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God arrested outside of church. WTF is next?

abcactionnews.com — God was arrested by undercover detectives for selling cocaine!

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  • michaelwong38, on 06/24/2008, -4/+52Funny, i always thought God would be selling fake Rollies. Sheesh
  • davidhallstrom, on 06/24/2008, -3/+98I didn't think that anybody in the world would have God as a given first name.
    • d1gg3r1, on 06/24/2008, -3/+11Gottlieb ::: Translation: God's Love
      • rednaxela825, on 06/24/2008, -1/+10God's Love = not God
        • GrantTheGr8, on 06/25/2008, -0/+4Well, according to the Bible, God is love, so...
    • artfiend77, on 06/24/2008, -6/+51Well, if people can be named Muhammed....
      • Eezyville, on 06/24/2008, -3/+20...then they can be named Yahweh.

        edit: Should I have taken out the vowels?
      • ladon86, on 06/24/2008, -2/+21http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b89CnP0Iq30

        "Yahweh!!!!"
      • Pillage, on 06/24/2008, -1/+7and jesus
      • StealthMonkey, on 06/24/2008, -3/+6Just as long as you never show a picture of them.
      • Viend, on 06/25/2008, -1/+7Muhammed is not God, dumbass.
        • artfiend77, on 06/25/2008, -1/+2He's a leading figure in a religion, ***** for brains. If I said Allah would that have not hurt your feelings princess?
      • dukemaskot, on 06/25/2008, -1/+2Muhammed isn't a God to Muslims, he is a prophet.
        Please be aware of what you are typing before you do so.
        Thank-you, and I hope you have a great day.
    • ssn697, on 06/24/2008, -2/+43Why not? There are a ton of Jesus running around...
    • bxblox, on 06/24/2008, -1/+7http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_Shammgod
    • scubaman5000, on 06/24/2008, -10/+49I'm going to name my kid Zeus.

      Greek Mythology > All other religions
      • Daggity, on 06/24/2008, -5/+37I'm going to name mine Sheogorath.

        Elder Scrolls Mythology > Greek Mythology
        • RyomaNagare, on 06/24/2008, -3/+33You are all on Digg, you'll never have kids.
          stop fooling yourselves.
        • ValShecht, on 06/25/2008, -2/+1I'm gonna call mine Moses
          Old testimony > *
      • duster, on 06/24/2008, -1/+35All the other kids will think his name is Jesus when you yell "Hey Zeus" at him
      • saranagati, on 06/24/2008, -1/+14I know a black guy named zeus and another black guy named thor. (only reason i mentioned that they're black is because i think its funny that the only 2 people i know with mythological gods as names happen to be black).
      • obsolite, on 06/24/2008, -2/+5Just for your information, Norse mythology is infinitely better.
      • tacofarts, on 06/24/2008, -0/+5I'm going to name my son Cthulhu, just to confuse people.
        • Monty7, on 06/25/2008, -0/+0I Live in South Africa and have a friend named "Nhlanlha"
      • mithrasinvictus, on 06/25/2008, -1/+1Sumerian mythology > Greek mythology
    • megamod, on 06/25/2008, -0/+1it must be some good GOD...great *****!
    • Archer007, on 06/25/2008, -0/+2Some Chinese couple tried to name their kid @, which means "love him" when translated into Chinese.
    • dudefaceguyman, on 06/25/2008, -4/+10I've been planning to name my kid this or change MY name to:

      First name: Lord
      Middle Name: Jesus
      Last Name: Christ

      ...I'm not kidding. I'm really not, one reason why this story attracted me so much. I first thought of how freakin awesome it would be to change my name to L.J.C. when I was a kid being forced to go to church with all those assholes gathering together every sunday.

      I'd change my name to this, go to church. Show them my name certificate thing and threaten them to worship me otherwise they'd burn in hell. Eventually converting half of the worlds population to worship me as the second coming of Jesus.

      It would be ***** awesome and yes I was a twisted child.
      • Risingashes, on 06/25/2008, -5/+2I don't think that's how it works.

        Religious people aren't stupid, only ignorant.
      • FatO, on 06/25/2008, -0/+1It's my last name. My first is Sex.
  • darklight1999, on 06/24/2008, -12/+3Haha, thats funny.
  • mastazed, on 06/24/2008, -13/+58this proves it George Carlin wrong God does exist.
  • 11Christine, on 06/24/2008, -5/+117Who the hell would name their son "God"?
    • m0zzie, on 06/24/2008, -4/+45i.. i see what you did there?
    • FeartheKnighted, on 06/24/2008, -2/+19Probably friends of Mr. and Mrs. Morgan, who named their son "Yourhighness". Yes, his name is Yourghighness Morgan.

      http://floridastate.rivals.com/viewprospect.asp?pr ...

