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The 6 Worst Things Harry Potter's Success Has Wrought

toplessrobot.com — Of course, it also created a legion of retarded fans unheard of since the throes of Star Trek, dozens of lame knockoffs, and other weird *****. Here's some of the worst things the boy wizard's global success has brought to this already cold and dark universe.

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  • dajernts, on 07/08/2008, -4/+29Great piece. The mpreg thing was especially funny...though grotesque.
  • t3hmyth, on 07/08/2008, -4/+2I agree with the list. However, there's more: http://wrt-brooke.syr.edu/courses/205.03/bloom.htm ...
  • dbldn, on 07/08/2008, -8/+3I thought you were going to say Huey Lewis.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDc6S330otc
  • bleh19799791, on 07/08/2008, -3/+9That mpreg cartoon totally looks like M. Jackson. Growing his own child since he can't afford to pay for another baby mama for another offspring. Now that's freaky.
  • Esoteric1, on 07/08/2008, -5/+54WTF!!! Snape killed Dumbledore?!?!
  • serif69, on 07/08/2008, -11/+221. Harry Potter
  • noahhoward, on 07/08/2008, -11/+30Is hatred of this sort of thing some form of dementia or something that rises out of insecurity? The series got thousands of people reading again, it is adored by young and old. I'm not entirely sure what reason the guy writing this article has for insulting everyone who reads it as grubby or stunted. Perhaps he should find a beaver to get the tree stump out of his ass.

    Just to clarify yes we could do without the things in his list but he's attacking anyone who dared to like the book in his opening paragraph.
    • serif69, on 07/08/2008, -9/+4No, hatred of this sort of thing is part and parcel of hating really ***** annoying people. My hatred of Harry Potter boils up when I hear people saying things like "smiggets" or "spoogeycrack" or however the ***** they talk in the books.
    • UsablePuddle, on 07/08/2008, -3/+1Dugg for the Beaver tree stump gag.
    • DaHuuuuuudge, on 07/08/2008, -1/+6I see what you're saying, but try not to take so much offense from things. I don't think the author was genuinely trying to insult all Harry Potter readers; he was just trying to make a funny article.

      I'm a fan of the series, but I dugg this.
  • hannahback, on 07/08/2008, -2/+18Twilight is possible the most crappy book (if you consider 500 pages of purple prose to be a book) ever. You guys have no idea about the legions of 12 year old girls that rave about it.

    But the thing is, its actually popular!
    • potterboy, on 07/08/2008, -12/+2I actually really liked it, it has its bad moments, but for the majority of the series, it's amazing.
  • fluidfoundation, on 07/08/2008, -8/+5Maybe one day they'll wrought that hermione chick some titties.
    • UsablePuddle, on 07/08/2008, -2/+1What?

      I think I know what you are getting at, You wouldn't go there?

      I know I would!
  • Depravo, on 07/08/2008, -21/+111: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
    2: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
    3: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
    4: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
    5: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
    6: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
    • CorneliusStump, on 07/08/2008, -4/+2i c wut u did there
    • YancyFryJr, on 07/13/2008, -0/+7No Sorcerer's Stone?
      • Depravo, on 07/08/2008, -4/+0I don't profess to be an expert on the subject. I just went for the obvious gag.
      • WhiteGenie, on 07/08/2008, -0/+1The first book couldn't have wrought the first book. Only the next 6.
    • WatchDoit, on 07/08/2008, -1/+4I don't get it please explain
      • forevernomad, on 07/08/2008, -0/+1re-read the title, then come back here :)





        Just another service provided by your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!
  • fef560, on 07/08/2008, -2/+54Oh what the *****, who the hell came up with MPREG?
    • bethlagarrison, on 07/08/2008, -8/+3God
      • SolidBones, on 07/08/2008, -0/+21No. God did not come up with this. This does not happen under the watch of any God.

        Humans did this. 14 year old humans whose stories make Frued dance in his grave.
    • DrHoliday, on 07/08/2008, -0/+6Star Trek fans a long time ago on news groups. Think Kirk/Spock.

    • protogenxl, on 07/08/2008, -1/+2A Female Yaoi writer with Issues
  • Chassit, on 07/08/2008, -15/+9***** that arrogant blogger.
  • Rizmaster, on 07/08/2008, -7/+2The theory that all you need to do to write a fantasy novel is come up with a bunch of stupid sounding words attached to a story you obviously plagiarized?

