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The Onion: ***** Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters watch!

theonion.com — For a majority of likely voters, meaningless ***** will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008.

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  • idiotkings, on 10/27/2007, -0/+136Funny because it's true.
    • BiotMessiah, on 10/20/2007, -1/+40Also, sad because it is true...
  • chaosmachine, on 10/23/2007, -7/+82brilliant. these guys are giving the daily show a run for their money.
    • DMCer, on 10/19/2007, -3/+12It's so much more funny without the studio laughter!
    • EelfinnTy, on 10/23/2007, -0/+4The Onion has been doing it for a few more years. They started in 1988.
      • Culled, on 10/19/2007, -0/+2Yeah, but they've been doing video for a few months.
  • SiNN4R, on 10/21/2007, -2/+91I love the picture of Hillary Clinton right on the thumbnail.
    • mfpratte, on 10/18/2007, -0/+8i love the zinger about Hillary, but to be honest i was waiting for it from the beginning
  • danogburn, on 10/20/2007, -0/+30Onion wins again.
  • drizzlelicious, on 11/06/2007, -5/+11Only in 2008?
  • S1ngular1ty1, on 10/30/2007, -3/+72Hillary is definitely winning in the ***** polls.
    • mrASSMAN, on 11/06/2007, -3/+36Meh, I'd vote for Giuliani as top spot in the ***** ballot. He is an accomplished *****.
      • Rice, on 11/06/2007, -1/+30911.
        • jmknsd, on 11/06/2007, -0/+16It will be 9/11 times 2,356.
        • SiNN4R, on 11/06/2007, -1/+5That would be 1927.6363636363636363636363636364
        • Mageling, on 11/06/2007, -0/+91927.6363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636363636

          *Rudy's head explodes*
        • DestroyFascism, on 10/25/2007, -2/+2Orlly! My heds explodin!
      • OneAndOnlySnob, on 11/06/2007, -0/+5Don't even joke about voting about Giuliani.
      • Rich711, on 11/06/2007, -2/+2Wow, you now you are totally partisan when you cant even admit that Hillary Clinton is the champion ***** artist.
  • diggumup, on 11/06/2007, -18/+13I'll be damned if I vote for a president who spends $400 on a haircut. It completely discredits his views.
    • tubular, on 11/06/2007, -0/+10I'll be damned if I vote for a candidate that doesn't where a flag lapel pin made in China while debating a man who gets a 400$ haircut!
    • BlakeEM, on 10/19/2007, -0/+5Sure if you're into thinking about ***** like that...
  • dakilla91, on 10/18/2007, -19/+4For those of you that dont know....this is called satire. :)
    • stealth210, on 10/18/2007, -0/+6Thanks. I never know when I'm watching it.

      -GLaDOS.
      • BradMW, on 10/18/2007, -0/+4I'm not even angry. I'm being soo sincere right now.
  • FoxDiller, on 10/18/2007, -8/+3Does this mean that Stephen Colbert, will win some votes? (if he decides to decide to announce to run as President)
    From what I hear, he's good at flinging ***** back.
    • jjesusfreak01, on 10/21/2007, -0/+2Sorry, Stephen doesnt BS nearly enough to get the votes...
  • twotimesthru, on 10/23/2007, -1/+93From the news ticker: "Top U.S. commander in Iraq announces troop levels there will gradually decrease over next five years as soldiers die."
    • unearth, on 10/20/2007, -0/+15Wow, nice catch. I was busy counting the number of times they said "*****".
      • cphelps, on 10/19/2007, -0/+6Well ***** then, tell us how many times they said "*****".
    • nastajus, on 10/23/2007, -0/+2Damn. I was captivated by the facial expressions and moving overlay graphics, surprised how real it looked, wondering how to make that Television layer behind. Great script, extras missed.
  • Misinformant, on 10/24/2007, -21/+14Of course it is. Look who the front-runners are?