      Also, I heard of a child being named Wachovia because "it's the closest to money he will ever get". Maybe the parents thought similarly for God.
      • punx, on 06/24/2008, -1/+9Holy crap, I thought you were kidding. It would be a cold day in hell I would ever address someone as Yourhighness. These parents needed to put down the pipe.
      • coolian, on 06/24/2008, -2/+5Almost sounds like Your Anus
      • southwo9, on 06/24/2008, -0/+7there was a player for Michigan State named SirDarean Adams, because his mom said he would get respect. No link though, too lazy.
    • acitcratnA, on 06/24/2008, -1/+9Yeah, what if God was a girl? Then that means he has a girls name!
      • itspuddingtime, on 06/24/2008, -0/+3yeah, well Jayne ain't a girl. I got man parts
    • greeniemeani, on 06/25/2008, -1/+18Black people?
    • GDOG5, on 06/25/2008, -0/+1me
    • ManicMyna, on 06/25/2008, -1/+1well it seems everyone with a penchant for wrapping checked tea towels round their noggin can get away with it, yet manage to go ape ***** over a teddy
    • TheSum, on 06/25/2008, -1/+2Ahh Margret of course.

      (the Margret from "are you there god it is me margret")
    • aeoo, on 06/25/2008, -0/+1This family should move to Saudi Arabia and try naming their son Allah and see what happens next.
  • aflaks, on 06/24/2008, -10/+3god DAMNET!
  • SugeKnight, on 06/24/2008, -8/+60Cocaine is a hell of a drug!!!
  • DeskFlyer, on 06/24/2008, -4/+87See, it's NOT Joe Pesci.
    • BeeArePro, on 06/24/2008, -34/+1Oh it's funny because were supposed to know who Joe Pesci is because we just saw Carlin's video on youtube about religion, right?
  • JDenigma, on 06/24/2008, -4/+50Now if only his last name was... Damn
    • vickers500, on 06/25/2008, -2/+9˙ʇı ǝǝs ı 'ǝɹǝɥʇ pıp noʎ ʇɐɥʍ
      • Archer007, on 06/25/2008, -0/+3He's not looking from the other side of his comment.
  • HeatherH88, on 06/24/2008, -8/+3I'd like to buuuy my God some coke, and chill with him a whiiiiiiile...
  • BeeArePro, on 06/24/2008, -6/+162God is one scary looking *****.
  • ssn697, on 06/24/2008, -8/+3"God Lucky Howard". No, I say he didn't Gid Lucky at all...
  • cary1000, on 06/24/2008, -7/+0Ho ho!
  • fluidfoundation, on 06/24/2008, -6/+14I bet you he'll get off for good behavior.
    • CCoe, on 06/24/2008, -2/+5God? Good behaviour? I highly doubt it.
  • punko79, on 06/24/2008, -6/+1nicely done God Lucky Howard, nicely done
  • JDenigma, on 06/24/2008, -6/+22Oh yeah, he would be your God......if he came across you in prison. He'd have you get down on your knees and do some worshiping down below.
    • jo21, on 06/25/2008, -0/+6if we were in prison, i would protect you from god, in the showers.
  • astrobela, on 06/24/2008, -9/+1http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Burger_1_bg_080 ...
    • RomanThommassen, on 06/24/2008, -0/+5hamburger, god, connection?????????
  • etherreal, on 06/24/2008, -14/+21WTF is next? How about putting him on trial for crimes against humanity?
  • PolishLogic, on 06/24/2008, -3/+8Speaking of gods, whatever happened to God Shammgod anyhow?
  • duggtodeath, on 06/24/2008, -6/+5Why can't he sell it? He made the God-damn plant!
  • poogy21, on 06/24/2008, -6/+11So God is going to Hell? How ironic!
  • NightOwl4, on 06/24/2008, -4/+8If that's God, I wonder what Mary looks like....
  • Pillage, on 06/24/2008, -7/+75Huh, God is black.
    • psion01, on 06/24/2008, -3/+37Huh? What's wrong with you? That dude's clearly Chinese.
    • toowired77, on 06/25/2008, -2/+1And so was Adam.
  • anewname, on 06/24/2008, -7/+7He's the namesake of St. God's Hospital (across from the new Butt ***** Family Restaurant) in Idiocracy.
  • l0k0, on 06/24/2008, -7/+3Why would you ever name your son God?
    • TheLoneHoot, on 06/24/2008, -0/+4Because you always wanted a grandson named Jesus, without him having to have a major league baseball contract?
    • TimeSpaceMotion, on 06/24/2008, -3/+2Because the Mexicans took the name Jesus...
  • allseeingalmond, on 06/24/2008, -7/+13Where is your God now?
  • mixomatosys, on 06/24/2008, -10/+5i kept telling you guys god was black but no one listened. who's laughing now huh
  • beauTL, on 06/24/2008, -7/+2I said this in the last comment I posted on Digg, but these comments are horrible.
  • phyx726, on 06/24/2008, -9/+4omfg
  • gfxlonghorn, on 06/24/2008, -6/+8I wonder if he can get a mistrial for not having a separation between church and state.
    • trippinlikegod, on 06/24/2008, -2/+1No but he can probably get one on the grounds that bail was set far too high.
  • destron, on 06/24/2008, -8/+2Even as a Christian this makes me laugh.
    • mhender, on 06/24/2008, -0/+7As opposed to ...being offended and having a hissy fit?
      • cJw314, on 06/25/2008, -0/+1Nah; the story's not offensive... but some of these comments are.

