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John Stamos Announced As Bob Saget Roast Master

ccinsider.comedycentral.com — Breaking News! That's right folks, Uncle Jesse is going to be the Roast Master at the Roast of Bob Saget! This might very well ruin some childhoods!

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  • maxdembo, on 07/14/2008, -21/+33FEATURED ROASTER = ARTIE LANGE, SURPRISINGLY NOT DEAD AFTER APPEARING IN AFGHANISTAN!
    • geardosdotnet, on 07/15/2008, -2/+33This should be a good roast. Stamos is a pretty funny guy, Artie is a good roaster, and Bob Saget is a seriously funny (and dirty comic). If you only knew him from Full House or America's Funniest Home Videos, watch some of his stand-up (or especially his appearance in the documentary 'The Aristocrats').
      • innocentsinner, on 07/15/2008, -16/+4Bob Saget is just one of those people trying too hard to be edgy, much like Sarah Silverman or Carlos Mencia. He falls somewhere between those two on the funny-meter. (Because nothing is lower than Mencia)
      • geardosdotnet, on 07/15/2008, -4/+15and below that is Dane Cook. Dane Cook is like Carlos Mencia took a *****.
      • JettaMan, on 07/15/2008, -1/+7Dane Cook doesn't try to be edgy. He does try to be cool, however.
      • WiretapStudios, on 07/15/2008, -1/+16Bob Saget doesn't try to be funny...he is funny. He did dirty filthy stand-up before Full House and AFHV, so it's not like he's trying to counter his image (well maybe a little) but he is just going back to what he was doing to start with...I thought his most recent special was hilarious myself, especially the song about being gay with John Stamos.
      • PolishLogic, on 07/15/2008, -0/+12Carlos Mencia doesn't take *****, unless their from other comedians.

        Hacky joke-theif.
      • UNL1M1T3D, on 07/15/2008, -1/+3Dane Cook is played out and over rated.
    • PolishLogic, on 07/15/2008, -6/+2*unfortunately not dead.
    • Charlotte_Web, on 07/15/2008, -5/+10Remember when celebrity roasts used to be funny? Now they're just a string of obscenities and obscene gestures.
      • amoirae, on 07/15/2008, -1/+9***** off, you whiny whore.
      • bluezinc, on 07/15/2008, -4/+1Cry me a big ***** river, build a ***** bridge, and get the ***** over it, *****.
      • CarolJude, on 07/16/2008, -0/+1I'm with you, Charlotte. For the past few years the roasters seem to be the same 'usual suspects,' with little or no connection to the guest of honor. If Courteney Love and Carrot Top are at this one, I'm going to stop watching them.

        I think this one will be pretty funny, though. I think the obscenity quotient will be pretty high, though, given the guest (who is really ***** funny.)
    • behlib99, on 07/15/2008, -1/+2OMG CAPS!
    • crash331, on 07/15/2008, -0/+8Baba Booey!
    • MtheoryX, on 07/15/2008, -2/+3LOUD NOISES!!!!
    • aqualung, on 07/16/2008, -0/+2Manta plus yantra creates tantra
  • nattyb79, on 07/14/2008, -40/+13Probably the gayest roast master gig ever but OK.
    • anstice85, on 07/15/2008, -0/+5Why do you ruin everything?
    • Alegoo92, on 07/15/2008, -1/+2You obviously don't know the real comedy of Bob Saget.
    • BevansDesign, on 07/15/2008, -2/+1I just checked Wikipedia, and apparently neither Stamos nor Saget are gay. Please cite your sources.
      • tacojohn48, on 07/16/2008, -0/+1I just checked Wikipedia and both are gay. Please choose a better source to cite.
        I didn't really
        The problem with Wikipedia is that they prefer factual inaccuracies that are cited (especially if slanted the way they prefer) to actual facts which are not. I once heard Bob Cornuke (Biblical Archeologist) speak at an event and found an error in his Wikipedia page about something they claim he claims. Bob did not claim to have found the anchor's to the apostle Paul's boat, but claims that they had already been found by local people who didn't know what they potentially were. When I edited the Wikipedia page having just heard the story from the man's mouth I didn't have anything to cite and it got changed back because the original had a citation.
  • lindsay4767, on 07/15/2008, -13/+6http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/sag ...
  • j4nj1m3n3z, on 07/15/2008, -5/+21Awesome! I haven't heard a good gay joke in a while.
    • faceless323, on 07/15/2008, -2/+12There were 3 gay men and their partners all died at around the same time. On their way to the morgue, the guy who worked there asked them where they want to spread their partners ashes. The first gay guy says, "I want to spread his ashes over the ocean because he loved to swim!" The second gay guy says, "I want to spread his ashes on a mountain because he loved to climb." And then the third gay guy says, "I want to spread him all over my chili, and the guy who worked at the morgue asked, "WHY?" and he said," So he can tear my ass up one more time."
    • darthdusty, on 07/15/2008, -1/+7How can you make a gay man scream twice? ***** him real hard, then wipe your dick off on his curtains.
  • Borgcube636, on 07/15/2008, -8/+32BOB SAGET!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCNTOSXU2yc
  • DeadSkinMask, on 07/15/2008, -6/+123Bob Saget puts on a hilarious live show.
    One of the filthiest comedians out there...

