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What If You Only 'Thought' You Were Gay?
men.style.com — For some men, the trouble starts when they realize they're actually straight.....
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- sethisastud, on 08/06/2008, -0/+9This is what my family used to hope for...but now they know, I'm a Mary.
- talk2spirit, on 08/06/2008, -0/+4Just goes to show that our sexual orientation isn't always as simple to define as we'd like to think. I guess instead of asking someone if they're gay, straight, etc., we'll have to start asking, "Have you ever THOUGHT you were..." or "Have you ever experimented with the same/opposite sex?"
- lydecker, on 08/06/2008, -2/+11Some people only think they're straight, some people only think they're gay.
Everybody is only attracted to people, and people shouldn't be afraid of any attraction they feel. Good for these guys, go for a relationships where the person works for you.- somnambulator, on 08/07/2008, -1/+5A long time ago in my more colourful past, a gay friend ended up in bed with a lesbian friend, after a night of heavy drinking and not 'pulling'. To their amazement they really enjoyed it, perhaps not as much as their usual preference, but enough to surprise them.
I personally was astounded that they hadn't tried straight sex before, but they reluctantly agreed that their sexual orientation wasn't black and white, and that a lot of their identity was a cultural thing. They identified with the gay community they lived in, and had to 'conform' to it as much as straight people conform to their own communities.
@lydecker I couldn't agree more, attraction is about people, not gender. Emotional attraction and sexual attraction can be completely different.
I think everyone has had a 'gender irrelevant' crush at some time or other. As adults we have heroes, the grown up version.
- somnambulator, on 08/07/2008, -1/+5A long time ago in my more colourful past, a gay friend ended up in bed with a lesbian friend, after a night of heavy drinking and not 'pulling'. To their amazement they really enjoyed it, perhaps not as much as their usual preference, but enough to surprise them.
- wishninja, on 08/06/2008, -1/+6FTA "It just didn't fit," he says.
lol - icexe, on 08/07/2008, -0/+3We had a name for girls like that back in college - LUGs - Lesbian Until Graduation. It usually happened after a night fueled by curiosity and alcohol which led them to experiment with another girl. It also didn't help that they viewed most college guys as jackasses and that being seen as a hot lesbian was considered the "hip" thing at the time. Many of them thought that because they weren't attracted to the guys around them and maybe sorta had a good time sleeping with another girl, that meant they were really a lesbian.
After graduation, not a single one of them remained that way. Most of them are now happily married to men and have kids. They look back at the college years as simply a time they experimented, none of them feel attracted to girls anymore.
Just my $0.02- Evilena, on 08/07/2008, -1/+3I have a name for religious girls that lie to themselves about only making out with girls for their boyfriends. I call them double agents.
Lesbian Until Graduation is fine with me though, I live near the University of Miami and there are always incoming freshmen to replace the graduates. - ieee, on 08/07/2008, -0/+1@icexe;
I always find it wild that when I have an experience that I think is mostly unique to my life only to discover other people had it too. I had an experience like you "LUG post"
When I was in college I worked in a student run organization with a lot of intelligent, highly political, and alternative type people. That group included many lesbians, a few bi people, and fewer gays.
About 2 years ago we had a reunion. I had not heard from many of these people for over 10 years.
Friends I had who were MILITANTLY gay or lesbian and very anti-establishment had gotten very respectable graduate degrees, had bought home ( or were working on it ), were married and working on starting a family.
Since they were good friends and since I was so shocked I asked them about the switch. These ex-super radical friends of mine just got smiles of embarrassment and said exactly what you wrote.......that they were young and experimenting.
As far as some of the extreme ideas they promoted back then( aside from sexuality ....just political stuff ) I'm very happy I stuck to my guns back then, even though we got into many arguments. They not only came to the middle on the spectrum for those ideas they went off to the other end.
There are many criteria for being a good friend, one I decided to add is that a friend lets you change, without kidding you ( too much ) about how you used to believe in the exact opposite of what you believe now :)
Some of them have moved to my area since then. I still haven't gotten used to seeing them with husbands and wives
- Evilena, on 08/07/2008, -1/+3I have a name for religious girls that lie to themselves about only making out with girls for their boyfriends. I call them double agents.
- solesoul, on 08/07/2008, -2/+5I'm not even trying to bash these guys, but how confused does a straight man have to be to spend YEARS of his life thinking that he needs to have another man's penis inside of him?
I don't think these guys are straight at all, I think they're bi. And if they are in fact, completely straight, they are the most confused men on Earth. - Evilena, on 08/07/2008, -1/+3I know lots of bisexual women that call themselves straight or lesbian depending on who they are in a relationship with at the time. They are still bisexual.
- ieee, on 08/07/2008, -0/+0I've noticed that to be particularly true with bisexual women friends I have had. The bisexual men friends I have had otoh told me that they lie about being gay or straight depending on who they are with as many people in both groups don't like people who go both ways for various reasons.
