskiGuy, on 08/08/2008, -0/+8It's like you're trying to correct someone, but fail with your use of "your" instead of "you're." Review previous sentence for examples of correct use.
      • willynilly, on 08/08/2008, -0/+6Yes, talk about totally losing your credibility. If you correct someone's grammar (as he rightfully did in this case), you'd better do so flawlessly.
      • MortalynFlux, on 08/08/2008, -1/+1"It's like you're trying to correct someone, but fail with your use of 'your' instead of 'you're.' Review previous sentence for examples of correct use."

        You missed a comma after "your," and before instead. "Instead of 'you're'" is an adverbial phrase, and should be preceded by a comma, if it is placed at the end of a sentence.
      • Aidje, on 08/08/2008, -0/+2@mortalynflux
        The comma would be superfluous. Adverbial phrases require commas when they're at the *beginning* of the sentence—not at the end.
      • feliks2, on 08/08/2008, -0/+2Ah *****, I had a bad feeling about that when I made that post. I have no excuse.
    • willynilly, on 08/08/2008, -1/+5"Would of".

      Log off and read a book, you illiterate.
    • kokoshka, on 08/08/2008, -0/+2I appreciate the cancer joke despite any grammatical errors.
  • ChrisXPPro, on 08/08/2008, -8/+1Um WTF... Im Lost...
  • redxninja, on 08/08/2008, -10/+1***** I can't put it in her....
  • kitkatsavvy, on 08/08/2008, -3/+2that's a pretty good idea :)
  • maehem, on 08/08/2008, -1/+5Cool. Now design a bike without the top cross bar that I kept racking my nuts on as a kid.... oh, that's called a girls bike.
    • greatREDvinny, on 08/08/2008, -0/+3Or a bike that is not too big for you.
    • blahtastic, on 08/08/2008, -0/+2Why a girls bike lacks the nut bar while a guys bike has it is probably the greatest mystery of childhood.

      *Shh, it's for skirts back in the olden days.
    • dougmc, on 08/08/2008, -0/+2The classic `two triangles' shape of a bike has been with us for 100 years for a very good reason -- it works extremely well. It's strong, about as strong as it can be with a given amount of materials, making it light.

      What probably would have helped more would have been to get your parents to not get a bike that you have to `grow into'. It's better to have a top bar that's too low than too high. (But it's also important to adjust the seat properly, though my knees were a lot more tolerant of an improperly adjusted seat 30 years ago than they are now!)

      Also, in most cases, it's not your nuts that hit -- it's your ass. Still hurts, mind you, but not as much. And of course, sometimes the nuts do get hit ...
  • eggballs, on 08/08/2008, -6/+5Anything to save my son's *****-n-balls.
  • megaton, on 08/08/2008, -0/+15"Outcry from women over removal of orgasm-inducing bicycle seat nose"
    • kingfoot, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1oh dont worry, theyll start using that as a salespitch. change all bikes to be equipped with male seat, have the women pay an extra $30 for a pleasurable seat, and in the end, help the economy!


      i think I even heard that woosh...
    • dougmc, on 08/08/2008, -0/+2From what I understand, if the bicycle seat rubs a woman `there', it's uncomfortable or painful rather than orgasm-inducing. Sort of like that guy who's virginity she took -- he sort of knew where things were, but had no idea what to do once he got there.
  • Jeremyz0r, on 08/08/2008, -6/+3If MJ had to choose between his nose, penis or a little boy..
  • MartinGr, on 08/08/2008, -0/+7Ok, nice...perhaps It's just me but I though of something completely different (and not related to bikes) when I first read the title
    • kingfoot, on 08/08/2008, -0/+2i had instant images of a future with many men without noses... i dunno why either.
  • Rudegar, on 08/08/2008, -1/+35the title led me to believe that it was concerning some sort of a skin and tissue transplant
    • haentz, on 08/08/2008, -1/+7...and some serious decision.
    • kiverson, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1The title is a funny play on the content in the article. There's nothing misleading, just read the article. He talks about the bicycle NOSE and saving problems with men's PENIS. Or was that not literal enough?
  • dave8910, on 08/08/2008, -1/+5I cycle everyday for long periods of time and this is news to me.
    • SillyDigger, on 08/08/2008, -0/+3[/falsetto voice]
    • dougmc, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1As it should be. Most of the people who attribute `erectile dysfunction' to cycling ... aren't cyclists. (And they generally aren't urologists or sports doctors either.)

      As long as you pick a saddle that doesn't make you go numb and adjust it properly, you're good. If you're going numb, then something needs changing.

      Their study said `Originally only 27 percent of men reported no numbness' -- which seems very odd to me. I suspect that the bar for numbness was set very low.

      http://bicyclehabitat.com/page.cfm?PageID=97 seems to cover the issue of numbness pretty well.

      Still, this saddle they're proposing, they might be on to something. If it's more comfortable, then that's a good thing, even if it looks funny.

      Personally, it's my hands that go numb more than anything in my crotch. But it's not so bad, and it goes away minutes after being on the bike.
  • nickbr00tality, on 08/08/2008, -2/+4the title made me think they had to cut off the nose or some stupid crap like that...ohhhhhhhhh
  • CYR1X, on 08/08/2008, -1/+3I seriously don't get the problem, is the pressure of your penis so insignificant that a rider can't feel it and over time it will hurt them? I mean if it is noticeable, move your damn junk.
    • cyrix, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1For some riders it's not really a noticeable pain or numbness, but it still carries side effects in the long run for many riders. To be honest I have 3 seats that I switch out on my mountain bikes, one for hills and trails, one for commutes, and one for long trail rides. People usually run into issues because they use the wrong type of seat for the wrong type of cycling. There's a reason there are so many specially designed seats.
    • doople, on 08/08/2008, -0/+3It's like any repetitive stress injury. You don't notice it at any given time, until eventually problems arise.
    • dougmc, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1The pressure isn't on your penis, or on your balls (ow!) If it is, quit trying to tuck your junk back so you look like a girl!

