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If Tom Cruise Had A Comic Book

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  • bennylava123, on 07/17/2008, -15/+177One of the funniest things I've read this week
  • Tallboy7, on 07/17/2008, -24/+12Scientology is PEOPLE
  • yorkhock, on 07/17/2008, -30/+116I don't think this is a comic book. These are just photos of them talking.
    • darkmist, on 07/18/2008, -19/+10What gave it away. The fact that they are wearing different clothes in every shot or the sunglasses magically appearing on cruise's face?
    • vaccumpony, on 07/18/2008, -13/+5It's a called a photo-comic. Not an uncommon comic style/format in Europe and Mexico (and possibly other countries).
    • RaulMuadDib, on 07/18/2008, -10/+2comic book
      n.
      A book of comics strips or cartoons, often relating a sustained narrative.
    • pedepy, on 07/18/2008, -3/+8maybe that taco is just real good at drawing ?..
    • notwizt, on 07/18/2008, -4/+7It's supposed to _look_ like a comic book. Nobody said it _was_ a comic book.
    • lornefs, on 07/18/2008, -3/+3So not the point.
    • tripledjr, on 07/18/2008, -0/+3Wow as if all 6 people above didn't catch on to the fact that he was implying this actually happened... as a joke... you know that thing people do sometimes....

      *facepalm*
    • Eronamanthius, on 07/18/2008, -1/+2WHOOSH!
  • suziejones, on 07/17/2008, -5/+14Hahahaha.
  • aksn1p3r, on 07/17/2008, -3/+118Scientology is like not even a religion, is it?
    • xptoast, on 07/18/2008, -5/+12Definitions according to dictionary.com

      Religion:
      3. the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices
      ( http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/religion )

      Belief
      1. something believed; an opinion or conviction
      ( http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/belief )

      I think that covers any sect/group believing anything set of information to be true.
      • zephc, on 07/18/2008, -0/+10That 3rd definition is so generic as to be useless as a definition.

        Number one is the best:
        "a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs."

        the best definition for Scientology is number 6 for http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cult
        "a religion or sect considered to be false, unorthodox, or extremist, with members often living outside of conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader."
      • jeremyduffy, on 07/18/2008, -4/+2Using my definition, no:

        Cult - Any set of beliefs that an organization refers to as a religion where the organization keeps any part of the beliefs secret or hidden from public scrutiny and/or charges money for any function of the "church". Usually typified by the phrase "giv me all yor monies and yer wommin!"
    • SquigglyP, on 07/18/2008, -2/+15Like, scientology is like not even like a religion, is it?

      Like...
    • splorpdotorg, on 07/18/2008, -7/+23I don't know the origination of this, but:

      cult (n) a small, unpopular religion

      religion (n) a large, popular cult
    • Tyrghast, on 07/18/2008, -9/+18Oh no it's a religion. Just like Christianity, Islam, Mormons, and any other major religion, it's a bunch of people devoutly following the written word of a raving, drug-induce *****/group-of-*****.
      • PL3NTY, on 07/18/2008, -2/+4How right you are
      • Rocco03, on 07/18/2008, -0/+1But Scientology is not ancient enough, ergo it has to be a false religion.
        It'll be upgraded to real in a few hundred years.
    • DarkReign16, on 07/18/2008, -0/+7Depends on which country you are in. Not like it makes any difference, whatever you call it, it's still ***** crazy. And last I checked, calling something a religion didn't really help with it's credibility anyway.
    • estacado, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2When will the Scientology vs. Kaballah war will begin?
    • adasha, on 07/18/2008, -1/+20All other religions are false before the noodly appendages of the Flying Spagetti Monster
      • linzperc, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2I agree his Holiness' noodly apendages are grand and somewhat saucie... Therefore he rules over all that is good and flippin' sweet.
    • Murrabbit, on 07/18/2008, -0/+7It's a non-theistic cult centered around a base of schizophrenic sounding pseudoscience and spiritualism. I use the term cult because it's followers and leadership follow quite strictly even the strictest criteria of defining a Cult, be it separation from the outside world (including loved ones) blackmailing and bullying dissenting members to make them stay in line and keep them from leaving, or even ordering followers to commit suicide (They call it "End of cycle" or EOC) when they become a liability (Seriously, google the Fishman deposition).