        ...and that's what the 'digg down' and 'hide' buttons are for. : )
    • alpharaptor, on 06/24/2008, -0/+1really, if you look harder you might laugh more, but then you wouldn't be christian afterwards
  • XedLos, on 06/24/2008, -11/+6Dam God is ***** ugly
  • chambana, on 06/24/2008, -6/+1well I mean besides fire and jesus, he hasn't given us much lately, kudos to this new cocaine
  • sylvok, on 06/24/2008, -10/+5Jesus Christ is black, here is the proof
  • BrandNewAtheist, on 06/24/2008, -7/+1God's not perfect, paint me surprised.
  • m0zzie, on 06/24/2008, -14/+91............................................________
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    ................./......................................................,:`^`..}
    .............../...................................................,:"........./
    ..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../
    ............./__.(....."~-,_..............................,:`........../
    .........../(_...."~,_........"~,_....................,:`........_/
    ..........{.._$;_......"=,_......."-,_.......,.-~-,},.~";/....}
    ...........((.....*~_......."=-._......";,,./`..../"............../
    ...,,,___.`~,......"~.,....................`.....}............../
    ............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-"
    ............/.`~,......`-...................................../
    .............`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....,__
    ,,_..........}.>-._...................................|..............`=~-,
    .....`=~-,__......`,.................................
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    .....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==``
    ........................................_..........._,-%.......`
    ...................................,
  • icemanex, on 06/24/2008, -6/+1I seriously thought the police blamed god for something and put out an arrest warrant for him.
    I've seen much dumber ***** from the police force though
  • durru7, on 06/24/2008, -6/+20"What if God was one of us, just a slob like one of us."
    • MadHarvey, on 06/25/2008, -1/+8'"Just a stranger on the bus, trying to sell you cocaine"
  • dougerdo, on 06/24/2008, -8/+3Is this a god damn?
  • VdgX, on 06/24/2008, -3/+156Our God, who art in prison, Howard be thy name.
    • trippinlikegod, on 06/24/2008, -3/+54Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, sell cocaine on the streets of Harlem.
    • jgzman, on 06/24/2008, -2/+17This comment needs more diggs.
    • nationalist, on 06/25/2008, -11/+3old english ftw

      Fǣðer ūre þū þe eart on heofonum
      sī þīn nāma gehālgod
  • duke1981, on 06/24/2008, -6/+1http://www.timecube.com/
  • AlienMushroom, on 06/24/2008, -7/+3His last name wasn't God, so he was not the real God.
  • bassman12593, on 06/24/2008, -3/+7"God Lucky Howard"

    Not so God Lucky now are we?
  • mhender, on 06/24/2008, -3/+90Here's a comment that doesn't have a pun.
    Enjoy it.
  • shyampoo, on 06/24/2008, -1/+6Why is it that this sort of stuff always happens in Tampa and comes on our local news.
    TV and the Internets should not be connected!
  • jetblackz4, on 06/24/2008, -5/+24In God we trust ?
  • trippinlikegod, on 06/24/2008, -6/+3I thought we had an amendment that kept the government from imposing what would be considered "inappropriate bail" levels. I'm pretty sure charging a cocaine dealer $86,500 bail is a little on the steep side. In my opinion (and the opinion of many police, lawyers, etc) $1 more than a person can afford is considered inappropriate for bail.
    • dstachio, on 06/24/2008, -0/+5You are obviously missing the big picture of the article. The guy's name is God.
      • ChildeRoland420, on 06/25/2008, -0/+4And who has more money than him?
        • kr3mliyn, on 06/25/2008, -0/+2Jesus? He sold ***** of those crosses.
    • ChildeRoland420, on 06/25/2008, -0/+1I was always under the impression that cocaine dealers made a lot of money, so what's so inappropriate about requiring a lot of bail from one?
      • Risingashes, on 06/25/2008, -0/+2Wouldn't that imply that the person was guilty before the trial began? Unless he has been found guilty of being a drug dealer prior to the trial- or he has declared a high income without a stated source.
  • NeloAngelo31, on 06/24/2008, -0/+3There must be a recession and high gas prices in heaven, too. I wouldn't expect God to do something like working at Burger King for extra cash. This is a much better part-time job choice.
  • wex98x, on 06/24/2008, -2/+2His name is an oxymoron.
  • icndvl, on 06/24/2008, -1/+3He's so ***** if its a Jury trial.
    • majestichazard, on 06/25/2008, -0/+5I dunno, I'd think everyone would want to get on God's good side.
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