NIGHT OF THE LIVING BREAD
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Good news for all fans of baking and food-related television: a new season of "The Great British Baking Show" (or "The Great British Bake Off") began airing last week, with new episodes on Netflix US every Friday.

Last Friday saw the release of the season premiere, which was everything we "Bake Off" fans could have wanted — and more. So much more. Way too much more, in fact. Because what we didn't know when we watched the first episode was that it would be part "Bake Off," part horror flick.

As is tradition, the first round of this season was Cake Week. For the third challenge — the "showstopper" — contestants were charged with creating elaborate busts (out of cake, of course) of their personal heroes. Each contestant chose a celebrity of some kind, whether in film, music or the sciences: we were excited to watch Lupita Nyong'o, David Bowie and Sir David Attenborough, among others, come to life at these talented bakers' hands.

But things didn't go quite as planned. For — as is also tradition on "The Great British Baking Show" — the contestants' ambitions far outweighed their skills for this particular challenge, which, admittedly, was a pretty tough one for judges Prue and Paul to have assigned.

Still, the busts turned out so much worse than we ever could have imagined. Viewers took to Twitter immediately to absolutely drag the confections, none of which looked remotely like the people they were supposed to honor.

Look upon their works, ye mighty, and despair.

David Bowie

Tom DeLonge

Lupita Nyong'o

It takes real effort to make one of the world's most beautiful women look like… this.

Freddie Mercury

The singular bucktooth was honestly insulting from the jump.

Even the show itself couldn't help but poke fun at poor Freddie:

Louis Theroux

Bill Bryson

Wow, he actually looks just like… most older, balding white men.

Louise Bennett-Coverley

Sir David Attenborough

Why.

Charles Darwin

Honestly, this one could have been worse, though it's only as unthreatening as it is because it has almost no features whatsoever.

Chris Hoy

Woof.

Bob Marley

From this perplexing cake's creator: "My hero is Bob Marley. I just love his ethos, not to worry about stuff."

Marie Antoinette

This one was honestly the most well-done bust, both in terms of not looking like ET and looking somewhat like the woman herself. Still, not quite the queen we were looking for.

It shouldn't have been surprising that these busts wouldn't turn out quite as anticipated. But we should have known what was to come would be nothing short of nightmare fodder as soon as we saw this:

Respectfully: no ❤️

Molly Bradley is an editor at Digg.

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