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Hansel and Gretel: The Tim Burton movie you’ve never seen

slashfilm.com — Early in his career, Tim Burton directed a modern gothic violent retelling of Hansel and Gretel. Never heard of it before? It exists - although little evidence of its existence can be found. Even worse, chances are that if you haven’t seen it, you never will.

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  • TheRob, on 01/01/2008, -0/+38ok so how long before someone on digg tracks it down ?
  • EatingPie, on 01/01/2008, -0/+22Better yet, find Burton's earliest animated short "Vincent." About a boy named Vincent who wishes he was Vincent Price, narrated by Vincent Price!

    I don't think Burton has disowned Vincent, as he did Hansel and Gretel (japanese cast? ninjas?). Sure, suggesting Vincent is a bit of a tangent, but you won't regret it... and I get the feeling regret may come in spades with Hansel and Gretel (ninjas?)

    -Pie
  • Dysarthria, on 01/01/2008, -35/+13Tim Burton = Over-rated.
  • merdiesel, on 01/01/2008, -1/+26"Tim Butron’s Hansel and Gretel aired on the Disney Channel on Halloween night 1982, and was never seen or heard from again."

    ...until now!
    ::waits for .torrent link::
  • dunezone, on 01/01/2008, -1/+8Someone has it on VHS recorded. Hell, I have Disney's "Mr Boogedy" still on VHS recorded with the old 80's commercials and that came out back in 1986.
    • blackjack75, on 01/01/2008, -0/+25Where do I click to get a .torrent out ouf a .vhs?
      • neodorian, on 01/01/2008, -4/+1You capture the video and create a torrent.
        • MarkOfTheDead, on 01/02/2008, -1/+1You forgot the part about killing the joke.
    • neodorian, on 01/01/2008, -0/+1Heh, Mr. Boogedy and the sequel were so bad but I loved those movies when I was a kid.
  • Curlz31, on 01/01/2008, -6/+9I love Edward Scissorhands.
  • johnnykalma, on 01/01/2008, -2/+8ive looked through the great Google. nothing. nothing at all.
  • Alix7, on 01/01/2008, -9/+2Here's a clip:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akQ4Uhp0DOw
    I'm tracking the rest of this mofo down...


    Edit: http://www.amazon.com/Hansel-Gretel-Michael-Yama/d ...
    • orfilms, on 01/01/2008, -0/+13This is not from Burton's film. Burtons movie is 95% live-action
      • Alix7, on 01/01/2008, -0/+6The amazon link is in fact Burton's movie while the youtube is some other crap.
  • zyth, on 01/01/2008, -3/+8http://www.amazon.com/Hansel-Gretel-Michael-Yama/d ...
    Amazon lies and says it sells it... just not 'In Stock' - and in German. Looks like it just indexed IMDB and made a page. Heh.
    • Alix7, on 01/01/2008, -2/+7This could be an interesting discovery. Does Amazon index reliable third party databases for their website?
      • Goblin, on 01/01/2008, -0/+7Amazon OWNS IMDB. Go to www.imdb.com and scroll right to the bottom of the page.
    • Elranzer, on 01/01/2008, -0/+6Not the correct movie. Burton's film is not 107 minutes long nor have Englbert Humperdink.
  • redhotkurt, on 01/01/2008, -4/+23This is the worst written article I've read all year.
  • daxsymbiont, on 01/01/2008, -22/+5hm, he is like the first emo.

    edward scissorhands, the first emo.

    i.e. the first gay-goth.

    and don't tell me emo doesn't equal gay-goth, cause you don't know fashion's history XD/.
    • benguild, on 01/01/2008, -4/+1I bet you can't buy his clothes at Hot Topic.
    • itsthebrod, on 01/01/2008, -1/+7Huh? Have you been using Draino as a narcotic?
      • acceptab1euname, on 01/01/2008, -0/+3Just another participant in the further Stupiding of America.
  • smek2, on 01/01/2008, -0/+30"Tim Burton directed a modern gothic violent retelling of Hansel and Gretel." -- uhm, i never seen this burton version, but the original tale of Hansel and Gretel was already very twisted and violent to begin with. That's like doing a "crazy" version of Alice in Wonderland.
    • johnnykalma, on 01/01/2008, -0/+10SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
      don't ive Tim Burton anymore ideas
    • Shawn4168, on 01/01/2008, -0/+7Yeah, all of the Brothers Grimm fairy tales were quite twisted...most of them weren't exactly written with children in mind.
  • smacksaw, on 01/01/2008, -2/+10I heard that Jon Peters was the producer and had hired Kevin Smith to do it, but reneged and had Burton do it since Hansel's dialouge consisted of a bunch of words like "snootchie bootchies" and other pot-related nonsense. Burton took over, but since he forgot to put a giant spider in it, Peters pulled the plug and it sits waiting for ILM to add the spider.
    • DCJoeDogaswell, on 01/01/2008, -1/+7dugg up for very obscure spider reference
  • someone173406, on 01/01/2008, -1/+2Digg effect, go!
    • someone173406, on 01/01/2008, -1/+1Find this video, i forgot to add that =P
  • akashra, on 01/01/2008, -0/+13Guarantee it appears on TPB in the next 48 hours.
    • supermanred, on 01/02/2008, -1/+1Trailer Park Boys? The new season doesnt even start for months!
  • smacksaw, on 01/01/2008, -1/+8You know what other Tim Burton movie I've never seen? Kevin Smith's Superman, that's what.