      They'll throw a fit if you try to apply the label to them, but surely if the term cult can be applied to any group, then it can be applied to Scientology.
    • Evie1851, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2YAY! I can post these links again. I look forward to any story on digg where I can educate people on the evils of Scientology. Here you go aksn, and any of you who might be slightly unclear on what exactly Scientology is. :)

      youfoundthecard.com
    • Evie1851, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2hmmm..I have to re do these links. it didn't let me post em all.

      http://whyaretheydead.net/
      http://www.xenutv.com/
      http://xenutv.wordpress.com/2008/04/21/jason-beghe ...
    • fx666, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2Scientology is a small cult, its membership in the US is about 50,000. I had a close encounter with them once when several of my friends joined the Church of Scientology. I was able to convince two of them to leave the Church but the other three were too deep into this ***** and did not want to leave. Sociologists believe that L. Ron Hubbard is the latest incarnation of Buddha. The also believe Hubbard's story about an evil Galactic ruler named Xenu who killed trillions of his subjects to keep the Galactic Confederacy population from consuming too much of precious food resources. That shows how crazy the Scientologists are. But this is what cults do to their members.
  • Jasper710, on 07/17/2008, -1/+48No one else can save that person. Only a Scientologist can.
    • MacSuxWindozSux, on 07/18/2008, -2/+14"What's your crime? What are you hiding?"
      • sk33lz, on 07/18/2008, -0/+1that is the funniest video ever.

        What's your beef? (from Tom Cruise in an Edgar suit, or perhaps a clone that went wrong)
  • iddybiddy, on 07/17/2008, -12/+305That strip covered Will Smiths entire acting facial spectrum on one page.
  • mrbubby, on 07/18/2008, -4/+47I enjoy will smith's uneasy facial expression as he hopes Tom Cruise is joking about Scientology having a "No Blacks" policy.
    • rinpoche, on 07/18/2008, -1/+44Scientology takes anybody who can pay.
      • prophetpimp, on 07/18/2008, -3/+8And Jews don't Pay. Hence the no Jew Policy.
    • JKAL, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2they take anybody who pays but some people for different purposes.
      http://youtube.com/watch?v=g00IGPOJ8wE&feature=rel ...
    • Murrabbit, on 07/18/2008, -3/+2Yeah this comic was pretty off base - everyone knows it's the Mormons who don't take blacks. Scientologists don't discriminate against anyone unless they are poor, or stubbornly refuse to abandon their critical thinking skills once they get into the cult.
      • mahdaeng, on 07/18/2008, -0/+1[[Yeah this comic was pretty off base - everyone knows it's the Mormons who don't take blacks. ]]

        Uh, wrong.
    • notwizt, on 07/18/2008, -1/+4Yes, that is part of the joke. Good job.
  • scrooched, on 07/18/2008, -6/+8Hilllllarious!!!
  • louiebaur, on 07/18/2008, -11/+5Weird@!
  • Donoram, on 07/18/2008, -1/+92Nobody remembers DJ Jazzy Jeff
  • joshuagor44, on 07/18/2008, -17/+6Leave Tom Cruise aloooooooone!!!
  • zyklon, on 07/18/2008, -2/+143Needs more jumping on couches.
  • 2clone, on 07/18/2008, -15/+6Come on you guys Scientology Is cool.

    They sell happiness kinda like hookers.
    • nonnyOh, on 07/27/2008, -0/+1Seconded! If by happiness you mean brainwashing, and by hookers you mean crack.
  • nickert0n, on 07/18/2008, -2/+53Seriously though What about Jada
    • jmcneilly, on 07/18/2008, -2/+9If he can't keep Jada any more, I'd be more than happy to take her in.
    • norm7, on 07/18/2008, -5/+4TAKE HER IN MY PANTS!!!
    • estacado, on 07/18/2008, -2/+1Jada don't have no ass on her.
  • Deathcow, on 07/18/2008, -23/+6They should do one for Christians, since they are just as mindless as Scientologists...
    • DannySpace, on 07/18/2008, -2/+6At least they accept Jews.
    • JohnsonGotOwned, on 07/18/2008, -1/+11Which is crazier... An evil alien overlord, or a god?

      I'll let Digg decide.
      • notwizt, on 07/18/2008, -0/+3Well, aren't you making a false dichotomy since the evil alien overlord is viewed as God?
    • SquigglyP, on 07/18/2008, -3/+6God.

      What do I win?
  • computerusr, on 07/18/2008, -9/+3It would not be funny.
  • MrTito, on 07/18/2008, -1/+79Seems to be a hidden message in the comic. Tom Cruise stole Will Smith's sunglasses. ***** thief.
  • ax8284, on 07/18/2008, -2/+18what about uncle phil?
  • JohnsonGotOwned, on 07/18/2008, -1/+21I see no difference between this, and reality.
  • flawedprefect, on 07/18/2008, -4/+20Seriously... NO JEWS.

    Cracked me up.
    • flxfxp, on 07/18/2008, -5/+4Just wait until they Jew Jitsu your ass
  • dthebear, on 07/18/2008, -11/+8will smith is a scientologiest? that makes him way less badass
    • havocjaw, on 07/18/2008, -0/+8No, he is just a confused badass now.
  • Draculecom, on 07/18/2008, -0/+41Oh Digg. You're so glib.
  • crcook, on 07/18/2008, -9/+12I think I just achieved Thetan level 4.