    You would never think it after seeing his painfully unfunny material from Full House & AFHV.
    • AchaIemoipas, on 07/15/2008, -14/+5Yeah but honestly, most of the videos were *****. I mean what joke can you possibly be make about the ten thousandth fat woman who falls on her ass for X reason?

      It's like funniest animals on animal planet. If there's absolutely nothing else on, I'll watch it on mute. Half the videos are just random unfunny animal stuff, you can't possibly make it funny. "OH look, that cat's in a christmas tree! He's all up in there, doing nothing!"

      I don't think anyone could do a better job, really.

      And he does really kick ass as a stand-up.

      Bob Saget tells the aristocrats joke:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HW4mPZmKPM
    • mywhitenoise, on 07/15/2008, -24/+17He's not funny at all. The guy says "*****" every other word, and now that's considered funny because it's so far removed from his most notable role?
      The guy has no talent whatsoever, so he has to rely on curse words and jokes about pedophilia to stay afloat.
      • enclaved, on 07/15/2008, -2/+6***** babies, *****.

        condensed comedy at it's finest folks.
      • salomejones, on 07/15/2008, -7/+3Maybe comedy just isn't for you, friend.
      • phoenixshard, on 07/15/2008, -8/+8I'll have to agree with you on that one. Simple cussing isn't funny. I don't cussing at all, but Bob Saget is not funny in any shape, form, or fashion. Richard Pryor cussed a lot, he was funny. Carlin cussed a lot, but he was funny. Bob Saget cusses, but then he isn't funny, so all you hear is a bunch of cussing. I can get that on any HBO show where they realize hey I can say ***** without getting bleeped.

        Buried for spreading the word about one of the worst comedians I've ever seen.
      • Travelsonic, on 07/15/2008, -1/+1 salomejones: George Carlin. 'nuff said.
      • bluezinc, on 07/15/2008, -1/+1Ohhh, grandpa, when did you learn to use the internet?

        Swear words are fun.
    • admdrew, on 07/15/2008, -1/+20Yeah, he's pretty crude and funny, but the self-referential humor (most of his current stand-up deals with the irony of his coarseness, given the 'family-friendly' status he portrayed on TV) tends to get old. One of his best bits is the joke he told for The Aristocrats; I would enjoy him more if he continued to do stuff unrelated to Full House/AFHV.
      • AchaIemoipas, on 07/15/2008, -1/+1The stuff you see on tv is related to full house and AFHV.

        The guy's been touring comedy clubs for over ten years and it'll probably come up in his show, that is why we even know of his existence, it's usable. But it's not all he does.

        He tells stories most of the time, also sings songs:
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnPfB7cwqLg
    • wikk3d, on 07/15/2008, -12/+33He is a horrible standup comedian. He tries to put on this shock and awe routine and keeps saying, "You never thought the dad from Full House would be saying that, would you?". He is still trying to cash in on his Full House fame, and it's not working anymore.
      • jspegele, on 07/15/2008, -6/+18When was the last time Comedy Central roasted you? I think he's done OK for himself.
      • phoenixshard, on 07/15/2008, -4/+17Comedy Central did a roast of Pamela Anderson, when was she ever considered a comedian. Pardon me if I think Comedy Central doing a roast of anyone doesn't meet any requirements for being a good comedian.
      • foofightrs777, on 07/15/2008, -2/+8Flava Flav was also primarily known for his stand up act.
      • PolishLogic, on 07/15/2008, -0/+6Judging by his bank account, he's still cashing in just nicely off of his Full House fame.
      • bluezinc, on 07/15/2008, -1/+2***** you, Saget is awesome.
      • foofightrs777, on 07/16/2008, -1/+1I perfer Sagat, but Saget's pretty good too. Hey, did you hear that one about the tiger?
    • jd33, on 07/15/2008, -0/+12Bob Saget: Kimmy Gibbler? Ya, I ***** her.
      • UNL1M1T3D, on 07/15/2008, -0/+4I am glad somebody stuck something in her mouth, bitch was annoying.
    • fajitamelt, on 07/15/2008, -2/+4Painfully unfunny? Are you kidding me? Just because you think you're some macho adult doesn't mean Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos aren't funny.
      • UNL1M1T3D, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2Yeah he's better then the tool they had that replaced him. It actually hurts to watch the show now.
    • indochris609, on 07/15/2008, -2/+1I hate it when people talk about how dirty Bob Saget's standup is. It's one of those secret hidden facts that everyone knows. Example:

      Dude, did you hear that Daddy LongLeg spiders are actually the most poisonous spiders in the world? Their mouth is just too small to bite a human!

