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Why Asking Her Out Is Terrifying
staff.newcastle.ac.uk — In a classic love story, there are two kinds of man. One is the man who has little difficulty in asking women out. The other kind of man is the shy one who has great difficulty in asking women out. The first man gets the girl early on, but doesn ’t truly love her, and the shy guy gets the girl in the end, and does truly love her.
Taromsn- 40 diggs
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- Seumas, on 10/12/2007, -14/+51) Who cares?
2) But to answer your question -- because he's a pussy.
Come on, if you're a guy you're used to rejection. So what's the big deal to ask a chick out?
Also, the "first man" and the first dozen or two dozen for that matter may not truly love her (says you) but at least they get her when she's hot, young and crazy. Mr. Shy (aka Poindexter) who sits in the IT room for a living room gets her when she's ready to stop having so much fun and needs someone to settle down with her and take care of her and her future kids.
Think of it this way. Do you want to be the first guy in or do you want to be the guy who dings the "1 billion served" sign on her golden arches? I always get a kick out of poindexters who think that they're the luckiest man in the world because the chick that has banged the rest of us in her teens and twenties suddenly is ready to SETTLE for poindexter later. Not because he's hot or sweet (that isn't what most girls are into) but because she wants to settle down and have a family and knows she can't keep going like she has been into her old age. So settling for poindexter is worth it in exchange for a guy who won't forget birthdays, will buy gifts, will never quit his job, will never cheat, etc.
Seriously, guys. Stop fooling yourselves. Mr. Sensitive.. *snicker*- grimfandango, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2keepin' it real :)
- billyboobs34, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1God damn you and your truth talk
I'm depressed now... again, thanks a lot.
I'm marking this [the article] as lame, hopefully I don't have to see it again...
- christuckeruf, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4Fear of women != Fear of sharp things
There is no evolutionary advantage to be scared of asking girls out. Most fears are learned anyway including being afraid "large stretches of open water." One could argue that fear itself is an evolutionary adaptation to avoid risky situations but anyway...
This all boils down to hypocritical thinking.
1) Girls like guys that are confident, funny, strong, etc.
2) Guys like girls that are attractive, etc.
Most Mr. Sensitives do not think there is anything wrong with their desire to want attractive women but criticize women for their desire to want confident men. For instance, most of these "nice" guys aren't complaining about how these jerks are getting all the "unattractive" woman. They're getting pissed off because that cute, shy redhead in their technical writing class is going out with some "player". Seriously, there is enough to go around.
The other big flaw is that nice guys think they are the better guys. The guy that gets the girl isn't always a bad guy and *gasp* is sometimes pretty nice. Also, if a girl doesn't like you then you really aren't meant for each other. Don't make spot judgments about someone's character just because you're jealous. Find the right girl for you. - HaltingPoint, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2This sounds like Ladder Theory.
As a former nice guy...so nice in fact that I was dumped in HS after two weeks for being "too nice"....I have come a long way. What it really comes down to is getting the balls to have your own opinions and not be scared about expressing them to a girl, even if *gasp* they differ from hers!
Girls don't want someone who agrees with whatever they say. That's what a parrot is for. When a girl is looking for a potential BF/*****, she is not looking for a parrot, she is looking for a man who will present a challenge.
Now, while I still don't have much "game" in terms of actually hooking up with lots of girls (not that I haven't had my share), I do have plenty of cute, intelligent girls who want to date me. I'm just getting over my next hurdle of not losing complete interest in them once I realize I can have them. Anybody got any tips on that one? Once the challenge is gone...my drive is gone.
Frankly, I blame pr0n.
But seriously guys, do some soul searching and get yourself to a place where you can be confident. A lot of times it requires you to do something about yourself to gain self-esteem. For example, my hairline started receding in college, and by junior year I could no longer spike my hair without looking dumb because my hairline was so lopsided. This in turn made me feel hideous and killed my social life and confidence. So what did I do? I took the plunge and buzzed my head, which is how I currently wear it.
Result? I get random girls in clubs and bars trying to rub my head, I get checked out CONSTANTLY and once I got some initial confidence from that, I was able to talk to hotter and hotter girls which made me realize "hey, these hot girls aren't as intimidating as I initially thought!" Of course, I'm still awkward about approaching girls in random places...just cuz I don't like being "that guy" that hits on her for the 50th time that day....but I have no problem chatting with hot girls I'm introduced to or meet.- obiwankenobi, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1There seems to be a lot of truth in what you say. It looks like some one here has gained knowledge from his good and bad decisions.
May the force be with you. - billyboobs34, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Did you just say "just cuz"
I stopped reading your BS post right there. - HaltingPoint, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1"Did you just say "just cuz" I stopped reading your BS post right there."
So....you read the entire post except the last sentence. Wow...way to stick it to me!
- obiwankenobi, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1There seems to be a lot of truth in what you say. It looks like some one here has gained knowledge from his good and bad decisions.
- JesseJ, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Maybe it is because:
a) Your a big wuss - djgump35, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Yeah like this happens so often, what happens is the guy/or girl, that asks such a trophy out, gets entrapped in some way. Like for instance a lack of protection, and a splendid accident, then the guy that has no problem asking her out, gets to think about whether he is in love with her, or what his odds are in being the father.
- Dano, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Sounds like HaltingPoint has read "The Game"
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