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Zero Punctuation: Ninja Gaiden 2 watch!

escapistmagazine.com — This week, Yahtzee unravels the mystery of the Ninja. Well, at least the mystery of Ninja Gaiden 2.

Bury
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  • ChokingVictims, on 08/06/2008, -103/+52ARRRRR!
    Digg me up for pirates, down for ninjas.
    • t2t2, on 08/06/2008, -36/+5Hmm...
      Digg me up for Jeff Gerstmann, down for Yahtzee
      • rolandvvv, on 08/06/2008, -0/+3I can't like both? I'll bury you and then digg you.
      • LeonHRodriguez, on 08/06/2008, -0/+0Or do neither!
    • BoonTobias, on 08/06/2008, -11/+2pirates are too slow
    • feshmania, on 08/06/2008, -9/+43digg up for titties, digg down for dongs.
      • iDiggIt42, on 08/06/2008, -2/+8The fact that this has been dugg down four times concerns me greatly.
      • Matt2k, on 08/07/2008, -0/+8> The fact that this has been dugg down four times concerns me greatly.

        Why? I assume there's girls who like *****. This encourages me greatly.
    • panickedthumb, on 08/06/2008, -6/+40How bout I just digg you down for being lame?
    • Myonosken, on 08/06/2008, -14/+1*****
    • 000dom000, on 08/06/2008, -1/+6Maybe nobody understood that after he credits Yahtzee did actually say that pirates were better.
    • da_bradler, on 08/06/2008, -3/+4I want to digg you down for your stupid comment yet I hate ninjas... I'm so conflicted.
      • jasongbc, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1How could someone hate ninjas? Ninjas are all kinds of awesome. They'd slash a pirate to bits before he could say ARRRRRRRRR
    • bagboyrebel, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1I think most people tuned out after Yahtzee stopped speaking
    • djbon2112, on 08/06/2008, -0/+3Ninja > *
  • Elliottx, on 08/06/2008, -36/+13Ba Dum Tish.
  • Cubedude04, on 08/06/2008, -11/+201Dugg for the submitter not being a douchebag like the one last week was.
    • mycartel, on 08/06/2008, -65/+38lol ty
      • shakbhaji, on 08/06/2008, -10/+53digg revoked
      • Hollow5, on 08/06/2008, -1/+32I would never understand digg
      • j0etb, on 08/06/2008, -3/+28I like (or have objectively observed) that it is impossible to express ones' self on this site and not be harangued for it.

        How dare mycartel appreciate the positive response to his comment, even if he did only use five letters to express it!

        *Stomp stomp* I hear impending burys coming my way...
      • Hollow5, on 08/07/2008, -0/+0my point exactly
  • jonosss, on 08/06/2008, -8/+174Dugg for Zelda applesauce
    • MrKiTT3N, on 08/06/2008, -4/+5Yah! (sticks with wooden sword)
    • Yousty, on 08/06/2008, -3/+16Even better was his impersonation of Link saying "Yah"
    • fanblade, on 08/06/2008, -0/+5Dugg for EA whipping the poor developer. haha
    • wejmahtin, on 08/07/2008, -0/+1I used to host Cliffy B's cat-scan.com website ages ago. He completely disappeared and I was thinking he was dead, but I guess not. That's him in the beginning holding the big chain-saw gun thing. Dugg for finding out one's homey is alive.
      • Muncher, on 08/07/2008, -0/+2Erm, he didn’t exactly go into hiding.
  • marshpuck, on 08/06/2008, -19/+3still not digging the music but meh it is what it is.

    Good work as usual.
    • Oddish, on 08/06/2008, -0/+3Yes the music, that's the important part...
  • kobiecker, on 08/06/2008, -11/+2Suggestive tone of voice is never optional... it's required
  • CollapseControl, on 08/06/2008, -10/+116Why....All » Gaming » PlayStation

    Isn't this a 360 exclusive?
    • mycartel, on 08/06/2008, -4/+35yea i clicked on the wrong one. is there a way to change it?
      • BoonTobias, on 08/06/2008, -5/+95no, just go with your heart
      • TSSaloic, on 08/06/2008, -27/+1Click the other button twice. Once to cancel ant again to re-vote.
      • nickert0n, on 08/06/2008, -17/+4@BoonTobias - HAHAHAHA Thank you, its comments like those, those witty didnt see them comming comments that make me laugh out loud and make my hellish cubicle pit seem a bit less *****.