    Anyone else here change their mind about Burton after seeing An Evening With Kevin Smith?
    • Elranzer, on 01/01/2008, -0/+3Warner Bros pulled the plug on Burton's Superman due to Wild Wild West. Also, you never got to see Burton's Batman Forever. You can thank Joel Schumacher for the consolation prize, however.
      • smacksaw, on 01/01/2008, -0/+4You know, about the only response I can think of without having everything come out is that Trey Parker and Matt Stone are right in mocking the entire machine there.
  • Frostman3D, on 01/01/2008, -3/+5Sounds like it's a good thing I haven't seen this film. I like some of Burton's work, but his weirdness ***** up a lot of his films.
  • pentak, on 01/01/2008, -2/+20My ex-girlfriend taped it way back then...

    ...before she died & her family burned her stuff
    • Remmy, on 01/01/2008, -0/+20Wow. That was a depressing comment.
    • bluenash, on 01/01/2008, -0/+19kind of tim burtonesque...and in that sense, appropriate.
    • MasterGrief, on 01/01/2008, -3/+1I was about to say it was a lie until I had pictures, but then I realized what that might entail, and decided against it.
  • benroy, on 01/01/2008, -8/+1It's very unlikely that any member of my family ever taped that. But if someone did, my Dad would probably have recorded Tron over it a few months later. Or the special Christmas episode of Family Ties where Erwin "Skippy" Handleman escapes, vaults himself over the fence and slaughters the Keatons', steals Alex's nest-egg money and runs away to Belize. Only to emerge in Los Angeles twenty years later as a failed stand-up comic.
    Oh, yeah, Tim Burton is doing a full feature film based on his "Frankenweenie" short. www imdb.com/title/tt1142977/
    Copy and paste if the link doesn't work.
  • yournamehere, on 01/01/2008, -19/+9sick of Tim Burton, everything he does looks the same. I think there was only one movie that he didnt make using the same 'grey/black' palette.
    i know, digg me down in 3..2...1..
    • lordsteve, on 01/01/2008, -3/+1The trick to making a name for yourself in any kind of art form is to make all of your stuff look/feel the same. Some just go farther off the beaten path than others. If you don't like it, don't watch it, but don't complain.
  • SeaweedWater, on 01/01/2008, -5/+0how about the one he made where a scientist brings boris karloff back from the grave and uses him as frankenstein to go kill people.
    and free sex live online videos as well.
  • HanSolo69, on 01/01/2008, -1/+5You do realize that the original tale of Hansel and Gretel was violent, right? The violence isn't part of the "modern re-telling".
  • floatingpoints, on 01/01/2008, -3/+5"Even worse, chances are that if you haven’t seen it, you never will."

    Yeah, because p2p networks don't exist or anything...
    • Myonosken, on 01/01/2008, -0/+7As amazing as it may be, not everything can be found on P2P. If noone uploads it then it aint there.
      • andrewa, on 01/01/2008, -1/+3Well, I wish this Noone bloke would bloody well hurry up and upload it.
  • taosd, on 01/01/2008, -9/+0Probably better I don't see it... Tim Burton's a ***** hack
  • ironicsans, on 01/01/2008, -0/+5I've never found a copy of H&G, but I do have a VHS copy of Tim Burton's "Aladdin" episode of Faerie Tale Theater, starring Robert Carradine, James Earl Jones, Leonard Nimoy, Valerie Bertinelli, and others. It looks like it's on YouTube, too. Here's the best clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVx0504WfjE
  • geekuskhan, on 01/01/2008, -1/+13I'm calling ***** on this entire article. The guy knows no one who has actually seen the film? Also he states definitively that it aired on the Disney Channel on Halloween night 1982. I mean that's pretty specific. But its also ***** since according to Wikipedia the Disney Channel made it's first broadcast on April 18 1983.

    Either this guy is just making stuff up or someone is pulling his leg.
    • twentyeyes, on 01/01/2008, -4/+1Right. Because if Wikipedia says so, it *must* be true!
    • supermanred, on 01/02/2008, -5/+2Wikipedia is a big pile of crap dumped out by a bunch of idiots, and moderated by another bunch of idiots. Who cares what wikipedia says.
  • DickyT83, on 01/01/2008, -6/+2"January 1st, 2008 at 5:29 am

    What did you used to search it in Emule?

