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See the original image at binaryfractal.blogspot.com

Solid Snake Has No Penis

binaryfractal.blogspot.com — When Otacon said "Snake had a hard life" he wasn't kidding.

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  • Mrdudeperson, on 06/26/2008, -3/+9Snake ain't got no Snake
  • macgallant, on 06/26/2008, -3/+3that's messed up dude
  • adiggcted, on 06/26/2008, -5/+6!
  • navster15, on 06/26/2008, -1/+11"Well I'm sorry to inform you that during the 70s, engineering the ability to reproduce meant ***** eliminating the whole ***** organ, making someone sterile is ***** high tech, even for now. I could settle for no balls but that wouldn't explain some other ***** I've seen."

    According to Wikipedia, vasectomies have been performed since 1897. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasectomy)
    • mywhitenoise, on 06/26/2008, -1/+3Not only that, it would be easier, cheaper, and safer to just cut off the balls.
    • LR2_, on 06/26/2008, -1/+1Aren't vasectomies reversible?
      • skidme, on 06/26/2008, -0/+2They are said to be, but usually there is too much scar tissue formed on the insides of the ductus deferens to permit the flow of sperm. Either way, if Snake simply had a vasectomy, and still had his testicles, they could simply go into his testicles and fish out a few good sperm.
  • NGliam, on 06/26/2008, -5/+5Funny theory, but making people sterile is as easy as giving them a pill nowadays..
  • mywhitenoise, on 06/26/2008, -0/+6Johnny isn't a clone, he looks like Jonathon Brandis, not Snake. The genome soldiers aren't clones. They went through genetic therapy with Big Boss' DNA...that doesn't mean they're clones. Only a retarded story would incorporate something like that (Star Wars).
    MG2 on NES was called Snakes Revenge, Solid Snake was on MSX.

    Other than that, it's a funny article. Could be true, but I like to imagine that Solid Snake ***** Otacon. Don't ruin my fantasy of Snake man handling me.
    • NGliam, on 06/26/2008, -0/+4Also, I thought that Johnny had the ***** in MGS1 because he didn't have any gene therapy in that like he didn't have nano injections in MGS4 - he's scared of needles, and thus his body isn't "special" like everybody elses..
  • Apeezee, on 06/26/2008, -11/+2Hahahaahahahaha, awesome. The poster-boy for PS3 has no penis. Shall i say the fanboy wars are over? :P
  • Flame15, on 06/26/2008, -3/+3I knew he had to be compensating for something.
  • MrInquisitive, on 06/26/2008, -4/+1If that is true, why is the original called "Big Boss"?
    • mywhitenoise, on 06/26/2008, -0/+3Because he killed The Boss. His code name for the Snake Eater mission was Naked Snake.
  • skidme, on 06/26/2008, -3/+4I know Solid Snake has a penis, because pretty much every game reviewer has had a chance to hop on.
  • fpaudon, on 06/26/2008, -0/+2Wow, this just completely reminded me of this
    http://pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF006-The_Man_with_No_P ...
  • S0ya, on 06/26/2008, -1/+1And I hear he smuggles packets of cigarettes up his arse too!
  • CLShortFuse, on 06/26/2008, -3/+1See, that doesn't make sense. How would he urinate? I guess this guy thinks Snake urinates out of his ass. He would a better chance of convincing me he had no testicles since they are for repoduction.

    And i'm pretty sure he would KNOW something was up (being scientifically engineered) if he didn't have a penis. Being told he's a "scientifically modified clone" wouldn't have been such a surprise.

    I'm burying it as inaccurate since he wasn't trying to be funny or anything but SERIOUSLY thinks Snake has no penis.
    • mindinrewind, on 07/09/2008, -0/+1Yes, a penis is necessary to urinate. Just ask any woman.
  • CLShortFuse, on 06/26/2008, -1/+2"Well I'm sorry to inform you that during the 70s, engineering the ability to reproduce meant ***** eliminating the whole ***** organ, making someone sterile is ***** high tech, even for now."
    Right, he just can't be sterile. In the MGS universe they can have nanomachines, Vamp's healing, Psycho Mantis's telepathy/telekinessis, sophisticated selfthinking AI, artificial blood, FULL Human Genome cracking, DNA targetted parasitic airbourne viruses (FOXDIE) (is there anything else I'm missing?) but they can't have sterile clones. Yeah, that's too high tech
  • DryerCombo, on 06/27/2008, -0/+8That was alot more indepth then it needed to be.
  • myshl0ng, on 06/30/2008, -0/+2I can`t look at Snake anymore, I just can`t.
    I`m sorry.
  • Bense, on 07/01/2008, -0/+1"I gotta snakeeee man"
  • pulga, on 07/01/2008, -0/+0owned?
  • Mlcboarder, on 07/03/2008, -0/+1The character model comparison surprised me.
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