Should I Ask Out A Fitness Model I've Never Met Who Followed Me On Instagram, And Other Advice Column Questions
There are too many excellent advice columns to keep up with, so we're committed to bringing you links to the best advice column questions and answers every week. Here's a roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists (and subreddits) addressed in recent days.
Should I Ask Out A Fitness Model I've Never Met Who Followed Me On Instagram?
I recently made an Instagram account just to follow friends. Just this morning I realised that another person (whom I don't know and never met and is a gorgeous fitness model) has clicked to follow my profile. Turns out the profile is legitimate because it is linked to Facebook and when I saw some photos, a friend of hers is an ex work colleague.
My question is do you think it's a good idea to contact her through Instagram and see if it leads to a date?
Harris O'Malley shoots down this idea. "You've never interacted with this person before, you know next to nothing about them except that she's gorgeous and that you have a mutual friend," he writes. "Trying to slide into her DMs out of the blue isn't gonna be a good look for you." Read the rest of his answer.
How Can I Get My Boyfriend To Stop Making Me Watch Him Kill Dogs In Video Games?
So my boyfriend and I have been dating for three years and he's recently gotten into this game called The Division.
You don't need to know a lot about the game except for that there's lifelike stray dogs that roam around the city. They don't attack you or anyone on your team, they just roam around and eat stuff off of the ground and things of that nature.
Well, every time he finds a stray dog in The Division, he gets my attention and makes me look up and he shoots the dog. He doesn't do it super consistently because he knows I'll catch on if he did it all the time, but even though it's fiction, it just makes me sad—and he knows it makes me sad, but he thinks it's hilarious.
I've asked him to stop a couple of times and he keeps doing it. I guess I'm just wondering: what can I say or do to actually get him to cut this out? It disturbs me that he has fun doing things like this.
The commenters on the r/relationships subreddit advise the letter writer to dump her boyfriend. "At the very best he likes making you upset and at the very worst, he's a disturbed individual with no empathy," writes one. "Either way, you should end things while you're ahead." Read the rest of their answers.
What Should I Say To A Friend Who Gave Me A Gift Card And Then Spent All The Money On It?
Three friends gave me a gift card for my birthday several months ago. When I tried to use it recently, the balance showed zero. But that wasn't possible; the card had never left my wallet. The store manager discovered that one of my friends (who purchased the card) went back to the store with her receipt, had the card reissued and used it to buy a dress. The manager gave me all the documents. I couldn't believe it! When I told my other two friends, they were furious. They had all contributed equally to the card. They say I have to confront her. I don't know what to do. Advice?
Philip Galanes encourages the letter writer to approach the friend in question with the two other friends. "Say calmly: 'I tried to use the gift card, but it seems you bought a dress with it,'" he writes. "Show her the documents and ask her to explain." Read the rest of his answer.
How Can I Get People To Stop Assuming I'm My Son's Grandfather Because I'm 68 And He's 11?
I am a happy father. I was overjoyed to have my first child at the age of 57.
My boy, "Michael," is now 11, and in the fifth grade.
My problem is that most of the younger parents assume that I am Mike's grandfather. I always promptly correct that assumption, saying that that I am his father and that we started late.
Some of these statements are made within my son's earshot. This has an impact on attending parent/teacher meetings and school functions.
This embarrasses both of us. He is a sensitive lad.
He has even said that he hates his parents being so old. (His mother is 47, but she looks much younger).
On one occasion a very heavy-set woman told me that I must be Michael's grandfather. My response was to congratulate her on her pregnancy. As she assumed, so did I.
I would appreciate some help in addressing this issue. as it is a constant source of emotional distress.
Amy Dickinson advises the letter writer to accept that this is a fairly reasonable assumption and to help his son put it in perspective. "Tell your son, 'Hey, I understand that this can be hard on you sometimes," she writes. "'But you know what? It is what it is. I feel proud and lucky, and I don't care what other people think.'" Read the rest of her answer.
Can I Let My Daughter Invite Everyone In Her Kindergarten Class To Her Birthday Except One Girl?
My daughter, Riley, is turning 6 in about a month. We are about to send out invitations and are intending on inviting her whole kindergarten class to her party, except for one. This girl, Isabella, is a bully to most of the class but especially Riley, and Riley hates her. I have seen enough interactions between them to know that Riley's dislike is very valid, as this girl is just plain awful, and if she is invited she will ruin the party not just for Riley but also a lot of the other kids from her class and even some of the parents too. Unfortunately, I know that Isabella's mom will somehow catch wind of the party and there will be drama, and she will probably get the kindergarten teacher involved.
Riley is dead set on inviting her whole class, but is also dead set on this girl not being invited. Is it OK to invite practically the whole class but leave Isabella's name off the invite list? Or should I make Riley suck it up and invite Isabella anyway?
[Slate]
Nicole Cliffe informs the letter writer that they don't have to invite Isabella but that they can't invite literally everyone else in the class. "I do think that even if Isabella were a no-holds-barred-fire-monster, it's unkind to have only one child excluded," she writes. "If Riley throws a fit, you can ignore it." Read the rest of her answer.
Can I Force Cashiers To Manually Recount The Change They Give Me?
I remember when cash registers were less automated, and the cashier was required to calculate and make change. The change amount now appears in the display, provided the cashier entered the correct amount offered by the purchaser.
How does a customer count the change without irritating those in line behind? I'm always tempted to ask, "Have you NEVER made a mistake? Is that why I should trust that this wad of money you are thrusting at me is correct?"
I doubt the majority of today's younger generation knows how to count back change. Should that preclude them from verifying the amount, and letting the customer know it's correct? Or am I turning into an old bitty?
[UExpress]
Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin, and Jacobina Martin note that the letter writer's frustration seems disproportionate. "Miss Manners can think of three proper ways customers can verify the correct change without unduly delaying other customers," they write: "checking the receipt, estimating the amounts (recognizing that if you round to, say, $5, you risk being shortchanged), and learning to subtract faster." Read the rest of their answer.
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