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pholcidae#Most_venomo ...

      Stupid.
    • Schlooza, on 07/16/2008, -1/+0There was a thread on a popular message board discussing things that people think are cool or interesting that are actually well known. This was voted number one. Congrats.
  • InfamousAtheist, on 07/15/2008, -10/+2Wow, John Stamos, who got left behind by cheesy 80s movies and an incredibly hot wife that most men dream of?

    I'll be sure to miss this one. I'm already shuddering.
  • MonsterChaOS, on 07/15/2008, -1/+79www.wwujd.com

    What Would Uncle Jessy Do?
    • Chebsi, on 07/15/2008, -1/+100Have mercy?
      • tbone8978, on 07/16/2008, -1/+2WOW! That is the greatest response I have ever seen. Thank you for making my day.
    • mlbwebdesign, on 07/15/2008, -1/+11I want to digg this 10 times
    • koft, on 07/15/2008, -3/+1He'd be upset because what's her name was becoming a woman and can't play foot ball anymore because her breasts hurt.
      • coyote1284, on 07/15/2008, -0/+3The middle daughter? Jodie Sweetin.
        /***** the Olsen Twins
    • rblancarte, on 07/15/2008, -3/+1Roast the fsck out of Bob Saget?
    • TaterSalad77, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1http://www.bobsagetisgod.com/
    • jeremyosborne81, on 07/16/2008, -0/+1Uncle Jesse would make some shine and have Bo and Luke drive it out of Hazzard County.

      Oh wait .... *****!
  • JohnnyMarr, on 07/15/2008, -1/+106Jesse is nothing without The Rippers.
  • TomT223, on 07/15/2008, -1/+9Wish it would be broadcast uncensored. You know they will cut out all the good stuff.
    • dirtyfrog, on 07/15/2008, -0/+8They replay them uncensored in the "after dark" time spot, or whatever its called. I have seen the flavor flav one played there. I think it starts at 1am or 2am.
    • Cerialthriller, on 07/15/2008, -0/+3and you can usually buy them on dvd for like $9 the next week
  • shulkman, on 07/15/2008, -0/+16Comedy Central roasts are a joke compared to the ones broadcast on Showtime. On Comedy Central it's too family friendly.
    • NoMoreMrQuick, on 07/15/2008, -1/+4I haven't seen the ones on Showtime, but the ones on The Howard Stern Show on Sirius are so wrong that they're right.
    • jbmcb, on 07/15/2008, -0/+10If you stay up *really* late, they play stuff uncensored. I was up at 4AM and they were playing a completely uncensored Chris Rock concert. A couple years ago they were playing Grosse Pointe Blank and at 10PM they stopped bleeping out most of the naughty words.
    • potisreallygood, on 07/15/2008, -0/+4"Comedy Central roasts are a joke"

      pun intended?
    • snapcase, on 07/15/2008, -1/+1The real joke is the Comedy Central Roasts themselves. They aren't Friars Club Roasts. They are being done just for the network ratings alone. This is the reason they roasted Pamela Anderson. (and the idiots gave $1mil to PETA...)

      They are Roasts for the sake of a Roast. They don't mean anything. God damn I wish Comedy Central would stop with the ***** programing.
    • BevansDesign, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1The Pamela Anderson roast was painful. Yeesh.

      I wish they'd get some new talent for these things. The same people show up to each one, and they all seem to have had their jokes written by committee. I don't think I can stand to hear another bad dick joke.
  • DuggDowner, on 07/15/2008, -1/+59No Dave Coulier?
    • DeadSkinMask, on 07/15/2008, -1/+15Dave Coulier Shaves his balls.
      (anyone who has seen Saget live will get this)
    • catch-22, on 07/15/2008, -0/+4Coulier roasting Saget would be interesting... Saget may be the filthiest stand-up comic, but Coulier went the complete opposite route. He started something called the CleanGuys of Comedy:

