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Why You Should Partake in Clinical Trials

doubleviking.com — Offering your body up for experimentation is one of the few awesomely sci-fi things a human being can do anymore, outside of reading Neuromancer and then playing Second Life. Here's why you should start getting into clinical trials.

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  • Datasta, on 06/23/2008, -1/+7The only clinical trial I would like to try is that syrum given to the Edward Norton to make him into the hulk.
    • sterntastic223, on 06/23/2008, -0/+1Mr. Blue would love to try it out on you.
    • HCviolence, on 06/24/2008, -0/+3The hulk can't have sex
      • ChromaVita, on 06/24/2008, -0/+1No, Bruce Banner can't have sex. The hulk is probably crazy in the sack...
    • hiPpymIck, on 06/24/2008, -1/+2or you might be unlucky and turn into the Elephant Man instead..

      FTA (UK 2006)
      The six men who received the drug suffered a massive immune reaction which caused horrific swelling and widespread organ failure.

      One patient was described as looking like "the elephant man" after his head swelled up;

      another has since required surgery to remove fingers and toes, and all the volunteers have been told they face a heightened risk of cancer and immunological disorders in later life.

      The catastrophe happened even though trials in animals suggested the drug was safe.

      http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2006/dec/08/heal ...
  • Cowgodx, on 06/23/2008, -2/+7well ***** i want to bang Ros Mcgowan...sign up me up
  • LegendaryHitman, on 06/23/2008, -0/+4That's pretty hard core, but I don't think anal leakage is an acceptable outcome for any situation, even a feduciary one. Bangin' Rose McGowan aside, I don't think she'd be into it if you are suffering from "an orange discharge with your stool"...
    • iamronburgundy, on 06/23/2008, -0/+2Dude, she dated Marilyn Manson - she'd be up for anything!
  • scorpius6, on 06/23/2008, -0/+2personally I am all for this but then again, thinking back to the book 'firestarter' or something akin to that, I am not so sure.
  • TheCarDude, on 06/23/2008, -1/+5The weed smoking studies are alway worth wild. Government grade chronic is some good ish.
    • BOFH2, on 06/24/2008, -0/+7Worth wild? How about worth while? Are you the guy who consistently sings the wrong lyrics to a song and does not believe your friends when they tell you the right words?
      • funk13, on 06/24/2008, -0/+3yeah, he's the "for all intensive purposes" guy
        • BOFH2, on 06/24/2008, -0/+1wonder if he has prostrate problems too
  • omnithought, on 06/24/2008, -3/+3Yeah, try experimental pharmaceuticals with unknown side effects, great idea....NOT!
  • isparadiselost, on 06/24/2008, -0/+10You should only partake in clinical trials if it's for something that may save your life. Otherwise, you're seen as a literal human guinea pig and tough ***** if things go wrong. Massively bad choice.
  • jhill76, on 06/24/2008, -0/+2In Austin, TX they pay like $5,000 for a week or two of stay. That money is good if you are not really working.
  • Dumbledorito, on 06/24/2008, -0/+3Sounds like that old '70's medical documentary... what was the name? "Firestarter?"
    • paradox4190, on 06/24/2008, -0/+2Actually, that was a Stephen King b--- oh I see what you did thar.
  • zaii7, on 06/24/2008, -0/+2shotgun
  • audleylibrary, on 06/24/2008, -0/+2Please refrain from tasting the knob.
  • AngusSteel, on 06/24/2008, -0/+3Dude i want some spidey senses too!
  • silverleaves, on 06/24/2008, -3/+3Doesn't anyone know that the pharmaceutical companies are already experimenting on us? They are called the newest drugs on the market. They have not be thoroughly tested. They have been OK'd by the FDA and they cause deaths left and right.
  • ileftfark, on 06/24/2008, -0/+2Because two arms just aren't enough!
  • prosayik, on 06/24/2008, -1/+7...Or you could die I horrible painful death as these individuals did http://edition.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/03/15/uk.clinic ... and get dubbed 'elephant man.'
  • Cate320, on 06/24/2008, -1/+2I'm too paranoid to take tylenol for a headache, just in case 10 years from now they say "oops, it causes cancer". I realize that is unlikely, but not worth the risk imo :P

    No way would I voluntarily take some drugs that were untested, unless it could potentially save my life.
    • arcooke, on 06/24/2008, -0/+1There's more dangerous crap in the air you breathe than in a Tylenol.
      • Cate320, on 06/24/2008, -1/+1Exactly my point, really.

        I am exposed to enough toxins that I can't really help. Why add to that list potential toxins that I can avoid?
  • chubbybubba, on 06/24/2008, -0/+4Everyone wants to be the Hulk, but nobody ever mentions the Hulks anal leakage.
  • Lynx55, on 06/24/2008, -0/+9Ahem. Excuse me? May I have your attention for a moment? Look, put aside all the silliness please...I have cancer...Malignant Fibrous Histiocytoma, to be exact. There is ONE, count them, ONE, clinical trial for this type of soft cell sarcoma. And they cannot get people to enter into the trials. If someone had entered into trials years ago, I may not be facing death within 6-9 mos. I am in 3rd stage of 3 stages and will be going into hospice care soon. PLEASE participate in clinical trials. Because cliche as it sounds, the life you save may be your own. Or your parents, your children, your loved one....( End of lecture, you may return to your life now).
    • sterntastic223, on 06/24/2008, -1/+1Amen.
    • bxblox, on 06/24/2008, -0/+2Did you enter the trial?
    • Wade, on 06/24/2008, -0/+3People probably aren't willing to participate in trials that have the potential to kill them or otherwise cause them displeasure in their lives. I imagine they value their life as much as you value your own. Before you found out about your cancer did you ever participate in a clinical trial?
  • B08ama, on 06/24/2008, -0/+3If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to sign up for testing this new gamma ray treatment you have.
  • feacesface, on 06/24/2008, -0/+3I know it's impulsive, but I signed up for a clinical trial at something called Aperture. They were pretty vague about what the test was for but the rewards are pretty sweet.
    • Nematoad20, on 06/24/2008, -0/+1Yea i remember reading about that one, under the rewards section it said something about cake! I'm in.
  • tama00, on 06/24/2008, -1/+1I'm 30 years old mum i can do what i want!
  • finezapa, on 06/24/2008, -1/+1partake in MY NUTS!

    FIN.
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