    And 5 other things?
  • elister, on 07/08/2008, -6/+1actually i think its hilarious that internet nerds go to midnight premieres and loudly pronounce spoilers. pitty that triumph the insult comic never got involved.
  • bicyclethief, on 07/08/2008, -1/+7This list is supposed to be horrific?
    • midejitsu, on 07/08/2008, -0/+5I can neither confirm nor deny ever having read, written, or performed on youtube any of the hundreds of thousands of examples of Harry Potter fan-fiction. I must however say that learning about the whole male pregnancy thing just now was more than just a bit disturbing.
  • SolidBones, on 07/08/2008, -1/+59"magical abortion"
    Sweet bees, I have never laughed this hard.
  • Mandeponium, on 07/08/2008, -10/+5"Snape ***** Dumbledore."
  • DMBmelch, on 07/08/2008, -5/+4Snape kills Dumbledore
  • chrissku, on 07/08/2008, -2/+17If it wasn't for Harry Potter books Daniel Radcliffe would probably never get the quality Poo-nanny he's getting.
    • BigPapi, on 07/08/2008, -0/+15Last time I checked he was hitting on woman twice his age, bragging about smoking and carrying opened condoms in his pocket.
  • rypic7, on 07/08/2008, -9/+4I'll probably get buried for this, but is it bad that I think that Twilight movie looks pretty rad? I suppose I have not read the books though.
    • InfinitySnatch, on 07/09/2008, -0/+1You mean how the vampire kid doesn't even drink blood and can survive in daylight? Or how the actor is some 25 year old playing a high school freshman? Yeah, I guess that's pretty rad.

      Oh *****, it's not.
  • WoundedCow, on 07/08/2008, -5/+3A half-assed wanna be writer taking a shot at Star Trek fans? I think not.

    May his wife become Mudd's Stella, his kids become little pricks like Charlie X and his life last as long as a security officer on as away team.
  • gavin422, on 07/08/2008, -2/+6No Harry Potter tribute bands? They, surely, are the worst thing to happen to music since Nickelback.

    http://www.last.fm/event/485422
    • mlvassallo, on 07/08/2008, -3/+2The Lupus Remus is pretty awesome. They don't take themselves seriously and the songs are pretty funny. Also, the correct term is Wizard Rock...
      • elizabethb221, on 07/09/2008, -0/+1Uh, did you mean The Remus Lupins?
      • mlvassallo, on 07/09/2008, -0/+1NERD! AHAHAHAH! Yeah... I did. I only saw them once at Book People.
    • stephaniegrace, on 07/08/2008, -0/+3Harry and the Potters are supposedly pioneers of Wizard Rock.
      http://www.eskimolabs.com/hp/band.htm
      The Boston Phoenix has called them the "Pink Floyd of Potterdom."

      And somewhere, Roger Waters weeps.

      • CarolineAttack, on 07/08/2008, -0/+3 Wizard Rock may be silly but I'll take it over Nickelback any day...


  • TheBuz, on 07/08/2008, -5/+8I don't care. I still like the books. They are entertaining. That blogger can miss everything cool and die angry, doesn't matter to me.
    • Shirleycakes, on 07/08/2008, -1/+10Did you read the article? They don't dislike the books, they dislike what has happened as a result. I'm a fan, but Wanding and MPREG scare the ***** out of me.
      • TheBuz, on 07/09/2008, -0/+1Oh I read it. The first paragraph was all about knocking the books and those who read it. He lost his credibility for me at that point.

        But yeah I agree, MPREG is terrifying no matter what.
  • rz8472, on 07/08/2008, -0/+2They forgot all those cheap foreign knockoffs of Harry Potter, like the Chinese "Harry Potter and the Dragon-Leaps-Over-the-Tiger", the Indian one where he visits Mumbai, and that Russian rip-off where the protagonist is actually a female.
    • thatsmyaibo, on 07/08/2008, -0/+1Mary Chotter and the Witches Rock?
    • rz8472, on 07/08/2008, -0/+1That's an English name. It was Tanya Grotter (not joking...)
  • f4nt0m4s, on 07/08/2008, -0/+10It's weird...because the first Harry Potter book came out right around when I was in 4th or 5th grade, and the final book came out while I was attending college. It seems like the older I got the less impact each new book had; probably because the books all follow a similar formula and kind of lost steam with each new addition to the series. But the Harry Potter series is getting kids to read, and that's not a bad thing; especially considering how many children suck at English and Literature these days. English shouldn't be a class to get a grade in...it should be something you know for everyday life. I was handed the Hobbit when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, and it blew my mind. That book got me into fantasy. So, if Harry Potter can do that for a current generation, who cares if it has some annoying flaws. We could make a similar article about Lord of the Rings, but if the success of Tolkien's work inspires people to read, then good for Tolkien.
  • sagat, on 07/08/2008, -2/+10"it also created a legion of retarded fans unheard of since the throes of Star Trek"

