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If Your Last Girlfriend Had an IMDb Page

cracked.com — Goofs and continuity errors by your last girlfriend.

Bury
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  • tumples, on 07/05/2008, -2/+356"Unfortunately, there are no plans for a sequel."
    • ayeroxor, on 07/05/2008, -64/+4Wrong thumbnail picked by a submitter more anxious to submit than he was to grab his first boob at age 15. Nice work, submitter.
      • trisweb, on 07/06/2008, -2/+13Wrong thumbnail acceptable as girl in wrong thumbnail is hotter than girl in correct thumbnail.
      • ayeroxor, on 07/06/2008, -0/+1And so we find the pinnacle of the average Digg user/submitter: Inaccurate is better.
    • tumples, on 07/05/2008, -3/+50I hope you sleep better thinking that I sat and panicked as I submitted this article.
      • iJessicaRabbit, on 07/05/2008, -13/+2I know I will, thank you for the update. I'm just so insanely furious that it's the wrong thumbnail!!! :)
      • ayeroxor, on 07/06/2008, -5/+1Laughably and predictably, you can't even reply in the correct place. But don't you worry your confused little head; your ineptitude has nothing to do with how I sleep. But I hope some day you learn to grow up and take your time and realize that even though everyone here is cheering you on for being inept and such a "cool rebel," rushing through things and ***** them up is a character type that will cost you jobs and money and promotions, not gain them. Maybe you're content being a line worker, though. If so, I congratulate you for reaching your pinnacle so soon.
      • Xander512, on 07/06/2008, -0/+2dude its just a ***** website relax
    • calon9, on 07/05/2008, -13/+8My last girlfriend almost nuked the fridge the time she claimed she was sneaking up on me with a knife while I was napping because she really wanted to know if I wanted some toast. I found the situation completely plausible (I love buttered toast) and the relationship continued.
      • therightclique, on 07/05/2008, -6/+12That "nuked the fridge" thing just doesn't work, ever. Don't you feel like a huge tool using it? Because you sound like one.
      • calon9, on 07/05/2008, -13/+5No I don't feel like a tool. It's called multi-layered satire, one layer making fun of the mushrooming of that phrase and all the people who try to shoehorn it into whatever concept they're relaying, whether it fits or not.

        Also, your sentence "Because you sound like one" really nuked the fridge of your comment; But don't ask me to explain how.
      • Myonosken, on 07/05/2008, -0/+40What the ***** are you two talking about?
      • remccain, on 07/06/2008, -0/+8It's sort of like Esperanto, but it's called "Idiocy"; the universal language of buffoons.
      • RoflCoptah, on 07/06/2008, -0/+9wtf is 'nuking the fridge'?
      • DephexTwin, on 07/06/2008, -1/+1I... NUKE... YOUR... FRIDGE! I NUKE IT UP!
  • MtheoryX, on 07/05/2008, -64/+9Cracked spam....

    Original Article:
    http://black20.com/article/imdb-goofs-your-last-gi ...

    Just the image:
    http://blacktwnty.vo.llnwd.net.s3.amazonaws.com/o1 ...

    Enjoy!
    • saxreturns, on 07/05/2008, -0/+27RTFA. It's not spam if Black 20 posts it to Cracked. There's even a reference and a link to the Black 20 site at the start.
    • amawg9, on 07/05/2008, -0/+21Read: On Saturdays, we ask our favorite sites on the web to fill in for us. This week, Mike Drucker of Black 20 shows you what it would look like if your last relationship had an IMDb goof page recording all the things that didn't quite add up.
    • Namco, on 07/05/2008, -0/+21What're you ***** blind kid?:

      "If Your Last Girlfriend Had an IMDb Page By Black 20 "

      "Cracked.com Guest Article By: Black20"

      "...This week, Mike Drucker of Black 20 shows you what it would look like if your last relationship had an IMDb goof page recording all the things that didn't quite add up."

      "For more funny articles and videos head to Black20.com."

      "Cracked.com Guest Article By: Black20"
    • ummmmm, on 07/05/2008, -10/+3Kill yourself.
    • MtheoryX, on 07/06/2008, -0/+2Yes, I'm a complete idiot at times.
  • allothersnsused, on 07/05/2008, -33/+16Little does Cracked know: She does.