        No Sarcasim, Thank you lol
      • exomni, on 08/06/2008, -11/+2A way to change it? No, I'm pretty sure it's going to stay a 360 exclusive. But who knows, NG1 was ported eventually. PS4 anyone?
    • mywhitenoise, on 08/06/2008, -13/+5CollapseControl, your voice is extremely dorky. I laughed my ass off when you sent me that message over XBL.
      • CollapseControl, on 08/06/2008, -11/+1lol, it was 3am and I had no idea what was going on. You sent the FR while I was playing a backwards compatible game and it was strange the way it was listed.
    • Aadain, on 08/06/2008, -9/+2It'll be an XBox360 exclusive just like the previous ones.... oh wait, no there weren't. Just wait a year and they'll release it, again, and again, for different systems like they have with their previous versions.
  • Slashered, on 08/06/2008, -18/+1Thunder! Thunder! Thunder! Thundercats, Ho!
    • feshmania, on 08/06/2008, -1/+3um...witty comment implying you're making no sense and, thus, homosexual
  • silver26, on 08/06/2008, -42/+316I miss the old random intro music :(
    • FFXIfrohike, on 08/06/2008, -25/+83Why is it that someone always makes a point to pine over the old intro? Are we done doing this yet? It's not coming back.
      • silver26, on 08/06/2008, -5/+40It will go on forever.
      • da_bradler, on 08/06/2008, -5/+25I just fundamentally disagree with the metal hard rock choice, makes it feel to much like some thing you would see on x-play where they are trying to be all EXTReME. I'd rather a nice melody that contrasts the vulgerness to follow.

        Meh hopefully he changes it up eventually
      • Rupes, on 08/06/2008, -2/+1he changed it once, he'll prolly do it again
      • saisumimen, on 08/07/2008, -0/+5I don't think so. To anyone who has been paying attention, you would have noticed that the music change came along with a "revamping" of the site itself.

        You may have also noticed that as Yahtzee's popularity grew, they've tried to get other people interested in "The Escapist's" other content by riding on his coattails. They've added adverts after his reviews and notice how before only Yahtzee's reviews were available for viewing, but now there's a "More Videos on The Escapist" DIRECTLY underneath them.

        The conclusion: this is the way things are going to be from now on, unfortunately. Get used to it.
    • renegadeafk, on 08/06/2008, -12/+7seriously, who gives a *****? It's not like you watch the review for30 seconds of intro music.
      • silver26, on 08/06/2008, -2/+10"Who gives a *****?" - you must be new to the internet.
    • shakbhaji, on 08/06/2008, -12/+9The new one's growing on me. (I think there's a cream for that...)
    • davidaod, on 08/06/2008, -8/+6Oh whatever, who gives a *****.
    • kravex, on 08/06/2008, -2/+33They weren't random, the had a connection of sorts to the review
      • DubiousDrewski, on 08/06/2008, -0/+7Which is why they were great.

        Oh well, we'll just have to accept.
    • eyefork2, on 08/06/2008, -9/+1This guy isn't even ***** funny anyways.
    • mbraynard, on 08/07/2008, -2/+1It wasn't 'random', it was relevant to the topic discussed.

      /tired of ***** douchebags using 'random' for things that aren't.
      // IE - Your musical tastes aren't 'random,' you just have no taste.
      • ScionX, on 08/07/2008, -0/+1//tired of ***** douchebags that repeat the exact same thing that someone stated 2 comments above them hours ago.
  • hinmanj, on 08/06/2008, -30/+8Dugg for... well, why wouldn't I ***** digg this? It's Yahtzee. Seems everyone else who starts with "Dugg for" gets dugg up anyway.

    And yes, those exploding shurikens are definitely a gigantic pain in the ass.
    • Filipp0, on 08/06/2008, -7/+6"Seems everyone else who starts with "Dugg for" gets dugg up anyway."

      I dugg you up... but then I buried you twice. (just out of spite)
  • mmalecki, on 08/06/2008, -20/+3gotta love Wednesdays...
  • Elliottx, on 08/06/2008, -24/+6Oh here we go then. I guess here comes the cavalry to collectively bury every ones comments while shouting on their mics in ventrilo "HOLY ***** UBERNINJACOCKBLOX415 JUST POSTED A COMMENT BURY HIM BURY HIM!!!"
    • MasterGrief, on 08/06/2008, -2/+2Sounds like you're just as rabid as the people you hate.
    • Myonosken, on 08/06/2008, -1/+3Ventrilo on Digg? Wtf are you smoking?
      • DforSpiD, on 08/07/2008, -0/+2Didn't you hear?
        The rest of us are talking on Ventrillo, thousands and thousands at the same time!
  • TSSaloic, on 08/06/2008, -12/+1Sadly after this episode hits the ninja net Yahtzee will be killed by ninjas, for liking pirates more..
  • NeiloMac, on 08/06/2008, -11/+1Dugg for ***** Takamatsu cameo. And the fact that it's Yahtzee.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/*****
  • AvangionQ, on 08/06/2008, -17/+7Another third person hack and slash game released before its ready with crappy camera angles, enemies able to hit you at range from off screen, video glitch bugs and unbalanced `magic` abilities ... annoying, and what's worse, I think I'll pass until next year for the game of the year edition ...
    • Odjn, on 08/06/2008, -3/+5Damn straight. And you forgot to add barely different from the prequel.
    • zarcu, on 08/06/2008, -3/+1I never really had any problems with the game (except). I played it through and once again for some more achievements. I played on path of the Warrior the first time.