      http://www.bismarcktribune.com/articles/2008/02/20 ...
    • jinxplayer, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1Cut it out?
    • BevansDesign, on 07/15/2008, -0/+3Doesn't say he won't be there. Or that he will. As of yet, this project is Dave-neutral.
  • bwjacket, on 07/15/2008, -3/+70Cut It Out.
    • lupicite, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1Kind of off topic, but I do wish "Out Of Control" was available on DVD.
  • mlbwebdesign, on 07/15/2008, -10/+5My dog licked my balls! FTW!
    • mlbwebdesign, on 07/15/2008, -1/+1Obviously I'm being buried because the diggnation hasn't seen Bob Sagat perform live.
  • DeviateSeptum, on 07/15/2008, -13/+6I don't understand roasts. I wouldn't want to be a part of one and I wouldn't want to be roasted. I've watched a couple and they were rarely funny.
    • AchaIemoipas, on 07/15/2008, -1/+7Probably because you've only seen roast attempts.

      The Dean Martin roasts (70's) were the real deal and much much funnier than the recent ones. Of course, you have to know the people getting roasted and what they did to find it funny.

      Don Rickles roasts Bob Hope:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PH23UjMG5wQ
    • admdrew, on 07/15/2008, -1/+5Really? There have been some good ones, mostly NY Friars' Club: Drew Carey (hosted by Ryan Stiles), Chevy Chase, Jerry Stiller (hosted by Jason Alexander), Hugh Heffner are the ones I've seen, and were all pretty funny.
    • kelpee, on 07/15/2008, -2/+8I don't know. The Pam Anderson roasts had it's funny moments. Announcing her vag would be in the next Batman movie as "the bat cave" had me laughing pretty hard. The Bill Shatner roast again had it's funny parts. Asking George Tekai if the doors made a whoosh whoosh sound when he came out of the closet.
      Flava Flav had funny parts, but I didn't get most of it.
      Gene Simmons' roast sucked.
      • etherreal, on 07/16/2008, -0/+2The Shatner roast was pretty awesome.
  • galvo, on 07/15/2008, -10/+3I thought John Stamos hit his head on a diving board and couldn't act anymore.. oh wai..
    • etherreal, on 07/16/2008, -0/+1He never could act. No diving board was necessary.
  • thcanalichio, on 07/15/2008, -10/+6i'm putting the aristocrats on my netflix cue right now
  • busybrain, on 07/15/2008, -12/+6HOW RUUUUUDE!
  • daebat, on 07/15/2008, -8/+2BOB SAGET!!! i can't wait to see this!
  • flashpointbob, on 07/15/2008, -12/+5Olsen Twins would have been a much "wiser" choice.
  • koft, on 07/15/2008, -10/+4***** bob saget in the ass
  • theradical, on 07/15/2008, -8/+13There is no possible way this won't be hilarious.
    • tscbill5, on 07/15/2008, -7/+8Yea unless somehow Bob Saget and John Stamos are involved, but that seems unlikely.
  • WaxTrax, on 07/15/2008, -10/+4The problem with Bob Saget's current comedy is that he tries entirely too hard to shake his former family-friendly image, and it is painfully obvious when you watch the show. His last comedy show was excruciating to watch, I only laughed about three times in the whole hour. I was disappointed because I remember seeing him do stand-up 15-20 years ago and he was actually really funny then.

    With that being said...........MY DOG LICKS MY BALLS!!!!
    • Travelsonic, on 07/15/2008, -1/+1I wonder... is there any of his old stuff on Youtube?

      I agree that his last show was a bit on the painful side.
    • Travelsonic, on 07/15/2008, -1/+1Bunck of saget fanboys modding you down... pitiful.
  • Tddupre, on 07/15/2008, -1/+68You Got It Dude
  • twoboxen, on 07/15/2008, -4/+5staaaaaaaamoos...

    gotta love conan.
  • caulkrocket, on 07/15/2008, -1/+8The Vulture!!

    (pathetically obscure)
    • KolYma, on 07/15/2008, -1/+14AHEM! It's during the episode when he tries to find a new edge to his performance and is lowered from the rafters and is (GET THIS LOL!) left hanging in mid air because they didn't lower him all the way. I'm a ***** full house scholar.
      • endlessoul, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2...I suppose a congratulations is in order.

        I think.
  • geek_xyu, on 07/15/2008, -5/+8if john stamos hostiing a roast for bob saget is going to ruin someone's childhood. their childhood is worth being ruined.
  • taketheleap, on 07/15/2008, -12/+6"You ever suck dick for crack man? No... I didnt think so. THAT'S an addiction."

