The following relationship "advice" is purely satirical and meant for entertainment purposes only — please do not cite us in divorce court.

Each week, we'll be rounding up the internet's most interesting relationship questions and chiming right in. From nightmare first dates to exploring new fetishes, we're leaving no corner of the internet unexplored.

My Pregnant Sister-In-Law Wants A Private Chef... Me

I've (31m) been married to my wife Sage (30f) for 6 years and we have two kids together. I'm a chef and I love to cook but generally we take turns cooking so neither gets burned out or feels like it's a chore (this is especially helpful when we host others because allergies are big in both our families). When she was pregnant, though, I cooked for her all the time because pregnancy was not easy for Sage and I wanted her to be able to relax and enjoy food instead of being too tired and sick to eat, which is how she was in the very early stages of her first pregnancy. Everyone knew about it but Sage's sister Gwen (34f) brought it up an excessive amount and said she couldn't believe Sage was getting waited on during her pregnancy and that "a dude would do that for his wife". It was a touch annoying how much she brought it up.

Now Gwen is pregnant with her first child and she called up out of the blue after her pregnancy announcement to say I should cook and send meals over for her like I did for Sage. At first I thought she was trying, and failing, to be funny, but nope, she was as serious as a heart attack. I told her I wasn't cooking for her and brought up how random and inappropriate it was to ask like that. She told me we're family and she's pregnant and I should want her to rest as much as I had wanted Sage resting during both of her pregnancies. I told her Sage is my wife, so it's different and I told her she has a husband to cook for her if that's what she wants.

She told me her husband would never and I should try being a good BIL. I told her BIL doesn't equal spouse.

Gwen tried to talk Sage into convincing me but the two of them were never close so Sage just rolled her eyes and told her where to go. Even she couldn't believe Gwen is for real.

Gwen's reaction to being told no by both of us was to run to her parents and tell them I refused to help her out and she told them she was struggling and had just wanted help. They asked why I couldn't do it occasionally since Gwen's husband is too much of an ass to do it. I told them it was a lot to ask and we weren't that close to Gwen.

When Gwen realized her parents hadn't convinced me or convinced Sage to convince me, she called back up and said I was an ass for not helping my family and for rubbing her husband's lack of consideration for her in her face.

I'm starting to feel like this will become such a huge deal and now I'm doubting myself. AITA?

I’m in the minority here when I suggest that you should consider cooking for her occasionally, and share that responsibility with your wife. Ultimately, someone will have to step up for the sake of this child, especially since the father’s so checked out already. I understand this situation sucks, approach it with the awareness that this child is going to be stuck with these parents, so screw it and do it. Just make sure to gradually reduce the help once she’s given birth and has had a chance to rest. Please stick to the agreement though and stay firm. I’m sorry your life has become a harrowing reminder that when you marry, you really do marry your spouse’s entire family sometimes too. Read the rest of the thread here.

My Husband Won't Stop Giving His Female Co-Worker Rides

A Monday morning I saw my husband leaving the house earlier than usual and I asked the reason since he never leaves that early. He said he needed to give his co worker a ride. I asked if it was the same girl he helped when she got stuck in the snow. He said yes, that she asked a ride until Wednesday. I asked what was the problem with her car this time and he said there was something wrong with her tires. I paid no mind since she lives five minutes from us and I just found it kind of him. But then, later on Monday he gets home late and he tells me he was also dropping her off. Again, I didn’t make it a big deal because it made sense to me that if you pick someone up you also gotta drop them off.

Tuesday comes, I’m getting lunch with my co worker and I see my husbands car driving by and I see the girl in his passenger seat. I ask my friend to turn around. We see them getting off the car. I called him. He didn’t answer. He called back and I asked if he wanted to grab lunch and he told me no, that he was already in line and he had to go back to work to finish some work during his lunch. I said I could stop by and have a quick lunch with him while he finished whatever he had to do. He again said no, because he really needed to fish this project. I said no biggie, another day then. We wait outside. We see them get in the car and leave.

My coworker asked if I wanted to go to his job to see if he was eating lunch with her in the car and I said yes. My heart was racing. Not only is he giving her rides, but also saving her during the snow storms and having lunch with her. We get there. They’re not in the car. We go to his office, he’s not in there. We hear chatter and laughter and it’s coming from the break room. I walk in there and they are sitting across from each other having lunch together. I felt like seeing them there when he told me he had work to do was a hard punch in my stomach.

I ask to speak to him and asked why he lied and he said I was just making it a big deal that we would talk at the house.

I get home, he acts casual like nothing happened and doesn’t bring it up but I do.

I said I was uncomfortable now that he wasn’t only giving her rides to work but also spending his lunch with her and when I asked to have lunch with him he told me he couldn’t cause he had work to finish but I find him sitting across from her eating lunch with her.

I asked if he could tell her to find a new ride for the next day that something had came up and he said he wasn’t gonna do that because he had already agreed to take her and she had given him gas money. I said I would give him two options. To also give me a ride to work since it was on his way (2 mins away) and we pick her up together and do the same thing after work or he could just tell her that something came up and he wouldn’t be able to get her. He said I was being malicious and that he would rather call in sick than have him do that.

It hurt even more hearing him say that cause I’m his wife and what is he hiding that he doesn’t want her and me in the same car.

Next morning comes. He said he was gonna call in sick but he gets up, gets ready and goes to pick her up.

A Monday morning I saw my husband leaving the house earlier than usual and I asked the reason since he never leaves that early. He said he needed to give his co worker a ride. I asked if it was the same girl he helped when she got stuck in the snow. He said yes, that she asked a ride until Wednesday. I asked what was the problem with her car this time and he said there was something wrong with her tires. I paid no mind since she lives five minutes from us and I just found it kind of him. But then, later on Monday he gets home late and he tells me he was also dropping her off. Again, I didn’t make it a big deal because it made sense to me that if you pick someone up you also gotta drop them off.