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0424060/
  • digitaldivinci, on 07/05/2008, -0/+393I'd hate to see the supporting cast list for my last girlfriend...
  • Thorpe, on 07/05/2008, -31/+5If your girlfriend was a movie it should be. They don't have a section on IMDb for goofs on people.
    • plup, on 07/06/2008, -1/+13Do you ever wonder why everyone stops laughing when you show up?
  • FarSide792, on 07/05/2008, -1/+112What....no "Memorable Quotes" section?......thats *****
    • digitaldivinci, on 07/05/2008, -1/+6'I had to wash my hair.' - Honest to god heard that once. What do they do in the shower then for 20 minutes?
      • arkaycee, on 07/05/2008, -0/+24The same thing we do in the shower in 30 seconds (plus another 30 for shower wall clean-up).
      • ari25, on 07/06/2008, -0/+2a girl actually said that to me once and it caught me by surprise, the only thing i could say to her was that i would rather she lied to me than give me that line....i don't care if you actually have to wash your hair....just...uhhh
      • novenator, on 07/06/2008, -0/+2my [head/vagina/stomach/sinuses] hurts
    • AWBoy666, on 07/05/2008, -2/+61One of my ex's once asked me: "How does the Tylenol know to go where it hurts?"

      That was a good one.
      • Nappuccino, on 07/06/2008, -0/+7Why'd you break up with her? She's obviously a keeper.
  • digitallysick, on 07/05/2008, -27/+5It would probably be so kind of porno, since she is probably ***** everyone. Ahhh american women don't you just love them
    • xanadu2113, on 07/06/2008, -1/+6offensive comment, but cool tree logo!
      • Synapse84, on 07/06/2008, -0/+4i agree.
      • JamesAJanisse, on 07/06/2008, -1/+2I can't believe you commented on it then, presumably, stole it.
  • jamestwisleton, on 07/05/2008, -2/+112If you had a last girlfriend.
  • arkaycee, on 07/05/2008, -2/+816My current relationship does have an imdb page...

    http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0401456/
    • Rage67, on 07/05/2008, -0/+62my condolences
    • fragout36, on 07/05/2008, -7/+122You sir have won the intarnets.
      • Tag89, on 07/05/2008, -1/+17As soon as I read the original comment I knew someone reply with this. Tragic.
      • fragout36, on 07/05/2008, -7/+0As soon as I read the first comment I knew I would reply to it that way and then when I read my comment I knew someone would reply with a "ZOMG its an over used comment" comment. Tragic.
      • abesdrisb, on 07/06/2008, -8/+4As soon as I read the first comment I knew someone would reply to a reply regarding how overused a comment is. Telepathic.
      • tyleristheshyt, on 07/06/2008, -2/+9As soon as I came out of the womb I knew in my small mind that there would someday be a Sir Fragout and Sir Abesdrisb who will try to be dugg up while their Hotpockets are cooling off.
        Shame.
    • Rodalli, on 07/05/2008, -0/+132lol @ the tagline: "Wrong place at the right time."
    • trumpcard, on 07/05/2008, -17/+2To be more precise sir can you tell us whether its your right or left hand.

      Thank you.
    • ViperCTW, on 07/05/2008, -3/+68I truly regret clicking that link while taking a drink of water
    • lengau, on 07/05/2008, -0/+57Since 1998? I'm sorry!
    • darkciti2, on 07/05/2008, -8/+3"Tagline: Wrong place at the right time"

      Well done, sir !!!
    • culbeda, on 07/05/2008, -1/+6Touche!
      • dignan2681, on 07/06/2008, -0/+11Sorry, I didn't realize we were dueling.

        En Garde!!
    • RetroMetro, on 07/05/2008, -11/+1haha. I've been on digg for almost an hour looking for a really good laugh. thanks.
    • Myonosken, on 07/05/2008, -15/+2Mine seems to have been split in to its parts:

      http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093010/
      http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093773/
    • bgfinkel, on 07/05/2008, -16/+4Heyoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
      • lengau, on 07/05/2008, -0/+25OMFG YR COMMENT LEFT TEH COMMENT AREA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111oneoneeleventyone~~1
    • AvronC, on 07/05/2008, -2/+30This is a win of astronomical proportions.
    • ari25, on 07/06/2008, -2/+1*Applause*
    • NateTheGreat7, on 07/06/2008, -0/+1omg that is brilliant
  • VitaminH, on 07/05/2008, -2/+172I found my last girlfriend. Apparently she was on the Dean Martin Show before me.

    http://us.imdb.com/character/ch0035432/
  • snareguy17, on 07/05/2008, -3/+44Memorable quotes: "I swear, I'm not cheating honey."
  • goat2, on 07/05/2008, -15/+1IB4 digger's dont have gf's
  • ZJDriver, on 07/05/2008, -12/+1
    omg, the potential for brilliant entries has me STYMIED right now!!

