Animals

WOOF TAKE

I'm actually a huge dog person, so it brings me no joy to do this — to expose dogs for the dimwitted creatures that they really are. Anyone who's been around dogs knows they can be brilliant at one moment and completely boneheaded the next.

THIS WILL NOT FLY

Over the past 14 years, Martin Guth has built a monopoly of some of the world's rarest birds. Will his secretive organization ultimately help more parrots in the wild, as he says — or push them closer to extinction?

DON'T GIVE US LIP

Every once in a while someone reels in a freaky-deaky looking creature from the sea, and every tabloid is all over it. This time, it's a triggerfish, which apparently have teeth like humans, used "to crush and chisel holes in their hard-shelled prey."

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