      The glitches in the game I did face were really not that bad. The stupid twitching worm boss and the mini ones were the only broken things I saw in the game.
  • ellipsicon, on 08/06/2008, -10/+1Dugg for the watermelon landslide.
  • tumbler360, on 08/06/2008, -13/+1Hella Funny.

    HOOORAAAHHHH...poof. LOL.
  • InnerBlueAbyss, on 08/06/2008, -13/+1The finger out of the TV = New Forum Avatar!
  • jorichter, on 08/06/2008, -11/+0Dugg for Ninjas.
  • melonhedd, on 08/06/2008, -11/+4Don't care unless the review is for Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos
  • deaftly, on 08/06/2008, -12/+6Such a badass game.
  • leerayIG88, on 08/06/2008, -9/+1who's the final boss? A pirate?
  • dagnabbit, on 08/06/2008, -10/+4ba dum tish
  • CindyMindy, on 08/06/2008, -17/+0CAREFUL, BRO. UR GETTIN REAL CLOSE TO BREAKIN RULEZ 1 &2!
  • BIGRed1022, on 08/06/2008, -11/+1YES WE AM!!
  • preppypoof, on 08/06/2008, -5/+33i was disappointed when I saw the 5 minute runtime but then pleasantly surprised when I saw that there was a lot less filler at the end this week
  • petebot, on 08/06/2008, -4/+101So....does he like it or what?
    • CyclonusRIP, on 08/06/2008, -9/+2I think he says it sucks, but wishes someone would make a decent game that took more than 2 seconds to figure out how to beat every situation they put you in.
    • supaklaw, on 08/06/2008, -1/+15He only likes Portal. All other games are fat epileptics masturbating on beds wrapped in some form of cartoon sheets.

      He only liked the fact it didn't waste his time with cutscenes or "tourist mode" linear game play... that it was all about the hack n slash. But didn't do it that well and pandered to the audience and was a sequel and didn't try too hard so... no. He didn't.
      • Enigmocracy, on 08/07/2008, -1/+4To be fair, there are games he has said he enjoyed (WoW, Galaxy, GTA4, etc), he just focuses very heavily on the negative parts, because that's really what's important.
      • Scaryclouds, on 08/07/2008, -0/+2I believe he also liked CoD4
      • chokeaduck, on 08/07/2008, -0/+1He also liked that Egg Game, and Psychonauts. And old point and click adventures, which he writes (I mean, he enjoys old Sierra/LucasArts ones,and he also writes his own).
  • ThrstForKnwldge, on 08/06/2008, -12/+1*music* *talk fast* *music*
  • brstilson, on 08/06/2008, -11/+2Video is not playing for me. :(
    • oderdigg, on 08/06/2008, -1/+1It's slow since they moved to the new format with the lame music and annoying ads in the end.
  • macsox, on 08/06/2008, -11/+5Dugg for the other guy at the CIA also in the sexy outfit. Great stuff.
  • Alphonze, on 08/06/2008, -7/+1For awhile I thought that the commercial at the end was for Cloverfield 2.
  • Kenzan, on 08/06/2008, -14/+9Dugg because NG2 is awesome.
    • Kenzan, on 08/06/2008, -1/+6What? No one here likes Ninja Gaiden 2?
      Aw, C'mon! It's fun!
  • ControlcChris, on 08/06/2008, -5/+22This game is hard, even on easy.....
    • Sup3rSh3ep, on 08/06/2008, -5/+3this game is ruining my life, especially this 3rd runthru on mentor.
      • Frogee, on 08/07/2008, -0/+1I had some trouble in chapter 2 on mentor and I stopped playing for awhile :(