      It must be on nerves somewhere ...
  • edebolt, on 08/08/2008, -0/+3get a proper bike fit. If your bike is adjusted then you will be in no danger and a nosed saddle is much better for control of the bicycle and most importantly you will not look like a safety phobe douchbag
    • CobaltBlue, on 08/08/2008, -0/+2When it comes to penis safety, I can care less what others think of me from a safety phobe standpoint. That's why I were an armored codpiece everywhere I go.
      • CobaltBlue, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1I swear someone always comes behind me and introduces typos into my comments.
      • niczar, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1If you "can care less", then this means that you care at least a little.
        You might want to use "I can't care less" instead.
      • CobaltBlue, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1No, I wouldn't use "I can't care less", because I do care a little. If I couldn't care less, I would wrap it in bubble wrap first.
    • willynilly, on 08/08/2008, -1/+1If you could spell you wouldn't look like an illiterate douchebag.
  • muniak, on 08/08/2008, -1/+3The title is very misleading, I can't imagine someone would read that and not notice that it sounds like a transplant article.
  • wexmajor, on 08/08/2008, -1/+2Wasn't there a Futurama episode about this?
  • T440, on 08/08/2008, -0/+11And yet another advantage of having a small penis..
    • cl2yp71c, on 08/08/2008, -0/+8What was the first one?
    • Jak08, on 08/08/2008, -1/+2not getting caught with protrusion in math class . . . or so I've heard.
  • kelchm, on 08/08/2008, -0/+2Yeah, that seat just isn't going to fly while mountain biking. I'll stick with my WTB, thanks.
  • AmICoolNow, on 08/08/2008, -0/+10This title is misleadingly interesting.
  • cl2yp71c, on 08/08/2008, -0/+2Dugg for the title.
  • NoisyFoot, on 08/08/2008, -1/+2cut your nose to spite your, wait uh
  • HiroOfShadows, on 08/08/2008, -0/+2Honestly, how did they not think of this already?
    Oh, and just reading the title, I thought it was some guy that got a surgery to use his nose as a penis. X_X
  • lmf49, on 08/08/2008, -0/+2I'm so glad that now there is a way to prevent my inevitable case of erectile dysfunction (or so the commercials tell me). Now if I only rode a bicycle...
  • iainmd, on 08/08/2008, -1/+7Old news, mostly debunked. Some scientist published this to sell his noseless bike seat. A properly adjusted and chosen nosed seat will not cause numbness. As for the guy who suggested tilting the saddle down: if it's tilted too far down, you'll end up with too much pressure on your hands, which is no fun after a while.

    The late bicycle guru, Sheldon Brown, weighs in on the issue: http://www.sheldonbrown.com/saddles.html (especially check out the split seats section)
    • Philonius, on 08/11/2008, -0/+1Thanks for that! Here's the relevant quote:

      Split Seats

      One "solution" that has been tried and abandoned many times over the decades is the split seat. This type of seat has two roundish pads, side by side, usually on a horizontal bar. Frequently the pads can rock up and down within a narrow range. This type of seat has no central "nose" and for this reason it is sometimes believed to be a good choice for riders with prostate or penile numbness issues.

      Unfortunately, this type of seat commonly causes more problems than it "cures."

      * The lack of a nose can compromise lateral control in some cases.

      * The pads must be angled downward, which tends to make the rider slide forward. This is liable to lead to hand/wrist/neck problems as the rider braces on the handlebar to keep from sliding forward off the seat.

      * If the pads are not angled downward, they tend to cut off circulation to the thighs, and to interfere with the thigh muscles.

      This is a design that looks good on paper, but works poorly in practice.
  • CobaltBlue, on 08/08/2008, -1/+2Better yet, go with a recumbent bike. They are much faster and more comfortable.
  • CaptainChad, on 08/08/2008, -1/+1This is really old. I saw a news segment on this once, where the person being interviewed had developed a "pronged" seat that supported the buttocks without damaging other parts of the midsection.
  • MasterThief117, on 08/08/2008, -1/+1Cut off your nose to spite your penis...
  • Tripper44, on 08/08/2008, -0/+2It took researchers to discover this?? wtf??

    Now when will they research why girls bikes dnt have the ***** crossbar to bash your balls on and guys bikes do?
  • 4tehdigg, on 08/08/2008, -0/+0Well, I have grown too fond of this thing...


    The bike seat I mean.
  • wasincox, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1Only pussies ride bikes, what's with the big fuss about male sexual disorders?
  • alpharaptor, on 08/08/2008, -1/+3i don't think cyclists should be procreating in the first place
  • vexbit, on 08/08/2008, -1/+0Huh? I've had one of these fitting to my bikes for years, and had absolutely *no* problems:
    http://www.wiggle.co.uk/images/specialized%20bg2%2 ...
  • yotomote, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1WONT SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE PENISES?
  • rz8472, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1So that's why Cyrano de Bergerac couldn't get laid....
  • savagesteve13, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1I briefly tried cycling, but when my penis became numb and tingly after a ride so I decided that inline skating was a better idea.
  • restlessmouse, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1My Schwinn had a Banana seat and it was quite comfortable. But the bellbottoms got stuck in the chain sometimes.

    In other news, I see "kind of a big deal" girl has a new shirt. It says I (lamp with heart shaped chain) Her legs are hideous malformations. Poor thing.
  •  

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