    Also, screw Paul. Colbert '08 all the way.
    • joegibes, on 10/18/2007, -0/+4Lol...
      I was thinking of voting for Stewart-Colbert, but I guess I'll be moving to South Carolina over the winter.
  • paulwis, on 10/23/2007, -1/+50This is supposed to be a parody but unfortunately it's really not =(
  • Hoxie, on 10/18/2007, -0/+8sad because its true.
  • Kinickie, on 10/18/2007, -0/+4I would Digg this twice if I could.
  • funktimus, on 10/18/2007, -1/+7Good stuff, This came out on the onion also today
    "If Elected, I Will Have The Hottest First Lady In U.S. History"
    By Sen. Fred Thompson
    Presidential Candidate
    October 17, 2007 | Issue 43•42
    http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/if_elected ...
  • Richandler, on 10/18/2007, -0/+7This is the greatest video currently on the internet.
    • D3koy, on 10/18/2007, -0/+1Ehh...I'd say top ten...
    • peterzuni, on 10/18/2007, -0/+6close.... Watch "Use Of 'N-Word' May End Porn Star's Career" linked 100px below and tell me that isnt better. I havent laughed that hard in a while.
  • Evildad, on 10/18/2007, -0/+5"The *****-conscious voter..." :applause:
  • Tomboys, on 10/18/2007, -0/+5Could this be anymore brilliant?
  • rephil513, on 10/18/2007, -3/+9It won't be BS if people study up on what RP is running on. I.E.= real issues!
    But other than that, yeah the BS floats the boats of the other candidates, mostly because they are full of it.
  • DeepFreezed, on 10/18/2007, -0/+5lets all hope that scull fing bill gets passed by congress.
  • Hetman, on 10/18/2007, -0/+1This is the greatest ***** vide I have ever listened too.
  • OPTheory, on 10/18/2007, -3/+0It's that guy in the recently dugg "Manliest, most honest commerical ever"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MySQXlpVciQ
  • graphictype, on 10/20/2007, -8/+2Hillary Clinton will be a real tragedy for this country! http://www.hillaryclinton.com/splash/
  • KingBunny, on 10/21/2007, -2/+5Hahahahaha. Hahaha. HAHAHA. Haha.
    ...haha.

    That's the funnies thing I've seen in a while. It really helps to lighten the "we're doomed because we're dumb" mood.

    The ONLY thing it's missing is a mentioning of Giuliani.. Hillary just uses BS; Giuliani owns the store that manufactures it.
    • Rich711, on 10/20/2007, -0/+1Please common. You are so partisan you cant even bring yourself to admit that Hillary is clearly the champion ***** artist. You put the nut in nut-root.
    • Rich711, on 10/20/2007, -0/+1Please, you are so partisan you cant even bring yourself to admit that Hillary is clearly the champion ***** artist. You put the nut in nut-root.
  • DestroyFascism, on 10/18/2007, -0/+1Every one loves a ***** artist.....
  • chobbney, on 10/19/2007, -0/+4The Porn Star says the N* word is better.
    (NSFW)
    http://www.theonion.com/content/video/use_of_n_wor ...
  • MerryMortician, on 10/18/2007, -1/+1wow. its funny as hell.. yet so not funny at the same time. *(digg explanation- because see it IS true and thats where its just sad)
  • teacherbc48, on 10/19/2007, -1/+1Stephen Colbert for President...Colbert Nation all of the way...at least he KNOWS that he is full of *****. I just bought his book--outrageous!!--and would absolutely support his run for president...kinda like Man of the Year with Robin Williams. Get your wrist strong bracelets at Comedy Central.
    • pwnster, on 11/01/2007, -0/+0I could never vote for somebody who's full of *****.
      We need somebody who's willing to stand up for truth.
  • |ant|, on 10/18/2007, -0/+3Stay tuned... ABC cancels "Who wants to save Africa?" after only 2 episodes.
  • snotrokit, on 10/18/2007, -0/+1dugg and sent on to pretty much everyone I know. That kicked ass.
  • izooM, on 10/18/2007, -0/+1ahaha that was funny
  • Codee, on 10/19/2007, -0/+1That was some funny *****. About *****. Now ain't that some *****?
  • ZombieNinja, on 10/31/2007, -0/+2The most honest news reporting, and it comes from the Onion XD
  • thebrawl, on 10/19/2007, -0/+1Dugg for Hillary pic next to phrase "meaningless *****"...
  • pwnster, on 11/01/2007, -0/+0I've always been a fan of Hillary. She's so full of *****.
  •  

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