- Evilena, on 08/07/2008, -1/+5I also think that a lot of these "its a choice" christians are bi and choosing to be straight. From their point of view, everyone is bi and needs to reject sinful thoughts.
- ieee, on 08/07/2008, -0/+0That would explain republican Senator Larry Craig and that Evanglist Charismatic Christian preacher with a male lover.
When I was in college I worked with a lot of over politicized lesbians. I always found it interesting that just about the only people I wold meet who would insist homosexuality is a choice and who get _angry_ at the suggestion it was congenital were these politicized lesbians and fundamentalist Christians.
The Lesbians felt, in part, that if they were born that way then it could be seen as a defect to be treated rather then as a legitimate lifestyle that was chosen for.
That is like saying being born with red hair is a defect.
- ieee, on 08/07/2008, -0/+0That would explain republican Senator Larry Craig and that Evanglist Charismatic Christian preacher with a male lover.
- ninjarabbits, on 08/07/2008, -1/+0Tobias Fünke: Oh here, here. In the dark, it all looks the same.
- bubashelili, on 08/07/2008, -3/+0I've seen a dude that kisses another dude passionately.
They both were straight.
They sometimes have bum sex.- talk2spirit, on 08/07/2008, -0/+0If two men are having anal sex together, then they're engaging in ***** (i.e. "same sex") sexual activity. Unless we're going to start arguing, "I am not my behavior," then that makes them gay...at least for now.
- burchie2, on 08/07/2008, -0/+0As a straight (*****, maybe I just think I'm straight?) male, I can not possibly understand one day being like "Damn, gay guys want to have sex with me, I'm gonna start chasing some *****" to "Yeah, I used suck a little dick here and there, just to hook up, you know..."
I may not be sensitive or whatever, but is it just me??? i don't get that.- lydecker, on 08/07/2008, -0/+1It's generally not a body part that people fall in love with or get a crush on.
- NaziHatinChimp, on 08/07/2008, -1/+2Bisexual, mystery solved, saved you the time.
- gobbstopp, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1my thoughts approximately
- allisonaxe, on 08/07/2008, -0/+3the problem is that people have to "label" their sexuality in order to fit into a society-assigned box. sexuality exists beyond gay/straight/whatever. people can be attracted to people, doesn't matter their orientation. I'm not really drawn more to men or women, but rather, it depends on the individual, who they are, what they have to offer. I identify as bisexual, because I don't think anyone else is using the word that I prefer to identify with: humansexual. I can be attracted to potentially anyone, and the reason for feeling that way is different between each individual.
- talk2spirit, on 08/07/2008, -0/+2Your response is similar to Kinsey's theory that most people are neither 100% ***** nor heterosexual, but that sexuality operates on a spectrum and most folks fall somewhere in between. Humansexual...interesting phrase. Eventually, it'll probably get thrown into the mix as a more "politically correct" term. :^)
- talk2spirit, on 08/07/2008, -1/+1Your response is similar to Kinsey's theory that most people are neither 100% ***** nor heterosexual, but that sexuality operates on a spectrum and most folks fall somewhere in between. Humansexual...interesting phrase. Eventually, it'll probably get thrown into the mix as a more "politically correct" term. :^)
- girlasaurusrex, on 08/07/2008, -0/+5At least two of the subjects in the article (Dan and Ethan) both mention they received more attention and interest from gay men than from straight women. Their ***** tendencies may then have been due to the want for that kind of sexual attention and affection rather than truly desiring to be involved romantically with another man. Hence: not gay, just lonely.
- Hetman, on 08/07/2008, -2/+4Umm. What so the guys in this article are actually bisexual. Anyways if you look at a penis and your penis gets hard you probably are gay or at least bisexual. I am not saying you cannot admire the male body. I am just saying what turns you on has nothing to do with choice.
- futureisours, on 08/07/2008, -3/+1it's only because women ignored him at single's bars while the gays went crazy when he was around. as usual, it's females' fault.
- futureisours, on 08/07/2008, -3/+1it's only because women ignored him at single's bars while the gays went crazy when he was around. as usual, it's females' fault.
- RANDOM667, on 08/07/2008, -0/+1I agree that most people are probably bi and in denial.
My wife probably would have ended up with another woman if I had not come along and swept her off her feet.
I know she is attracted to some women, she had never even had a boyfriend before me, I believe that is because most guys are jerks, especially around here, there is pretty much nothing but ignorant rednecks.- actionscripted, on 08/07/2008, -1/+3So you're from America?
- RANDOM667, on 08/07/2008, -0/+1haha
:)
- RANDOM667, on 08/07/2008, -0/+1haha
- actionscripted, on 08/07/2008, -1/+3So you're from America?
- ssfwestlife, on 08/07/2008, -1/+1So straight men aren't gay... imagine that.
- BXRWXR, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1If you have a penis in your mouth or your anus, there is pretty much no thinking about it.*
/*Unless you're in prison. And even that's iffy./
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