        That spider like thing that was the boss in chapter 1 was ***** tough, I can't imagine how hard the Volf chapter would be.
      • cjacks9, on 08/07/2008, -0/+0I wish it was ruining my life. I played to about halfway through the sewer in NY and went back to playing Halo online. After a few weeks, started NG2 over to get the feel of the fighting back, got back to NY, took a break for a day and the very next day...RROD. Frack!
    • xsquirrel378x, on 08/06/2008, -3/+6Ninja Gaiden DS is easy, even on hard....
      • cjacks9, on 08/07/2008, -0/+0I'm pretty much with you, except that I just get dumb when it comes time to kill The Last Dragon. That Alma wannabe was a disgrace to the name.
    • oc974, on 08/07/2008, -1/+4This easy is game, even on hard
    • backseatdog, on 08/07/2008, -0/+3This game even is, on easy hard.
    • devila2208, on 08/07/2008, -0/+2This hard is game, easy on even.
    • maveric101, on 08/07/2008, -0/+0this isn't working.
  • SemiSarcastic, on 08/06/2008, -8/+115I thought that...oh wait this is a zero punctuation thread! I can say whatever I want and no one will ever see it, so I guess it doesn't matter anyway.

    ahem...I'm the lord Jesus Christ, I think I'll get drunk and go beat up some midgets. I also think that the Matrix Revolutions and Terminator 3 were the best movies ever made.
    • SemiSarcastic, on 08/06/2008, -1/+14What? Oooooh *****!
    • lolmax, on 08/06/2008, -2/+46Even if I was a believer before, I'm definitely an atheist now after hearing Jesus' movie preferences
    • indochris609, on 08/06/2008, -11/+3I liked Matrix Revolutions.

      Please, digg me down now.
    • sirobino, on 08/06/2008, -4/+1way to rip off family guy!
      • NathanielJ, on 08/06/2008, -0/+3Well, sirobino, I just plain don't like black people.
  • mywhitenoise, on 08/06/2008, -11/+5This game has the worst camera angles I've ever experienced. The story is extremely cheesy (as expected), and the gameplay is repetitive. I played about 2/3 of the game then I lost interest.
    • theuncommonman, on 08/07/2008, -1/+0No, no you didn't. You're a spiteful PS3 owner who's mad he didn't get the game on his system. You watched the video and basically repeated what was said, hoping people would digg you up. They did not. The game is still fun despite it's flaws, and you would know that if you actually played it.
  • jkoby, on 08/06/2008, -22/+115Yatzee >XDKC
    • oderdigg, on 08/06/2008, -18/+11Anything > XKCD. (No, it's not XDKC)
    • SemiSarcastic, on 08/06/2008, -4/+30Oh! So close.
    • Crazymaniacc, on 08/06/2008, -2/+14Yahtzee
      • SomeOneBig, on 08/06/2008, -1/+11Why are you guys digging him down? I thought you like spelling nazis here on Digg...
    • moocow1452, on 08/06/2008, -3/+1Yeah, but Yahtzee
    • RandaII, on 08/06/2008, -12/+5***** this site. It was old then and its old now hell anything is better then this ***** *****. You people are so ***** stupid you only are a bunch of sheep. "I only like him because the others do" get your own ***** opinion this guy is a hack nothing more. Diggers really need to stop being so sheepish.
      • jasmus, on 08/06/2008, -0/+8Personally, I like him because he tells you (in a humorous manner) why the game is good / bad. He's not afraid to like a game despite it's flaws, or hate a game despite the overwhelming good reviews and media attention.

        In short, he's one of the few reviewers to "tell it like it is".
      • metrenome, on 08/06/2008, -1/+31 : resembling a sheep in meekness, stupidity, or timidity
        -www.m-w.com

        "You use that word, sheepish. I do not think it means what you think it means."
      • MrM4nager, on 08/07/2008, -0/+1@ Metrenome: Dugg for Princess Bride reference
      • Lyk4n, on 08/07/2008, -0/+1You must have hypertension..
    • BlueSkyfish, on 08/06/2008, -5/+8APOD > All
    • DubiousDrewski, on 08/06/2008, -3/+1Geez, man! You're Brandon Mylenek, aren't you.

      http://www.theonion.com/content/news/local_idiot_t ...
    • blackhydra, on 08/06/2008, -0/+7So.. the creator of Zero Punctuation is greater than a web comic?
    • jasmus, on 08/06/2008, -0/+7Wha? are they even comparable?