    :-D
    • t4ll3y, on 07/05/2008, -1/+8Somebody just bought a word a day calendar.
  • SoulSk8er74, on 07/05/2008, -13/+1Pshh! What!? No Subways at Great Adventure?! Obviously someone didn't ride the new "Dark Knight" Coaster...
  • drmangrum, on 07/05/2008, -0/+82Girls will be your friend? Wow!
    • blackjack75, on 07/05/2008, -1/+3It's some sort of paradox that "non-girl people" will agree to be your friends only if you don't ***** them. As for the others...
    • Synapse84, on 07/06/2008, -2/+1willingly too? i always have to drug them up to get them to talk to me. :(
  • Munceenuts, on 07/05/2008, -2/+49So that's what having a girlfriend is like? Oh..
  • thailand1972, on 07/05/2008, -10/+31Revealing Mistakes: Your last girlfriend was sadly a figment of your imagination - e.g. in one intimate scene, it was your own right hand, and not your girlfriend's, that was rubbing you off.
  • macslut, on 07/05/2008, -0/+50The forgot a factual error: Nobody could come close to living the lifestyle your girlfriend lives on the salary she makes.
    • badenglishihave, on 07/05/2008, -1/+23Apparently you are not familiar with the "credit card."
    • AWBoy666, on 07/05/2008, -4/+3That's so true in so many ways that it's not even funny.
  • mlvassallo, on 07/05/2008, -13/+2LOL...
  • mimigins, on 07/05/2008, -1/+30"The Websense category "Tasteless" is filtered."

    Wtf
  • jcaino, on 07/05/2008, -2/+9wow, someone is bitter.
  • DeFex, on 07/05/2008, -17/+80If you have a U2 album you deserve her.
  • Eldrick, on 07/05/2008, -3/+13Sounds like a really ***** relationship to me. The list just keeps going, come on man, figure it out sooner!
    • Pikachelsea, on 07/06/2008, -0/+1You been in any relationships lately? Here's how they work:

      1. Get in relationship.
      2. Notice something they do that annoys you.
      3. Overlook it and tell yourself the positives outweigh the negatives.
      4. They realize they've gotten away with it and continue doing both the thing that annoys you and more questionable things that upset and annoy you.
      5. You tell yourself all of this stuff is to be expected, nobody's perfect, blah blah blah, what's the big deal right?
      6. More time passes until you've invested so much of your life into the relationship that the prospect of leaving it is terrifying, no matter how much they get under your skin.
      7. Even more time passes and by now you loathe every aspect of this person you once thought you were in love with so much that you finally muster the balls to end the relationship, all the while kicking yourself for not calling it off back around step 2.
      8. Spend a while single, get lonely, forget about all the crap they did to make your life a living hell.
      9. Meet some new beezy who you're convinced is different from all the rest, and since you're unable to resist the temptation and are bored of the single life, you start again at step 10.
  • gonzoceltic, on 07/05/2008, -9/+2That's pretty funny. No doubt about it.
  • aday, on 07/05/2008, -5/+171"Girls like to say 'I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual.' I like to reply "Oooh, I'm not honest, but you're interesting.'"
    --Daniel Tosh
    • morphinapg, on 07/05/2008, -28/+3Religious just means you follow traditions such as go to church however many times per week.... pray however times per day... help so many people... bla bla bla. When you're religious you think DOING things helps get you into heaven.

      When you're spiritual, you believe being in a relationship with Jesus and believing he died for our sins will get you in heaven. Sure you will do many of the things religious people do, but it's not as important. Also religious people like to recite the same prayers over and over. Spiritual people know that means nothing, the prayers have to be personal to you and have actual meaning, or they're pointless.
      • Nidy1, on 07/05/2008, -0/+17"When you're spiritual, you believe being in a relationship with Jesus and believing he died for our sins will get you in heaven."

        *****. It has nothing to do with Christianity.
        1: of, relating to, consisting of, or affecting the spirit : incorporeal
        2 a: of or relating to sacred matters b: ecclesiastical rather than lay or temporal
        3: concerned with religious values
      • saejinn, on 07/05/2008, -0/+8Nidy1 is right...morphinapg needs to look up the actually definitions of the words instead of making up his/her own meanings of the words.