    UM ever heard of Apple and Nintendo fans?
  • ansatsu29, on 07/08/2008, -1/+2I am also wondering what will happen to harry and the rest of the characters after the deathly hallows....will Rowling write another HP after that?
  • UsablePuddle, on 07/08/2008, -0/+1How was No. 6 anything to do with a spawn of Potters success?
    • Shirleycakes, on 07/08/2008, -0/+2It'd be damn near impossible for the film to be made without being shunned as a HP knockoff. Sad thing too, it's a brilliant story.
  • Haoie, on 07/08/2008, -0/+14Snapes... On A Plane!!
  • Zeag, on 07/08/2008, -2/+2I'm saddened this list didn't include Harry Putter and his friends as furries hentai.
    • Gizza, on 07/09/2008, -1/+1"Worst" things about Harry Potter's success.
  • richnojutsu, on 07/08/2008, -1/+4When Harry Potter first came out I was still using AOL and being the RPG nerd I am, I played casually in the RPG specific chat rooms. AOL users may remember the dice string you could type in to cast the dice. Anyhow, I popped into a Harry Potter RPG chat once and died a little inside. These people were role-playing Hogwarts teachers pitching it to each other and Harry sucking off Draco. WTF!
  • AndrewDB, on 07/08/2008, -3/+2I'm surprised it forgot to mention that it brought out the attention whore in JK Rowling.
  • xDynaBlade, on 07/08/2008, -1/+3Don't forget the HP porn.
  • aftern9ne, on 07/08/2008, -1/+0#3 was a good thing I think.
  • Tinu, on 07/08/2008, -0/+5Prior to reading this article, I was only aware of 1 of the 6. Ignorance is bliss.
  • mweflen, on 07/08/2008, -2/+4Since when are Star Trek fans retarded? Dugg down as inaccurate, p'takh!
    • protogenxl, on 07/08/2008, -0/+2No you must bide your time. Revenge is a Dish best served Cold.
  • OliveStreet, on 07/08/2008, -2/+5WOW! ... Is this guy bitter or what?

    Hey, how many people read your ***** this past year, hum?
    • mandarin, on 07/08/2008, -1/+2Im actually wondering about that myself. Seems to be an awful lot of anger for a book that many kids like to read...
  • tvnews, on 07/08/2008, -5/+2#1 worst thing it has brought is more harry potter
    #2 worst thing is people talking about harry potter.

    No I don't like harry potter.
  • verivalta, on 07/08/2008, -0/+3Oh GOD! Someone just circulated that MPREG crap on the fun thread at my work and then I had the horror of realizing it's number one on this list. I didn't read it twice. Just knowing it's there is too much.
  • aquablackmage, on 07/08/2008, -0/+3#7(well, it goes with #6): http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/My_ ...

    This is one of the funniest fanfics involving Harry Potter ever made. I'm surprised that noboby has mentioned this goldmine of lulz yet. If you don't feel like reading the ED article on it, here is a direct link to the fanfic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2828044/1/
  • wexmajor, on 07/08/2008, -0/+3"the various failures of humanity that compile most of websites like YTMND and 4chan"

    Where's SomethingAwful? That's where the leak came from in the first place.
  • wexmajor, on 07/08/2008, -0/+3You can't blame Harry Potter for weird fetishes on the internet, this list sucks.
    • protogenxl, on 07/08/2008, -0/+1I was wondering when someone was going to invoke Rule 34
  • Rudegar, on 07/08/2008, -0/+1plus it got me into black magic and witchcraft :)
  • Changa, on 07/08/2008, -1/+1Where can I get one of those new finagled "Atari Game-Boxes" he mentioned in the article?
  • chukd, on 07/08/2008, -0/+3I am thankful for Chris Columbus. The first three movies were the best adaption of the book. I know he didn't have anything with the third but 4, 5 and most likey 6 and 7 will suffer.
  • zaalibhai, on 07/08/2008, -2/+0****!
    ...And to think I paid the full $10.71 for that Wanding book...

  • CrazyEddie041, on 07/08/2008, -3/+2A comparative reference of my reaction to MPREG:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNvbU4A29l8

    (Not a Rick Roll, I promise.)
  • AGONYTUESDAY, on 07/08/2008, -2/+4WHY? ***** WHOEVER SUBMITTED THIS LINK.
  • moogle516, on 07/08/2008, -2/+1They forgot to mention the legion of emo kids that got into Wicca
  • mavbrow, on 07/09/2008, -1/+0Can't say I agree, but the snape mpreg was absolutely worth the excruciating read.
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