      Yahtzee > Seedless Watermelon

      there.
      • BlueSkyfish, on 08/07/2008, -0/+2Yes, the category is "Things people use Digg for instead of an RSS feed"
    • NathanielJ, on 08/06/2008, -0/+9Xtreme Donkey Kong Country?
    • Scaryclouds, on 08/07/2008, -1/+1Also known as XKCD. Buried.
  • frusciant231, on 08/06/2008, -6/+82best ending culmination sentence ever:

    "ultimately its the gaming equivalent of a fat epileptic kid hopping up and down on his thunder cats bedspread popping Ritalin with one stubby hand and shakily masturbating with the other"
    • NCg8r, on 08/06/2008, -2/+9That's ripped straight from the pages of "Confederacy of Dunces". Plagiarism!!!
      • da_bradler, on 08/06/2008, -0/+6This is an abortion of decency, he is molesting me with his words I say.
      • TheKarmaPolice, on 08/07/2008, -0/+1Oh Fortuna, please *continues to say things that make me hate him more than i did on the last page*
    • browwiw, on 08/06/2008, -0/+3How does he know I have a Thunder Cats bedspread?
    • rkiga, on 08/07/2008, -0/+0wanker's cramp. teeheehee
  • w0rMy, on 08/06/2008, -13/+1Best game reviews on the internet! You gotta watch his review of Crysis... classic!! LOL
    • Myonosken, on 08/06/2008, -1/+3LOL YEAH!!!!1 A+++
      • NathanielJ, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1Instead of office chair, package contained cougar. Would not buy again. A--
    • oderdigg, on 08/06/2008, -2/+1or even better,his review of Orange Box.
    • w0rMy, on 08/06/2008, -2/+0The Orange Box review was great too. That guy kills me. I want his job.
  • 1337Einstein, on 08/06/2008, -7/+10I decided to just pretend he was playing that rap song from Ninja Turtles 2 during the intro.
  • dansmeek, on 08/06/2008, -10/+4Now I'll put up with Yahtzee making fun of any and all games I like. And pretty much everything. Cuz he's Yahtzee. But his opinion that pirates are better than ninjas is just WRONG!
    • nickert0n, on 08/06/2008, -1/+4Dude its like comparin T v A.

      Really its about preference.
    • gincarnated, on 08/06/2008, -1/+4Wizards > both.
    • bagboyrebel, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1Sorry, but now we have Yahtzee on our side. Just one step closer to winning.
    • Vohu, on 08/06/2008, -0/+1History has proven pirates are scarier than ninjas. Ninjas are scarier in theory but it never panned out. Geishas have higher successful kill ratios than ninjas.
  • jorichter, on 08/06/2008, -12/+0These comments suck.
  • Tyrghast, on 08/06/2008, -12/+1Well that was disappointing. Probably his worst video to date.
  • Maverick0420, on 08/06/2008, -10/+2in before comment bury barrage begins
  • getbusyliving, on 08/06/2008, -12/+3LOL YATZEE LOL YESSSS FUNNY
  • dissurmom, on 08/06/2008, -5/+185Dugg for:

    KILL
    THEY
    ASS
  • bencefeher, on 08/06/2008, -9/+3私は可愛いですね！
    Since when did pretending to be Japanese make you cool?
  • Shadic, on 08/06/2008, -15/+10At least he chose the right side of Pirates Vs. Ninjas. The Flying Spaghetti Monster approves.
  • hotpuck6, on 08/06/2008, -3/+6Now, i have been watching the ZP videos since the beginning.... possibly every one.... and i have never quite figured out what those fat little demons are supposed to be. Seriously, whats the deal?
    • dungbeetle, on 08/06/2008, -3/+1They remind me of South Park demons.
    • cyrix, on 08/06/2008, -1/+5They're called imps.
    • forthex, on 08/06/2008, -1/+3They're a template that he's used for a while now to represent any enemy that you fight in game.
    • hotpuck6, on 08/08/2008, -0/+1...but why imps?
  • BigBoyBoobs, on 08/06/2008, -9/+1How does this compare to Devil May Cry 4? DMC3 and God of War never had bad camera angles yet NG1 and NG2 get great reviews.

    The game doesn't live up to the review scores?
  • Durrok, on 08/06/2008, -5/+29Since no one has mentioned it yet... does it seem like he talked a hell of a lot slower in this one or did I drink too much Monster today?
    • N0153T4NK, on 08/06/2008, -0/+32No you've slowed down time. It's like when fry drank 100 cups of coffee.
    • Sterango, on 08/06/2008, -1/+2i thought the exact same thing then i remembered i popped a caffeine and an ephedra pill an hour previously. Brain boost for the win.
    • AWBoy666, on 08/06/2008, -1/+4No,same speed. I actually feel like he's harder to understand these days :(
    • maveric101, on 08/07/2008, -0/+0no, same i think. i, on the other hand, was tired while watching this, so i had to keep rewinding it.
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