        The whole "I'm not religious but I have a relationship with God" is *****. The definition of "religious" (according to answers.com) is:

        1. Having or showing belief in and reverence for God or a deity.
        2. Of, concerned with, or teaching religion: a religious text.
        3. Extremely scrupulous or conscientious: religious devotion to duty.

        And to say you're "spiritual but not religious" is wrong as well. The definition (according to answers.com) for "spiritual" is:

        3. Of, from, or relating to God; deific.
        4. Of or belonging to a church or religion; sacred.
        5. Relating to or having the nature of spirits or a spirit; supernatural.
        ...
        2. Religious, spiritual, or ecclesiastical matters. Often used in the plural.

        Once again the supernaturalists are wrong.
      • SuicideMouse, on 07/05/2008, -2/+3Well what should I say if I ponder the unknown, believe in spirits, believe thought manifests reality, don't believe in god but believe in collective consciousness (perhaps more then one), and like to think about alternate universes and that there may be species existing on different planes of consciousness (not "gods" just different species)?

        Would I say I was spiritual or something else?

        Serious question...
      • morphinapg, on 07/06/2008, -0/+1Yes, I was talking about what it means to me, which is what we're talking about here. If someone says they are spiritual not religious, chances are they mean what I said.
    • Rally603, on 07/05/2008, -2/+25That guy gives me hope that not all comics are following in the footsteps of Carlos Mencia and Dane Cook by trying to be as loud and obnoxious as possible.

      Plus, he's a laugh riot. So I highly recommend checking him out.
      • Quicksilver4648, on 07/06/2008, -0/+2...hops on YouTube...
      • Swarms, on 07/06/2008, -0/+1And he makes fun of Dane Cook. You should watch the deleted scenes on the Completely Serious DVD.
      • xptoast, on 07/06/2008, -1/+1*shakes YouTube hoping for quicksilver4648 to fall off from the monstrous jolt to the tube then runs away laughing crazy like *
  • xptweakerntn, on 07/05/2008, -0/+19But..............the trailer button doesn't work!
  • mstester, on 07/05/2008, -8/+4Factual errors: No digg user has ever had a girlfriend
    • Skooma714, on 07/05/2008, -4/+2I've had four, two of which were actually pretty decent until they terminated the relationship.
    • trumpcard, on 07/05/2008, -4/+3Not everybody here is a socially inept creature am I rite diggers,I'm so sorry.
    • gquaglia, on 07/05/2008, -1/+3At least a real one anyway.
    • psykiv, on 07/05/2008, -2/+3I guess I'm not a digg user then?
    • AnimaStomp, on 07/12/2008, -0/+0haha way to get all hurt at this guy making a joke.
  • Skooma714, on 07/05/2008, -10/+3Women: Saying whatever is good for the moment and never owning up to anything.

    If this were real I bet dollars to donuts she would think it's all your fault and she was completely justified in everything she did.
  • Spamiclese, on 07/05/2008, -4/+32My last girlfriend was ugly =[.
    • BadWobot, on 07/05/2008, -0/+11Gee, I wonder why you aren't together now...
      • UsablePuddle, on 07/05/2008, -0/+5Gee, I wonder why they were ever together, unless she wasn't ugly when they got together?
      • Myztry, on 07/05/2008, -1/+5Ugly people SETTLE for ugly people. Where's the confusion ?
      • asurroca, on 07/06/2008, -0/+7His icon is Quagmire. Why is anybody surprised?
    • DukeMojo, on 07/06/2008, -2/+7My current girlfriend is ugly.

      But she does things to me that would make Larry Flynt blush.
    • chaos7, on 07/06/2008, -0/+1you should refuse to have an ugly girlfriend
  • bioskope, on 07/05/2008, -3/+30Continuity Error: When she said that she didnt want to do it because it was one of those days, well it wasnt
  • arkaycee, on 07/05/2008, -5/+11Both. At once.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0043138/
  • gemlarin, on 07/05/2008, -11/+2http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0451107/
    yes? no?
  • diskit, on 07/05/2008, -5/+75Trivia: She is actually a lying cheating whore and you're better off without her.
  • MBHockey, on 07/05/2008, -9/+3lame
  • maryjay9, on 07/05/2008, -7/+0"If this were real I bet dollars to donuts she would think it's all your fault and she was completely justified in everything she did." )))
  • CbME, on 07/05/2008, -14/+1What's funny is that both my ex-girlfriend and I have multiple IMDB listings that I am not going to list on Digg
    • psykiv, on 07/05/2008, -0/+12Congratulations. You have herpes.
    • SaladCactusKing, on 07/05/2008, -0/+12mmm. why yes, I AM a hot shot movie man. Oh no, I cannot bear to list it on digg, you plebians would all flock to me!