Tuesday comes, I’m getting lunch with my co worker and I see my husbands car driving by and I see the girl in his passenger seat. I ask my friend to turn around. We see them getting off the car. I called him. He didn’t answer. He called back and I asked if he wanted to grab lunch and he told me no, that he was already in line and he had to go back to work to finish some work during his lunch. I said I could stop by and have a quick lunch with him while he finished whatever he had to do. He again said no, because he really needed to fish this project. I said no biggie, another day then. We wait outside. We see them get in the car and leave.

My coworker asked if I wanted to go to his job to see if he was eating lunch with her in the car and I said yes. My heart was racing. Not only is he giving her rides, but also saving her during the snow storms and having lunch with her. We get there. They’re not in the car. We go to his office, he’s not in there. We hear chatter and laughter and it’s coming from the break room. I walk in there and they are sitting across from each other having lunch together. I felt like seeing them there when he told me he had work to do was a hard punch in my stomach.

I ask to speak to him and asked why he lied and he said I was just making it a big deal that we would talk at the house.

I get home, he acts casual like nothing happened and doesn’t bring it up but I do.

I said I was uncomfortable now that he wasn’t only giving her rides to work but also spending his lunch with her and when I asked to have lunch with him he told me he couldn’t cause he had work to finish but I find him sitting across from her eating lunch with her.

I asked if he could tell her to find a new ride for the next day that something had came up and he said he wasn’t gonna do that because he had already agreed to take her and she had given him gas money. I said I would give him two options. To also give me a ride to work since it was on his way (2 mins away) and we pick her up together and do the same thing after work or he could just tell her that something came up and he wouldn’t be able to get her. He said I was being malicious and that he would rather call in sick than have him do that.

It hurt even more hearing him say that cause I’m his wife and what is he hiding that he doesn’t want her and me in the same car.

Next morning comes. He said he was gonna call in sick but he gets up, gets ready and goes to pick her up.

This broke my heart, my trust, our trust. He chose to be okay with her and decided to disrespect my emotions and concerns.

But not only that, he still dropped her off after work. When he came home, he again told me I was making it a big deal and while I cried, he couldn’t even look me in the eye and just ignored me like I was the wall. I was so furious because he is the person I love the most in this world and the one I trusted with my whole life.

I thought Wednesday would be he last day to pick her up but he was still going to do it on Thursday because her car wasn’t ready yet.

But not only that…

Two weeks after this, I find out my friend who is a bartender and didn’t know about the situation heard his entire shop talking about how this girl that works with my husband is all over him and looks like she has a crush on him or like they have something unprofessional going on.

My husband denies anything and says he doesn’t know how his co workers are coming up with that conclusion when he is just training her. He says he doesn’t find her attractive or likes her besides being a nice co worker.

I just can’t get past the lie and the fact that he decided to hurt me in order to protect what she thought of him. I feel like I can’t trust him again because if he did this with something so small, how am I supposed to rely on him for bigger things and the fact that his entire job is gossiping about them, makes it worse! I feel embarrassed.

He would just like to me to move past this and move on and forget it because as he said “it’s redundant” and I need to stop “hovering” over it.

Edit: I’d like to add that I never once before found anything suspicious. After this incident, he showed me their messages. It was all work related and he said he did it to piss me off. She also has a bf but doesn’t live in the area. He admits that the way he responds places him in a bad spot but I don’t know what to believe anymore.

If we’re being honest, I think the problem here is that you feel threatened by this female co-worker of his, and all the time she gets to spend with your husband. I get that you want him to validate your feelings, especially if it comes at her cold weather demise, but I think you're going about it the wrong way and punishing everybody, including yourself. I'm sorry, but why are you trusting a bartender's gossip over the word of your legal husband? Honestly, if you cannot trust the words coming out of his mouth, then maybe he's actually untrustworthy and really not the love of your life. You need to talk to him, nobody else, tell him you're at a breaking point with not feeling special and it's coming across in a way that deeply hurts you. Read the rest of the thread here.

I Made A Naming Pact With My Sister, And My Pregnant Wife Is Upset

My wife is 20 weeks pregnant with our first baby, and we found out last week that our baby was going to be a girl. I was really happy about it, because that meant I would get to decide the baby’s name. For context, my wife and I decided when she got pregnant that if the baby was a boy, she would get to choose the name, and if the baby was a girl, I would get to choose the name.

Now to give some background, my sister and I decided many years ago that we would name our first babies after each other if her first child was a boy and if my first child was a girl. My sister’s first baby was in fact a boy, and she did name him after me.

So I was really excited to name our baby after my sister. I called my sister and told her about it and she was extremely overjoyed, I’ve rarely seen her that happy. I then told my wife of my decision, and thought she would be really happy with the name, but she was surprised and seemed a bit sad. She then asked if I could change the name to any other name and that I could still choose whatever name I wanted. I told her I needed some time to think about it.

It’s been a week, and I haven’t really changed my mind, I still want to name our baby after my sister.

AITAH?

Third time's the charm, and I'm back in the comment majority! What is your sister's name? I'm not going to list any guesses, but I feel it must be bad, or at least boring if your wife is vehemently against it. On that note, I think your wife does get the ultimate veto. I'm not going even going to suggest a middle name settlement agreement, because you are clearly in the wrong for this one. You should've told your wife beforehand about this pact. At this point, even if she went with "Suki Waterhouse," I'd still be on her side. Read the rest of the thread here.

Check out last week's edition here.

[Image credit: Luci]