    I very interested… I Spanish"

    lol.
    • neodorian, on 01/02/2008, -1/+2Lololol!!!11 Someone doesn't speak teh Engrish as first languagE!

      /***** morons.
    • supermanred, on 01/02/2008, -1/+4Let's hear your Spanish DickyT83. You must be a US citizen, always making fun of other's English, meanwhile you probably only speak enough of one single language just to get by, let alone have an intelligent conversation with anyone.

      I speak 3 languages and still would not make fun of anyone's poor language skills. At least they are trying and I bet you that Spanish guy's English is better than your Spanish.
    • DickyT83, on 01/02/2008, -1/+2Actually I am bilingual with Spanish as a second language. My mom was born and raised in Monterrey. Just because I thought it was funny how he put it, doesn't mean I'm in turn an idiot.
  • arcangelgabriel, on 01/01/2008, -12/+5Write to:

    Tim Burton, Self Absorbed Arteeeest
    C/O Misunderstood Creators
    38 Wacky drive #2
    Completly ***** Nutso NJ 010111
  • theprophet84, on 01/01/2008, -10/+4I'm suprised he isnt as embaressed about his other movies too. The guy is not very creative and the writing is always dry, thats why me and Kevin Smith say ***** Tim Burton.
    • lordsteve, on 01/01/2008, -2/+5If you don't like Tim, go watch Meet the Spartans, but there's no way on earth you can possibly say he's not creative. Who else can come up with Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands and The Nightmare Before Christmas?? If those aren't creative, what are you looking for?
  • depro9, on 01/01/2008, -7/+4Burton is a living legend, if you don't like his work get kicked in the head by a mule. Simple as that, mule hooves your skull quick smashing motion, repeat if needed.
  • AWooWoo, on 01/01/2008, -1/+4everyone was Kung-Fu fighting
  • swgc5, on 01/01/2008, -4/+7"***** Tim Burton" - Kevin Smith
  • olbap, on 01/02/2008, -3/+3Tim Burton is just one man. Let us not forget about the hundreds of other people who also worked to help create his so-called vision. Sorry, no man is an island. So, stop worshiping individuals when the results of "their work" is, in actuality, the efforts of many many people!
  • supermanred, on 01/02/2008, -0/+2This is harder to find on the torrents/ p2p networks than Team Knight Rider or that Bollywood Superman movie.
    • neodorian, on 01/02/2008, -2/+1Then why am I downloading it now from eMule. I posted the ed2k link at the top of this thread.
      • jubilee123, on 01/02/2008, -0/+2the link you posted is an episode of Faerie Tale Theatre, even though it says it is by Tim Burton.
  • kds405, on 01/02/2008, -0/+2The less Tim Burton, the better. I can't stand his so-called "vision". Oh yeah, there's one Burton movie I enjoyed and it was Pee Wee's Big Adventure. ***** him.
  • heathamazing, on 01/02/2008, -0/+0I think...he's an interesting person. But I think that people give him more credit than what he deserves. I mean, he's not THAT amazing. His movies are just going threw a trend right now...
  • m0thily, on 01/03/2008, -1/+0(Spoilers possible below:)

    I have to weigh in and say that I have seen and do own a copy of this on VHS (somewhere!)... For the longest time, I was trying to figure out *what it is* (other than a slightly demented version of Hansel and Gretel), how to buy a copy on DVD or watch it online, because it's floating somewhere in my 8,000 boxes of old VHS tapes. It was taped for me by my great-aunt, and my brother and friends and I have been watching it and laughing about it for years.

    If this is the one we're talking about, it shows two kids, a brother and sister, who wander out into the forest and wind up in an edible house (inhabited by an evil witch, who happens to also be their stepmother/mother). My favorite quote from this is when a deranged stop-motion or puppet gingerbread man says to Hansel: "If you want my body, and you thank I'm tasty, come on, Hansel, take a bite!"

    I checked on iMDB's photos, and Michael Yama is one of the characters I remember, but I'm pretty sure he played the evil (step-?)mother basically in drag, not Gretel, as iMDB says... I could be wrong, but yeah.

    Maybe if we add it to our Amazon wish lists, the studio will consider releasing it, on a Tim Burton collection of shorts or something?
    • frankenfag, on 03/24/2008, -0/+1"somewhere in my 8,000 boxes of old VHS tapes"

      get to work.
  • euping, on 01/03/2008, -0/+1Thanks a lot!!! Found and downloading!!!! Great!!!

    If someone helps me (with subtitles) I could make an english translation.
  • YoHenYo, on 01/04/2008, -0/+3How many movies with twisted-branched trees do I have to see directed by this hack?

    His vision for every movie is one in the same, and he consistently brings the same ideas to every movie.
    • dafrak, on 01/07/2008, -0/+0hello yohenyo just wanted to know where abouts you have downloaded it from thank you
  •  

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