      *checks IMDB*

      -Man In Crowd...A Very Brady Sequel

      -Production Assistant for Lorenzo Lamas

      Ahhh, the glamorous life.
  • SagaMatkat, on 07/05/2008, -9/+1Pretentii. Impresarul spune ca ii va cere fotbalistului zece procente din contract http://www.digline.net/story.php?title=Ana_Maria_P ...
    • LordofChaosIori, on 07/05/2008, -1/+2Yes.
      • SagaMatkat, on 07/05/2008, -0/+0Ana Maria Prodan has requested 10 % by the contract of Dica. She was pleased to forgive him for divorce and come back..
      • Ryosen, on 07/05/2008, -0/+1As though that somehow makes it better?
    • itsthebrod, on 07/05/2008, -2/+7SPEAK AMERICAN.
      • dougbarrett, on 07/05/2008, -2/+2I'm digging you up, because that is either the dumbest thing I've ever heard or the funniest thing I've ever heard...it depends if you were sarcastic.
  • phyx726, on 07/05/2008, -1/+17Should have read the book, its so much better.
  • Falldog, on 07/05/2008, -2/+13"There are no subways at Six Flags: Great Adventure"

    Yet New Jersey smells like a subway, I could see the confusion.
    • orlyfactor, on 07/05/2008, -6/+2The entire state, huh? Come to Bergen County sometime, to the nice areas, and we'll compare that to the smell of diarrhea that I always seem to encounter when walking in the Village on 7th ave. And before you ask, I check my depends to make sure it's not me when I smell it.
      • legalizeitmon, on 07/05/2008, -0/+5OK but who the ***** wants to go to Bergen county
      • homah, on 07/05/2008, -3/+1Beats the city by a longshot.
  • reconflux, on 07/05/2008, -9/+5While I was with her, she was shooting another with someone else...

    http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0250797/
  • Borgcube636, on 07/05/2008, -12/+2"No one can be 'spiritual, not religious'. That's totally *****" - Damn it! That's not true!!
  • FlyingLlama, on 07/05/2008, -7/+19My last girlfriend ACTUALLY has an IMDB... :)

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2062561/
  • 1807, on 07/05/2008, -1/+17Instead of a list of what she's been in, there would be a list of whose been in her.
  • Phoskins1, on 07/05/2008, -1/+1what if you are a guy bloke? you wont have a girlfriend
  • pmace, on 07/05/2008, -1/+40Well, I've searched IMDB for about 30 minutes now, and there's no movie called "Herpes-Ridden Whore", so I guess I can't post the title and make all of you guys laugh. Sorry.
    • MonkCanatella, on 07/07/2008, -1/+1Does that mean you have herpes?
    • AnimaStomp, on 07/12/2008, -0/+0Sounds like my ex-girlfriend. Except it would read: "Bi Sexual Herpes-Ridden Whore". Sounds like a comedy movie!
  • jizzlies, on 07/05/2008, -7/+2Sounds like it's time for a breakup:
    http://www.bofads.com/stories/breakup.htm
  • TheKeithD, on 07/05/2008, -8/+3404 Not Found
  • -Jaguar-, on 07/05/2008, -6/+6I'm sick of people writing THE Olive Garden. You don't say "THE McDonalds" or "THE Pizza Hut." It should say "she loves Olive Garden." If you are going to Olive Garden say, "we are going to Olive Garden." It's THE correct way to say it.
    • budgeysmuggler, on 07/06/2008, -0/+2Some do say 'THE pizza hut' sad but true.
    • yacks, on 07/06/2008, -0/+3Well I wish I went to THE Ohio State University.. lol But I do not like Olive Garden at all.. though The Olive Garden is pretty good.. :)
  • therealfoz, on 07/05/2008, -4/+26My last girlfriend DOES have an IMDB page
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0807940/

    • RDist, on 07/06/2008, -0/+2It seems I married your ex-girlfriend
    • Llanowar, on 07/06/2008, -0/+1Your last girlfriend is a huge slut. Just about any guy I know, and plenty of girls, have had her!
  • FatBird19, on 07/06/2008, -7/+1"Hey, let's get a look at that snatch."

    "What? You're confident! How does this look?"
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