    /Bob in Half Baked
    • GLMonkey, on 07/15/2008, -0/+6"I SEEN HIM!!!"
    • WiretapStudios, on 07/15/2008, -0/+4You mean suck dick for coke.
    • erasedgod, on 07/15/2008, -0/+4You mean "You ever suck some dick for marijuana?"
    • taketheleap, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1My bad...

      Correction:
      Bob: "Marijuana is not a drug; I used to suck dick for coke."
      Other Guy: "I've seen him!"
      Bob: "Now that's an addiction man. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?"
      Thurgood: "No... no, i can't say i have!"
      Bob: "I didn't think so."
      Other Guy: "Boo this man!"
      Crowd: "Boooooooooooo."
  • RavagesOfTime, on 07/15/2008, -2/+4If childhoods already haven't been ruined from Bob's stand-up.
  • KaiSe7eN, on 07/15/2008, -2/+6Tourettes Dad: BOB SAGET!!
  • breich, on 07/15/2008, -1/+5I would much rather watch Saget roast Uncle Jesse. He is a filthy bastard.
  • Superflks, on 07/15/2008, -1/+12Have Mercy!
  • tscbill5, on 07/15/2008, -6/+4and singing loving you, JOHN STAMOS's brother richard stamos.
  • Egress99, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2Nerd bomber.....
  • rainydaywoman, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2STAMOS! *shakes fist*
  • Yifkong, on 07/15/2008, -0/+4This is going to be great - I just saw Stamos tear it up with the Beach Boys last night, he's pretty good!
  • Repeater2000, on 07/15/2008, -10/+4Bob Saget is about as funny as.....




    a dead cricket
  • Testiculese, on 07/15/2008, -9/+4All my preconcieved notions of Saget as a pussy-full house actor went out the window when he was in [I forget the movie] and his line was to stand up and shout "You never sucked dick for coke!"...or something along those lines. (Was it Half-Baked?)
    • ProfessorLX, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2wow, you took a hilarious line out of a great movie and ***** trampled it, i dont think anyone could have ruined that joke any worse if they had tried. congratulations, you suck.
  • fruscianteisgod, on 07/15/2008, -1/+4jessie and the rippers reunion?
  • freeth1nker, on 07/15/2008, -10/+3Comedy Central is having a Roast for...Bob Saget? Seriously?
  • Huangism, on 07/15/2008, -6/+1video dont work, this website is gay
  • jeffstevens199, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • ZombieKiss, on 07/15/2008, -3/+1He going to give us pointers on how to hit our women?
  • ronsta, on 07/15/2008, -1/+3"This year's Roasters include [almost exactly the same Roasters as last year, the year before, and the year before that] among many others to be announced."

    -don't get me wrong; they're funny and all, but they just swap out the same jokes they used for Flavah Flav and William Shatner.
  • KolYma, on 07/15/2008, -0/+4Forever, forever....I've been so happy loving yoooou
  • FishHammer, on 07/15/2008, -3/+19If Lisa Lampanelli's on it I'm watching C-Span instead
    • Swarms, on 07/15/2008, -1/+14Seriously...we get it, you're a fat whore that likes black guys. You're not funny!

      Edit: I mean Lisa, not you FishHammer. I don't know you well enough.
      • beckerist, on 07/15/2008, -1/+6Seriously, she's crap. Her humor is on par with Triumph the Insult Comic dog with the funny appeal of a puppet replaced by the "I'm a fat ugly whore" cover...

        CRAP I say!
      • ogleby, on 07/15/2008, -0/+6Agreed, agreed, agreed. ***** Lisa Lampanelli. And not in a good way.
      • frazorblade, on 07/15/2008, -0/+3How would having sex with Lisa Lampanelli be considered good?
      • hammerpants, on 07/15/2008, -0/+5i always presume that the person i'm talking to is a fat whore that likes black guys.
    • darthdusty, on 07/15/2008, -1/+3I hope she's on ONLY if Saget interrupts her and calls her a dirty *****.
  • jbrand45, on 07/15/2008, -0/+3Have mercy! Hope no one ***** with his hair.
  • 12D3, on 07/15/2008, -1/+1This sounds like a setup for a bad Mad TV sketch.
  • AddiX, on 07/15/2008, -1/+13The Real Question:
    Are those anarexic twins gonna be on the Roast too?
    • DevilInPgh, on 07/15/2008, -0/+3One of them is too busy saving a gigantic cross from a burning house. The other is too strung up on drugs.
  • teethandeyes, on 07/15/2008, -3/+5Bob Saget is one filthy bastard. After seeing his stand-up, I have new found respect for him.
    • baconz, on 07/15/2008, -2/+1Yea, filthy. But too bad he isn't funny. At all. Not in the very least.
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