  • DanQuist, on 07/18/2008, -7/+1But no Jews.
  • HumanGlitch, on 07/18/2008, -7/+2Im not a fan, dude
  • jmcneilly, on 07/18/2008, -7/+3I can't find the link to the next page. There HAS to be a next page! Damnit! I want moar!!
  • Jokermx, on 07/18/2008, -10/+5It immediately reminded me of this picture:
    http://i38.tinypic.com/wtyti.gif
    • TheCrock, on 07/18/2008, -0/+1how? why? on any level - how does it relate?
  • 180andback, on 07/18/2008, -2/+62So, Scientology is like golf.
    • dvsbastard, on 07/18/2008, -1/+20"Would you like something to read?"

      "Do you have anything light?"

      "How about this leaflet, 'Famous Jewish Sports Legends?' "
      • seriouslyorange, on 07/18/2008, -0/+10Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
      • aptanalogy, on 07/18/2008, -0/+12Joey, have you ever seen a grown man naked?
      • Synapse84, on 07/18/2008, -0/+11Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
      • flxfxp, on 07/18/2008, -3/+1Joey, what is this for kind of madness?
      • RogaDanar, on 07/18/2008, -0/+4Shirley you can't be serious.
      • MRintheKeys, on 07/18/2008, -0/+5I am serious and stop calling me Shirley.
      • Filipp0, on 07/18/2008, -0/+6 You got a letter from headquarters this morning.

        What is it?

        It's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important.
    • total1337ness, on 07/18/2008, -4/+3So your saying it sucks
  • baldr, on 07/18/2008, -2/+9did anyone else watch the rerun of the south park episode about Scientology tonight?
  • adml_shake, on 07/18/2008, -1/+24Well the artist could have made the Scientology HQ look a little more realistic...here's an artists rendition (and he was a former member)
    http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/files/2007/05/ ...
  • McShr3dd3r, on 07/18/2008, -1/+16I would pay to see new episodes of this daily.

    Would be even better if it was longer.
  • mrzack, on 07/18/2008, -12/+4leave them alone. They're Academy Award winning Actors!!
    • Murrabbit, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2No, actually neither Cruise 'nor Smith has ever won an Academy Award.
      • mrzack, on 07/18/2008, -0/+1leave them alone. They're Academy Award nominees!!
  • rudieboy, on 07/18/2008, -7/+2You have to digg it for the Fresh Prince.
  • rinpoche, on 07/18/2008, -3/+10Xenu approves
    • norm7, on 07/18/2008, -0/+15Silence, infidel!
      The only person that can speak for Xenu is a qualified scientologist at Thetan Level 5!
      With 5 easy payments of $999.99
    • CraigReed, on 07/18/2008, -4/+1Approves of yo mamma.
    • CandiLain, on 07/18/2008, -0/+1Hail Xenu
  • therumster, on 07/18/2008, -4/+23Oh, how I hate Tom Cruise.
  • diana1234, on 07/18/2008, -4/+28If this is buried it proves the brigade is run by a bunch of scientologists
  • teamedge07, on 07/18/2008, -1/+36.............. "You can't catch me gay thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • defy, on 07/18/2008, -4/+1Nicely done, I didn't really get who the first one was about?
  • Bluetar, on 07/18/2008, -1/+1In a word...brilliant!!
  • sofunnyithurts, on 07/18/2008, -2/+36"I love kids. I was a kid myself, once. " -Tom Cruise
    • aptanalogy, on 07/18/2008, -0/+24Corrected:
      "I love myself" - Tom Cruise
    • flxfxp, on 07/18/2008, -5/+9"I love kids. I was in a kid myself, once. " -Tom Cruise
  • Infekted, on 07/18/2008, -2/+2That's hilarious. they should make more of those.
  • TwwIX, on 07/18/2008, -1/+7*cues the Mission Impossible theme
  • quixand, on 07/18/2008, -11/+3Too bad this was a horrible ripoff of family guy.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6c_xzJqye_E

    Was funny when Peter did it, this however is a piss poor attempt at comedy.
    • VooDooBrAnMaN, on 07/18/2008, -0/+0This was different than family guy.
  • FRGT10, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2Haha good one..there should be more like this
  • colincattral, on 07/18/2008, -0/+4Before reading the article I imagined Tom Cruise with an unambiguously gay Robinesque type sidekick trying to defeat the mighty closet monster, followed by Katie Holmes prosecuting him for fraud. But this comic is good too.
  • szym, on 07/18/2008, -1/+3In case any one wonders, what the artist used for the HQ is actually Lazienki Palace in Warsaw:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Poland_Warsaw_% ...
  • rosekevin, on 07/18/2008, -0/+3O, that perfectly symmetrical Will Smith face!
  • Dradu, on 07/18/2008, -1/+6Am I the only one who saw Will's picture on the top right and could think nothing but Woll Smoth?
  • Rudegar, on 07/18/2008, -1/+2i'm happy i managed to keep my coffee in

    guess that comic would be illegal in germany though
    they hate cruise and Scientology about as much as they love david hasselhoff
    • Murrabbit, on 07/18/2008, -0/+2If only the US could wise up enough to be on the same page as Germany in that reguard. . . er you know minus loving Hasselhof - there's just no call for that.
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